


Black Phoenix

by Niaf (Fain_Snape)



Series: Black Phoenix [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Minor Injuries, Not Beta Read, Past Child Abuse, Rescue Harry Potter from Abusive Home, Serious Injuries, Some torture scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-10-25 22:38:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 132,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10773921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fain_Snape/pseuds/Niaf
Summary: This will be the first story and takes place just before Philosophers Stone. I am taking the idea of the philosophers stone but in a slightly different light and changing how the events will come to pass and how the dark lord rises. In this series the Dark Lord survived though severely weakened after that fateful night in which his curse failed to kill Harry Potter and he seeks the Philosophers stone which was hidden away from the world by Nicholas Flamel and Albus Dumbledore.





	1. A Broken Night

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter or any of it's characters they belong solely to J.K.Rowling an amazing writer. Truly brilliant. I only have the honor of playing with them for this story and hopefully others. Please read the real story of Harry Potter from J.K.Rowling's amazing books. For they are truly worth every read. I have read them so many times I have lost count.
> 
> **Summery Notes:** Everything I write here is fiction and is not a part of the actual story of Harry Potter as written by J.K.Rowling, but it is a story I have quite enjoyed writing. This is part of my what ifs series. Hopefully there will be many more works to come from this train of thought. 
> 
> I have completely changed the timeline and how the events of the books take place. I have also made the characters my own so they will be slightly OOC I am sorry for that. Unfortunately unless it is J.K.Rowling writing the stories herself every rendition of her characters will be tainted by the author's take on the characters. 
> 
> **Warnings:** Contains mention of abuse (child and adult), contains language unsuitable to all audiences, contains scenes of torture and descriptions of injuries.

Black obsidian eyes blinked slowly open. Pain shot through his head until he thought he would black out again from it. His mind felt clouded and fuzzy. The pain something he'd never known before. Or had he? He couldn't figure it out right now. He raised his hand which seemed to take far too much effort and gently pressed it to his forehead feeling something wet and sticky beneath his long slender digits. Curious he pulled his hand away to gaze up at the red that slicked his fingers. Well that explained the dizziness and fuzziness. He must have hit his head during the explosion and he must have hit it very hard because he knew these symptoms well. He was suffering from a concussion. Suddenly memories began to swim back up from the cloud of darkness that swam in his mind. 

 

_Albus leaned forwards, "trust me Severus," the words in his gentle tone made the other man look up from where he was sitting his head resting in his hands._

 

_"I do," came the soft reply so unlike the icy cold exterior that hardly ever wavered. That voice wavered._

 

_"Then you need to retrieve the stone and complete the mission," came Albus's response. Severus gave a sharp nod and looked back down into his hands._

 

_"It's suicide," a spark of anger tinged his words. Severus felt the anger rise. Had he not been doing enough already? Had he not suffered enough? Why must he always be the one to pay the cost of this war? Why couldn't he ever be allowed a moment of rest? He knew why. He felt it in his chest burn and war with the grief inside his mind. Grief that never let him rest._

 

The memory swam away from him leaving him feeling hollow and scared a feeling he did not enjoy. He wanted the comfort of anger that he understood, but he could not make his sluggish mind latch onto the anger that usually burned strong in his chest, always so close to the surface, easy to call. All he felt in that moment was fear and crippling agony far worse then the Cruciatus curse.  The pounding in his head was increasing with the rhythm of his racing heart. His breathing was laboured and each breath burned in his chest as he tried to draw in enough air. He needed to breath shallower he had bruised ribs if they were not broken already. He was familiar with this pain. So so familiar. How he wished it were not so. He tried to swallow, there was too much saliva, but he knew why that was. His stomach was lurching uncomfortably and he felt ill. That was another sign of a concussion he knew, but with his ribs being bruised being physically ill would make it ten times worse. Oh he did not look forward to that. He swallowed convulsively trying to fight what he knew was inevitable. 

 

His left fist tightened and he felt the bite of something solid against his palm even as he pressed his right hand harder against his aching head. Trying to push the pain away and let thought through. He raised his left hand, his black sleeve falling away to reveal his arm and the Dark Mark along with many scratches and abrasions from the falling rocks. He blinked his eyes open when he realized the darkness was not caused by his location, but instead because his eyes had closed again. He was so dangerously close to blacking out.

 

There clutched in his hand was a blood red stone. He had done it. He let his arm fall back to his side trying with clumsy fingers to find his inner robe pockets. Were all the precious potions he usually carried about his person were. His fingers trailing over soft slightly rough material seeking. Seeking. 

 

"Severus?" Came a silky voice he knew all too well. A voice that had evidently been calling his name more then once from the tone of fear and worry that tinged the cold words. He knew every nuance of that voice. Most would not hear the emotions beneath the cold and silky tones that had been cultivated over years of training. He did. For he knew this man as his brother. 

 

"..." he tried to speak, but Severus soon realized that only coughs would follow the activity. The sound seemed to draw the man towards him as sharp footsteps with a slight limp could be heard. Such a very slight alteration on the left step that he knew it instantly. "Luc," he barely managed to whisper. His weak voice catching on the last letter and dissolving into harsh coughs that nearly made him loose the battle with his stomach.  Pain far more intense slashed through his chest and head as the coughs were torn from his body until blackness swam in his vision threatening to make him fall.

 

"...rus open yours eyes!" Lucius's words were louder then they needed to be, louder then they should be, Severus couldn't figure out what the rest of what Lucius had said was as his ears had bussed and it had taken him a while to focus on what had sounded like a voice. He'd barely managed it and realized once more that his eyes were closed. The darkness was not unconsciousness but his own eyes being closed. He forced them open. Watched as the shapes spun and swirled and slowly resolved into the worried face of his blond haired friend. 

 

For a long moment Lucius and Severus looked into each other's eyes. Neither knowing exactly what to say. One trying to analyze how badly the other was injured and the other trying to cling to consciousness with barely any energy left to do so. 

 

"Sev, how badly are you hurt," Lucius called out lowering his voice as he noticed the flinch from the wounded man. 

 

"Bad," came the too soft reply. No coughing this time he was grateful for that. His breathing was laboured and harsh and it was far too painful he would need to focus on that. He let his eyes closed he needed to concentrate. He couldn't hear what Lucius said as he worked to calm his breathing so he could again breath without so much pain. 

 

For several moments he did not know what was going on around him until he felt the shift of air and the soft touch of fabric against exposed skin slowly followed by light manicured fingers running over his skin. Seeking the injuries that caused him to bleed so profusely. 

 

"Sev?" Came the call again. His breathing was better, but Lucius's words were enough to distract him from his exercise in focus. He forced his eyes to open again even though the bright light from Lucius's lite wand made his eyes burn and his stomach churn harder. He could taste bile now. How he hated that taste. Swallowing convulsively to keep from being sick he let his eyelids close.

 

"Sev!" Lucius demanded harsher then was needed. Severus flinched, "you need to stay awake Sev," he said softly. His voice going to a bare whisper. "Focus on my voice," the next words spoken as the man gently took his empty left hand. Empty, were was the stone. Had he lost it, panic rose, until he remembered. He had slipped it in his robe pocket. Safe. It was safe. 

 

A pause before the next words left Lucius's lips, "where you successful?" A slow movement of the head in a positive was all Severus could do. It was not even a complete nod and the action left him feeling even more ill if that were possible. He was swiftly loosing this battle. "He will be pleased, we must leave to him now, can you stand?" A slow and deliberate shake. There was no way Severus was moving on his own. He did not even know the full extent of the damage his body had sustained. "Alright, I will help you. In either case we must get you before him. I will have to take us both to him. Sev you must hold on, please. You cannot let go, do you understand me," Lucius demanded. The last needing assurance. He could hear the fear in his friends voice and he desired to let him know he wouldn't let himself go. He nodded slowly. So slowly. He felt the relief more then heard the soft words. He didn't know what Lucius had actually said, if anything, but it had been enough to reassure the elder man that Severus was going to be ok. 

 

This was the fourth trie for the stone. Was this one the real one? Severus was found to wonder, letting his mind wonder as he knew that the moment he was moved he would either black out or be ill. He just wasn't sure which. Head wounds were tricky he knew. He had had enough experience with Healers to know that. He had after all had to learn how to heal himself from an early age. 

 

Strong arms found their way around him and slowly moved him so he was sitting. Severus leaned his head into the shoulder that was next to him as the arms snaked firmly around him. He couldn't hold his head upright on his own. It ached too much and the dizziness that rose was far worse then the nausea that threatened to win out. He let himself lean heavily against the other male as consciousness threatened to leave him. As if Lucius sense his dilemma he simply held Severus for several long moments before shifting his weight into an easier position to get the man on his feet. Fluid motion that was only slightly harder then it should be had both men standing and Lucius holding him firmly bent slightly forwards. Severus took a few moment to realize why he was leaning forwards. Even as the bile left his throat and splattered onto the stone beneath he did not realize he was throwing up until it was almost over. Gasping for breath as the next wave rose and left him shaking. He was violently ill for a few moments more before finally it ended. He leaned back and Lucius took his weight easily supporting the man. Severus let his head against Lucius's shoulder his eyes firmly closed so he would not see anything. 

 

Lucius flicked his wand summoning Severus's wand from the floor and tucking the hawthorn wand into his robes. He gazes again at the form of his friend. Still the panic lingers in his heart as he looks on the blood stained too pale face. He is so shocked and terrified that he has seen so much weakness in Severus's actions and responses. Or lack there of. He knows deep down that Severus is badly injured to no longer hold the cold and distant exterior he always has. In that moment the promise he made his heartbroken friend that night nearly eleven years ago rings in his ears. _'I will always watch over you Sev, I swear it. I will never let anyone hurt you again.'_ How often those words haunted him now. How easily it would be to shatter what little strength remains. Lucius has always wondered how Severus could bear so much on his shoulders and not cave under the weight. That was the truest courage he had ever known and he would protect his friend. As he had done so often. For Severus he would defy the Dark Lord. Somehow that thought didn't even disturb him as he thought it would. He had started to see the man who had promised them power and supremacy, but had only delivered fear and death. No his own loyalty had begun to waver that night when he had found Severus crumpled on the ground with the body of his one true love held tightly in his hand screaming out his grief and pain. Lost and utterly alone. The one thing Severus had begged from the Dark Lord in all those years, the only thing he had ever asked, the Dark Lord had promised, and yet he had betrayed that promise. Lucius was sickened by these thoughts as he knew his own wife and child could be next. Fear sank it's teeth deep in his heart. Could he protect them? What would he do to protect them. He looked at Severus and remembered the number of times he had taken Lucius's failures on his shoulders to spare Lucius the Dark Lords anger. How often he had stepped forward to bear the burden alone to protect Lucius and his family. His decision made he took firmer hold of his friend and slowly began the agonizing trek from the ruined cave. 

 

How beautiful it had been when they entered. Marble columns reaching into the darkness of the ceiling. Spiralling blue lights from crystals lighting every plane with sharp lights and shadows. Carvings and a small pedestal at the end. Where Severus had been when it had all shattered like glass and rained stone down upon his friend. The only reason he had not been in there was because Severus had forbidden him from entering the cave. Always protecting everyone. How had he not seen his friend's endless sacrifices? How had no one noticed the bravery of the man before him. finally clear of the cave's entrance on the wide open plateau on the mountains they had come to earlier that day. The sun kissing the tops of the trees that lay so far beneath their location. The rocky mountains making shadows around them. The beauty had struck Lucius deeply. So serene a place. He held Severus tighter and looked at the faint pale face eyes slightly open and looking up at him from where he held the man cradled to his side against his shoulder. The eyes so dark they were like endless black pits were unfocused and Lucius didn't know if he was actually aware of what was going on around him. 

 

With a deep breath he apperated them to their destination feeling the slump of weight that indicated his friend had lost his balance somewhere during the quick trip. Lucius looked at the blood stained face quickly with worry, but saw only the closed eyes and deep furrow in the brow as he slumped almost bonelessly against him. 

 

"Severus," he called in worry, needing to feel the other move. Needing the reassurance that Severus was still conscious. Slowly, too slowly, the eyes opened again. Obsidian orbs meeting his own. Lucius drew in a relieved breath and slowly began to guide his friend towards the meeting area. Using his cane to balance the weight against the pain in his left knee that threatened to buckle under their combined weight. He knew the extra weight of his too light friend was making his limp noticeable, but he did not care. As they walked he felt Severus take more and more of his weight on shaky legs. Though he kept his arm steady around the other's waist he was glad that Severus at least was starting to be able to hold his own weight for it would not do to show too much weakness to the Dark Lord even when so badly wounded. By the time they reached the gate that led up to the sprawling dead looking mansion that was once the Riddle home Severus was unsteadily walking on his own, Lucius kept close to his side to offer a steadying hand when the other wavered too much. He could see the drooping eyes and slightly bent posture. He hand cradling what must be a terribly aching head. No doubt his friend was still trying to stem the flow from the largest gash on his forehead. There were other smaller gashes through his hair. All over almost all his body as could be seen through the tares in his robes. The black hair was matted and clung to his face. So unlike the graceful Slytherin that Lucius knew so well. 

 

In no time they were entering the 'throne' room, for once Lucius was glad that his spot in the Death Eater circle was next to Severus for he could keep a steadying hand on the other's elbow when he wavered on his feet. As they joined the circle the others went silent and all eyes moved as though drawn to the scent of blood that clung to Severus. Focusing on him. On the sight he made so wounded coming into the presence of their Lord. 

 

"Ahhh Severus, you have returned to us," The hissing words escaped the creature that walked forwards more snake then man, more beast then human. It made Lucius's skin crawl and from the slight flinch he felt under his steadying hold he knew Severus felt the same. The dark obsidian eyes tried to focus on the man before them. "Step forward Severus," the Dark Lord hissed his voice dark with anger. Severus staggered forwards towards the Dark Lord knowing it was futile to argue. Knowing he could not afford to hesitate. His body trembled of it's own accord and Lucius watched with dread in his heart even as his face remained cold and impassive. This weakness was something Severus would hate were he more aware of his own predicament. He felt his own anger burn at his friends humiliation. As the Dark Lord indicated that Severus was to kneel before him. He watched as Severus slowly lowered himself painfully to the ground so he was kneeling before their master. His head unable to rise to meet the gaze that penetrated down with loathing evident on the creatures face. 

 

"Have you succeeded or do you come back in shame?" The Dark Lord demanded cruelly. A shaking hand found it's way into the black robe pockets and slowly Severus withdrew it holding out a blood red stone on his palm. His arm and hand shook unsteadily as the Dark Lord bent slightly ad pulled the stone from his open hand. Shivering the hand fell down to his side. Severus could barely keep his eyes open. "Good," hissed the Dark Lord with evidently glee on his face as he cradled the stone. His cold blood red gaze turned to Lucius with a cruel smile on his face. The ghastly sight made his skin crawl and ice slide down his spine. "Take him from my sight," a short pause as if considering something particularly interesting before he continued, "deposit him where that muggle loving fool can find him. That shall be his reward for succeeding in retrieving the stone. Maybe that fool will take mercy on him and heal his wounds." There was evil laughter that followed the words and soon the others in the circle were laughing too. Lucius felt sick at those words. This was no way to reward success. 

 

He covered his hesitation to join in the laughter with movement as he knelt by Severus's side and slowly drew him into his arms and pulled the other up turning he began the trek back out of the mansion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this first chapter. There are 40 chapters to this work. It is complete and I'll be putting up one chapter at a time so I can edit it as I go in case there's anything I want to change/add/edit/remove from it's original form.


	2. A Discovery

Lucius staggered as he apperated onto the grounds near Hogwarts. Staggered as the weight of his friend settled heavily against him. He looked down at the slack face and closed eyes. Unsteady breathing shaking the thin frame. It seemed this last apperation had been too much for Severus and he had lost consciousness. Worry gnawed at his chest as he slowly lowered the still form to the ground. Was he too late? Could he save his friend? What would he do now. He knew he could not carry Severus as far as the castle. It was just too far. Lucius's hand closed firmly around the snake head of his cane and wand he glared up at the closed gate and felt the prickling of anger dance across his skin. They were so close and yet so very far away. He knew for certain he'd not get through that gate even as one of the Governors. No Dumbledore was far to skilled to allow anyone into the school that was not expressly suppose to be there. Anger coloured his eyes as he pulled out the wand and flicked it upwards knowing that at least someone would be looking out into the darkness after all Severus had left earlier to go on his mission. Surely his absence was noticed by now. The red sparks flew high into the air where they danced for a long moment before slowly vanishing. Replacing the wand where it always rested Lucius let himself down slowly until he was kneeling besides his friend. Fingers trailed down over the cold skin of his cheek pushing away the mattered black hair. How he hated this. How he hated watching the slow breathing and not knowing if the other would wake. Was he too damage to survive?

He heard it then barely a full minute after he'd sent up his flare the quick ruffle of fabric on stone. The quick steps that resounded and broke the silence. His eyes rose from his friend to gaze at the gate as none other then Dumbledore walked forwards right through the metal without so much as a single pause. Following close to his heels was Minerva McGonagall and Hagrid barely a step behind the Headmaster. So they had come no doubt wondering if this was an attack. So be it. Lucius did not speak as he watched the Headmasters blue eyes. 

"Lucius what brings you to Hogwarts at such an hour," Albus said in his soft voice. His eyes no doubt missing the still form until Minerva gasped having caught sight of Severus and before Lucius could even utter a word her soft cry did it for him. 

"Severus!" the woman's words was pained and filled with sadness as she rushed forwards falling down next to him. Her hand gently touching the blood stained face. "What has happened?" She asked of Lucius with cold piercing eyes filled with anger and worry. 

"I will explain, but he needs to be seen to first. Take him and I will explain," Lucius said smoothly not allowing his own panic or worry to tinge his cold voice. Drawing himself up off the ground to stand tall. His robes cleaned instantly with a quick nonverbal wandless spell. He looked every inch the aristocrat he was as he faced Albus. 

Albus for his part let his gaze take in the still form before he nodded to Minerva and Hagrid stepped forwards to gingerly lift the man from the ground. The two swiftly vanished towards the castle while Lucius focused his gaze on Albus's dancing eyes. That damnable twinkling making him want to lash out at the man. Albus always had that damnable gleaming in his eyes that seemed as if he knew what everyone was thinking before they could think it themselves. How aggravating. 

"Why are you here Lucius?" Albus asks again this time his voice is harder, but it does not match that twinkle in his eyes. Lucius cannot help the scowl that covers his otherwise aristocratic features. 

"I came to insure that Severus survived this night," Lucius states simply in a cold detached voice. His words reflecting decorum and an aloofness he did not feel. He felt fear gripping his heart at the thought of his friends death. That was his greatest fear. Now that he had grown to know Severus so closely he feared loosing that connection and it deeply frightened him. 

"There is more then what you say to this, but perhaps a quieter and calmer location for this discussion is in order," Albus says almost to himself. Lucius wonders if the man is a doddering old fool or merely hiding that razor sharp intellect he knows lies behind the crazy robes and twinkling eyes. There has to be a reason the Dark Lord fears Albus so. A pause before the elder male continues, "Will you join me for tea Lucius?"

"After you," Lucius replies with a dismissive wave of his hand towards the gate. What is the old man playing at he has to wonder. An invitation to tea seems so odd in this instant. Albus settled a firm hand over his shoulder and begins to lead him through the still closed gate. He does not hesitate as he matches the elder man's steps. 

"Just a precaution, one cannot be too careful now a days," Albus says absently as they cross the gate and he lets his arm fall away from Lucius's shoulder. Lucius just nods. No reason to respond to that and silently the two make their way up to the school. The soft summer wind hitting cold skin. Lucius did not realize how cold he had felt until that warm wind began to warm him. Was it possible that he had actually been afraid for himself and his family as well? No surely not. The Dark Lord had sent him here, there was no way he could turn to his family now? He wouldn't? The worry gnawed at his stomach and he couldn't suppress the shiver that danced across his flesh. He would have to be quick here. He needed to get home to insure his family was safe. Once he knew Severus was safe, once this abysmal tea was taken care of. He knew that Albus had questions. He knew he would need to answer them, but for now he was worried about other things. 

Their trek up to the Headmasters office was quick. He regarded the paintings behind the old man and couldn't help but wonder if any of those would tell his secrets. They had not revealed Severus's thus far, Lucius was certain of that, but perhaps this risk was one too many. Doubt clouded his mind as he settled in the offered seat across from the headmaster accepting the cup a moment later as it was handed to him. Black just like he liked his tea. He leaned back resting his legs and sore muscles from the excursion tonight. 

"Why did you bring Severus here Lucius?" Albus asked, no doubt knowing that Lucius wished to be done this meeting as soon as possible. 

"I vowed to keep him safe," was the simple and true answer. Albus seemed taken aback that he would be so open and honest here. Lucius let a cold smile grace his features. Proud that he had managed to surprise the old man. 

"How far does that vow extend?" Curiosity tinged the words and Lucius knew the true question Albus asked. Was he going to betray Severus to the Dark Lord. 

"I will not become a spy like Severus clearly has, but nor am I loyal as I once was," Lucius admitted with cold truthful words. He didn't know why he was trusting Albus outside of Severus evidently trusted this man, that would be enough for now. 

"I would not ask you to spy for me," Albus states, and it is the truth. Lucius meets those blue eyes and knows why instantly. It is to protect Draco. That much is evident. Somehow that surprises Lucius on a level he didn't know he could be taken aback. The man continues, "but I would ask that you watch over Severus, it is clear he needs someone within the ranks to protect him when I cannot." Albus admitted the words and this meeting became all too surreal for Lucius. This wasn't what he had expected. There was too much care in those words. Worry. Could what Severus had hinted at be true then? Could Albus be the reason he had escaped his father's wrath in his sixth year? Could that really be the truth? If so why had Severus still remained dark. Why hadn't he drawn away from the dark earlier? Lucius didn't know, but one day he would find out. 

"That is my intention," Lucius replied, "I have been here too long already. I must be on my way, might I check that he is in good hands before I leave?" Lucius inquired softly as he rose to his full height. His tea only half finished the cup coming to rest on it's saucer on the desk that separated them. 

"Of course," Albus replied rising and with a wave of his hand indicating that he would take him. The two fell into silence again as they walked down through the office and silent hallways as the clock chimed midnight. They reached the Hospital Wing with quick steps and a comfortable silence settling over them. As the doors were pushed open Lucius was quick to notice that Severus was not in the main section. For a moment worry marked his brow as he hesitated until he realized that Albus was headed towards the back door where a few private rooms were located. A sigh of relief almost escaped his lips as he quickly made his way towards the door which Albus held open for him. A few strides into the room and he found the open door to Severus's room. He lay still in the bed with two witches by his side. Satisfied Lucius nodded and turned to leave.

* * *

Severus slowly began to wake up. Blinking at the harsh light that seemed to be coming from all around him. His head was aching horribly, but the rest of the pain seemed to be dim compared to what he had felt upon waking. However, his thoughts were still fuzzy and he could barely remember what had happened to land him here. It took all his strength, but he slowly managed to rise until he was sitting leaning back against the wall and headboard of the bed he was in. The hospital wing then. He blinked the blurriness from his eyes as he looked around finally finding the figure by the bed who was seemingly lost in thought as those blue eyes gazed out towards the far wall not even having noticed how Severus was awake and sitting up. A smirk curved his lips before he let himself rest against the wall. His eyes closing once more as he tried to piece together what exactly had happened.

"Severus, you're awake," came a bright female voice and he cringed at the jovial tone. Poppy no doubt and he was not in the mood to be coddled right now. He opened his eyes and gave her one of his glowers that if his head had not been so horribly painful would have been one of his more scathing looks. 

"So it would seem," he replied darkly. Sarcasm dripping from the words. 

"I see your attitude hasn't suffered any," Poppy noted wryly clearly amused at his dark mood. How he hated that she could just ignore what make others afraid of getting on his dark side. How he wished his scathing glowers and sneers of derision would sink into her and make her leave him to his own devices. If only. Albus seemed to come back to himself during this exchange and his eyes found the black obsidian orbs. 

"It is good to see you awake, my boy," Albus said also too jovially for Severus's pain darkened mood. 

"What happened?" He asked, trying to divert the conversation to something besides being fussed over like he knew Poppy longed to do. Glaring at her, daring her to say anything about his current position. 

"A good question, my boy, one I was going to ask you," Albus began with a bright twinkling eyed smile that set Severus to glaring even harder at the man. "However, I take it that you mean how you ended up here. Well it seems that you got into a spot of trouble, my boy, and Lucius was kind enough to bring you here."

Those words made his breath catch as his glare turned into a scowl. Lucius. Lucius had found him. Like this. The memories began to flood back in quick succession of confusion. The Dark Lord had the stone. No the Dark Lord had the fake stone. He still had the stone. Lucius had been worried. Lucius had brought him here. Lucius had saved him. Did that mean he could trust Lucius fully? He didn't know, but he felt afraid that his secret alliance that was so condemning to the Dark Lord's cause would be exposed. No surely Lucius wouldn't do that to him. Not after... He couldn't think of that so he forced himself to ask his next question.

"Where is Lucius now?" Severus asked his voice just as cold, but his eyes were filled with fear and doubt.

"Home," Albus answered simply. "Safe," he added at the silent pleading in the black eyes. There was a long pause before Albus asked the question that was prevalent in his mind. "Did you get the stone?"

"Yes," Severus stated simply his hands slowly reaching into his pockets pulling out the blood stained red stone he had retrieved and almost lost his life to obtain. He looked into the blood red depths for a long moment before he held it out towards Dumbledore. Albus gave him a gentle smile and gently took the stone from him. 

"You have done good, my boy, rest now you can tell me what happened when you are healed," Albus said gently guiding the suddenly exhausted man down into his bed. Severus would have protested the treatment, but truth was he was exhausted and desiring nothing more then a night of rest and sleep. His eyes ached from the light and his head was far too painful to be conductive to speaking much less thinking clearly. He did not even know if it was day or night, but as soon as he was lying down once more his eyes closed slowly and sleep took him into the warm darkness.


	3. Unwanted Responsibilities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have given up trying to edit this story before re-posting it. It's making me fall behind in updating my stories due to life getting in the way. So what I am going to do is post this story as is. Then when I have time and I've finished up a few of my outstanding stories (as I would like to transfer all my Niaf stories here as well) then I will come back and edit this story before continuing it into story two. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy. I will be posting all remaining chapters today that way it will be complete.

It had been a few long weeks of absolute silence that found Severus leaning back in the plush armchair of his grand library in his home in Spinners End. A place he had hated in his childhood, a place that still held too many memories if he allowed those to surface, but since it had become his after his father's all too bloody end he had made it entirely different to what the house had been when he was younger. Of course now he owned many more properties to this one and used this one only as his formal residence keeping his more lucrative mansions secret and hidden even from those he trusted most. His secret shelter away from all of this. The house at Spinners End was really more of a giant library with hardly a room without shelves lined with heavy tombs collected over a lifetime. Or several if one were honest these books were not all collected by Severus. Many had belonged to his mother before him hidden away in the attic only to be discovered by a young man hiding amongst the spiders and cobwebs of the attic to avoid the painful reunions with his father. His eyes darted about the page relaxed and absorbing information as he had been so well known for doing in the dark corners of the common room when he was at Hogwarts in his younger days. Always found with his nose pressed into a book. Learning. Today he was reading a particularly engrossing book on ancient potions that were long forgotten hopping to find some new research to take his mind off what had so recently transpired. That he had yet to be called before the Dark Lord once more was more troubling then the fact Lucius had not spoken to him since that night. For that matter it was these very worries that had led him to seek out Spinners End as his home away from Hogwarts as the holidays drew to a close. 

He was just about to contemplate calling one of his House Elves to prepare him dinner when he heard the charm he had around his Flow sound announcing that someone was requesting his presence. Evidently one of the few who held the passcode to enter. That meant either Lucius or Albus. He rose to his feet and headed down the too tight narrow stairway to the hidden door and pressed his palm upon the wood at the back of the antique bookcase causing it to push open and reveal his sitting room the only room visible from the main entrance to the two story home. He made his way towards the glowing green fire and looked down into the face of Albus.

"My boy, you are indeed here, mind if I come thought?" Albus said cheerfully and Severus scowled. How could the old man think he had not been here when he had specifically told him he would be here was beyond Severus. He simply nodded and waited for the older man to step through it did not take long. He indicated the two chairs on either side of the fireplace. The walls like every other room was lined with priceless books even the tables were stacked precariously with books. To say that Severus had too many books would be an understatement, but if you were to ask him he would tell you that one could never have too many books. He settled into his chair regarding Albus as the older man dusted himself and settled into the chair. His rich lavender robes garishly bright in the dark tones of ebony and black furniture that occupied the room. 

"Firewhisky?" Severus inquired indicating the decanter and tumblers set on a silver trail above the fireplace on the mantle. 

"No, thank you, I will take tea if you have it?" Albus asked instead. Severus merely nodded and rose from his seat heading to yet another hidden passage behind another bookcase down a few steps and into the kitchen. He could have called a house elf, but he preferred to make the tea himself. Sometimes even when he had the creatures at his beck and call he couldn't be bothered with ordering them about he simply wanted the pleasure of cooking for himself. He did after enjoy cooking not that he would readily admit that to anyone after all he had his pride and Lucius had taught him how a proper Lord was to act. Oh how he loathed those lessons. They had however deepened his friendship with Narcissa which he was grateful for. She was after all very beautiful woman underneath the cold and haughty exterior. Something to think on later. Severus slowly took the kettle and lit the wood beneath the stove. Going over to the sink as the fire took and heated he filled the kettle with water not having noticed the door opening until he hear the familiar pop and felt the air stir. Kettle still in hand he whirled wand held ready having slipped from his sleeve into his hand almost unconsciously. It was only Albus watching with curious eyes. He slid his wand back into it's holster and returned to his task. Finishing filling the kettle he walked over to the stove pleased to note the fire was burning bright and steady he set the kettle upon it and walked over to one of his many cupboards and slowly pulling it open. Revealing an almost insanely neat and organized space that would make the best obsessive proud. He quickly glanced at the near labels on the glass containers not unlike the ones he kept his potion ingredients in pulling out the one he wanted. His neat and tight script written on the white label revealing the ingredients within the tea mix only in their full plant name since he wouldn't have dared label them any other way even this was just a common tea mix he could not shake the potion master's habit. 

He set the glass jar down and took out two cups before he opened the jar and let the fragrant aroma of the crushed dried leaves waft through the small space. Albus watched him all the while as Severus delicately measured out exact amounts of the mix into each cup. It always fascinated the older man just how precise and disciplined the other was when he touched ingredients weather they be something as simple as tea or as complex as a potion. There was an air of pleasure mixed with deliberation and precision to his every fluid movement. A slight furrow of concentration his brow and a window into the otherwise stern and cold man. It was these very characteristics that had marked the other as the youngest potions master of the century. Something Severus held with pride. Finished he put the lid back on the jar carefully making sure it was perfectly placed before returning it to it's exact spot on the shelf. By this time the water was almost boiling and it wouldn't be a long wait. Silence filled the room, but it was a comfortable silence. Albus always enjoyed these small peaceful moments knowing how rare they were for the other. 

When the water had finally boiled he took the kettle and poured the water into each cup before setting the kettle and remaining water to cool off to the side before extinguishing the fire and taking hold of one of the cups handing it to Albus before taking his own and with a quick wave of his hand indicating they should return to the sitting room. Severus settled in his chair once more letting his legs stretch out as he held his cup in his hands letting the warmth warm his cool skin. Albus had also settled himself, but he had found a single clear space on the table to settle his cup while a tray of sugar and cream appeared in the air before him. Smiling brightly the elder wizard slowly put the three lumps of sugar into his tea to which Severus frowned severely before he poured a small measure of cream. Severus took his black preferring the rich flavour of the spices that his own home grown herbs always held. As soon as Albus finished the tray vanished and Albus raised his cup to his lips tasting what must be an awfully sweat tea and Severus shivered again revolted at the very concept. 

Albus's gaze refocused onto Severus and for a long moment they sat in silence drinking tea and meeting each other's gaze. Silently contemplating this meeting. Severus knew what it was about. Minerva had cornered him not so long ago about this and he had managed to dodger her pestering and retreat here. Glad for the silence he had known it was only a matter of time before he was contacted again this time he knew it would be Albus, a man he could not so easily brush away. He couldn't help the sigh that escaped his lips. 

"I know why your here," he said before Albus could start some warble about some inane topic he did not desire to be lectured on. Having no patience for this conversation to begin with. 

"Then you know what I am going to ask," Albus stated. Severus just glared intently at him. A heated glance that should have frozen the other man's words, but it had no affect what so ever on Albus who just smiled knowingly, "are you going to make this easy?" he asked finally the rest of the statement was clear; or are you going to make it hard. 

"I am not going," he stated simply refusing to be bothered with a long winded discussion that would end in the same thing. He was adamant and his voice was rigid and cold. There was not a hint of sarcasm he was simply beyond that at this point. His voice held nothing but cold barely contained anger. 

"Severus be reasonable," Albus said patiently and the dark eyed man before him narrowed his gaze dangerously. 

"I am being quite reasonable. I am not going near that child!" his words were dark and angry. Coloured with a past hatred that Albus knew the source of and felt the sting of his words. He knew why Severus was so angry. Knew why this was being such a problem when sending him to the Dark Lord to spy was not. Severus was remembering the Mauranders and more specifically his nemesis James Potter. Albus would always regret how he had turned a blind eye to the young man before him and the suffering he had endured both from their torment and bullying and his own father's abuse. How he would always hate that he had not ended any of it sooner. It was however, too little too late as they say, but there was something wrong in the Dursley household Albus just knew it. If what Hagrid had reported was indeed the case then Severus was the best person to see beyond a shadow of a doubt what was really happening there. The man knew the signs better then anyone and Albus was worried he had left the small child with a family who had treated him about as good as Severus's own father had. Something that did not sit well with the old man.

"Severus," Albus began and for once Severus felt dread at the man's next words. He had seen the twinkling die in Albus's eyes and the hard cold edge filter into those blue eyes and he knew, this was not going to end well for him. "I merely ask that you escort him to the station and onto the train. Take a look at him Severus. Insure he is indeed the spoiled child you assume he is. That's all I ask." Albus hated how he was using Severus's own words against him, but he needed the man to do this. Severus glared at him. 

"If I agree you will never speak of this again?" Severus stated bluntly. Cold. Dispassionate. Annoyed. Close to that unbreakable anger that Albus knew well to avoid. 

"Yes," Albus replied truthfully. If Severus found nothing wrong then he would let the matter rest. Severus thought this through for a long moment before he nodded sourly his face scowling angrily at Albus who smiled warmly, "thank you, my boy." He finished rising and Severus glared intently at him, "I shall take my leave now dear boy," Albus stated setting his empty cup down. Severus finished his tea rising without another word. He picked up the ornate box he kept his flow powder in off the mantle and held it open for Albus waiting for the other to depart. His anger barely controlled as it was he did not speak. Neither did Albus as he took a handful of powder and threw it into the fireplace calling for his own office in Hogwarts before quickly departing leaving an angry and scowling Potions Master glaring a whole into back of the now empty fireplace. 

Low grumbles emanated from the dark eyed man as he turned swiftly on his heels and stormed off up into his library seeking the peace he had craved and found only moments before Albus had come into his home making him do what he had adamantly refused so many times over the last two weeks. Now his anger threatened to boil over as he paced angrily in the library book forgotten after only a few aimless moments of attempted reading. He had not succeeded in settling his mind enough to absorb himself into the words on the pages. He let the book fall back on the chair forgotten and paced. He needed to brew. The calming meticulous and structured work would calm him and with that thought he descended down the winding stairways behind yet another bookcase into the very subbasement where his potions lab was here. The same dark dungeon like feel as his private lab in Hogwarts with the same neatly organized shelves holding only the best ingredients most of them meticulously grown, cultivated and harvested by his own hands. Severus let the small smirk curve his lips as he drew down the recipe for a few simple pain relieving potions he set to work on stocking up his personal store and the Infirmary at Hogwarts.


	4. Uncertain Unsettling Unknowns

September first came far too soon for Severus and he was left distinctly grumpy at being awake at the ungodly hour of two am. He had been dreaming of a long ago day this exact day actually when he had been a young child just about to go to Hogwarts. His send off had been anything but pleasant and he could still to this day feel the bruises on his ribs and the sprain to his wrist that had resulted from the beating his father had decided was a fitting send off to remind him what would happen to his mother if he wasn't careful. Severus shivered in the too early hour and sat up unnerved by his own thoughts. Why this year he felt the need to relive these memories he had no idea. He figured it was because of the fear and belief Minerva had that the Potter brat was being mistreated by his aunt and uncle. Something that wouldn't surprise Severus of Petunia from when he'd known that woman from his own childhood. However, her own flesh and blood that he had a hard time believing after all the boy was the famous Harry Potter not like she'd want it broadcast to the whole world what a horrible being she was. No she'd want the fame as much as the spoiled child. His thoughts dark and only getting darker Severus knew he had to quiet his mind before his temper got the better of him. Sleep was not an option now so he rose from the bed and slowly went to shower.

A long hot shower later and he was dressed in his black teaching robes with his thick over-robes that gave him his fated reputation as 'overgrown bat of the dungeon', the 'greasy git' reputation was simply the result of countless hours spent in a potion lab. So few realized the physical cost to being brilliant at potions. All the fumes that clung to him. The residues of ingredients that changed his very scent. He let a small smirk curve his features at the sudden change in his thoughts. He always did love his reputation. That feared by all except his precious Slytherins. Even they dare not cross him. His presence enough to instil quiet in a classroom. His soft dangerous tones enough to insure he captured their wavering attention. As much as he hated most of the children and never wanted one of the squalid creatures as his own he did enjoy the art of teaching. He was so deeply passionate of his subject. Yes, he was amazing with his wand and spells and could do wonders with them too, it was the subtle and silent arts of potions that truly owned his blackened heart. 

Gazing at his appearance in the glass pleased that the black accented his black eyes and the pallor of his skin had not darkened by the length of time he'd spent in the sun over the summer caring for his numerous greenhouses and gardens. How he had loved the quiet of all his various gardens. The quiet herbology required for the growth and care of his precious ingredients. Truly plants were far better company then people. 

Severus scoffed at his own meandering thoughts and wandered over to the small door that opened from his bedroom into the grand library. Finding the book he had almost finished reading and the project outline he had begun those few weeks ago he settled down in his chair satisfied that it would be a fitting way to spend the last hours. He would read the remainder of the book as the house elves made him a grand breakfast before he returned to Hogwarts. They were always so damn sentimental when he left it was atrocious. He couldn't however bring himself to make his displeasure known as he did not desire to see them punish themselves for no reason. He was after all simply uncomfortable with their displays of sentimentality that he refused to allow himself to feel. 

Pulling the book open at the marked page he settled in to finish the final chapter. In a few hours time he done reading and finishing up breakfast having packed a few other books and his notes which completed the last of his research project, his lesson plans and a few extra curricular teaching lessons in case any should show him this year that they were worthy of his private tutelage and time. He was sitting in the sitting room with a cup of tea as he looked up at the clock and noticed it was only five am. Well maybe the boy would be awake this early after all he was quite set on getting to Hogwarts on time after all he had to settle his chambers one final time to insure they were perfect for when classes started. Rising he set the cup down and looked about one final time.

"Aster," he called darkly. Letting a little too much of his emotions bleed into his cold tone. The Elf appeared before him bowing low looking frightened by his tone. He let the anger bleed away and quieted his next words, "thank you for a splendid breakfast and a most wonderful stay these last few weeks. I am departing for Hogwarts today, I will not be due to return until christmas break. Please make sure that you take time to enjoy your much earned vacation." The elf bowed very low glowing with pride at his words and without waiting for an answer knowing his elves rarely did answer as he preferred them not to and they all knew it. He took his three trunks and shrunk them settling them along the few precious bottles of potions in his pockets and headed out locking the door behind him. He walked down the deserted street towards the woods near the playground where he had played with Lily as a child before he apperated to the closest location to number 4 Private Drive he knew and swiftly made his way through the streets completely heedless that he was dressed in his teaching robes and not in muggle clothing. Of course it was still too dark out for anyone to see the nearly black spectre walking with a black cloak and hood drawn up concealing his pale face down the street. A half smile curving his lips at the shock he would be to the muggles in the house he was headed for. He had heard rumours they hated anything out of the ordinary and he was quite odd. A deep perverted pleasure at this make the smirk upon his lips blossom and he looked almost deadly. Oh what a sight he would be.

He was on their front porch before he knew it and his hand had risen to sharply rap on the door. A disgruntled noise could be heard from upstairs and he rapped hard against the door one more time. Punctuating the sound with the sharp rap of knuckle against wood. Letting the wood feel how he did not wish to be here. 

"Alright no need to break the door I'm coming!" A male voice hollered from inside punctuated by a sharp, "get breakfast started boy!" in a distinctly disgruntled and angry tone. Clearly this man was not a morning person. Good neither was he. The door was wrenched open and the too large man looked up into the black obsidian eyes and fear became the evident emotion covering the horrid face of the muggle before him as he took a step back. Severus just glared at the man.

"It is polite to invite company inside," Severus stated sarcastically as he walked uninvited into the man's home and closed the door clearly the man was left spluttering with no words to say. Good Severus was in no mood for discussing anything with this muggle. "Where is Harry Potter," He demanding waisting no more time in his demands. 

"Ki-kitchen," the large man stuttered. A loud banging from the stairs drew the dark obsidian eyes and a large fat child with a pigs tail screamed and ran back upstairs to which Severus smirked. Clearly someone had decided the boy needed to be taught a lesson, he wondered if it was the Potter child, no the magic he had sense slightly did not have the correct irregularities of accidental magic. He had felt this particular strange signature before. Hagrid then. Interesting. Not bothering to care what had happened there he walked into the kitchen and froze at the sight. A far too thin eleven year old boy was struggling to cook breakfast in clothing that was clearly way too large for him. 

"Potter!" Severus thundered and to his complete horror his voice was enough to cause the child to scream and drop the pan he had just been picking up. Bacon and grease plashed everywhere and the child screamed again in pain before standing stock still in his mess while the sound of clattering iron resonated through the room. The child stared at him with fear marking his every feature and his eyes far too big. Breathing far to fast. Something was not right here. He had always had the effect of scaring students, but the level of terror he saw in that face and in those green eyes was something entirely too well known. A woman's sharp shrieks pierced the silence that had fallen and he turned with a murderous expression to face an angry Petunia who was screaming about the boy being a freak and making a mess of her precious kitchen and waisting their Duddykins food. Severus narrowed hate filled eyes on the sister to the one woman who haunted his every thought. Always so close to the centre of his thoughts. The same green eyes that had been filed with fear facing him a moment ago had been on his Lily's beautiful face and they had went straight to his heart. There in that baggy clothing and fearful expression with those green eyes he did not see his nemesis Potter, but he saw a small scared child who had suffered at the hands of those who should love him. How much had that child suffered? Why were there bruises on the thin exposed shoulder and the side of his face?

"ENOUGH!" He all but shouted in a voice so laced with venom and cold that the woman before him cowered away and fell instantly silence. Her moth snapping shut. "Now," Severus said in barely controlled rage into the silence, "I am here to collet Potter, I presume even Muggles such as yourselves are aware that he is to attend Hogwarts?" He said the words with a vicious sneer towards the woman. She backed up and couldn't seem to speak. Satisfied that he had cowed her he turned to the frightened child who had backed up into a corner his eyes darting about looking no doubt for a place to hide of run. "It's alright child I won't hurt you," Severus said gentling his tone into the soft voice he used with his Snakes when he discovered that they were being harmed. "I am just here to take you to school. I am Professor Snape, I will be your Potions Professor at Hogwarts, now come child so I can see to your burns." 

He held out his hand gently towards the frightened boy who seemed to have calmed down significantly at his reassurance, how odd. He wondered if this had to do with Hagrid's earlier visit. No matter. He did not have to wait long before a timid boy walked up to him not meeting his gave, but not pulling away either. As he gently took the child's hand he was even more disturbed by the sudden flinch of the child at the simples of touch. He, Severus Snape, hated physical contact with a passion and made that fact abundantly known, but he did not flinch away like this child when touched. No this was something entirely different. This spoke of the fear that lay in that child. It worried him. He pulled back the greasy sleeves to expose the scars on his arms that indicated previous wounds. What would scar a child so? One so young should not have these layers of scars. He was all too aware of his own scars in that moment, from his father. His eyes narrowed as he slowly took out the burn slave from his pocket and gently applied in to his hands and arms where the grease had splattered when it had been dropped in fear. Finished with both hands he replaced the jar in his pocket and gently lifted the child's chin so that he was eye to eye with the boy. 

"Do you have any other clothing?" He inquired. The child shook his head and Severus was left frowning in annoyance. This wouldn't do. "Alright, is your trunk packed and ready to go?" A nod. "Good show me where it is so I might shrink it, it seems we must make a quick trip to muggle London before we are to board the train. I cannot have you dressed like this for your first trip to Hogwarts now can I." Severus stated simply releasing the child and stepping back. The boy took one quick terrified look at the black clad man not daring to speak what was evidently on his mind. Severus knew what worried the child, but only smirked, a truly terrifying expression on the cold face as he faced Petunia and saw the fear in her features. Good his presence was intimidating them into silence. That is what he wanted he followed the child up the stairs to a room that clearly was not meant for him at the level of broken toys and lack of personal items. He frowned. 

"Gather all that is yours, you will not be returning here," Severus doesn't know what possessed him to say the words and the boy is evidently startled, but he has seen enough. He knows these signs. The way the child flinches at every loud noises. The way he tries to hide and avoids being exposed and in the middle of a room. The way terror that should not have been there even at his particularly startling presence had manifested itself at his snapping call. The way the boy had reacted to his aunts yelling, he had seen enough. He would not leave Lily's child here. The child simply stared at him gaping. 

"Wh-what?" He asked clearly frightened. Severus sighed and prayed for patience as he was not well known to have it outside of the potion lab.

"It is clear that you are not being fairly treated here Potter I am not going to allow you to remain here now that you are to begin Hogwarts a suitable home will be found for you," was all Severus replied and it was enough the boy gulped audibly and began to gather only one other item from the room which he quickly slipped into his trunk and then proceeded to grab the owl cage in his hands looking positively terrified and vulnerable. Severus waved his wand shrunk the trunk bending he picked it up and slid it into another pocket before turning to the child with a flick of his wand he transfigured the clothing the boy wore into something a little more appropriate and fitting of the child. A simple grey long sleeve t-shirt and jeans. He then flicked his wand to himself and transfigured his robes into black jeans and a black t-shirt and long black seater. Good. That would do. One last smirk at the awe struck child gazing at the clothing that suddenly fit him and he indicated it was time to go. The child quickly grabbed his hand which startled Severus almost to the point of being silent. His face showed his sudden shock as he went absolutely still as he always did at physical contact and he saw the fear on the boy's face.

"I-I'm sorry," the child stuttered quickly dropping his hand and backing away. Severus had to take a long breath before he knelt before the child and gently placed two hands on the child's shoulders ignoring the flinch. 

"It's fine child, I was not expecting it that is all," Severus reassure the boy in that same strange soft voice that seemed so odd for the cold man. He rose and held out his hand to the child who gave him a scared little smile before taking his hand and they were off. He took the cage from the child's hand noting how big it was when cradled in only one uncertain hand. He carried it easily from the handle at the top the owl seemed content to hoot happily at him before settling down preening. This done Severus led the child downstairs and without a single word spoke quickly existed the house. Once outside and a little ways down the street he made sure they were not observed before he flicked his wand conjuring a patronus with a simple message for Albus before he looked to the child. 

"I suppose we should call a cab to take us to a department store in London, I don't beleive you know what Apparration is do you child?" Severus asked the child shook his head and Severus nodded. He would not do that to the child today then. "Do you know where there would be a phone we could use?" He inquired of the child who pointed to the end of the street where a convenience store sat. Satisfied Severus began leading the child there. All in all Severus seemed to handle the muggle world well and managed to get them into a cab and driving down towards Muggle London. Glad that he had remembered to exchange some of his gold into muggle money Severus leaned back to enjoy the ride. 

It did not take overly long before they reached the store he had wanted to go to and they were getting out. He led the boy into the store noting how the child looked around, but asked for nothing. Severus sighed. He knew this behaviour all too well. It made his chest ache with half remembered memory. Stopping he turned to the boy and met his gaze. Having cast a notice me not charm on the owl they were completely ignored. 

He knelt before the child and asked softly, "what clothing do you own?" 

"My robes, all the stuff for school," he stated softly and Severus heard the words that were not spoke. Nodding he looked at the boy being a fairly observant person he figured the boy's probably size and headed down the isles gathering sets of t-shirts, sweaters, jeans and trousers, underwear and socks. Satisfied he was beginning to head towards the register when he noticed the child's eyes drift towards the stuffed animals on display and instead led the boy that way. The child just stood ram rod stiff next to him and that perturbed him more. He gazed at the child wondering what toy the boy would like. It was evident from his downcast gaze and stiff posture that asking the child would get him no where. All throughout the shopping so far Severus had been loosing patience with the child's lack of response and been fighting to keep his temper under control. With a deep sigh he looked at the shelves and spotted a rather lovely red snake. Smirking he grabbed the plushy and handed it to the child beside him who stared at him in absolute shock. 

"That isn't necesa-" the boy began. Severus simply held up a hand. 

"Enough, yes it is now come on," Severus said rather out of patience. He gently pushed the boy towards the cash to get him moving the child was looking at him slack jawed and confused by the deep scowl on his face, but the tone of his voice had been gentle and soft. He knew the child no doubt had zero idea how to react to him. No matter. He stopped at the cast and paid for the item. The way the child was clinging the toy tight to his chest as though he was afraid it would be removed Severus knew better then to even suggest he hand the toy over to the woman at the cash so instead he simply lifted the child and held him as the woman scanned the tag before he set the child back on his startled feat. He had picked up two sets of shoes for the child that were being placed in the bag. He stopped the woman and asked her to remove the tags on the one pair and had Harry sit and put them on while he paid for everything. The child did not even argue with the demand from his teacher. So different was this child then what he had expected that Severus had no idea what to make of the boy before him. 

Satisfied he headed out to the alleyway with the child after calling another cab to take them to Kings Cross station only this time Severus took out the boy's trunk and unshrunk it placing the bags of purchases inside before closing and latching the lid. He placed a silent feather light charm on the trunk lifted it up and carried it out of the alley setting it back on the ground and removing the charm as he rose to his full height. A moment later the cab arrived they got the trunk into the boot and settled back into the back for the drive to Kings Cross the child clinging to his toy tightly and sitting still as stone next to Severus, too quiet and too still for one so young. How odd. He felt burning anger inside of him at looking over at the eleven year old child beside him. A child who should have been loved and doted upon. A child everyone knew his name, who was famous because he had survived the killing curse. He had known the child didn't know anything of their world, but to see the child so attached to a single toy as if it was the first he'd ever had broke his heart and Severus was not even sure he had had a heart left to break. 

Sickened he had to keep from contemplating just what the child would have had to suffer to become so still and unnaturally quiet for one so young. He did not want to know. Not yet anyways. His temper was already frayed it wouldn't do to expose it to something that would only make him explode. Not around this particular child. 

They arrived at Kings Cross and Severus was pleased when the cabby got them a trolley and helped him lift the child's trunk onto it. Pushing the trolley once again holding the child's hand he quickly made his way towards the platform Harry staring in awe around him as he led the way. The boy holding his hand. The child stopped dead in his track as he began to head straight towards the barrier between platform nine and ten. He stopped when he felt the pressure on his arm. He turned to look at the terror on the child's face. He knelt before the boy. 

"It's going to be ok. We are going to go straight at the barrier and it will open for us. You have nothing to be scared," Severus said softly. The boy looked at him hugging the stuffed toy closer to himself as he starred in fear at Severus. "Do you want me to carry you?" Severus offered. Not only was he quite irritated at the delay knowing they were nearing being late, but he was also at a loss for what to do with the child. He had to get him on the train. At the boy's faint nod Severus took him up into his arms settled him on his hip and pushed the cart forwards with one hand as the boy buried his head into his shoulder. They were through quickly and he set the child down as soon as they had cleared the barrie. Awed eyes scanned the room around them and with a flick of his wand Severus transfigured his robes back into their normal appearance before he took the child's hand in his and started heading towards the train. Gathering the child up he set him on the train and took the trunk after a quick feather light spell was applied. He led the boy to the nearest open compartment stored his trunk instructed him to change into his robes as soon as possible received and owed nod and a mumbled thank you. He left the child there settling into the compartment quickly removing his robes from his trunk before he left the train. He was please to note that the child was removing his new clothing to change into as well as the spell that had transfigured his clothing wouldn't last long. The child settled Severus returned to the platform. Running into Lucius who was standing beside Narcissa who was tearfully waving good-bye to her son who was running up to his friends. Severus paused catching the curious glance from Lucius he headed over towards his friend.


	5. Knowledge and Power

Severus silently walked up to the Malfoys until he stood next to Narcissa who did not appear to see him until Lucius spoke. Then she turned her gaze to meet his briefly nodding before returning to waving good-bey to her Draco. Though it was quite evident that Draco was talking with Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini rather then looking at his mother. 

"Severus," Lucius said as way of greeting offering a smile to the younger male. Severus nodded respectfully pulled out his wand and with a quick nonverbal spell set up the privacy wards around them. 

"Please remain within the boundaries of the spell that we may speak openly," Severus stated as he would in class, his voice authoritative and quiet. His tone even and devoid of any emotion. Just like his usual cold and calculating exterior. Narcissa looked startled at his words and cast her eyes up to him again with a frown. No doubt wondering what the man could possibly have to say that required wards of all things. Lucius just chucked knowing that Severus and Paranoia went hand in hand. The man detested being overheard in private conversation even if the topic was mundane. Same old Severus, was Lucius's predominant thought, but he none the less gave an affirmative nod that he would not move beyond Severus's spell. After all that damn spell hurt when it sapped you and Lucius had no interest in feeling it's sting again. Why the man felt the need to have the spell shock anyone who drew near or drew away from the conversation circle was something Lucius hadn't figured out no doubt the wizard had his reasons. What they were however was anyone's guess. 

Narcissa raised a quizzical eyebrow to him, but Lucius was the one to break the long silence that had fallen. Typical Severus, set up wards to spell privacy then fall into silence and just stand there. If Lucius didn't know better he'd assume the man was really that anti-social. 

"What pray tell are you doing here?" Lucius inquired. For after all it was quite unusual for Severus to be on the platform since usually he was with the other teachers already at Hogwarts. 

For a long moment Severus regarded his friend. Wondering how much to trust Lucius. He knew he owed his life to the man and the Headmaster had told him of their conversation, reassured him that Lucius was to be trusted. He had vowed to Narcissa already to watch over Draco and keep him safe. Draco would be one of his snakes of that he had no doubt at all. The only question that remained was just how solid was this friendship and how far could he afford to trust. His eyes met the platinum eyes of his friend. After Lily, Lucius had been his oldest friend. The man had practically raised him in a sense. The older brother he'd never had. Narcissa who had been a year younger then him had been the only thing that had made Sirius Black her cousin bearable for those two years after Lucius discovered the torment in his first year and Narcissa got to know him through Lucius. He owed them much, but it was the lives of not only himself but countless other people he held in his hands. If he trusted Lucius and the man betrayed him he not be the only one to pay the cost. He would damn sure try to be, but he knew that by trusting he opened up the possibilities of betrayal. Severus was always paranoid of trusting another. In fact he never really fully trusted. Not until Albus. Now, now he was learning that he could trust fully in someone, but dare he extend that to Lucius. As those questions swam in his mind and his eyes searched his friend he could feel that Lucius knew he was seeking reassurance and the two Malfoys remained silent, watching him for long moments. Waiting for him to respond or choose to ignore the question. 

Lucius knew that this moment was crucial. Somehow over the last month things had changed between them. Severus had always been distant from everyone. If you were his friend he would do anything to be there for you, but he never fully trusted anyone, always expecting betrayal and pain from everyone. Lucius understood where that stemmed from. He had tried to mitigate the damage, tried to help his friend out, but he knew that Severus could never leave because it was all that kept his mother safe and he would not do anything to jeopardize his mother. That was Severus. He would take the pain, he would take the abuse and not say a word if it meant he could keep her safe. That depth of loyalty was what had drawn Lucius to the strangely silent and withdrawn child. The fact that Severus never attacked first unless you where a known threat then he was a force to be reckoned with. Knowing all that Lucius was content to simply wait leaving his eyes an open book for the other. Knowing that Severus was seeking out some kind of clue as to weather or not Lucius could be fully trusted. Lucius hoped his friend took that final step, he wanted Severus to know he would never betray him. Lucius saw Severus as his little brother, that made him family and Malfoy look after their own. It was their motto. That extended to Severus. Though the other didn't believe that yet Lucius would prove it to him.

"The Headmaster was worried, and rightly so, about the Potter boy's ability to get to Kings Cross station," Severus said. A partial truth. Feeling out the water. Testing for a reacting. He got one. Lucius raised one eyebrow a simple statement of 'go on'. Narcissa narrowed her gaze on him. Severus's features grew dark until his expression was one of anger and barely controlled rage. A very dangerous expression to those who knew him well. One that did not bode well for the recipient of such a mood in the young potion master. Narcissa gently laid her hand on his arm. Pleased for once that instead of stiffening and glaring at the gentle contact his eyes caught hers and his expression softened, calming, though his words were no less dark and dangerous. He continued in a low and very deadly tone, "It became abundantly apparent upon arriving at the Muggle residence that the child was not being taken care of properly." A pause in the words as he clearly struggled with how to continue. Narcissa knew this side of Severus. She had seen it many times when they gathered over the Christmas break and the man talked with her about the children he had found abused in his own house. Severus was always one who kept a close eye to protect his Snakes and it was something the woman admired of him. It was also well known to her that this was one of the hardest thing for Severus to bear. Given his own past it was hardly a surprise. 

Severus drew a deep breath and continued his voice growing colder with each spoken word until even Narcissa was feeling the fear creep into her heart at the very real threat of violent magic from her friend. "The child responds in fear at being called out in a barely raised voice. He flinches at the simplest of touches. The clothing he had been given was hardly fit to be used as rags! It is clear the child is malnourished, just from lifting him up to carry him through the barrier he weights nothing! When he was given a toy after I got him some decent muggle clothing he clung to it like it was the only toy he had ever received! Afraid even to let it go so I could pay for it! None of this is normal! None of this is right! What is worse is the child will not even ask or indicate what clothing he would prefer when asked directly!" 

Narcissa was aghast at those words her eyes huge and small tears forming. "Those - those Muggles dared to touch a wizard child!" Her voice was murderous. When she spat the word Muggle it was a curse that spoke volumes of how much she loathed them. "The poor dear," she continued softly, "what will you do Severus? Surely you cannot allow him to go back there? Surely not?!" 

Severus gave her one of his truly rare smiles, "of course I would not allow it. I told the boy as much, I will make sure he is cared for properly with a home where he is treated as Lily's child deserves!" His words were strong and soft. His tone holding nothing to suggest the true depth of his feelings. Lucius's face darkened as he realized exactly what Severus was implying. He had known that who the boy was, but now he understood fully why Severus was just so upset. And how dangerous this would be of a situation for them all. 

"Are you considering asking for guardianship?" Lucius asked and was met with startled obsidian eyes clearly not having expected the question. 

"I'm not sure," was the simple honest answer he received. He saw the fear and doubt and hesitation in his friends eyes though his blank mask did not waver, Lucius had learned to read the smallest of clues in his friends eyes. Lucius marly raised a brow and Severus continued, "I never wanted a child. Am I too much like my father?" His last words were spoken so low that Lucius had to strain to hear it and there in lied exactly what he knew the other feared. 

"No Severus, your nothing like that monster," Narcissa stated angrily. Startling the other into looking at her. "Never say that again!" She growled at him her eyes intense. Severus nodded. Though it was evident he was still uncertain. Narcissa pressed, "if you will not take him then I will." 

That made Severus gasp. "Wh-what?" He asked. Clearly taken aback.

"I know you Severus, you won't rest until your one hundred percent certain the boy is properly cared for now. Especially this child. You won't wait for the start of next term to check on him. You'll make yourself sick with worry over him, because of who he is. He's Lily's child Severus. I know you," Narcissa began softly. Her hand once again resting on his shoulder. Severus looked down unable to meet her gaze as pain laced his heart so deep he was barely in control. Clawing for what control he had. He knew she was right. He could still vividly remember that night. He could remember seeing the child for the first time. Screaming. Only quieting when he'd entered the room. The child had made little noises at him and then he'd seen Lily and he'd fallen crying and screaming as he held her. All the while the child had been silent. Observing him. Even when Hagrid came the child didn't stop looking at him. He shook his head to clear his thoughts as Narcissa continued, "therefore either you take the child or I will, you know I would raise him right Severus. You've known Draco since he was an infant. I've always wanted another child. This you also know. I leave it to you Severus. It has to be your choice, but no matter which you choose I know you more then you are willing to admit."

Severus felt another hand on fall lightly on his after a long moment of silence that seemed to stretch for far too long. He raised his eyes to meet Lucius's questioning gaze and the man nodded towards the train. He turned his face to see what the man indicated. There kneeling on the bench looking out was the face of the child. Lily's child. Looking so much like James in that moment that it made him scowl. Until those green eyes found his and the child smile waving at him. That shattered the image of James the child had given him dressed in his Hogwarts robes. This wouldn't be easy, but that smile and those eyes made him remember how happy Lily had been going to Hogwarts. The smile matched hers. It drew a rare smile from his lips and he raised his hand waving very discretely to the child. Who seemed to beam even brighter before the train began to move. He watched that compartment window even though he could no longer see the child within until the train was out of sight. He still wasn't late, but he knew he had to get to Hogwarts. It was already late enough. He turned back to a smirking Lucius and a knowing look from Narcissa. With a sigh he nodded. 

"I will consider your words carefully Narcissa and I will be in touch," Severus said. They exchanged a few more pleasantries before Severus canceled the spell and the three of them headed towards the fireplaces to flow off the platform and towards their destination. Severus to flow to his quarters in Hogwarts while Narcissa and Lucius flowed home, promising to give him details on the Christmas party for this year. Something Severus had begun to feel was some sort of tradition for the Malfoy family.


	6. Of Potions and Nightmares

The trip from Kings Cross to Hogwarts by flow is the fastest possible. So Severus still had a lot of time on his hands. Which greatly relieved the obsessive man. He made a quick tour of his living quarters insuring that everything was unpacked and put away. Which didn't take long. His trunk with clothing was unpacked into his bedroom wardrobe and sorted by item of clothing and color. Satisfied that his wardrobe was now neat and organized he had turned to the second trunk which held the collections of books he had wanted to bring for this term. Knowing he could go back to Spinners End or any of his other locations quickly enough via flow or apperation didn't mean he did not desire to bring books with him. Sorting them alphanumerically by subject matter was a simple affair and soon his bookcases were once again overflowing with books. A rare smile curved his lips. 

He took the third trunk down into his private lab before unshrinking it and stocking the shelves with ingredients. Knowing that he'd already stocked two of his cupboards higher up. His private store of ingredients next to his classroom and the student store. Once he was satisfied with his fully stocked shelves he made a quick inventory of the lab and confirmed that everything was in perfect order for him to begin making potions here. Satisfied he set his notes for his research project along with the three reference books on the desk next to his work area. Ready for when he would begin. Setting out the new ink well ready for him. Satisfied he shrunk the trunk back and pocketed it. Going up to his office pausing only to grab the parchments that held his teaching notes for the lessons and his syllabus for the semester and setting them on his office desk where he kept them for the term. He looked around the neat and tidy office with books and potions and jars of ingredients and oddities adorning the shelves around the office offering the atmosphere he quite enjoyed. Satisfied he did one final check of his classroom knowing nothing would be amiss here. He'd already checked this room twice. Done and satisfied he renewed all his wards for his quarters, his office and his lab. Making sure that they were all strong and set. Then turning to the potions classroom he set a series of wards that would serve to keep everything contained. Satisfied and finished with this he headed up to the Hospital Wing where he spent the remainder of his time emptying his trunk of potions he'd brewed over the last month. Pleased to see that he was leaving the Hospital Wing fully stacked and ready for anything the students would throw at Poppy. He saw her enter her office and had exchanged a pleasant greeting, but they had not spoken. No doubt Poppy knew that he was in a bit of a hurry, for if he finished early he could corner Albus for the conversation they desperately needed to have. 

Unfortunately that was not to be the case as soon the clock indicated that it was time for the students to begin arriving and Severus could not afford to be late. However as he settled in his place in the great hall he was able to catch Albus's eyes and silently indicate that they needed to have a word after the feast. Albus nodded to the unspoken request and Severus settled down to wait for the Sorting and the feast to end. Next to him sat Quirrell a rather weak willed Death Eater. Frowning annoyed that the imbecile man was trying to get his attention Severus attempted to pointedly ignore him by turning his attention to Minerva, but that did not last long as she soon rose and existed the hall. She was after all in charge of getting the first years settled. Just then the hall doors opened and the second to seventh year students filtered in. Chattering and noisy. How he missed the quiet of his summer. Soon however Albus was getting the hall quiet and the ceremony would begin. 

As always Severus was still and silent observing not only the new students, but also those around the room from him. What surprised him most of all was even in his line facing the front Harry had tried to catch sight of him, their eyes had met briefly before his attention was once again gathered by Minerva and the ceremony. Severus was disappointed when Potter was sorted into Gryffindor, though that was not entirely unexpected as both his parents had been in that house. He had hoped that Potter would be in Slytherin where he could keep an eye on him easier, but that were not to be. He would need to inform Minerva to keep a close watch on the child then. So be it. He could do nothing of it. For now. Draco was sorted into his house and he breath a sigh of relief at that one. It was to be expected, but one could never be certain. He was simply glad at least half his charge would be in his house and easy to keep tabs on. The other would be the challenge. Maybe he could use Draco to help with that. The boy was a Malfoy and maybe Lucius could instil his child to befriend the young Gryffindor. He would have to think on this further. 

As the feast was underway a sharp pain slashed through his left arm and he knew instantly that his meeting with Albus would be much delayed. The Dark Lord was calling. Quirrell idiot that he was looked straight over to him holding onto his left arm with open fear in his face. A vicious glare followed the man's quick touch. How Severus hated contact. 

"He ca-calls," Quirrell mumbled in horror. 

"Be silent!" Severus hissed in a harsh tone. Hopping the imbecile would head caution. That was however too much to ask for. 

"We ha-have t-to go," Quirrell pressed. Severus simply glared intently at the man hopping that his look would be enough to silence him. Clearly the moron did not have enough braincells for this for he continued in the same horror filled whisper. "He wi-will pu-pun-punish us!" His voice was rising. 

"Be. Quiet!" Severus hissed between clenched teeth. His darkest look piercing the other. "You are drawing attention to us," Severus added in a whisper that was laced with so much venom it was a wonder the stuttering fool did not die of fear. Severus's cold eyes had caught the Potter child's look and the quick press of his hand to his forehead. Now that was curious and caused him to frown. The child looked scared. There was nothing he could for that now so he simply returned to glare harder at the quivering man who had wisely released him. 

To his great surprise the imbecile remained silent for the rest of the feast. Though he did jump at every unexpected noise. Then again the man was a nervous wreck, why the Dark Lord sent the imbecile to him to aid in his search for the stone was beyond Severus's ability to reason. All he knew was the man would be lucky to survive his own wrath never mind that of the Dark Lord. How he loathed the stuttering fool. 

Then again the imbecile had not been a Death Eater when he'd been hired, the fact he was now was something that baffled Severus to no end. What the Dark Lord saw in the terrified whining idiot who had no strength in Severus's mind was besides him. He would gladly ask if it were not going to get him torture. All he could do about it was sneer and sneer he did. Glaring angrily at his food as he ate quietly. The feast ended without further incident and as soon as he could excuse himself without being suspicious he grabbed Quirrell's robe and forced him out of the door before him. Once they were unseen in the hallway Severus slammed the man into the wall and hissed in a deadly whisper.

"If you EVER speak of him in these walls again you will not have to fear his punishment Quirrell!" Severus's words resounded around them in that soft deadly whisper a moment longer before he released the quivering imbecile and headed out towards the forbidden forest. Not even caring if the man followed or not. Albus of course he knew had seen him leave and had figured out what was happening. He had told Albus what Quirrell was, but as always the man had simply said not to worry about it. Evidently the headmaster had a plan for the stuttering idiot, Severus didn't know it. He was not liking being in the dark on this one particular man. He would make his job of keeping Potter safe that much harder, for of course he could not be seen to openly be working against Quirrell. The beginning of a headache was forming just behind his eyes which did nothing to improve the fowl mood he was in. 

His hand pushed the sleeve of his robe up and exposed the Dark Mark on his arm as he reached the other side of the boundaries of Hogwarts. His right hand slowly closing over it the image of where he was to apperate to forming clear in his mind. He held it and apperated to the chosen location. His hand releasing his mark and pulling his sleeve down before he strode from the woods outside Riddle Manor and headed up the path towards their meeting. Late. This would not bode well. 

He entered the house, quickly making is way to his empty slot in the circle and knew instantly when that blood red gaze fell on him. 

"Ah Severus, I see you've finally chosen to join us," the hissing words left the Dark Lords mouth and a dark and dangerous expression crossed the snake like features. Severus stood still his mask hiding his face even as his gaze met the monsters. "Why are you late," he demanded in a deadly whisper. 

"You called during the feast I could not leave without it arising suspicion my Lord," Severus stated plainly. Keeping his voice emotionless and cold. He knew that no matter what he said he'd still be tortured for being late, and it angered him, but he had to hide all traces of emotions for it fed the Dark Lord when he reacted. Of course it was a challenge between the two. The Dark Lord wanted to hear him scream and tried to make his punishments so that Severus would scream for him, but Severus was determined to hold control and not react to the punishment. 

"Step forward Severus," The Dark Lord hissed and he obeyed. Standing in the centre of the circle facing the Dark Lord standing tall and straight backed. He would not kneel until ordered to. To Severus this was a well rehearsed game of wills. He could see the faint smile twisting the features of the Dark Lord who was clearly enjoying this. "Kneel," was the one word command and slowly Severus did. Making the motion deliberate. He kept his eyes fixed on the blood red orbs and did not let his dignity slip even a little as he submitted just enough. As he had always done. He was never one to completely submit. 

The smile grew on the Dark Lord's features as he was forced to submit, Lord Voldemort knew that Severus did not enjoy submission. This was a part of their tests of will that he greatly enjoyed. The power he felt at having the proud wizard kneeling at his feet. With a wicked smile he raised his wand and lazily flicked it at the other man with a whispered "Crucio" in the sudden silence that had fallen. He had not missed Quirrell's much slower entrance and he would punish the other, much more severely then he was going to do to Severus, but he wouldn't enjoy that torture as much as he did this one. Severus was a wonderful man to toy with. He was so strong and resilient that it always tested the extent of his power to get a reaction suitable from the other. 

The first hit of the curse sent pain into every cell of his body. His blood felt like liquid magma in his veins. His nerves felt like they had been set into the coals of a fire without his skin to protect them. His bones felt as if they were shattering into dust and his soft tissue felt as it it were being shredded and pulled from his body. The pain was so great it caused his body to tense and flinch a couple of times without him being able to withstand it. His teeth dug into his lower lip to keep from crying out as it was intensified. He had no concept of time as he kept his gaze locked on the cruel blood red eyes who took so much sadistic pleasure from torturing him. He knew that the curse would hold for far longer then was safe, but he would not give in. He had done this dance so often and he knew he had not truly angered the Dark Lord tonight. There would only be one round of torture. 

Sure enough the pain released and he tasted the strong metallic tang of blood in his mouth and on his lips as his tongue quickly passed over the wounds his teeth had left. His body was trembling ever so slightly beneath the heavy material of his Death Eater robes. His eyes were cold obsidian stone not showing the true depth of his pain as he held the firm barriers in his mind Occluded firmly just in case the man before him used Legilimency to try and gage the extent of his torment. 

The Dark Lord turned away from Severus, not quite satisfied at the reaction, but having had the slight pleasure of knowing he had hurt the other. He yearned to hear his cry and see his pain, but his wrath had not been incurred, not that that would really stop him. He did however have one he wished to torture more, who had earned his wrath. Quirrell. The moment his back was to Severus he heard the rustle of Severus's robes as he rose quickly and retook his place in the circle. 

"Quirrell, Quirrell, Quirrell," The Dark Lord said softly advancing towards the clearly trembling newer recruit. Everyone there knew that tone and the repetition that meant the one to whom the Dark Lord spoke was quite displeasing to their Lord. "I find myself very disappointed," the Dark Lord went on. Quirrell in his haste to alleviate the torture that was coming. Or maybe because he was just such a coward fell to his knees before the Dark Lord begging in whimpered voices for mercy. "MERCY!" Thundered the man. "I DO NOT GRANT MERCY!" The shouted words cutting through the snickers that had arisen from around the circle. Total silence fell and the excitement was soon filling the room like a living entity. 

Severus took on a bored stance and watched with unmoving eyes. He did not enjoy this at all, quite the opposite the open torture was sickening, but he could not show those thoughts and since he could not fain interest in this he would look bored. 

The wand was flicked and Quirrell was thrown into the centre of the circle where all could see him writhing around on the ground amongst screams of agony. Locked in the Cruciatus curse. Unimpressed the Dark Lord took to other darker curses to extract more lovely cries from the whimpering man at his feet. Leaving him alive and quickly finishing with his torture as it was not as satisfying as when they resisted, even if it did appease his displeasure the Dark Lord looked around the circle. 

"I want the stone FOUND!" He thundered to his followers, truly formidable in his anger. His eyes narrowed darkly pausing on every face as he made sure to impose the depth of how he would no longer accept failure from them. "Do not disappoint me. I will not tolerate more failure. Find it's location and bring me the information I desire. Or face my wrath." 

With those final words he waved his hand dismissing them. Severus turned his back on the man. Contemplating what he would do now. He knew the moment the Dark Lord's gaze fell on him that it was expected of him to discover if Dumbledore knew the location of the stone, but he did not know how much he should reveal to the Dark Lord. He would have to consider this carefully and have many discussions with Albus on this. It was imperative that they keep his alliance unknown. So the dance began. 

Heading down towards the apperation point just in the woods Severus returned to Hogwarts and made his way up towards the headmasters office. There was one more task that had to be completed tonight. And many little ones that could wait for another evening. 

Slowly as he made the trek up towards the school amongst the shadows of evening he pulled out a potion from his pocket and downed it quickly feeling the soft relief that his own little invention provided against the residual effects of the curse. He had already removed his robes and mask and shrunk them to fit into a pocket in his regular robes as he always did after spelling them clean. His steps took him to the gargoyle that hid the entrance to the headmasters office and a quick "Sherbet Lemon" got him access. Though he could not help the disgust in his tone as he said the name of the sweat. How he hated sweats. 

He soon arrived outside the door and knocked quickly. After a soft enter Severus walked confidently into Dumbledore's office in a flurry of black robes.


	7. Phoenix Fire

As Severus walked into the headmasters office locking gazes with the worried blue eyes. There was always worry in the old man's eyes now when he returned from a meeting. He had come to realize that it was the old man's way of showing he cared deeply for Severus. Something that the younger was uncomfortable with. He'd always been uncomfortable with sentimental dribble. He did not wait to be invited to sit but instead settled himself in the chair facing the headmasters desk and cross his arms gazing at the old man. Neither spoke for a long moment.

"We need to speak of the Potter child," Severus stated finally breaking the silence with the most important conversation on his mind. Albus frowned one brow rising. So Severus quickly went on, "Minerva's suspicions are correct there is definite signs of abuse from the child. He cannot return to that home." 

Such simple statements, but the deep sadness etched istelf in Albus's blue orbs made them anything but simple. Severus knew why Albus felt the need to leave the child with his relatives, the blood wards. He also knew that the old man could not ignore his concerns for the boy. Severus so rarely expressed concerns over the home life of students and whenever he did it was always because the child truly was in danger or in harms way. Albus knew that was why he had sent Severus. However that did not make this any easier on him. He couldn't so easily remove the child from that home without putting him at risk. The evidence of this internal struggle had Severus frowning deeply.

"You really are considering returning him to that home? After sending me there?" Severus stated bluntly his anger rising. At Albus's startled look he had all the confirmation he needed. The rise in anger and violent magic was palpable as Severus rose to his feet leaning on the desk his voice lowered to a dangerous level, "would you care to see how I found the child." He spat the words out as if they tasted vile. Albus was at a loss.

"Severus calm yourself," Albus stated knowing how close Severus was to loosing his temper. The glare from the other man only intensified and he knew better then to push the man now. "Show me," he stated when it became evident Severus was not going to calm himself. This was a matter that had tried his temper and patience all day and clearly the results of the Death Eater meeting had not made that thin stretch of patience anymore present then it had been at the feast. 

Pushing away from the desk Severus took out a vial from his pocket letting his wand slide into his hand before slowly extracting the memory and dropping it into the vial. Stowing his wand back into it's holster in his sleeve he held out the vial to Albus. Impatiently waiting. Albus took it and levitated the pensive over to his desk settling it on the desk between them he upended the vial and watched the liquid memory swirl before he dived into it's depth Severus retaking his seat to let his anger simmer. 

It did not take long for Albus to finish and lean back into his chair staring at the pensive with sadness tinging his eyes. "It isn't that simple Severus, there are many matters to consider here. I know that you are right, but I cannot simply remove him. I must first retrieve enough proof and a suitable guardian for the boy must be found all before he can be removed from that home. Give me time to see what can be done," Albus added the last as Severus opened his mouth to argue. Narrowed eyes met his and a reluctant nod let the matter drop. For now. Albus knew Severus would not drop the matter, but would find evidence to support his case if Albus delayed too long. Knowing this Albus changed the matter of the discussion to the meeting. It was after all quite late and sleep was on his mind. "Tell me of the meeting tonight, for the hour is late and I am not as young as I once was, my dear boy," Albus finished with a smile. Severus snorted at that. 

"He was angry at my lateness and I was suitably reprimanded for it," He began noting the dark look in Albus's eyes when he offhandedly mentioned his bout of torture. He continued disregarding the man's reaction, "he was mostly angry at Quirrell and no doubt a few others who have been failing to discover the stone's secrets or more like revealing that it was a fake. However, at the end he did make it abundantly clear that I am to discover what you know of the real stones location." 

"I will let you know what we will revealing to him tomorrow Severus, meet me after dinner, for now I have much to plan and much to think on. I bid you good night dear boy," Albus stated once Severus had finished his quick report there was nothing really worth repeating of that nights meeting it had been quite mundane compared to some. No doubt it had been called to check on progress from the others and he had missed most of it anyways since he couldn't leave at the time the meeting was called. Rising Severus exchanged a few pleasantries with Albus before he made his way down to his dungeons and to some much needed sleep after he checked that his Snakes were safely tucked away in their dormitory and that none of them were where they should not be. Satisfied that the dormitories were silent and the students that were not in their beds were quietly entertaining themselves in the Common Room he returned to his chambers and for the first time that day was able to relax with a good book before some much needed rest. 

* * *

The following days were normal for Severus. Or as normal as the busy hustle and bustle of the castle ever got for the somber silent and reserved man who did not particularly enjoy being crowded in. It would take a few days before he relaxed enough of his rigid posture in the great hall to be perfectly at ease eating his meals there. As it was already Friday was dawning and Severus was quite pleased for the week to almost be over it was very clear that he had a lot of work cut out for him and already his mood was sour from the lack of appreciation for his classroom the students held. It was always this way especially with the younger students. Until he could get them back to where he desired them to be. Of course he always did enjoy his sixth and seventh year students the most as they displayed an aptitude for Potions that he could truly enjoy teaching them. 

His first years quickly learned that he was perhaps one of the strictest teachers and he would not tolerate anything short of absolute control in his classroom. So many of the younger students did not appreciate the volatility of potions and the exactness required to brew. Of course his first class was always a lesson in theory and how he would run his classroom. A brief display of some of his more spectacular potions and exactly what they could expect from his class. 

Friday morning was the time he saw the Potter child that week from up close. He seemed to be settling in well and although he had sent a note to Lucius to confirm that his son was settling in well he had not ask the man to speak to Draco about the possibility of befriending the Gryffindor wanting instead to see for himself how the two interacted in his classroom. Though he had never liked having his Slytherins with the Gryffindors for potions class as it was far too dangerous for the house rivalry to cause catastrophes and always proved to test Severus's temper at the best of time he had decided he would try pairing two Gryffindors with two Slytherins at each table and making sure that when they worked on a potion with a partner the class was split Slytherin/Gryffindor. Maybe that would prevent the dunderheads from sabotaging potions and prematurely turning his hair grey! Blasted children had no respect for the true power of potions. 

The regular hubbub of noise he had come to expect from his first class was to be heard when he opened the door to admit the students into his room. As they filed in his quiet authoritative tone barely spoken above a whisper yet causing total silence to fall was heard instantly as he instructed them to sit.

"You will take your seat, this class will not be split as your previous classes were. Each table will have two Gryffindor students and two Slytherin students. If you cannot do this yourself I will assign you seats. You have two minutes to get settled," Severus stated and watched with amusement as almost everyone settled down until it became abundantly clear that he would have to assign seats after all. Glaring annoyed at the students he walked amongst them from the back of the classroom breaking apart clumps of Gryffindors and Slytherins who had dared to defy his orders. Soon he was at the front having met no resistance to his changes, "Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley you will join Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Nott at the next table," he stated simply putting the Potter child with Draco was proving easy since the child had tried to defy him. The boy gave him a half frightened look before quickly gathering his things and moving to the indicated table. The Weasley child gave him a reproachful look of defiance. He would have to watch that one. Draco looked like he wanted to argue but one single glance from Snape's cold eyes silenced the child instantly. The only one of the four who proved to have no qualms with the seating arrangements was Theodore. That he could use. The boy seemed oddly mature for an elven year old. Then again he was not surprised by this. The boy's father was particularly cold and harsh, though Severus knew the man did not abuse his son he also knew that the man would not tolerate anything less then perfect behaviour from his child.

He was now standing at the front of his classroom facing the students his palms laid flat on the podium that rested on his desk to one side for when he lectured them on the theory aspect of potions. The blackboard had a very neat and detailed version of the syllabus in his neat and tidy script. The homework down at the bottom for that week. He cast one last glance at the class which was suitably silent with all eyes focused intently on him. Good. 

"Now, you will put your wands away there is no need for any silly wand-waving in this class. Here you will learn the delicate and precise art of potions. I can teach you many things. I can teach you how to brew glory, bottle fame and even put a stopper in death, that is if you prove to be dedicated students and not the usual dunderheads I have to teach. That being said potions is a delicate art that will test your concentration and focus. You will need to be attentive and pay close attention to everything you are doing. There will be no need for chatter in this classroom," he paused to insure that his words were being listened to before he continued on, "I will warn you only once, anyone found sabotaging another's potion will receive a detention and loose house points, the same goes for disrupting my class. There is no room in this class for any kind of foolishness. In here you will listen and do as you are told am I clear?" At a series of silent nods from the students before him Severus began to take the register before he started in on his lesson. 

He asked questions of a few of his students, intrigued by the Gryffindor girl, Miss Granger, who seemed to genuinely be interested in his subject. Or maybe her blind enthusiasm was just that. He was never one to like over enthusiastic people and her level of energy was not something he wanted to deal with in a potion lab. The class consisted of a few instructions on how Herbology would be crucial to Potions and how a potion's potency could be affected by the properties of the plants that went into the ingredients attempting to show the children just how intertwined their lessons in the branches of magic would be. Commenting on how in theory they would be learning and touching on how to properly prepare ingredients and how to know the state of an ingredients shelf life prior to using it. He was already well into how to properly store the more living ingredients to the potions themselves when he glanced at his clock and realized it was near the end of lesson. Pleased that not a single interruption had been made and that the students had studiously been writing down everything he had been saying. 

"For homework you will all read the two first chapters of Magic Drafts and Potions along with the section found on page 134 and 135 of One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi about the properties of potion ingredients and their proper storage methods. I expect a two foot essay due next Friday detailing how to inspect, prepare and store potion ingredients. Class dismissed," Severus finished with his lesson for that day slowly watching the students pack up their things. He sat down at his desk to see if anyone was brave enough to come up and speak with him. To his surprise Harry did in fact come to stand uncertainly before his desk. 

"Yes Mr. Potter?" he said leaning slightly forwards so he could see those green eyes focus on his. 

"I was wondering sir," the child started and then faltered looking down as if worried his words wouldn't be appreciated. He was rather confused on a few points of the lesson and though he had first thought to ask if Professor Snape offered any study hours he was suddenly finding it hard to ask. The Professor had not made mention of offering study hours like some of his other professors had offered in their classes. 

"What are you wondering?" Severus pressed clearly confused at the boy's sudden display of uncertainty. It wasn't like he had shown the boy anything that he did not expose all his students to. He had not treated him any different then his housemates, so what could be the problem. 

"Your study hours sir?" Harry mumbled almost inaudibly. Severus smirked at that particular question. 

"That Mr. Potter would be an excellent question. I do not have set study hours as I find that it is a waste of my time, instead I offer students the chance to come to me when they see fit. Therefore if you wish to have help or ask questions you may come to my office whenever I am not in class. If I am not there then leave me a note and I will send you a time you may come by for the extra help," Severus said the same answer he gave any student who asked this. He'd tried doing regular study hours with his students in the past and found it proved to only garner students to come and be noisy in his classroom or ask stupid questions about love potions of all things. No instead he let the students come when they would to his office where he would be more then willing to teach them. This way those silly nonsense was less likely to crop up. 

"So I could come by tomorrow morning sir?" Harry asked tentatively. Clearly slightly hesitant to inquire. 

"Yes," Severus responded now interested in why the child seemed so interested in talking with him. He continued quickly, "come down after breakfast and I will be in my office at that time. Be sure to come prepared Mr. Potter," Severus sneered the last, perhaps his short temper combined with his knack for absolute organization was bleeding through, but the man did not like disorganization in any sense of the word and anyone who came to his class unprepared would find themselves leaving it quite quickly. The child swallowed audibly and nodded quickly. 

"I will sir, thank you sir," and with that he watched the Potter child leave his classroom at perhaps a slightly too quick pace. He couldn't help the faint smirk on his lips. So the boy was actually interested in learning and attaining good grades. Excellent now if only he could insure the child was not swayed away from that path by childish pursuits and the traditional hubbub of the castle he might have someone with an aptitude for potions besides Draco in his class this year. If that proved the case then his plan of putting the two children together for future potion lesson would prove quite interesting.


	8. A Quiet Saturday

Saturday morning found Severus absent from the great hall for breakfast. He had desired a quiet relaxing day almost having forgotten that he had told the child he would be in his office that morning. Almost but not quite. It was still slightly troubling for him to see the child in his Hogwarts clothing as he looked quite similar to James, which made him remember uncomfortably his own Hogwarts days and the 'joys' it had not been to know James. He frowned at his meandering thoughts. For a man who was usually cold and reserved he was certainly finding himself wandering down thought paths he'd never really wanted to wander down. Strangely though it wasn't as bad as his usual train of thoughts when he remembered his past. These memories were some of the 'milder' memories. 

The too early morning hour of five am found the somber man sitting enjoying the quiet of his morning after having had a quiet breakfast he had cooked himself in his small kitchen. Now he was reclining on the couch in his living room with the morning paper and a cup of strong coffee. Soon he would be going into his office to check over the impromptu test he had given his upper year students, mainly his fifth, sixth and seventh years at the start of their class and to begin reviewing the turned in summer homework from his second to seventh year students. Satisfied that he had a full day of quiet and peaceful work ahead of him Severus was deeply enjoy the morning. 

Seven came around and found the man rising from his seat setting the finished paper down next to the small box of firewood before heading out to his office. Where he settled himself with the red bottle of ink, his quill and the first stack of tests. The piles neatly laid out on the side of his desk leaving most of the centre of the surface clear in the event he were to have a student wander in with questions and needing space to teach an impromptu lesson. 

He was about half way done his second stack of tests having realized just how much his students had actually forgotten and was frowning deeply at some of the incredulous replies to the simple questions he had gotten when a tentative knock sounded on his door. Startled slightly by the unexpected noise he had already started to draw his wand when he realized that it was no doubt the Potter child come to ask his questions or whatever it was he had wanted to see Severus about. Wand disappearing back up his sleeve he relaxed into his seat before speaking.

"Come in," he said loudly. The door was pushed open and sure enough it was the Potter child with his bookbag slung over one shoulder walking into his office. Looking a lot more tired then he would have expected the child to appear. How very interesting indeed. The child was not only earlier then he would have expected having glanced at the clock and realized it was not even eight in the morning yet, but as far as he could tell the child had actually come prepared. Severus indicated the chair he kept at the front of his desk for just such events, however usually the chair was only used by his Slytherins as most other children didn't seem to enjoy coming down and speaking with him. Not that he really blamed them after all he was known to have very little tolerance or patience. 

Harry quickly took his seat across from Severus and started pulling out his potions book and the book of herbs and fungi that Severus had assigned them as reading. There was a sheet of parchment in each book marking no doubt the sections that had been assigned and another piece which the boy took out with his stack of parchment, quill and ink setting all these things on the desk. Severus raised one brow at this display of preparedness from the first year student. Severus was interested to note that the boy had made a list of what, from reading upside down the slightly untidy scrawl, were actually intelligent questions. If he didn't know better he would assume the child was actually truly trying to stay atop his homework and not wait till the last minute like the other dunderheads. Now this was refreshing. A small smirk curved his lips and he patiently waited for the child. Patient. Him. Now that was a new one that almost startled the man. He found himself actually being patient with a child. He had to mental shake himself at that. Either the boy really wanted to learn something or he was just trying to impress the man for some strange and unknown reason, seeing as it was well known Severus was hardly ever impressed by anything. 

"I came prepared sir, I even finished the reading before bed last night so I could ask all the questions I had instead of wasting your time sir," Harry stated looking down at his paper uncertain if that was ok. 

"So I can see," Severus said his voice taking on the same tone it always did when he was teaching. Authoritative and devoid of emotions, soft and yet strong enough to carry across a classroom. Harry looked up at him and saw the slight smirk that curved his otherwise cold face and the child smile in turn. "Let's see then," Severus said holding out his hand for the parchment of questions. He had after all gotten tired of trying to read the untidy scrawl upside down. Why did children never apply themselves to making neat smooth and easy to read script? He had to wonder. He knew his own script was tight and some children found it hard to read, but it was precise and elegant and quite agreeable to the eye. Harry quickly handed over the paper for Severus to read and the two fell into a comfortable silence. The child seemed to calm significantly as the man seemed to actually be taking his time thinking over the questions instead of brushing them aside. 

"These are rather very well thought out questions Mr. Potter, clearly you have given this some thought," Severus praised something he was not in the habit of doing and the child beamed at him clearly very pleased with himself. "Let's begging shall we with the third questions it might answer a couple of the others, but further elaboration can be added later if you still have questions," Severus was quick to continue setting the paper before him. The next couple of hours saw him instructing the child on the differences between slicing, cutting, dicing and chopping and how each could influence the properties of similar plants. Making sure to use examples of how one technique of cutting could change the properties of a sleep potion into that of a very deadly poison. He also realized that the child was not completely understanding the differences between them so he took out a knife and started demonstrating the different cuts on a root he had taken out of a drawer on his desk. The quirked eyebrow when he just randomly pulled out a root and a knife from a random drawer as if prepared for this particular lesson the whole time almost made Severus chuckle. 

Being observant often made the children assume he could read their minds, it really wasn't that hard when he had trained himself to observe even the tiniest of signs and he knew very well that these techniques of cutting often gave his younger children problems as many of them didn't even know how to hold a knife properly he had always kept some dried up roots that were unsuitable for potions in his drawer with spare knifes he could use to 'show' his lesson when it was truly evident that the children didn't understand. It wasn't everyone who could just listen and understand and Severus knew that better then anyone. 

Finished with his little demonstration he had the boy push his books to the side of his desk and then handed him the knife and another root and had the boy practice correcting how he held the knife and how he poised it over the root. It took quite a few tries, but finally he had the boy doing a nearly decent job. Satisfied he gave the boy a few roots and told him he wanted him to practice and on Friday hand in one of the four roots he handed him with a sample of each style of cut from that one root in a proper storage jar. Strangely the child didn't protest the extra homework but instead thanked him and slide the roots into his potions kit. Please to see the boy was taking care of the ingredients even if they were unusable. This seemed to deal with a good portion of the child's questions.

The next questions on the page were about the various preservations juices and after Severus had given him a few titles of books that would explain them in more detail which he could find in the library with a note for the child to be able to check them out Severus led the boy out of his office and towards the classroom where various jars of floating creatures were set on a few shelves along with various other things he started to explain the three prime preservations techniques and their importance to just how things were preserved. Some of the techniques for preservation would preserve the internal structure of the flesh, but the outside would be useless so it would need to be removed before the internal structure could be used. Some of the preservation techniques hardened the creatures within them and they would need to be crushed so their juices could be used. While still others would act like a satis chamber and anything could be used from those, but that stile of preservation was extremely hard to achieve so it was rarely done.

A few of the questions remaining on the child's list were about growth cycles and harvesting. This was something particularly interesting to Severus as the child actually seemed to know some things about plants and how to garden. He understood far more of the basics then most of the other children and that surprised him. Inquiring into where the boy of eleven had learned to garden he found out that one of the child's chores had been to plant and weed and care for his aunts lawns and gardens and had been the child's favourite chore. How very interesting indeed. What was also interesting was when the boy started to tell him about how his dormmate Neville had told him about how he used to take care of his grandmother's greenhouses and his fascinations with plants. It seemed the two had struck an easy friendship over the simple shared interest. This gave Severus some thoughts that the bumbling idiot might not be such a nightmare after all.

Deciding that he had given the child far more extra work and reading then he probably should have he refrained from giving him more then two titles on books that would hold more information on the plants the texts had used as examples, sticking strictly to what was needed for the essay the child had yet to write. It had actually been quite a pleasant morning and when Severus finally finished explaining how different harvest periods gave varying degrees of maturity to the ingredients and that some of their ingredients would have to be seedlings while some would need to be fully mature plants to have the desired strengths or characteristics as sometimes plants changed in characteristics with maturity it was nearing lunchtime and the child had not once seemed bored or distracted. Something that made Severus quite proud. He reminded him very much of Lily and how she had taken her studies as seriously as he had. 

"Thank you sir, can I came back another time? I really think Ron and Hermione would enjoy this too, could I bring them next time?" Harry asked excitedly. He had really enjoyed spending the time he had in the cold potions dungeons. Professor Snape wasn't as bad as they were led to believe by Ron and the twins. He was really strict and could be really scary, but it was evident he was very interested in his subject and he took a lot of time to explain this if you let him. Harry didn't even mind the extra work he was given because he knew it would only make his grades better, and now that he wasn't having to make sure he scored lower then Dudley he was really interested in getting good grades because his head of house McGonagall had said that their grades were what would let them have more options for jobs and classes at the higher levels. 

"Yes Mr. Potter, you may return at a later date, and if your friends Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger wish to accompany you they may do so, however the same rules apply they must be prepared and willing to learn. I will not tolerate needless chatter, fidgeting or otherwise annoying habits," Severus stated firmly. The Potter child was a child he could find patience in teaching, the Weasley child was one that made him leery. The boy had fidgeted way too much in class and he was quite certain the child had spent the lesson doodling rather then taking notes. The Granger girl though very energetic and a little too annoyingly eager to spew textbook answers was a rather dedicated student so he didn't mind her to much. As much as he could tolerate any Gryffindor at any rate. "Now do go to lunch before your friends wonder if I have hung you up by your toes or pickled you into a potion," Severus said sarcastically shooing the boy out of his office. He was getting hungry himself and he still had a pile of work waiting for him, the child had enough work to keep him busy and out of trouble. He was actually looking forward to receiving his essay. Which was a first. 

The child gave him a wide eyed stare before gathering up the rest of his notes and stuffing them into his bag before running out of his office that Severus was left wondering what he had said that had evidently garnered a reaction from the boy. Shaking his head Severus settled back down at his desk not following the child up to the great hall for lunch. He would go up there for dinner. For now he was craving the silence again. That he had just agreed to have three Gryffindors in his office at once and not in detention was making his head pound in trepidation. Sighing annoyed at his own stupidity he closed his eyes a moment before going back to his marking. 

This however only served in annoying him further as he had expected it would, since most of the homework was atrocious and clearly written at the last minute or in a rush. How disappointing. Why he had expected anything else he was left wondering. The only comfort he had in his annoyance was that he was saving the homework from his sixth and seventh years for last knowing that they at least would have put forth a small effort, hopefully worth reading. Glaring intently at the current essay he scrawled a couple sarcastic lines at the top doubting the writer's ability to read and suggesting they re-read the chapters. 

By the time he was reaching towards the stack of sixth year essays he glanced up at the clock and sighed it was already nearing dinner time. He rose from his desk stretching the sore muscles in his back and neck when he felt it. The sharp stab of pain that announced the Dark Lord was calling them. The deep burn in his flesh was far worse then it normally was and he realized. The Dark Lord was particularly angry.


	9. The Beauty of Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING:** This chapter will contain themes of torture, memories or torture and child abuse, and mention of death. If you do not wish to read such a dark chapter you may skip to the next chapter where Severus will give his report to Dumbledore, the basics of what happened will be in that report so you will not miss the important parts of the chapter. 
> 
> I do realize that my previous chapters have not been as dark as the rating and that is why I am making sure that my warning is updated at the top of these chapters that contain the darker content. 
> 
> Please be advised that this chapter is not for every reader and read at your own discretion. 

Severus hissed at the burn under his skin. He had so rarely felt this degree of pain when he was called. Even as he walked down towards the forest and the boundaries that would allow him to apparate out of here he could feel the skin crawling beneath his arm and burning intently. It felt so similar to the Cruciatus curse that Severus wondered just what fresh hell he would face when he arrived. At least he would be on time. He pressed his hand over the mark and a graveyard of all things swam into view in his mind. Not even bothering to think on this he apparated away. Landing smoothly he had just drawn his robes and mask on when he heard the first shriek pierce the night. Blinking at the not unusual sound at their meetings, but wondering why he was hearing it before he even arrived Severus quickened his pace not daring to be even a second behind schedule.

He arrived to see that only a handful of the Death Eaters were here. More were coming in quickly. Severus slid into his spot next to Lucius, barely sparing a glance to his friends eyes noting the hint of panic in them. His eyes traveled towards the figure hunched over something on the ground in the centre of their forming circle. Only to realize it wasn't something it was a woman. Disgust welled up in Severus and he had to scold his features and occlude his mind to insure none of his true feelings showed as he took on the same bored stance and ice cold dispassionate boredom in his eyes. The cold mask he had come to wear when these sessions of torture were called. Though the Death Eaters often participated Severus rarely did. He only did when he was specifically asked to participate and then he only did because otherwise it would be far to suspicious. When he had been young and naif he had been more willing to participate until he was faced with a child to kill and then he had been disillusioned of what he really had become. His willingness to participate in the sadistic torture of prisoners had fallen and he'd taken on the bored exterior. 

The Dark Lord was clearly already using the Cruciatus curse on the woman who was screaming again her back arching up and the long white fingers of the Dark Lord running down the blood darkened side of her cheek as a lover's caress. This sent a chill down Severus's back as he watched the disgusting display. Wishing he could look away, but knowing he couldn't without incurring suspicion. He could feel the bloodlust and excitement flowing from those around him and he let his mind drift away from the torture as names were called by the Dark Lord to join him. A long forgotten memory swam up in his mind reminding him of exactly why he had come to hate these evenings.

* * *

_Severus was barely eighteen years old. Young and strong and in control he had walked with Lucius by his side into the manor where the family the Dark Lord had ordered them to kill resided. The father had once been a supporter who had turned from the Dark Lord and betrayal was not taken lightly. Severus felt pride that he had been chosen to show the traitor the wrath of the Dark Lord. It was a prestigious assignment indeed. A quick spell blasted the door open. The two strode into the home uninvited to hear a woman screaming somewhere in the den and the sound of crying._

_There was only one entrance into the den and the male they had come to teach a lesson stood in the doorway glaring defiantly at them. Severus smirked at him. Lucius's spell caught the man and sent him to the ground twitching and in a few minutes screaming out in pain. The spell broke and Severus spoke._

_"You betrayed the Dark Lord," the cold words echoed in the sudden silence as terror became evident in the man's eyes, "now you will feel his displeasure," Severus concluded rising his wand and whispered into the silence "Crucio," with a flick of his wand at the prone man. His shrieks filled the air and it seemed so easy. Until Severus heard the cries of the woman join the man's. His eyes snapped away from the man and looked up to where Lucius had sent the Cruciatus curse at the woman. It was the expression on the aristocrat's face that made him pause. The man forgotten._

_There was disgust on his features. Severus stared openly at him. Lucius met his gaze and he was left wondering why Lucius didn't appear to enjoy torturing the woman. The question was evident in his eyes, but no answer was given. Severus's eyes fell away from the woman as she slumped down trying to shield something from view. A small child of three years of age was crying openly clutching himself in the corner. That single image shot him back to when he was a child and he started to back away. Severus didn't realize he was shaking until he hit the wall with his back and heard the clatter of his wand hitting the wooden floor. Locked in a memory_

* * *

_He had just turned four years old and had been sitting quietly at the table as his mother cleaned after their small supper. She had told him to sit at the table quietly so she could finish her work before she got him ready for bed and those rare times when he was tucked in by his mother were moments he treasured so Severus had been happy to sit at the table and read quietly._

_Not even ten minutes later their front door was slammed against the wall startling Severus into rising the book clutched tightly to his chest his eyes wide and wildly looking around. He made a dash for the stairs knowing that entrance and the heavy footfall that fallowed. He was not fast enough as a fist grabbed the long black hair and yanked him painfully back. A cry of pain escaped his lips even as he tried to not show the pain. He was sent sprawling no doubt having lost some hair in the process. Laying on the floor on his back trying to catch his breath he looked up at the man who was his father._

_"wha yu-got tere boy," the man's drink slurred words and the reek of strong liquor washed over Severus and he was left trembling as the man grabbed for the book clutched to his chest. He refused to let it go and desperately Severus tried to fight the man to keep his book. It resulted in the man's strong hand closing over his wrist and throwing him through the door to the small den where a fire was merrily dancing in the fireplace. Severus landed hard nocking into the couch that sat there and falling to the ground while the book he had been reading was clutched in his father's fist._

_"Teach yur place," Tobias snarled at the boy._

_The man didn't even look at the book he held as he threw it into the fire. Severus watched with frightened eyes as the man rounded on him and proceeded to teach him why he shouldn't be reading in an open space. All the while Severus's eyes never left the book and finally when his father was done with him he found himself curled up against the wall watching the fire finish destroying the precious book he had been reading. Tears falling silently down his cheeks._

* * *

_"SEVERUS," A voice thundered in his ear and he was drawn out of the nightmare of his memories realizing he was crying kneeling on the floor with his head bowed down trembling uncontrollably clutching at his head. The voice which had barely raised in volume was coming from right next to him and he flinched away glancing over at the man who was kneeling next to him. Lucius. Slowly realization of their location dawned on him. Where he was and what had just happened._

_Swallowing he looked up and noticed the bodies lying where they had been before his nightmares had risen. He blinked as he took in the dead child. Why had he ever thought this was a good idea? When had he become his father? Sickened by that thought he was certain he would be violently ill for a few moment until he felt Lucius's hand fall on his shoulder and jumped almost out of his skin at the contact. Whirling back to face the man he drew himself tightly into a defensive position and grabbed his wand tightly pressing his back against the wall._

_Lucius raised both hand to show they were empty his words soft, "Sev, what's going on?" He asked clearly concerned. The answer he got would shock him for years to come._

_"When did I become my father?" The soft words that left the young man was enough to make the truth clear to Lucius. It wasn't the first time Lucius had seen his friend have a flashback to his past, but it was the first time in the year they had been Death Eaters together that Lucius realized just what they were doing. Suddenly the purging the Dark Lord claimed they were doing of the impurities that polluted the pureblood lines become what it truly was, torture and depravity. How could they have missed that?_

* * *

The final death scream was enough to snap Severus back to the present and out of his dark and morbid thought and memories feeling as ill as he had that day and glad he had not eaten since breakfast. He carefully avoided looking at the woman not wanting to see the result of the 'night's amusement' as the Dark Lord called this. The man himself was standing in the centre of his circle looking at each of his Death Eaters with a savage look of pleasure on his face his hands still lightly coated in the blood he had touched and Severus avoided looking at them as he met the blood red eyes. He felt the same burning hatred swell inside his mind until he was certain he would lash out. The only thing that kept him standing still in that same bored stance was the knowledge that if he acted now he wouldn't have the satisfaction of seeing the bastard fall.

Lily had been the final straw that drew him away, but his loyalty had started to waver long before that. No the man before him hadn't been so stupid as to think he could force Severus back into enjoying the purging. No after that night Severus had refused and no amount of torture had changed his mind. Severus could remember when the Dark Lord had finally realized that unless he wanted to kill Severus he would have to change tactics to bring back the loyalty that had wavered. He still needed Severus's unrivalled skills for potions. So he had used the man's strengths against him. Sent him to spy on Dumbledore, and on others of course, demanded potions from him, had him work on projects of interesting results. 

"I tired of the failure I see before me," The Dark Lord spoke in that angry hiss that told those around the circle he was quite displeased. "The _woman,_ " he spat the word, "was the undersecretary to the Minister of Magic, brought to me by Avery. She was quite fun, but now we will need to replaced her and I want someone I can control in that station. Malfoy you will see it done," The blood red gaze focused on the man next to Severus with a wicked smile curving his lips. "I need more control in the ministry Malfoy. I trust you will use that wonderful influence of yours to achieve this."

"Yes my lord," Lucius replied smoothly. His tone blank and respectful. Every inch the aristocrat. 

"Good, now Severus," he said turning his gaze to focus on the black obsidian eyes. Those cold orbs reflecting no emotion. The Dark Lord knew the other hated these sessions of sport and the Dark Lord relished how he could make Severus have to observe them and torture him in the same time he had the pleasure of purging another from his path. He continued, "tell me what the muggle loving fool knows of my stone!" He demanded.

"I have been able to discover that the stone is supposedly kept in a vault in Gringotts, my lord," Severus stated simply. He didn't wait for the man to ask if he knew which vault he simply stated it. "Vault seven hundred and thirteen, my lord."

"Well, well, well," The Dark Lord said spinning around to face the rest of the circle with a smile curving his lips, "I wonder if you will scream for me tonight Severus," he finished as he turned back to Severus and his wand flicked towards Severus with a whispered, "Crucio."

Severus stiffened trying to keep his knees from buckling as his body flinched in response to the excruciating pain. As the spell built and his body began to tremble more noticeably unable to control the twitching of his muscle, Severus found himself bitting his lip to keep from screaming. His back arched back slightly and his knees buckled. He found himself falling until he hit the ground with a solid thud barely catching himself before he could fall further then his knees. His eyes closed and a few traitorous tears leaked from his eyes as his breathing became erratic. Still he did not scream. 

Finally the spell broke and the Dark Lord looked quite satisfied with the result. Without another word he turned away from Severus and it was a few minutes before he could push himself up to standing and many minutes more before he realized what was happening around him. A few more of the Death Eaters were on the ground and he had no idea why. What had they done to anger the Dark Lord? Did he even have a reason? Somehow Severus doubted it. That was how the meeting ended and he quickly staggered away to apparate back to Hogwarts where he could eventually seek refuge in his quiet and dark chambers.


	10. Distractions

Severus staggered through the trees of the forbidden forest and found his uncontrollable shaking making it hard for him to move. Even after having taken his potion the combination of the Cruciatus and his memories were making it harder for the man to hold his rigid control. If Severus was being truly honest he was slipping and small cracks were beginning to show in the rigid withdrawn shell he kept about himself. He found himself stopping to lean heavy against a tree taking many steadying breaths as he could see the hut of the groundskeeper just past the line of trees before him and he knew he needed to appear unfazed and unaffected he couldn't afford to let anything show through or he would draw suspicion to himself.  

After a few long moments Severus felt satisfied that he could pull together the cold mask of withdrawn aloofness he headed out at a steady walk towards the main entrance knowing that Dumbledore would want a report before he retired to his quiet. He could feel the slight trembling of his limbs, but was satisfied it was hidden beneath the layers of heavy robes he wore. His steps were steady and his pace quick enough that none would really pay him much attention. He was just crossing the entrance hall towards the gargoyle blocking the entrance to the headmaster's office he saw a  shadow move just down another hallway. His nerves already on edge he drew his wand and was off in that direction in a predatory stalk before he had even made the decision. 

Wand raised he saw the small form trying to press itself into the dark shadow. A sneer curved his face and he snarled, "show yourself!" Two scared looking first years came almost involuntarily to stand before him. He glared down at two face he knew. Potter and Weasley. He glared openly at them. 

"Detention, seven o'clock my office tomorrow night! 30 points from Gryffindor," he stated darkly at the two boys, "now why are you out of bed?" He demanded. It was well after curfew after all. 

"Studying," Weasley said. 

"We got lost sir," Potter replied. Weasley looking over at Potter with open fear and a look of shock clouding his features. 

"Well I trust you know how to get to your bed from the great hall?" Severus asked sarcastically. He received a pair of nods. "Good, it's right around that corner," he said in the same annoyed tone. "Now you have fifteen minutes to make your way up to your bed, or so help me if I find you out of bed after I have spoke to Professor McGonagall," Severus finished his threat with narrowed eyes and was satisfied at the looks of fear and nervousness he saw in their face. He stepped aside and was satisfied to watch the boys run off towards the stairway heading in the right direction. 

Shaking his head in annoyance and disappointment he headed back towards the gargoyle infuriated at having to deal with troublemaking first years after the evening he had had. It was just the beginning of night time and he was in no mood to deal with the dunderheads. He called out "sherbet lemon" and shivered in revulsion.  

Severus entered the headmaster office after a quick knock and an 'enter' from inside. His quick steps took him to the desk and settled into the chair. 

"Sherbet lemon?" Albus asked holding out the disgusting sweet towards him. Severus glowered at the nasty candy and shook his head. 

"NO thank you," He snapped in no mood for the headmasters drivel tonight.

"You're in a fowl mood tonight Severus," Albus replied as he popped the nasty candy into his mouth seeming to savour the taste which made Severus shiver in revulsion. 

"He called," Severus stated simply to which Albus interrupted him before he could begin his report. 

"Is that why I have not seen you all day, dear boy?" Albus asked curiously. 

"No, but that is unimportant Headmaster," Severus started attempting to start on his report once more but being interrupted again.  A snarl escaped the glowering man. 

"Now, now Severus, it is important to me. You know I expect all my teachers to at least show up to one meal in the great hall every day, dear boy," Albus said with those damnable twinkling blue eyes, "now why didn't you at least show up to dinner?"

"I told you already headmaster, he called," Severus stated, though his voice remained calm his tone held a strong hint of annoyance and impatience. He started to speak his report again, and was interrupted. 

"Well that's no reason to miss breakfast and lunch," Albus pressed. 

"Fine!" Severus thundered angrily and snarled out, "I wanted a quiet day to myself, is that satisfactory?" 

"Quite," Albus said smiling pleasantly at the other men, "now what has you so angry, my dear boy."

Severus had to take several deep breath before he opened his mouth to speak. He was already in a fowl mood to begin with, but the headmaster's insistence on knowing why he had not been in the great hall all day made him far more irritable.  He absolutely hated it when the old man decided to meddle in his personal affairs. _Meddling old man_ , he grumbled to himself darkly. 

"The Dark Lord called a meeting this evening, he was already torturing the Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic when I arrived. She is dead. He instructed Lucius to insure that the replaced who took her place was a supporter to the Dark Lord's cause. Lucius i s to use his influence to insure this happens. I was asked about the location of the stone and fed him the information we agreed upon. The number of the vault as you requested. The evening was concluded by many Death Eaters being punished, I do not know why," Severus stated his report quickly and in that cold voice. 

"Where you tortured tonight Severus?" Albus asked. 

"Yes," Severus replied his tone devoid of all emotion. His eyes slightly narrowed at Albus's particular question. The twinkling was gone from those blue eyes and they seemed to be cold. This reminded Severus that Albus was feared by the Dark Lord for a reason. He had no desire to find out why. 

"Are you injured?" Albus asked bluntly knowing that Severus would hide his injuries from everyone unless directly forced to admit it by Albus himself. Albus's gazed scrutinized the man before him. Noting how he appeared to be sitting a little too stiffly. He had already noted the dead tone of Severus's voice which indicated that the other had occluded his thoughts to keep all traces of emotions from his face and actions. There was a hint of something in his eyes, Albus could just see it, but he did not know exactly that it was and he hoped that Severus would trust him enough to tell him. Albus however, knew that wouldn't be the case. 

"No," Severus responded. "Is that all Headmaster?" Severus asked he already had another item on his list to take care of tonight before he would be free to seclude himself in the silence of his room. 

"Yes dear boy you may go get some sleep and be sure to have a bite to eat Severus," Albus stated and Severus just glowered, "we'll talk more at a later date I have a few items that need your input dear boy, but not tonight." 

With that Severus rose and left the headmasters office heading down the spiral stairs and out into the empty and silent entrance hall. Pleased that he met no other students as he made his way to Minerva's chambers. He knocked knowing the witch would still be awake and was pleased to see that she had not changed from her teaching robes yet. It always made him uncomfortable to see his colleagues dressed informally. It seemed too personal for the man who did not enjoy personal contact or entanglements. 

"Severus what a surprise, do come in, would you care for tea?" Minerva said as she opened the door wider waving him in. Severus entered with a no thank you for the tea and Minerva continued. "What brings you here at this hour Severus?" She asked clearly concerned at the strange man. 

"Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley were found out of bed and have received a detention along with a warning to be in their dormitory," Severus stated bluntly. Taking a seat when Minerva waved him to it. Even though he did not want to be here longer then necessary he settled down in the seat opposite the witch.  

"You want me to check that they are indeed in their dormitory I take it?" Minerva asked a raised eyebrow at her colleague. 

"Yes," Severus responded simply. He was not in the mood tonight to exchange banter with the elder woman. His tone spoke clearly about his lack of interest and patient and had Minerva staring openly at him now. He would  have sighed if it was in his nature to  do so. Instead he simply glowered back at her. 

"Alright, wait here a moment," she said rising and leaving the room. No doubt to use the hidden passage from her chambers to the Gryffindor common room. In minutes she returned and informed him that the two were indeed to be found in their dormitories and he nodded before bidding her good night. He was finally free to head to his own quarters. What surprised him as he finally opened the door to his private chambers was the figure he found sitting comfortably drinking a glass of brandy on his couch. His eyes were narrowed at the daring of the other until the shifting fire caused the white-blond hair to sparkle and he relaxed. It was Lucius. 

"I see you've made yourself comfortable," Severus said scathingly as he closed the door to his quarters and glared at the fire turning the cold room a nice toasty warm. 

"You know it's far to cold in here Severus, Narcissa would scold you for allowing the rooms to become so cold and uninviting," Lucius said silkily not bothering to move or respond to the clear irritation on the young man's face. He knew what was bothering Severus he'd seen it in his eyes at the meeting and how he'd held quickly without so much as a glance spared his way. There had been something that had bothered Lucius in the way Severus had stiffened visibly during the meeting. Severus had clearly ignored the words Lucius had just spoke so he continued, "will you not join me for a quick drink?"

Severus nodded and drew his own glass from the open brandy bottle on the table next to Lucius and settled in the armchair furthest from the fire since Lucius occupied the one closest to the fire. Leaning slightly so  he could see the other's face more clearly he sipped the potent alcohol in total silence. 

Lucius knew better then to press Severus for information when his mood was like this. He would just push the other away. So instead he turned the conversation to a different topic. His eyes however observed the other intently seeking reassurance that his friend was indeed fine. The answer he knew he would receive if he asked the man if he was alright. 

"Narcissa wishes to know if you will be bringing Harry Potter to our Christmas break?" Lucius inquired his tone neutral and conversational. 

"I was considering it," Severus stated relaxing visibly at the topic of conversation. Lucius knew instantly that something was indeed wrong, but that pressing was the absolute worse thing he could do. Severus for his part was very glad that Lucius had not asked him what was on his mind. He was in no way interested in speaking of that at all and was quite glad to instead spend some quiet and comfortably amicable moments with his friend discussing the Christmas break. 

"I know that Narcissa would quite enjoy having him join us," Lucius pressed. 

"Be that as it may I am concerned how Draco would react to Harry's presence. The two seem to be starting a slight animosity towards each other. I want to observe them together during potions before I make a final decision on the boy's presence at the Christmas Break," Severus stated simply. Watching Lucius. 

"I fear Draco take a little too strongly after his grandfather at times," Lucius stated sadly, before his eyes met Severus's, "you plan on putting them together for Potions?" The question was posed as if asking if Severus had gone mad.

"I had to do something to lessen the stupidity of the house rivalry in my class since the Headmaster refuses to switch the Slytherins and Gryffindors to different class schedules that would keep them apart for Potions. I grow tired of protecting the dunderheads from blowing themselves and everyone else up during my class. I am putting one Gryffindor with one Slytherin for each potion lab that way they cannot so easily sabotage each other." Severus explained with a wicked smile curving his lips. 

"That's actually quite brilliant and cruel," Lucius said with a laugh. Sobering he stated, "If Harry displays the same level of interest in potions that Draco has they might well get along in short order. Draco is quite determined to make his uncle proud," Lucius said with a slight chuckle. 

"Is that so," Severus stated with a slight proud smile curving his features. 

Their conversation continued down this line for some time until both males had finished their glass of brandy and they now lay forgotten on the table next to them. They planned a little where they would take the boys for Christmas Break and Lucius weaselled out what Severus wanted for Christmas from the other man. As much as Severus kept telling his friend he did not want to receive gifts and refused to answer when Lucius didn't drop the top Severus finally gave him a few items he desired. No doubt Lucius had been put up to it by Narcissa. The evening ended on a high note of laughter and the two parted ways. Severus being all too happy to retired to his room for some much needed sleep and Lucius home to report to Narcissa on what he had learned from Severus. 


	11. Detentions and Conversations

Severus woke up at two am with a migraine and once again very glad he had not eaten the day before. The nightmares that had plagued his sleep were unrelenting and he did not wish to dwell on them as he sat up and rubbed his tired aching eyes. Growling low in his throat at the time revealed by the clock on the wall next to his bed he contemplated trying to get back to sleep before deciding he had no interest in going back down memory lane. He made his way to the bathroom where he took a blisteringly hot shower which did help a lot with the forming heading no doubt caused by the tension in his shoulders and back. 

Cleaned and dressed he headed towards the living room where he settled his aching body down into an armchair glad for the bite of clod that had seeped back into his chambers now that the fire was out in the hearth and only ash remained to show that he had had such a thing taking away the ever present chill of the dungeon. He liked the cold, why no one could understand that was beyond him and served only to infuriate him. He contemplated rising to get himself a pain relieving potion to rid his body of the remainder of the ache that permitted it and the headache that still lingered, but chose instead to acio the required potion from his private cupboard being far to comfortable here. Catching the vial easily he downed it with only a faint scowl at the bitter taste before setting the empty vial on the table where the bottle of brandy and two glasses still sat reminding him of his evening discussion. Unfortunately they also served to remind him of his upcoming detentions and the rest of his evening.

Grumpily he called for a house elf to fetch him some coffee having no mood to make it himself this morning. The quiet house elf that was charged with his personal chambers seemed to take great pleasure in providing him with the requested beverage and inquiring if he desired anything else. He simply indicated the table and it was cleaned the glasses vanishing and the vial being taken to his unwashed pile which sat in the far corner of the potions classroom by the sink. Satisfied that he was now left alone he acioed a book and settled in reading while he savoured his coffee. 

The morning paper appeared on his table and the empty coffee cup vanished hours later Severus set the book down and took the paper not bothering to read it like he had the days previous, but simply skimming it to see what was new in the headlines, finding nothing to catch his interest he set the paper back down so he could read it fully later. Rising he stretched and headed up to the great hall knowing that if he didn't show up to breakfast this morning Albus would come down and badger him into eating something. How the man infuriated him at times. Not wanting that particular invasion of his private rooms he made his way quickly to the great hall. 

Settling down in his seat he scanned the spread of food not really in the mood for a complicated meal. Severus enjoyed the feasts, but he usually liked to eat meals that didn't consists of all that rich food the headmaster seemed to enjoy too much. Putting a few sausages, some hardboiled eggs and a slice of toast onto his plate Severus was content to eat in silence. Filling his cup with tea. Periodically drinking the tea while he consumed his food only half listening to his colleagues conversation. Minerva and Albus were talking about some new transfiguration article that had almost no interest with Severus, Filius and Quirrell were talking about some strange creature that Hagrid had found in the forest. Or more like Filius was talking, Quirrell was stuttering in abject terror which was enough to cause Severus to smirk. 

Soon the great hall was filling with noise and Severus found himself rising from his seat and leaving through the teacher's door. He had eaten breakfast insured his house table was behaving and was satisfied he did not need to be in the noisy hubbub any longer. Descending back to his dungeon he fond himself in his private lab with a rare smile softening the cold features as he glanced at the his notes quickly to gather the first set of ingredients he would need. He was going to begin on his private research project today. 

The rest of the morning and well into late afternoon found the somber man working on preparing the ingredients and the first stage of brewing well underway. Satisfied that the potion was at the stage where he could leave it for the required thirty-eight hours of low simmering Severus cast a few spells around the work area to clean up any residue from the ingredients and the process that the first stage required. A few spells to warm him if anything changed in the simmering of the potion and a ward in case something went wrong and he couldn't' get here in time to insure the mess would be contained. Satisfied that he was done he stacked his notes neatly and closed the reference book placing them all in a pile off to the side safely behind wards that would insure they would not suffer any damage. 

He cast a final cleaning charm over himself to insure his robes where not containing any contaminants before he headed to the sink to was up. Glancing in the mirror he noted that his hair looked particularly greasy, his skin particularly shallow and his eyes overly dark with rather dark circles beneath them. Ignoring his slightly startling appearance he headed back upstairs to finish marking his students papers. 

He was on the final stack when a shy hesitant nock sounded on his door. He looked at the clock and found it to be six fifty five. He had missed lunch and dinner, having taken a brief snack when he had returned to his office from his lab. He was hungry now, but he had a detention to oversee and that would have to wait until after. No matter he was quite used to the familiar feeling of hunger. 

"Enter," he called in his no-nonsense voice and was pleased to see two disgruntled Gryffindors walking into his room looking quite put upon. He scowled at them, no doubt Minerva had had a thing or two to say to the two wayward children. 

"Place your wands on my desk, you will be cleaning the potions classroom the muggle way, I expect it to be to be satisfactorily clean before I will allow you to leave detention so I suggest you work diligently," Severus stated rising. The two boys looked at him with wide eyes but they quickly obeyed and pulled out their wands laying them on his desk. 

He led the way to the classroom door and pulled it open. There were no cauldrons to wash this time, but he indicated the pile of vials, making sure that both boys knew to wear the protective gloves he had set by the sink before washing anything. He wanted the desks scrubbed clean, but made sure to inform them that they were not to wash the floor. He did not after all want them to be in contact with anything that could be harmful. He usually took care of the floors of his classroom himself knowing that spilled potions could be potentially harmful. There was absolutely nothing on the floor as he'd already taken care of them Friday afternoon, but he enjoyed the look of nervousness and anxiety he got when he gave his warnings. Satisfied that the two boys would at the very least behave themselves he went back to his classroom after stating that excessive noise would result in more detentions. 

Leaving the door to his classroom he could easily see the two children working while he finished up his grading. An hour passed in absolute silence, every few minutes the man would look up and catch the two children whispering to each other, but their voices were so low that he didn't bother shouting at them to be silent. At the end of the hour he looked up when he heard two sets of footsteps headed towards his open door. 

"Done already?" He inquired and received nods. Frowning he continued, "use your words!" He demanded annoyed at not having responses verbally spoken. 

"Yes sir," they both answered together. Satisfied he followed them back to the classroom taking a critical eye to the state of the room. The desks were cleaned and the chairs had all been pushed back in so that it looked just as it had at the beginning of term. All the ink stains had been scrubbed off the wooden surface and Severus was quite pleased. Clearly one of them knew how to clean properly. He suspected Potter as Weasley didn't scream 'organized and clean' to him if anything the Weasley child screamed messy. Something Severus hated about children. 

Looking over the rack of drying vials and jars he was extra pleased to note that not a single trace remained of what had previously been in the containers. Satisfied he turned to the children observing that Weasley looked annoyed, but Potter had a look of pride in his eyes even though his face looked dejected at being punished. 

"You may go," Severus said and added after a pause, "do not repeat last nights nighttime wandering or the consequences of your actions will result in more then a few chores and removal of house points," and with that spoken he retreated back into his office followed by two silent boys who quickly grabbed their wands and left. Sitting back down he proceeded to finish grading the last of his essays. Taking a few bites of the sandwich that had appeared with a glass of water on his desk. Probably Albus's doing, but Severus was not about to comment on it now. He was after all glad to have food and not to mention hungry. 

He had just finished the last of his sandwich and the last of his essays when a nock sounded on his door once more causing his eyes to narrow. "Enter," he called his hand automatically going to grab his wand as he waited for the door to open. A moment later it did and Albus stepped through it. He relaxed. For a moment. Until Albus closed and locked the door before putting up privacy spells and taking a seat at his desk. At that point Severus's eyebrows shot up into his hair and he gave the headmaster a curious glance. 

"We need to talk," Albus said leaning back into his chair taking one of the essays from Severus's neat pile and tutting at his sarcastic comment on the top next to the T. "Really Severus, you shouldn't be so harsh on them."

"That is certainly not too harsh Headmaster the child's essay states that Wolfbane is a plant that turns a man into a wolf. Surely even a first year would know that is absolutely not the case," Severus sneered glaring a whole into the essay Albus quickly put down frowning. 

"You make a fair point Severus, but still there are kinder ways to express their ineptitude then 'such blatant disregard for basic reading skills is intolerable'," the headmaster quoted with a soft laugh and twinkling blue eyes. Severus just glared at him resisting the urge to reach out and grab his marked essays away from the overly cheerful man. 

"What is so important that you felt the need to come down here? Surely it wasn't to criticize how I mark my work?" Severus grumbled scathingly at the man. 

"No, no if I wanted to do that I'd have called you to my office," Albus said cheerfully clearly ignoring the deepening glower he was receiving. Albus's smile faded and his eyes turned hard and Severus caught the change instantly. Annoyance and irritability gone as he knew that look meant only one thing, Albus was here to discuss something of extreme important, "I'm here to talk about where we are going to place Harry Potter come the summer holidays," Albus began. 

"I take it then you have found sufficient evidence to support my hypothesis?" Severus stated bluntly. 

"Yes," was all Albus said, but it was all that was needed. Severus already knew there would be more then enough evidence to support the theory he had formed. After all he'd been observing the boy closely as had Minerva and they both agreed there was something different and unsettling about the boy. 

"Narcissa Malfoy, has already informed me that she would be willing to take the child as her ward," Severus stated after a pause clearly startling Albus into staring at him. He smirked. 

"I thought you would have requested guardianship?" Albus stated plainly. 

"I have never, nor will I ever desire to have a child Headmaster, you know this," Severus stated too quickly and far too coldly for Albus to really take those words to heart. 

"Oh yes of course," Albus said his eyes twinkling once more which caused Severus to glare intently at him. "No matter, It wouldn't do for you to be in such a position anyway it would only make your duty as our spy too cumbersome," Albus stated waving his hand as if dismissing Severus's near murderous look. 

"I see," Severus stated simply, not bothering to inform Albus that he was quite capable of caring for a child and remaining as a double agent without 'cumbersome complications' thank you very much. It was simply a point the man was not willing to argue. He had too many conflicting emotions where the child was concerned. When he was studious and those green eyes met his he could see Lily too clearly which was conflicting enough on it's own. When the child was getting into trouble and disregarding rules all he saw was James and that was in a way even worse as in those times he wanted to hate the child, but then he would see Lily in him and hate himself for those feelings. 

"Will you consider Narcissa Malfoy as a guardian for the boy?" Severus pressed. Since Albus had yet to answer him. 

"I will speak with her and Lucius regarding the matter," Albus said noncommittally. Albus paused for a moment and Severus found he had nothing more to say on the matter, he was almost taken off-guard when Albus continued, "will you speak with Harry about this?"

"Why?" Severus asked skeptically.

"He trusts you Severus, he might open up to you, I fear he doesn't quite trust me yet," Albus stated sadly. This made Severus raise one quizzical brow. He did however agree to speak with the child on Friday after class. Albus promised to have a conversation with Narcissa and Lucius before then and give Severus his decision before Friday then. With that Albus left and Severus found himself enjoying the quiet once more.


	12. Problems and Tempers

Lucius was off to a meeting at the Ministry when the Floo rang out in the Malfoy residence. Narcissa who had been working on some needlepoint looked up from her seat on the blush sofa towards the fireplace. Since the charm around the fireplace was ringing with a sharp tone she knew for a fact it wasn't someone who had the passcode to enter their home and therefore she would have to go and investigate who it was before allowing them entrance to her home. Setting aside the bolt of deep green cloth with fine gold stitching already starting to form the Malfoy crest on the table by her seat she gracefully rose giving her robes a quick tug to insure they were in perfect place before she went to kneel before the fireplace whispering a quick word in latin. The face that swam into view a couple minutes later took her slightly by surprise. Albus Dumbledore was looking up at her from the fireplace. 

"Mr. Dumbledore, this is a pleasant and unexpected surprise, would you care to come over? Or is this a quick call?" Narcissa inquired in her cool and refined voice. Every inch the aristocratic and highbred woman. 

"Albus will do," Dumbledore said before continuing in his cheerful voice, "this is a rather delicate matter so if it would be alright I would indeed like to Floo over."

"Please step through," Narcissa said smoothly rising in one fluid and graceful movement before taking a step back from the fireplace to let her guest through after whispering the next latin word that would completely unlock the floo and allow the man to complete the passage. A moment later Albus Dumbledore stepped out and dusted his robes quickly before stepping out into the warm sitting room of the Malfoy resistance. "Won't you be seated," she said indicating one of the sofa's in an array around the fireplace before calling for a house elf and ordering tea for them. Narcissa waited until Albus had seated himself before selecting a seat opposite him for easy conversations. Tea arrived and she severed first Albus and then herself. Handing him the cup she settled back saucer in one hand and teacup in the other. A picture in perfect etiquette and manners. 

"Might I inquire where Mr. Malfoy is?" Albus asked wondering if the older Malfoy was in some other room. 

"Lucius had to step out for a meeting at the Ministry," Narcissa answered, "If you wish to speak with him I can have him floo you this evening when he is home?"

"That won't be necessary, but thank you Mrs. Malfoy," Albus said politely. 

"If I am to call you Albus, Mr. Dumbledore, you are to address me as Narcissa please," Narcissa stated firmly. Albus nodded sipping his tea and Narcissa pressed, "what brings you here today Albus? Is everything alright with Draco?"

"Oh yes, Draco is doing quite well and from how Severus praises the lad I do think he is settling in quite well," Albus quickly said. Seeing the motherly instinct in Narcissa to protect her child. She relaxed back into her tea and decorum at those words and Albus continued, "No it seems that Severus mentioned you were interested in taking over the guardianship of Harry Potter and I am here to discuss this with you."

"I see, I take it then that Severus is not taking the guardianship himself?" Narcissa stated startled that Severus had not informed her of his plans. Then again the man could be absolutely annoying with keeping in touched. So although she was not surprised that she was finding out from Albus of all people she was slightly annoyed that she had had no prior warnings of this conversation. 

"I assure you Narcissa that it is not Severus's fault that you were kept deliberately in the dark of my visit today, I forbade him from speaking to you on the matter," Albus stated having seen the glint of steel in her eyes that he knew meant she was annoyed no doubt at Severus for not informing her of his visit. She seemed to take his words at face value and he was glad for this as they were the truth. "Now, no Severus is not going to take the guardianship, but I am not certain that you will either. In the end it will be a combination of what I feel is best and what Harry feels he desires."

"Well I presume you are not concerned with how I would provide for the child as it is quite clear that I have more then enough resources to keep two boys quite happy. That means you are worried about how I will be as a mother to the child," Narcissa said her words with a touch of bite to them. She was after slightly affronted that he would dare insult her ability to care for the child, but she kept her words polite and her tone light. "Let me begin by stating that I would fear Severus's wrath long before being concerned with what you would say where anything to happen to the child. As you can be certain he will be keeping a close eye on him. Of that you are no doubt aware?" 

"Yes of course, that is evident," Albus replied slightly startled that Narcissa would so openly admit she knew Severus would be keeping a close eye. Also unnerved that she feared his wrath and didn't seemed at all concerned about Albus himself. Just what did the boy mean to Severus? Now that was the pressing question, maybe he could learn a little more of the true depth of the situation he was now realizing was a little more complicated then he first assume. 

"Second I can assure you that I would love Harry as I love my own Draco, I have always wanted another child and to have one who would mean so much to my husbands closest friend and brother would be an honour to our family!" Narcissa continued in the same haughty tone. "I will of course answer any questions you may have, but tread carefully with what you insinuate about me in my own home Albus I am not a forgiving person."

"I have meant no disrespect Narcissa, I simply need to make sure you are aware of the depth of the child's past," Albus said softly, he could see now that he had started along the entirely wrong path in this conversation and he did not want to anger the woman before him. He saw her nod lightly and he continued, "you are aware why the child is in need of a guardian?"

"I know what Severus found at the start of term when I first mentioned taking," Narcissa stated, "that is enough for me."

"Be that as it may you need to know the full extent of boy's past," Albus said taking out a folder from his robes and handing it to the woman. She quickly took it and read through the files that Albus had submitted to the ministry as proof to take custody of Harry away from his relatives. Appalled and growing quickly angry at what she read Narcissa's cold mask slowly shattered until tears streamed openly down her face and her hand drifted to her mouth in shock. 

"Oh the poor child," She whispered having forgotten that Albus was there for a moment. The folder snapped closed and she looked up with shining eyes at the man across from her, "how could anyone do this to a little child? He's so innocent," she said her voice so softly, "just like Severus," she whispered to herself as she handed the file back not having noticed that Albus had heard her final statement. 

"I do not know Narcissa, but I do have some questions for you," Albus said taking the file and not bothering to comment on her last statement knowing he had not been meant to hear it, but he did file it away, things were not all as he had suspected they were. How much did he not know about the young teacher who had been brought to him when he was in his sixth year in Hogwarts after a particularly nasty act of bullying. Albus shook the thoughts away focusing on the here and now. 

For the next hour and a half Albus discussed Harry with Narcissa and he felt quite certain that the Malfoy's would offer the boy a genuine home and maybe they could begin to help the child heal. It was enough and he took his leave flooing back to his office after bidding Narcissa good-bye. 

* * *

Meanwhile Severus had been trying to figure out how to approach the subject of guardianship with Harry. His Monday lessons going about as good as he could expect. A melted cauldron later a handful of detentions handed and he was left with more questions than answer with his thoughts. 

Monday night found Severus sitting in his living room with a book the note he had gotten from Albus still sitting on his table when the floo went off and Lucius stepped through with Narcissa both looking at him particularly annoyed. Severus set the book down not bothering to get up one eyebrow quirked as he indicated the seats around them. Narcissa settled on the cough and Lucius took the same armchair he had occupied the last time he was here. 

"Severus it's deadly cold in here, will you not start a fire? For Merlin's sake you are going to catch you death in this blasted cold!" Narcissa scolded him as she waved her wand at the fireplace where a fire started merrily dancing almost immediately making the room warm and Severus just growled in annoyance. 

Lucius acioed the firewhiskey and started to decanter three glasses since Severus had yet to offer them anything. Severus glared at his friend clearly growing more annoyed that Lucius was making himself so at home and after the fire and the day he had had his temper was rising. 

"I like the cold," he stated irritably as response to being scolded. Lucius just smiled and shook his head.

"Relax Severus, were not here to annoy you," Lucius said handing out the glasses of alcohol. Severus took his and drank deeply stills scowling. 

"Why are you here?" He asked.

"Albus came over today to talk about Harry," Narcissa began. Lucius looked at her his eyes warning her to be careful how she went about this. 

"I know, he told me that he is approving the guardianship if Harry agrees to it," Severus stated looking again at the note on the table which said just that. 

"That's not everything Severus, you need to know what we found out," Lucius began, Severus looked over at him his eyes narrowed in confusion. Why was Lucius dancing around the point? This was not like his old friend.

"Well are you going to explain or just play word games?" Severus snapped sarcastically. 

"It's not that easy Severus, what we have to say will make you very angry and we don't want you doing anything rash," Narcissa said bluntly. Severus glowered at her. Just what the hell was going on? He had to wonder. 

"I'm already angry, so please explain before I resort to Legilimency to understand what the hell is going on!" Severus snaps after another long pause which did nothing for his patience or his already thin temper. 

"Actually that might not be a bad idea, it will certainly be easier then trying to explain," Narcissa said smiling at him. Now he was very worried, normally no one wanted a Legilimens poking around their memories. Never mind willingly allow it. His eyes narrowed on her. 

"And exactly who should I perform Legilimency on?" Severus inquired rather taken aback. 

"Me," Narcissa said. Bringing the memories of Albus's visit and what she had read to the forefront of her thought with one last look at Lucius in warning. Lucius nodded and Severus just caught her gaze skimming her thoughts. The content of the file she had read was enough to make his blood boil and his temper flare until he was shaking. He drew back quickly not to hurt her having no interest in knowing anything else. He glared at the fire for a long silent moment. 

"Sev?" Lucius asked softly. He had been watching the other since his wife had submitted to this. She had been right that Legilimency was the easiest way for them to tell Severus what Albus was keeping from him, but it also worried him that Severus had yet to do anything except get suspiciously still and calm. That was rather the exact opposite of what he had expected the moment he saw the shaking of his thin frame. 

"I will kill them," Severus said in a voice so low, calm and cold that Narcissa felt her heart clench in fear. That tone from Severus was not something anyone wanted to hear. 

"As much as I'd like to see that Sev, you can't," Lucius stated simply. He himself wanted to torture and kill them he knew that doing so was not the answer. The man turned empty cold eyes to his and Lucius felt the cold grip of fear. "If you do that you will be sent to Azkaban and that will not help anyone. You have responsibilities to think about."

Severus didn't speak again. His emotions may not have been showing on the surface as he had drawn so far inside himself that all that remained was a distant icy cold that was clearly making everyone uncomfortable. The truth was he was feeling an overwhelming mix of emotions and it was leaving him on the edge of control. His own past was brutally rising in his mind in flashes as the words on the pages he'd seen in her mind matched so many instances of his own abuse all that was different was that this was the boy's uncle and his had been his father. The child knew no different life and neither had he. Knowing that the child had been hurt and suspecting the extent was completely different to being faced with the full details on parchment. 

Anger warred with pain inside of him until he wasn't even sure what he was feeling himself and wanting only to see the tormenter dead. Which only reminded him of how he'd finally faced his father. A shiver went down his spine at that one. The Dark Lord demanded a sacrifice from all his followers and Severus's had been his father. The sweet satisfaction had been enough for him then. Now he knew what that had done to him. Where that had landed him. Could he kill in cold blood like that again. The answer terrified him, yes he could. Was he really that cruel. 

Pleading eyes met Lucius's platinum worried gaze. 

"You are NOT your father, Sev," Lucius stated in a firm voice and Narcissa looked over at her husband with one raised brow. She didn't know what that had been about, but Severus did. He nodded slowly and couldn't help the memories that were flowing through his mind. So long he had managed to keep all those damnable moment caged and yet now he couldn't seem to silence the demons inside his mind. Was Lucius right? Was he really that different? He'd killed and tortured for the Dark Lord, but he had never liked it. Even when he felt powerful and justified he hadn't had any pleasure from the task. 

"Sev," Narcissa said gently coming to kneel next too his chair and taking his hands in hers. Not realizing it he had leaned forwards and was resting his head in his hands while he'd been thinking. As she pulled his hands away he looked at her. Their eyes meeting. She continued, "I didn't want to hurt you, but I wanted you to understand. You deserved the truth and I know Albus wasn't going to give it to you. I can see why with my own eyes, but that doesn't change the fact you had a right to know." 

Severus nodded. Slamming the doors closed on his memories and drawing strength from the knowledge that he had helped remove the boy from the situation unlike his own situation. Maybe there was hope for the child. "Don't let him walk down the same road I did," he whispered softly. 

"I won't Sev, and I shouldn't have let you either I'm sorry for that," Narcissa whispered to him. She had never liked that her husband had gone to the Dark Lord on ideals of pureblood supremacy. Yes she was a proud pureblood, but she did not believe in the torture of innocents or their murder to achieve this. When Lucius had taken Severus she had wanted to fight him on that, but had been too young and uncertain of her own position to do so. Now she regretted the hurt that she had been forced to witness. The scars that had wounded her husband and her brother that now threatened to take her precious son from her. She knew from Lucius that Severus had left the Dark Lord's cause and for that she was glad. Maybe there was hope still. She had to believe that she could keep Draco free from that life. She would do anything to spare her child the same fate their lives had taken. 

"That is not your fault Cissa and you know it. You and Luc were always there for me," Severus said softly falling back into their childhood nicknames easily. She gave him a genuine smile and he returned it. For one of the rare times he allowed her to pull him into a quick hug. Which he did return if a lot stiffer then normal. Severus didn't enjoy physical contact at all and it was abundantly evident in his stiff posture and his stiff return of the embrace. Withdrawing Narcissa returned to her chair and the conversation shifted to the Christmas break in which Narcissa insisted that Harry must join them. Severus was fairly certain this would be a good idea and agreed readily. For the next three hours they talked about where they would be taking the children to a wizarding ski lodge up in the mountains. Severus didn't particularly like the idea of skiing, but he was happy to go simply to see the scenery and enjoy the cold. He did after all enjoy the cold quite extensively. 

* * *

For the reminder of the week Severus was still left with the dilemma of how he would breach the subject of the Malfoys taking over Harry's guardianship. He didn't particularly have any thoughts on this yet and it was how Friday found Severus. Still at a loss for how to breach a topic he had no doubt would not be well received. Since Harry and Draco did not seem to be getting along as Severus had hoped the boys would he was skeptical of how they would do in his potion lab, but he was determined. As Friday morning classes drew ever nearer to starting Severus checked over the clearly written instructions on his blackboard one final time. Satisfied that nothing was amiss there and that he had ever step clearly detailed and much more elaborate then the textbook did he walked over to the classroom door. 

Opening it saw the same hubbub of activity. He called out for silence before the class was given the chance to settle into their seats. "I want your essays on my desk right now," Severus called out to the students. A few loud groans were heard around the room, but the students quickly gathered up their essays and he sound wound up with a stack of paper which he neatly stacked off to the side to take into his office after class. 

"Today you will be brewing a simple cure for boils, the instructions can be found on page 23 of your textbook, however I have detailed every step for you on the blackboard, I would highly advice following my steps very closely," Severus instructed. "Now before we begin I will be assigning your partner, you will not be allowed to change partners so I suggest you make the best of it," Severus continued quickly. He started down the register ticking off names and calling out the pairs watching as the students shifted seats so that they were sitting side by side with their partners when he got to Draco and called out Harry's name he saw the two exchange a scowl and glare at each other but quickly obey and shifting seats so Harry was sitting next to Draco and Theodore was on his other side satisfied that Harry was far enough away from Ron that he might actually see the boy's true skills or lack there of he continue don down his list. 

As soon as that was done he gave the go ahead to get started. As Draco set up his cauldron Harry went to get ingredients pausing to place a large jar of cut root on his desk before going into the student cupboards. Severus lifted it up and was suitably pleased with the result of what he saw. Clearly the boy had taken his lesson to heart. A small smirk curved his lips as he took out the boy's essay from the pile and put a small mark along the top giving the boy five extra points for the extra work being completed and accurately done. He might be a harsh instructor and cruel with his comments as Albus put it, but he was fair. Setting the jar in the centre of his desk and the essay back in the pile he slowly began to walk around the classroom keeping a close eye on a few of the students who seemed to be genuinely struggling. He had to pause here and there and scold them for being dunderheads but was at the very least pleased when the Granger girl prevented the Longbottom child from putting in the wrong ingredients in a hiss. Normally he would have taken house points for doing such a thing, but he decided to wait and see what the results of the girl's meddling would yield. 

As he passed Potter and Malfoy he was extremely pleased to note how the two were chatting in hushed voice amicably and it seemed as if their potion was the best he'd seen so far. He had expected no less from Malfoy, but he was pleased to note that Malfoy was teaching Potter what the other didn't know instead of teasing the child. This could prove fruitful. After all he wanted to place Potter with the Malfoys. What surprised him more was that Potter was actually asking Malfoy's advice when he wasn't certain and listening when the other boy answered. 

As the end of class drew nearer he was quite pleased that only one close call was to be had and this seemed to be working quite well to have the Gryffindor/Slytherin teamed up. There was a lot less animosity and hostility in his classroom which was far more conductive to potions. It also meant he was a lot less likely to lose his cruel tongue and temper on the dunderheads. 

Walking back up to his desk he called out, "I expect you to each bottle a small vial of your potion, label it with you full name and place it on my desk, then clean up your work area completely before you are excused from class."

He watched with satisfaction as the students slowly gathered their vials and labeled then before lining up to place them on his desk. For the most part the results were not half bad, a few were horrible and would definitely need to work hard on making their potions better. As the class finished cleaning up and began to gather their things he had to call a few of them to clean up better since their area was unacceptable, but overall he was pleased. Silence fell moments before class was to be dismissed. 

"I expect a two foot essay on the properties of this potion class dismissed!" He called and watched the students begin to file out of his classroom to a general hubbub of noise and activity, "Mr. Potter please stay behind, you as well Mr. Malfoy," Severus called softly knowing his voice would travel to the two who returned to their seats looking quite confused. He saw Weasley hesitate and called out "Not you Mr. Weasley I am certain that Potter can take care of himself on his own, now be off to lunch!" Ron hesitated one moment before leaving and Severus was tempted to take points off for that, but he restrained the conversation he would have to have with the two boys was something that was a touchy subject and he did not fancy having emotional boys to deal with. 

"Come to my office," he stated simply as he grabbed up the stack of essays leaving the jar of cut root on the desk in his classroom he'd find it a spot on the shelves. He had a plan for that jar. The two boys followed him both looking at each other in confusion before taking their seats as Severus added the essays to the pile of marking he had on the desk and sat down on his seat. 

"Mr. Malfoy, would you kindly go back to the potions classroom for a few moments I must have a word with Mr. Potter alone, I will call you when I am ready for you to come into this conversation. You may get started on your homework," he said and watched the startled look cross the boy's face before he was obeyed. The child knew better then to argue with Severus. When the door to his office closed Severus regarded the child before him. 

"Do you remember at the start of term when I picked you up, what did I tell you?" Severus asked of Harry. 

"That I wouldn't be going back there sir?" Harry asked confused and quite a little scared. 

"Yes, we have to discuss where you will be spending your summer holidays," Severus started and watched the expression on the boys face go from confusion to simply fear. 

"Can't I just stay here?" Harry asked wishing that the other man would say yes.

"No Mr. Potter you may not. No child is allowed to stay at Hogwarts after term ends," Severus replied and was about to start explaining when Harry jumped in. 

"Then where will I go?" Harry demanded his voice rising in volume. 

"There is no need to should Mr. Potter and it is polite to address me as Sir or Professor Snape, now if you would allow me to explain I would make that clear to you," Severus stated testily to the child who looked at him with wide eyes. 

"Sorry sir," Harry said in a hushed tone looking down. 

"Look at me Mr. Potter when I am speaking to you," Severus began and after the mumbled "yes sir," the boy did and he continued, "Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy have offered to take over your guardianship. They would like you to join their family, I spend my winter holiday with them and you will be invited to come with me to meet them at this time, if you agree that is." 

"Are they nice sir?" Harry asked tentatively not knowing anything about the elder Malfoys or for that matter not really knowing Draco outside of the fact that he didn't like the boy's attitude, but from the earlier potions lesson he was starting to see that Draco really wasn't a horrible guy, just a little stuck up, but then again Ron was really judgemental so he wasn't entirely surprised that Draco could be a little mean when the two were around each other. Realizing it now Draco had never been mean to him, not directly. 

"Yes Harry, they are very nice people, some of the nicest I know. You'll get the chance to know them over Christmas Break and you can make up your mind after that. I'll be keeping a close eye on you this Summer of course and you'll see a lot of me, so you won't just be dropped with them. If you really are unhappy there I'll find another home for you," Severus stated. The boy just nodded, "now I'm going to ask Draco to join us and explain the situation to him, are you ok with that?"

"Can I wait out there while you tell him?" Harry said suddenly feeling quite uncomfortable at being in the room while Draco found out about the Dursley. 

"If that is what you would prefer you may start on your essay while I speak with Draco, but you will both be in here after that as I need to make a few things quite clear to both of you," Severus said and watched as Harry left through the door knowing he would tell Draco to come and see him. Severus leaned back in his seat waiting. Sure enough Draco walked in closing the door behind him and coming to sit down. 

"Sir why is Potter looking so sad?" Draco asked him as he sat down. 

"He is uncomfortable with the topic of conversation you and I will be discussing," Severus stated by way of explanation. 

"Which is?" Draco asked. Severus drew in a breath. Was it just him or were all children impatient to know things without waiting for him to actually start talking. Merlin help him.

"I am getting to that Draco, have patience child," Severus scolded softly, "Potter will be joining us for Christmas break this year Draco."

"Why?" Draco said aghast looking at his uncle in shock. "I don't want him to join us Uncle Severus I don't LIKE him!" Draco said his hands balled into fists and his face screwed up in distaste. 

"Be that as it may Draco this isn't just for Christmas break. Your parents have taken over Mr. Potter's guardianship. He is going to be living with you during the summer break," Severus began and had to hold up a hand to forestal the child's angry outburst. He continued smoothly, "now before you throw a tantrum Draco you need to listen very carefully for I will only say this once."

"Yes sir," Draco said bitterly annoyed at not being allowed to scream at his uncle. 

"Mr. Potter has been hurt by his relatives and he cannot go back there, he is the child of someone very close to me and for that reason I cannot let him too far out of my sight, do you understand that child?" Severus asked gently. 

"You mean his relatives were cruel?" Draco said trying to understand. 

"A little more complicated then that, but essentially yes," Severus stated. 

"Ok, but why isn't he staying with you?" Draco asked. 

"Because I don't have enough time to properly take care of a child Draco, I'm very busy and I have a lot of responsibility, he needs a steady home life," Severus explained the partial truth to the child. He was not quite ready to admit that the full truth. After all it wasn't like Draco needed to know all the details. 

"So he'll be like my brother then?" Draco asked. Seeming to calm down as he thought about that. 

"Think of him as your little brother Draco, yes," Severus said gently smiling at the way Draco seemed to take that in. Knowing Draco had always wanted a brother. 

"So I have to be nice to him then?" Draco asked frowning. 

"That's what I need to talk to both of you about, but I need you to understand Draco that you are going to have to be patient with him, he's never known what you share with your parents so he's not going to understand it and it'll be strange for you and him at first, but it'll all make sense in the end," Severus explained gently. 

"Ok," Draco said completely confused. Draco had lived a life of a spoiled and love child, he had no concept of what it was like to know abuse. Though his parents were strict with him they did spoil him. He was never given to doubt the love and care the adults in his life had for him. So he didn't really understand what Severus was trying to explain. 

"Go and get Harry for me Draco, I need a word with both of you and then you boys can go to lunch," Severus said and Draco jumped up and walked to the door of the classroom knowing better then to yell in Severus's domain he walked over to Harry and quickly the two boys were walking back towards him Draco already telling Harry all the cool things his new home had and al the stuff he wanted to show Harry. Severus smiled, this could be a good thing for both boys. When they both sat down and fell silent he regarded them. 

"Now I know you are both in rival houses, but I need to make it quite clear that I expect you both to remember that you are brothers first so while it is ok to have some light hearted competition it is not ok to demonstrate the level of aggression I have seen from you in the past am I making myself clear?"

"Yes sir," they both answered in unison and Severus dismissed them. Leaning back in his seat he watched the door to his office close as the two heading off chatting together towards the great hall. He took out a black ink well from his desk drawer and a sheet of parchment before starting to write a letter to Lucius and Narcissa.


	13. Another Day Another Memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note:** this chapter is a little different. There's a large time gap between when this takes place and when the last chapter ended (mostly to move the story along so it doesn't get repetitive). This chapter is a little bit of angry Sev (yes there is a reason it's here, because this theme will come back to haunt Sev as the story progressed. The idea of him being overworked and excessively tired and stressed is an underlying theme in this. With how I have Voldemort having come back before the start of this story it adds a lot of pressure to Sev so I wanted to draw that out and showcase how it affects his work. You'll see a little more Sev/Minerva later on in this as well. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter anyways even if it wasn't my usual brand. You'll see other chapters like this crop up. Mostly I use them for character development and growth along with some interactions that influence how characters interact in later chapters. In this case as you'll see in the next chapter when the Order Meeting take place Minerva's and Sev's interaction will be thriving with tension... 
> 
> Something that has always sat strangely with me is if Dumbledore was the one who set the Fidelius Charm on the Potters home then he had to know that Sirius wasn't the secret keeper. So I'm going to assume this and I'm very sorry if this annoys anyone or seems just glaringly off to you, but for this story it's what I'm using. Also I have and will always love Sirius/Severus hate filled exchanges it's just sooooooo much fun!!!!! It just doesn't feel like the Order without Sirius being an ass to Severus and Severus being an ass back...

September proved to be a long and rather annoying month for Severus: between Death Eater meetings every other week. A potions club he'd started after being badgered by a few his upper year students who seemed genuinely interested in getting extra time in the lab. Keeping an eye on Harry who seemed determined to get into trouble every opportunity he got. Draco's apparent mood swings from big brother to adversary with Harry. His own Research project taking a turn for the worse and blowing up half his private lab, which he was still trying to put to rights. Now of all times three nights before the start of October Albus wanted to start up the Order Meetings again.

This particular week saw Severus loosing his temper a few times at the students in his class as they attempted to test his rules. It was always this way in the first few weeks of school, students testing his boundaries, he was just finally having enough of it. When Friday's first year potion's class came around he was at the end of his temper and knew he had a meeting with the Order of the Phoenix on Saturday morning of all things. This was not something he was looking forwards to having on a Saturday morning. To say his mood was fowl was an understatement. 

Standing at the front of his class after having handed back the essays he'd graded from last week and instructing the class on what their potion would be for that day he was glaring down at the silent room. Thankfully after last weeks debacle resulting in a destroyed cauldron and too much chatting the students were silent and working hard. That however didn't stop one particular group of dunderheads from throwing in the wrong ingredients.

Two tables back from Harry and Draco's work area Crabbe and his partner were looking into a cauldron which had turned from a bright bubbling green as it was suppose to to a thick tar black. The sharp hiss alerted Severus to the danger and he stalked down towards their cauldron and not a moment too soon. He had just seen the rising black tide and cast a containment charm around the cauldron when it overflowed. 

"Everyone to the walls! Make your way to the back of the classroom and stay SILENT!" Severus called calmly to the class. Castling a series of stasis charms over the rest of the cauldrons to prevent anymore disasters. Satisfied to hear the students moving Severus turned back to the potion that was still producing a rising tide of black nastiness. Knowing that as the contents expanded his containment spell wouldn't hold forever he looked down at the remains of ingredients on the table knowing from what was there and the results it had garnered that the boys had thrown in some porcupine quills instead of porcupine quill dust. Sighing in annoyance he drew out a vial from his pocket and opened it. lowering his charm from around the cauldron saw the black sludge fall and spread to the floor around it, splashing on the desk and seeping towards where he stood. He turned the vial of white liquid with small floating flecks of green which sparkled when the light caught the fluid as it fell into the black mess and as quickly as it had begun it was over the remainder of the liquid within the cauldron turned clear and he cast a stream of water at the fire to extinguish it completely and help cool the cauldron. 

Sliding the vial into his pocket he scourgified the mess before rounding on the students with a deep scowl on his face. He surveyed the gathered class at the back of his classroom. A few looked scared, some looked intrigued and a few looked taken aback. 

"Return to work," was all he said when he was assured none of them were harm in any way. As Crabbe and his partner returned to the desk he still stood in front of he said, "clean up your work and put away your things, you will both receive zero for this day's potion." 

Without another word he left them. That was always what he told students who exploded their work all over the lab. It would serve to teach them to pay closer attention. As the rest of the lesson finished up he handed out two more essays as he always did each class, one on the properties of the potion they had just handed in and another on the procedure for next week's potion. Always the standard two feet in length. If they didn't know that by now four weeks into term they would never learn. 

As the class filed out he slumped back into his seat and glared a hole at the vials before him. Reaching out he took each one in turn. Performed the quick checks that told him on the viability of the potion before marking a grade next to each name on the register pleased to note that the Longbottom boy seemed to have managed to brew something not entirely Troll worthy. Frowning at it he judged this result was Poor, it was borderline Dreadful, but at least it wouldn't kill anyone this week. Pleased to note he had a decent amount of Acceptable on his list this time rather then the handful he'd had last week. He had already announced that he would be holding a study session next Friday afternoon during their free period. He had warned them strictly that it would be structured similar to his theory labs and that they had better come prepared. There was no way he would stand for any nonsense from the dunderheads in his class this year. Not that he ever did mind you, but this last week had made him particularly against it.

His eyes narrowed as he thought about what he had left to do before tomorrows meeting. He wanted only to sleep. Having had no sleep the night before due to a Death Eater meeting and another rather annoying conversations with the headmaster over some rubbish. He was tired. His head was aching more then usual. Blasted headaches. He gathered this batch of essays and took them to his office. 

Pleased to find a perfectly steeped black tea waiting for him still steaming as if it had only just been made. He took it in his hands savouring the warmth. Sighing softly he leaned back in his seat and let his eyes close for a moment. When he reopened his eyes he took a long sip of his tea before settling in to grade essays. 

An unknown amount of time later found Severus asleep on his desk with a stacked of graded essays next to him and a particularly lengthy letter beneath his face and hair. His quill lay where it had fallen from his hand and rolled to hit the jar of open black ink. 

Severus sat bold upright the moment the light sound of knocking was heard on the door to his office. Blearily whipping his eyes with the handkerchief he kept in his pocket he glared at the clock. It read nine thirty pm. He looked down at the half finished letter on the desk. Taking in the open jar of ink and the quill laying next to it having dripped ink on his pristine desk. Concluding that he must have fallen asleep writing it he took the quill and set it in it's holder capping the ink before the knock on the door sounded louder this time. 

"Enter," he called in an irritated tone as he rolled up the parchment he'd been writing on. He hadn't realized that his voice had been far colder then normal. As he glared at the opening door he was surprised to see Minerva walk in. She had a frown on her face and her creased brow told him something was bothering her. 

"Severus," Minerva greeted pleasantly even though she was taking in the dark look on her colleagues face she remained pleasant. "I've brought you some dinner figuring you'd not eaten," She added shoving him the plate she had brought down with her. Severus didn't comment as he just glared at her. Minerva sighed closing the door and walking all the way into the room. "Really now Severus," she said exasperated as she set the plate down on the desk. He turned his glare from her to the food then back. 

"Why are you here Minerva?" Severus snapped not bothering to rise. He simply kept glaring at her. He did feel hungry, but he didn't particularly like the thought of showing it. That she started to bring him food reminded him too much of Albus and his nasty habit of threatening to force him to come to all meal times. 

"You look tired Severus," Minerva commented sitting down in the chair across from his desk. That caused Severus to glare even harder an expression that would have terrified most anyone. Minerva simply raised one eyebrow at him, "well are you going to eat or just glare at me?"

"Why are you here?" He asked again through gritted teeth. Not moving to take the plate. 

"Albus sent me down to give you this," Minerva said taking out a scroll of parchment and a small box from a pocket in her robes. "He also wishes me to discuss a few things with you," she began. "Eat," she added waving at the plate as he took the scroll and box from her. One final glare before reading the parchment. He didn't open the box and he didn't take the plate. He wouldn't until she left. 

"Really Severus," Minerva said exasperated as he set the parchment down and resumed his glaring. "What has gotten into you?" Minerva asked clearly getting annoyed with his lack of verbal responses and his constant glaring looks. 

"What is it the headmaster wishes me to know?" Severus instead asks ignoring her question. She looks pointedly at the food and silence falls over the room for several long moments. Severus takes the plate and makes a show of eating, knowing she won't leave until he does. He's hoping she'll at least start talking. He wants to finish his letter before he heads to bed and at this rate the time is only getting later. 

"There are a few things you need to know about who will be there tomorrow," Minerva begins smiling quite proudly as Severus does his little 'see I'm eating' display. He looks at her as if to say go on I'm listening and she continues. "Sirius Black and Remus Lupin will be there," Minerva adds quickly. 

Severus who had just been swallowing a piece of the shepherds pie he'd been eating chocked. This was why he hated eating when they had to 'talk'. Coughing for a few minutes to try and dislodge the food as his eyes watered. He grabs his tea and drink to clear his throat some more before finally speaking. 

"Why?" He demands clearly angry. He refrains from starting in on a round of profanity that he is clearly wanting to spew at this news. He forces himself to resume eating and waits. 

"Albus believes they are important to our cause, just as you are. Therefore he asked that I warn you they will be there and stress the importance of being civil with one another," Minerva continues ignoring the fact she'd caused him to choke with her words. She did find his antics amusing, but she wasn't about to let him know that. She didn't want to test his already temperamental state. 

"I will if they do," Severus said neutrally. He certainly wasn't going to get cornered into anything. There was no way he'd be civil with the two Mauranders if they were not forced to do the same. He could hold a grudge after all. For those two he held a deep and hate filled grudge. Just as much as he did for James. How he hated James and Sirius the most. Those bastards had made his life hell in school and he was damned if he'd let them make his adult life hell. 

"Severus couldn't you just..." Minerva began, but one look into his cold black eyes and the hissed interruption and she knew it was a lost cause. 

"NO! I absolutely refuse!" Severus hissed darkly. He would not agree to this. Not now. Not EVER. He simply would not. 

"At least don't curse them," Minerva said in defeat. 

"I will defend myself if the need arises," Severus said stubbornly, but he did add, "I however will not start anything." Though the words sounded as if they cost him something.

"Thank you," Minerva said knowing it would be the best she would get out of this conversation. "Well are you going to open the box or not?" She asked after a quick pause in which she watched him finish eating. She was deeply curious what was inside. Albus had only told her that it was important and should only be opened by Severus after he'd read the note. 

"No I will not," Severus said looking at her. Having read the note he absolutely refused to open it in her presence. He knew what was inside and he didn't want to think about it let alone let her see what it was or his reaction to it. It was already too painful just having it near him. How could Albus think NOW was the right time for this? After all these years that he would send this to him NOW? What was the man playing at? 

Something must have shown on his face even as he tried to hide his emotions because the next thing he knew Minerva was next to him and had her hand on his shoulder. He glared up at her and hissed, "do NOT touch me," viciously at her. His whole body had gone stiff under her hand and at his words she pulled back as if burned. 

"Severus..." She began but he rose so quickly it startled her into silence. 

"I am not opening this now, and I am not discussing this with you, now leave," Severus said his tone far too low and far too soft. That tone was dangerous. Minerva knew better then to stay around him when he took on that dangerous edge. 

"If you need me I'll be in my office then," Minerva said. A touch of hurt at the way he was treating her creeping into her voice. She left his office and Severus grabbed the box and note. Letter forgotten on his desk as he cast a locking charm on his office and headed to his personal rooms. Retreating into the den of coldness that he found enjoyable. The deep silence surrounding him as he set the box down on the table by the fireplace. He grabbed the decanter of his firewhiskey and a tumbler before coming to sit down already filling the glass. He drank it down in a long swallow and refilled it. 

He grabbed the note again. Drinking the second glass more slowly. It read.

_  
Dear Severus,_

_Lily left this in my care asking that I keep it for you in case something ever happened. Her exact words were 'keep this for Severus, in case I can't tell him I've forgiven him long ago. I just wish he'd forgive himself.'_

_It has been eleven years I've held on to this for you Severus, I think it's time you had it now. So many times I've wanted to give it to you my boy, but it never seemed the right time. I hope I'm not misjudging the right time, but maybe now you can put the past to bed._

_Albus Dumbledore  
_

Severus glared at the note and emptied the glass. No now wasn't the right time. Blasted fool. He refilled the glass and paused. Severus hesitated as he looked at the swirling liquid in the tumbler. He never had more then two glasses of any alcohol. To have more is to invite getting drunk. Getting drunk meant he'd be like his father. Revulsion swam up inside him. Repulsed by his own actions. By the liquor in the glass. Sickened that he was drinking. He threw the glass into the fireplace where it shattered spilling the liquid onto the empty hearth. The shards twinkling into the silence as they settled. Satisfied at his little display of anger he recapped the decanter and leaned back.

He knew what was in that box. The question was dare he open it. Could he withstand those memories? Was that why Albus had sent the box with Minerva? He wanted him to open it with her? What was the old man thinking and why would he do this to him NOW? 

His hand shaking he lifted the box. He could feel the moisture on his face and he knew he was crying. He could feel the ache deep in his chest that burned like fire. The same deep ache that always came with her name. He wanted to scream. He wanted to throw the box into the fire and run. He wanted to hold it to him and treasure it. All the while he felt tears fall down his cheeks and he didn't care. 

"Oh Merlin Lily, I wish you'd have lived," he whispered as he ran his hand over the box. His voice shook with the weight of the pain he carried around with him. His fingers hesitated as he slowly slid the box open. As he'd expected it a golden locket sat on the bottom of the box a carved doe set in bright white on a black stone in a golden oval frame. What he had not expected was the parchment beneath the locket that filled the rest of the small space. He slowly lifted the locket so it was cradled against his palm. The cold metal against his warm skin a heavy reminder of who this belonged to. He closed his fist over the locket and opened the first of the parchment find a note written in his own handwriting. 

He remembered the night he'd written this. That day he'd been buying some cuff links for his dress robes when he'd seen it. He'd purchased it right away knowing exactly who it would be for. He'd thought of her as he'd seen it. That night he'd sat in his library at Spinners End and he'd spilled out his grief onto the parchment. Attempting one final time to explain things. Knowing even as he did that he'd never get an answer. Knowing it was too late. 

He set that letter down not wanting to read his own words. Knowing already what they said. It hurt to much even just holding the letter. He let it fall back into the bod. Opening the second piece of parchment and he feels his world tilt. He recognizes that script. Even as he knows it will only hurt he cannot help but read the words she wrote.

_  
My Dear Sevie,_

_I had not expected to receive a letter from you, or for that matter a gift. It has been years since we've even spoken. I thought you'd forgotten about me. I should have known you wouldn't. Please stop apologizing Sevie, you've been forgiven long ago. The only one who won't forgive is you. You cling to this and you won't let it go. You won't move on. I wish you would move one Sevie, because I have. I know you won't get this, because I won't send it. It's better that way._

_Before you wonder why I think it's better, let me please say this. I miss you Sevie. I miss talking to you. I miss our time together. You always understood me, always knew just what to say. I wish I could talk to you now. I wish I could tell you that I'm pregnant. I wish I could tell you how scared I am. These are Dark times Sevie, and I need you here. I know it's stupid, I'm married to someone who used to hurt you so much and I'm so sorry for that. He's not like that really. If you knew him like I do you'd understand. I wish he knew you Sevie. I wish he knew you like I did. I know it's too much to hope that you'll come back and things can be better. I wish you and James could be friends. I wish I could have you back in my life Sevie, because I miss you so much. Yes it's stupid, but Sevie I really do miss you and I need you. I need to talk with you again. I wish that were possible._

_I'll never forget all the things that we did together. All the things you showed me. Sevie you made me feel accepted. You banished the fears that came with discovering I was a witch. You showed me the beauty of magic. I wish you knew that. Maybe you do? Do you know that Sevie?_

_If only you'd chosen a different side Sevie. That's why it's better that I don't send this. I think about you every day Sevie, do you know that? Do you think of me? There isn't a day I don't pray that you'll come to the light Sevie, your not a Death Eater. Your not like them and I won't believe it for a second. Something drove you there and I hope it wasn't me. I hope it wasn't because I was a prideful stubborn child._

_Sevie, I'm scared that I won't be a good mom. I'm scared that I'll be more like my sister then I care to think. Sevie I wish I could ask you what you think. I wish I could talk to you about all the doubts. What if I don't raise my child right? What if I make a mistake? How do I do this Sevie? How do I face this world all alone. How do you do it? I couldn't imagine not being surrounded by people who love me._

_I have so much family now Sevie I wish I could share them with you. The house is filled with laughter and joy. Warmth. Something you should have. I hope you do some day find it Sevie. I hope you find a family. You deserve it more then anyone. I just wish that I could be there when you read this. One day you'll read this Sevie and you'll know. I always loved you, maybe not like you loved me, because I don't think anyone can love like you do. I loved you Sevie and I hope you never forget that._

_Love Always  
Lily Potter  
_

Severus could barely finish reading the words. His hand was shaking so badly that the parchment was wavering making it hard to read. His crying wasn't helping matter either. He hadn't been the only one crying on this parchment. There were dried spots where Lily had cried writing it. He couldn't believe the words he read. It made his head light just trying to take it in. The parchment fell from numb fingers and he let it. He'd pick it up later. When he could see again. He opened his hand looking down at the gift he'd sent her that fateful day.

Slowly and terrified of what he'd see he popped the clasp. A tiny paper fell out and landed on his lap it read: my family. And he looked at the two halves of the open locket. One was him and Lily smiling up at the camera on the grounds of Hogwarts their first year. The other was Lily, James and an infant who was no doubt Harry. The newborn held in Lily's embrace. He flipped the partition and there was a picture of her parents. The only muggle photograph. The inscription at the back read: Always in my thoughts and prayers. Severus traced the words with his finger. He flipped it back over and looked down at the two halves which held his picture. She had put him in her locket as if he was someone important to her. That almost shattered him as he cried harder. His hands trembling now almost uncontrollably he fumbled to take the small piece of parchment and tuck it back in before it could be ruined by his tears. He closed the locket and just held it firmly to his chest. He let his body sink back into the chair and let the grief consume him.


	14. The Patience of a Slytherin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A further clarification on the Sirius situation. I'm only changing when he escaped from Azkaban. As far as the wizarding world is concerned he's still a murder. Peter has not been caught or discovered and Sirius is still in hiding. I'm simply stating that Dumbledore knew he was innocent from the beginning and had no abilities to do anything to prevent his incarceration. Again I'm sorry that I am breaking canon and I know you will not all agree with it, for that I am sorry. I hope you can still enjoy the story.

Severus woke with a start when he heard the sharp clatter of metal on stone. His eyes snapped open and he looked over at the source of the noise. He must have fallen asleep sometime during the night because lying there on the floor at his feet was the pendent. Bending down to retrieve it he groaned at the pain in his body. His hand closed over the cool metal and he slipped the chain over his head. He had always loved that about wizard jewelry the chain adjusted magically to fit the wearer. So he didn't have to worry about it being too tight for him. He slid it into his shirt so it rested against the skin of his chest. Feeling it's cold touch as a pleasant weight reminding him of better times.

Severus rose slowly stretching out the kinks in his aching body. Slowly bending back down he lifted up the letter and folded it back up placing it in the box. He gathered up the box and went into his room slowly placing it on a shelf that held a few other mementos he didn't look at. Closing the glass door over the case he reset the locking charms and proceeded to gather his clothing. Heading into the washroom not bothering to look at the clock. He didn't particularly care if he was running late or not. There was no way he was going to go to some meeting without at least cleaning up. Not to mention every muscle in his body ached from the uncomfortable position and he wanted a blisteringly hot shower to ease the ache. It was again something he was pleased of, when he entered the burning shower, that the jeweller he had purchased the locket from had cast charms to keep the locket from being destroyed by conventional means. Things like water, dirt and age didn't affect the locket. Something worth it's weight in gold Severus now noted. 

His shower was a slow and long affair and he didn't even care. What seemed like hours later to Severus he was dressed and ready. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. Sighing when realized he looked almost as he always did if a touch more tired then normal. So be it. At least he didn't show any physical signs from his ordeal last night. That was all he needed to be in a room full of Gryffindors showing weakness. He shuddered at the thought. How he loathed having to go to the meeting today. 

Glad to note his heavy robes obscured all signs of the locket and his high collar hid the gold chain from view. He turned and headed back to his kitchen for breakfast before he would head out. He gazed at the clock in passing and was pleased to note he had another two hours before he needed to be there. Breakfast was a quick affair and a silent one. Not that it ever was noisy in his quarters. Today however he had decided to enjoy the peaceful and quiet art of cooking. 

Finished with all that he sat down to read the paper and was instantly frowning again as he read the article. Gringotts had been broken into. He couldn't believe it, well he could, but still. This was not what he had wanted to read today. He'd known the Dark Lord had been planing to try and get the stone. Not that it was there, but still. He stared down at the moving picture before him and sighed heavily. He knew this would not end well for him. He'd be called no doubt to be tortured since the stone wasn't there. He finished reading the rest of the drivel that made it's way into the paper before setting it down. Retiring to his living room to do some research on his project. He was still trying to figure out what had gone wrong. It didn't make sense. 

The rest of his time went by quickly and soon Severus was setting the book down. Still no further ahead then where he'd been the day before. Sighing in frustration he mentally prepared himself for this. He knew he'd be met with hatred and suspicion. He didn't want to deal with it, but he had no choice. He occluded his mind making sure that his barriers were up and solid. There was no way he would show a hint of weakness to the Gryffindor hoard that predominated the Order. He scolded his features into a cold mask of disinterest and aloofness before walking out of his chambers. Taking the hidden passage that led down to a small exit near the Black Lake and then proceeded to walk down towards the forest and the boundary edge. He could have just flooed over since he knew the location well having lived there for two years in his youth. He didn't feel like it today. He wanted the brisk walk to gather his thoughts. 

Once past the boundary to Hogwarts Severus apparated just outside Dumbledore's Manor home. He couldn't of course apparate right on the grounds because of all the wards and protections around the manor. So instead he apparated in the woods nearby and slowly walked up to the front door. His movements swift and precise. His black traveling cloak billowing around him giving the ever prevalent thought that he was a bat of the dungeon. He particularly liked the billowing black fabric of his robes and cloak. It gave him a mysterious look and he enjoyed the fear it caused in the students when he walked up to them. Especially when he had that cold eyed glower that always made them shake nervously before his wrath. 

All too swiftly he arrived at the front gate and let himself in easily. He was not startled at all or even surprised to see the door to the manor open and waiting for him to enter. Swiftly entering he took off his cloak and handed it to the waiting house elf who closed the door behind him. Looking around at the entrance way he figured everyone would be in the den or living room so he headed towards the two rooms which happened to be side by side. Sure enough he found Albus, Minerva and Remus deep in conversation in the den. Allowing only a scowl to announce how unhappy he was at being here and in the presence of the Maurander he entered the room. 

"Ah Severus my boy, I see you arrived early, you remember Remus yes?" Albus said joyfully as he caught sight of Severus entered the room. Effectively silencing the conversation. 

"Lupin," Severus drawled in a cold voice by way of greeting. "Headmaster, Minerva," he added politely before coming to stand near them. Though still far enough away that he didn't have to engage in the conversation. 

"Snape," Remus said politely giving him a tentative smile. To which Severus scowled deeper. 

"It's good to see you this morning Severus, how are you?" Minerva asked. Severus deliberately did not answer her. He gave her a quick glance before turning to the headmaster, who had started speaking again. 

"The other's should be here soon, a spot of tea my boy?" Albus went on with a smile. Severus just glared at him. He hated that Albus felt the need to call him 'my boy' all the time it infuriated him to no end. Wanting to tell the headmaster he was not a child, but resisting the urge as it would be pointless. Luckily he was saved any further conversation by the arrival of Moly and Arthur Weasley, Nymphadora Tonks, Alastor Moody and Sirius Black. Not everyone, but getting close. Sirius didn't seem to see him yet and for that he was glad. Then again Remus had stepped forwards to greet the man and hid him mostly from view. He was fine with this. If he didn't have to speak to the Maurander he'd be happier. Actually he'd be happier if he didn't have to be here. Glaring intently at the fireplace he took a seat as others began to do so. Sitting himself in the furthest reaches of the room. Where he wouldn't be near the fire, but where he didn't' have his back to the door. Unfortunately for him, he couldn't slink into the darkness at the edges of the room as Albus had formed a large circle with the seats. That meant he had to sit in the circle. It didn't stop him from remaining silent as their quiet conversations broke out while they waited for everyone to arrive. 

"Why is -he- here?" Sirius said loudly to Remus no doubt so Severus would hear him. It took everything in Severus not to say something bitting back at those words, but he waited. Wanting to see what Remus or Albus said to the matter. Bidding his time. 

"Albus already explained that Sirius," Remus said exasperation thick in his tone. It was clear that they had discussed this before. If Remus's tone was anything to go by it had no doubt been often. 

"But he's one of -them!-" Sirius pressed darkly. Oh if only knew, Severus thought wryly. How naif the other was. 

"Again Albus explained that too," Remus replied with a groan, as now the room had fallen silent at Sirius's ever louder tone. Severus turned his dark gaze to the two of them glaring intently. 

"He can't be trusted!" Sirius declared into the silence stubbornly. 

"At least I'm not a wanted criminal," Severus said bitingly having had enough. 

"No your worse," Sirius spat out. Severus glared even more intently at the man daring him to speak again. Sirius continued in the same hate filled tone, "at least I didn't murder for -him!-"

Severus was rising before he even realizing it. Anger pulsing deep within him, "you have no idea what you speak of," he spat. The words caustic. Sirius rose from his seat and took a step towards Severus wand drawn. 

"Enough of this," Albus said calmly not having moved. "Both of you sit down," he instructed looking from one to the other. Severus had draw his own wand and taken a defensive stance. As he'd told Minerva he wouldn't start anything, but he wasn't going to stand there and let Black curse him. He also had no intention of being the first to withdraw from the confrontation. He was a proud man after all and regardless of what Albus said. He'd stand and fight before he back down from a Maurander. He'd never be at their mercy again. Not now.

"Sirius sit down," Remus said having risen and laid his hand on his friends shoulder, restraining him no doubt. The man turned to glare at Remus. 

"Yah he's not worth it," Sirius spat before turning back to his seat. Ignoring the barb Severus took his own seat once more. Realizing that during their exchange the rest of the members of the Order had arrived and the meeting was about to begin. 

The usual conversation that went on at the meetings from the others flowed around the room. To which Severus barely listened he was still fuming over his mild confrontation with Sirius. How dare the other imply he enjoyed the horror's he'd been forced to do. Severus couldn't even bother to pay attention to the regular trivial details of the Order as he glared a hole at the Gryffindor who infuriated him so much. He hated the man more then he had ever hated him in that moment. Severus knew what kind of monster he'd become. He knew it ever damn night when he closed his eyes. To have it thrown in his face by Sirius of all people only made him angrier. Just once he wanted someone to look at him with something other then hate and mistrust. He would never betray them. He would die to keep them safe. He faced death and exposure for them more often then he could count and still they didn't trust him. They never would. He knew that. 

"... Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic was replaced by Dolores Umbridge a really nasty piece of work," Arthur was saying when Severus clued back into the conversation. He'd already know this, but it was interesting to hear it from the other side. What little he knew had been relayed to him by Lucius a few days ago.

"Do we know anything about her?" Remus asked softly. 

"Not much I'm afraid," Arthur continued. "Only that she seems to be really close to Fudge." 

"Severus, what can you tell us about her?" Albus finally spoke up. Startling everyone else around the room who didn't know that she had been chosen by a Death Eater. 

"Why would -he- know?" Sirius spat the words out as if they tasted fowl. 

"Because she was chosen by the Dark Lord's orders," Severus spoke before anyone else could interrupt. He continued quickly, not wanting to waist time with pointless words and already desiring to be gone from this meeting. "I only know what I have been told, I was not present when she was brought before the Dark Lord. My source however is very reliable," he said the words while meeting Albus's eyes knowing full well the other would understand. He would not say Lucius's name to these people. He would not betray his friend. Unlike what they thought Severus always tried to protect everyone as best he could and was quite candid with his words. He continued, "she was chosen because she is easily swayed by Dark Magic. She already has an affinity for being cruel. Her dedication to Fudge and her high ideals made her ideal for the Dark Lord's purposes. She was easily swayed to his wishes, but was not permitted to remember him. She believes she is acting of her desires and motives."

"So she is not under the Imperius curse?" Arthur asked.

"No. There was no need for that. This is far subtler Dark Magic and will be far harder to break," Severus responded easily. 

"Does this mean she's a Death Eater then?" Moly asked a little confused. 

"No," Severus said a little harshly. Putting effort into gentling his tone at the raised eyebrow Moly gave him he continued. "As I stated she is made to believe she is acting of her own choices. The Dark Lord is simply guiding her choices to be what he desires her to do. She will have no memory of meeting him. The Dark Lord has insured that."

"Very well," Albus said to move the topic of conversation along. He continued softly having gathered their attention. "Do you know what he wants with her?"

"Not for certain, he hasn't shared that information with me," Severus replied honestly. The conversation moved to theories and speculation. Not caring for such things Severus let his thoughts wander back to the meeting with Lucius making sure he had not missed a crucial detail he should add or mention. Satisfied that he hadn't he sat silently and waited until something else caught his attention. As it often went at the meetings Severus didn't let all the information filter into his mind, there was far too much and he needed to choose what was important and worth his attention. If he tried to take in everything he knew from experience he would only end up working himself up. He'd end up with too much on his plate again. He already had too much on his plate as it was he didn't need more. He was perfectly happy to let the others take care of the other things the Order did. 

"Severus, do you have an update on the stone?" Albus asked at last and Severus looked at him. The two shared a long look before Severus spoke.

"Not more then last time we spoke Headmaster," Severus started. Before continuing. "If you've read the paper he has already moved against the last information he had on it."

"That I knew dear boy," Albus said giving him a warm smile. Severus glowered angrily at him. How he hated how Albus always called him 'boy'.

The meeting continued from there and Severus again fell into silence. That is until Lucius's name was mentioned. At that he paid close attention. 

"Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Malfoy will be taking over Harry's guardianship starting next summer. We don't have to worry about added protection for Harry over the Christmas break as Severus will be with them. However, during the summer I will require those of you who are willing to help me in strengthening the wards around the Malfoy residence," Albus was saying. This was news to Severus, but he wasn't at all surprised. After all the current wards wouldn't prevent the Dark Lord from getting in. Not that Lucius couldn't strengthen his own wards. Not that he himself hadn't already been planning on adding a few. The problem was wards had magical signatures and both of them were Death Eaters. Signatures the Dark Lord new well. Meaning their wards wouldn't be as strong against him as those by Albus for example. This was a good idea. He was surprised however when quite a few of the Aurors who were part of the Order volunteered. He had not been expecting that. He had been expected to have to defend the Malfoys ability to care for Harry. 

"Your putting my godson with Death Eaters?" Sirius growled darkly. "Albus have you lost your mind?! They can't be trusted! They will kill him! Or worse send him to he-who-must-not-be-named in a box! With WRAPPING PAPER!" Sirius was yelling by this point and had stood up. Glaring at Severus. 

"Lucius would never hurt a child!" Severus said into the silence that had fallen as Sirius's shouts echoed around them. "Nor would Narcissa. They treasure children! If you think for one minute that they would harm Harry in any way or allow him to be harmed you are even more blind then I first imagined. Have you never seen their son?" Anger was quickly rising in Severus. How dare the man accuse his friends thus. 

"Their DEATH EATERS, and so are you!" Sirius growled. "You can't be serious Albus, this is insane!"

"Lucius and Narcissa would never bring Harry to Voldemort Sirius, calm yourself," Albus said ignoring the flinching from those around him. Severus hissed at him at the name. Deeply disturbed that Albus used it and even more so in his presence. He was quickly glancing around as if afraid just saying the name had brought him here. 

"I won't allow it, I won't let him be anywhere NEAR Death Eaters," Sirius said viciously. The venom in his words filled the room. 

"It's not your choice to make," Albus chided gently. 

"The hell it's not! I'm his GODFATHER!" Sirius shouted aggressively. 

"Not according to the ministry dear boy," Albus reminded him. Sirius looked murderously at Albus. He continued, "you and I both know you cannot take him Sirius. The boy has been abused, I don't even know for how long, he needs a stable and loving family. He needs to be allowed to grow up without fear. You can't give him that Sirius. As much as you love him. Your position is just too dangerous to allow you to raise the boy. You know that!"

"I know," Sirius said in defeat finally sitting down. He spoke softly the next words, "why can't anyone else take him?"

"I need to keep an eye on him Sirius," Albus said gently. Though Severus knew what he meant even though most of the other's didn't. He'd made it abundantly clear that he was to be kept out of this discussion as much as possible. Albus continued, "I cannot allow him to go to the Ministry. He will just become a trophy by a family who wants to say they have the 'boy who lived' with them. Or worse he will become a pawn in their political agendas. Harry doesn't deserve that. The whole reason I placed him with his relatives besides the Blood Wards was so he could grow up away from all that. He's suffered enough because of that mistake. I won't allow him to suffer more. The Malfoys have agreed to take him and after careful consideration I have agreed to allow it. That's my final say on this Sirius. I won't be discussing it again." 

"If they so much as make him shed a tear Severus I'm going to make you bleed," Sirius threatened dangerous as he glared at Severus. Severus scoffed. As if that scared him. The Dark Lord did worse to him every time he was forced to stand before him. Like he was scared of what Sirius could do to him. Not that it mattered, he had no intention of seeing Harry hurt. 

"This poses a problem," Kingsley Shacklebolt said speaking for the first time. All eyes turned to him. He continued, "how will they keep him from he-who-must-not-be-named?"

"They would never willingly let him be taken, of that I am certain," Albus began slowly. "However, the more pressing concern is, how will they keep Voldemort from harming them." 

"That will take careful planning," Severus stated simply. He was shivering at Ablus's casual way of saying the Dark Lord's name. He had been thinking a lot about this and as Albus turned to him he nodded. In his teaching voice he started in on his thoughts. "They will have to convince The Dark Lord that raising Harry will mean he isn't a threat. They will have to convince him that they can keep him from getting involved. It might be possible to bid our time by allowing the Dark Lord to think that he has the child in his grasp. Maybe if we play our cards right we can convince him that he can change the child to his cause."

"Are you insane?" Sirius demanded in shock. "You want to give Harry to he-who-must-not-be-named?"

"That is -not- what I said," Severus sneered at him. Glaring intently at the man who dared to accuse him of such a thing. Growing angry Severus snapped, "I did not remove him from that -home- only to put him in front of the Dark Lord and watch him die! I am not the cruel bastard you all seem to think I am! It so happens that I actually have morals."

"A Death Eater with morals, really?" Sirius sneered at him. He continued coldly, "you might have everyone else fooled Snivelly, but I know you. I wouldn't put it past you to take him straight to you-know-who the moment our backs are turned."

Severus rose not bothering to reply to the callous words being thrown at him from Sirius. He simply turned and walked calmly out of the room. His robes billowing behind him as he went. Pausing only to take his cloak out of the closet in the hall. Unaware that someone was following him. Unaware of what transpired in the den as he left it. Not bothering to care anymore. He'd had enough and he certainly wasn't going to sit there and listen to that crap. He couldn't believe what Sirius had said to him. He could feel his body trembling in rage. He dared accuse him of being able to hurt a child, of willingly taking him to the Dark Lord. He couldn't even begin to think those thoughts as more anger flared to life deep in his chest. 

"Severus wait a moment," Remus called out after him walking quickly to reach Severus before him left. Severus turned to face him one eyebrow raised, but otherwise remaining silent. It was clear to anyone who looked at the angry slit of his eyes and the deep scowl on his face that he was beyond angry. With a deep breath Remus pressed on, "I'm sorry Severus. About everything we did back in school. I never wanted to..."

"Do not pretend to me that you are innocent Lupin and do not apologize I will not be discussing this," Severus said with narrowed eyes, but before he had even started to turn around he heard Remus speak. His next word set Severus's blood on fire and his anger overwhelmed his tongue.

"I only ever wanted to belong Severus, you have no idea what it's like being alone and hated," Remus whispered sadly. His voice filled with regret. 

"Oh of course I don't, that's why I'm the spy for the Order isn't it? That's why I was always sitting around in darkened corners reading? That's why I hardly ever spoke!?" Severus said sarcastically not realizing his voice was rising in volume as he spoke the bitter words until he was practically shouting the last sentence. He took a threatening step towards Remus. His voice turning low and dangerous, "I wonder Lupin, did you ever look at me when we were children? Do you even look now? Or are you really that blind!" Without another word Severus turned on his heels and stormed out. Remus watched him leave the door slamming closed behind him. Severus left before his tongue could spill anymore weaknesses then he'd already admitted.

* * *

Remus was left standing there shaken to the core of his being. Staring at the door he wondered how his attempt at an apology had turned so bad. What could he have done differently? He just wanted to explain to Severus why he'd acted that way as a kid. Why couldn't the man just listen. Then it dawned on his as the last of his words sank in just what he'd been missing. Instead of wondering why the man hated him so much he was left wondering how he'd missed all the signs? How could he have never noticed that Severus had been just as alone as he was? How could he not notice Severus was still alone. Where he was accepted by the Order members, Severus was always doubted, as no one really knew where he stood. Sadness and regret welled up in his chest as he realized Severus was right. He was blind. 

"Moony," Sirius called having come to stand beside his friend. He could see the tears trailing down Remus's eyes. Anger sparked in his own, "what the hell did Snively do?"

"Shut up Sirius," Remus said darkly glaring at his friend, "stop calling him that."

"What in Merlins name happened?" Sirius said in utter shock. Why was Remus sticking up for Severus of all people? Remus just shook his head. Unable to tell Sirius what he'd just learned knowing the man would just use it against Severus. For once he didn't feel like he could trust himself to speak. He didn't want to cause anymore hurt to a man who had clearly suffered enough of that from all of them. 

"I'll kill that greasy git!" Sirius thundered glaring a hole at the door. He couldn't for the life of him understand what had gotten into Remus. 

"Don't," Remus said shakily. His eyes turned pleadingly to Sirius. 

"Damn it Moony, he deserves at least a good hexing! He made you cry for Merlins sake!" Sirius barked dangerously. 

"He didn't do anything Sirius," Remus pleaded. 

"Oh come on Moony, you really expect me to believe that?" Sirius demanded. 

"It's the truth boy," Moody called out from where he stood in the doorway having seen what had transpired and finally done with being silent. To hell with what Dumbledore wanted. He'd had more then enough. He'd been the only Auror present when Dumbledore had interrogated Severus under veritaserum when he first came to Dumbledore and confessed his sins. He'd learned some things then about the man. Things that had changed his views on where Severus stood and even though he'd vowed to Dumbledore to be silent. He wouldn't be silent any longer. 

"What do you know about it?" Sirius demanded. 

"More then you!" Moody grumbled before going on. "I wouldn't speak about things you have no knowledge of boy!" 

"I know more then you think! That filth is a Death Eater or are you all to blind to see that!? Do you really think one such as -he- could possibly be reformed!? I tell you he's going to betray us all! He can't be trusted! I told you..." Sirius began his voice angry and rising until he was shouting at the others. Annoyed beyond reason and desperate to make himself understood. 

"ENOUGH!" Moody thundered effectively silencing Sirius. "I'm only going to say this once, and no Albus I'm not going to keep silent. I don't care what you say. It's time they knew. If it wasn't for them Severus wouldn't be a Death Eater in the first place! You think he can't be trusted? He's not the one who bullied a terrified boy! You think your so much better then him? Let me tell you boy, your not! You might have chosen the right side, but you never had to stand alone and face your greatest fears! You were never forced to do atrocities that would make your stomach churn to even hear! You have no idea what he's been through and you can just shut your mouth! Unlike you, I actually was there when he was interrogated about his Death Eater activities. So I do know for a fact he's on our side!"

"I never bullied anyone," Sirius denied adamantly. 

"Yes we did Padfoot," Remus whispered from his side. Total silence fell at those soft words and Sirius looked at his friend suddenly all anger was gone from his features. He shook his head in denial. No it couldn't be. It wasn't true. He could tell from Remus's expression that it was and for the first time in his life he wasn't sure what to do or say. Had they really been the reason Severus became a Death Eater? No surely not? 

"Until you understand just what he lived through, I'd suggest taking a look at what's been done to Harry. Then realize that the same thing was done to Severus. Only no one bothered to help him, like he helped Harry," Moody finally finished his cold words in the resounding silence. 

"It was not your place to tell them Alastor," Dumbledore chided softly. 

"I don't care Albus, I'm tired of the animosity, it's time people understood," Moody said bitterly. He drew in a breath and continued addressing them all, "were fighting a war. A war for our very way of life. We can't be fighting amongst ourselves if we have any hope of winning this war. We need all the help we can get. So I'm going to tell you now to set aside your differences or leave. Unless we are united in our cause we will never succeed."

Complete silence fell as the others looked anywhere but at Moody. Not being able to meet each other's gazes. They had all doubted Severus at one time or another. Some more then others, but hearing those words made them all wonder why he kept helping them. Just how much did the man bear alone. No wonder he never stayed for dinner after the meetings. No wonder he never talked to any of them unless absolutely necessary. No wonder he lived in solitude and kept even his closest friends and allies at a safe distance. No one had ever been there for him.

What Moody hadn't know or expect was how hard the words would hit Sirius. Sirius who had known a level of this abuse, that both Harry and Severus had. Sirius who had never thought Severus could come from a bad home. Had always assumed the quiet boy was just plotting another prank on them or some way to take Lily away from James. Sirius had never even considered that Severus's deep friendship with Lily had any other roots. Now he was left awash with remorse and self loathing. He'd done to another what he'd hated most being done to him. He was no different then Severus and that thought made him feel sick. How could he have been so wrong? Would it really change his actions and words though? Severus had a way of getting under his skin. He knew he wouldn't ever be able to treat Severus as a friend, but maybe he could make the attempt anyways? Would the other man accept it? Could he even do it? In the face of the Slytherin's biting tongue? Sirius was left reeling as he stood there in the Headmaster's front hall watching Remus slowly pull himself together.


	15. Punishments and Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING:** Heavy spoilers in this chapter as I am using direct quotes from Deathly Hollows for the words spoken in some of the memories. I will be putting up a note to warn that I am using the spoken words from the book. 
> 
> **Author's Note:** So after much deliberation I've decided to omit the actual torture scene from this chapter. I felt a little bad to leave you all hanging on a cliff hanger as to weather or not the Order had been revealed or Severus's role as spy. That's why I left the torture scene out. So that there was more impact from the rest of the scene. To be fair and not make anyone smack me with a 2x4 in their desperation to know what happens (I joke of course) I've also taken the liberty of holding on posting this chapter until I had the others written so I didn't leave you on the cliff's edge for too long. Enjoy! 

Severus didn't particularly care that he'd left the Order meeting early. Or that he'd stormed out in anger. Nor did he regret his parting words to Remus. He was half way down the lane when the Mark on his arm had burned. He'd sighed  and gone to meet the Dark Lord and found himself alone. Though not unusual it was troubling. The next few hours had found him being punished as he had assumed he would be. This time though his punishment had been far worse then just a couple of rounds of torture. He had been forced to endure those and the Dark Lord's attempt to break his mind. Along with some other Dark Magic that had left him on the brink of madness. That wasn't anything new. Being tortured that long wasn't something that most survived intact. That he'd been allowed to walk away was the only thing that had persuaded him to leave. 

He couldn't help but be thankful that his Occlumency had held. How many more times could he have endured that punishment and held out? The thought terrified Severus. His head was aching horribly and he longed only for his bed. 

That however didn't stop the memories from flashing through his mind. He had just made it back to his room when his anger slowly began to ebb away leaving him feeling cold, tired and remorseful. It wasn't the kind of cold he felt when in a room without heat. It was the cold that stemmed from the hollowness in chest when he felt the deep pain inside himself. He always thought he was used to being hated and mistrusted by those he was trying to help, but the ruth was he really wasn't. Every time he was reminded of how little they thought of him it always cut him deep. Only one person had ever seen through everything to his core and she was gone. His hand slowly closed over locket pressing it painfully into his chest as his knees finally gave out. He fell to his knees on the cold stone floor of his living room. Tears flowing freely down his face. 

* * *

_Severus stood in his usual spot in the circle of Death Eaters. Young and eager. Determined to find the power he always heard the Dark Lord talk about. Craving that power. He could still remember the words he'd told the Dark Lord not four nights ago. What he'd overheard. Now they would find out what the Dark Lord was going to do. He was excited. This meeting had already been going on for a while and he knew this was the last thing their lord would tell them before he dismissed them._

_"Victory is upon us!" The Dark Lord declared a cruel smile splitting his lips.  "I have discovered the identity of the child who poses a threat to our cause! We can kill him now and it will all be over! We will have won! Only Harry Potter stands in our way!"_

_Severus didn't hear anything else. Harry Potter. Lily's child. In that moment his world felt as if it had just shattered. He wanted to scream. To cry. Anything to make this not true. No. No it couldn't be. He found himself breathing to quickly. His world spinning. It took everything inside of him to stay standing as the reality of what he'd done sank into him. His words had led the Dark Lord to Lily. Oh Merlin. Not his Lily. He felt the tears prickling his eyes. He was beginning to panic and it was only when Lucius's hand closed over his shoulder that he realized everyone else was walking away._

_He wrenched himself away from Lucius and approached the Dark Lord. Falling to his knees before the man. An incredulous expression crossed the Dark Lords face before he spoke._

_"What is it Severus?" He asked. It was clear he was startled by Severus's wiliness to kneel before him without being ordered. That in and of itself spoke volumes of how serious this situation was for the other._

_"Spare her my Lord, I beg you. Spare Lily Evans. Do whatever you want to the others, but please spare her," Severus begged. Knowing it was useless for the man before him held no mercy. Still he had to try._

_"Why should I do that?" The Dark Lord asked narrowing his eyes. Severus new he couldn't tell the man he loved her. If he did he knew the other would just scoff and ignore his plea. "Do you want to play with her yourself? Does she hold a fancy for you Severus?"_

_Those cold word made him sick. So twisted was the Dark Lords notion of love he wanted to cry at the very thought of anyone 'playing' with Lily. Anger was quickly winning out and he knew he had to be careful. He nodded not trusting his voice to utter words while he was at war with his emotions._

_"I'll see what I can do," The Dark Lord said dismissively and Severus knew that was all he was going to get. He rose unsteadily and stilled his mind, using all the skills he had to occlude his thoughts and emotions so he could stand tall and cold. Turning from the Dark Lord he walked towards Lucius. Knowing the look of pain in the other's eyes all too well._

* * *

Severus wanted to scream as the memories assaulted him. How he hated when these memories rose up. He was shaking uncontrollably wrapping his arms tightly around himself as he rocked back and forth. He realizing his breathing was ragged and he had slumped completely to the ground.  So he was no longer kneeling, but sitting fully on the ground. Trying to still the emotions. Trying to push the memories down. Trying and failing. 

* * *

* * *

 **NOTE:** Anything spoke in this memory is directly quoted from the book and doesn't belong to me at all. And yes I'm aware I'm re-writing a scene from the book. I'm trying to stay as close to it as possible without copying it, but I need it to be from Severus's perspective and much more detailed. Sorry to anyone who finds that offensive. I won't be doing this very often if at all again. But this is important for the next part.

* * *

* * *

_He was desperate. He needed to save her. He knew without a doubt he couldn't trust the Dark Lord. Not anymore. The final stone had fallen. The final blow. He had to save her. He had to. It was consuming him. For the first time since he was seventeen years old he contacted Albus Dumbledore.  He was going mad he could feel it. His mind was breaking apart. Too much fear and grief and pain swam inside him. Too many mistakes. He was done. He just wanted to lie down and let it all go. He was shaking uncontrollably as he tried to stand strong on that windy hilltop.  All the while he was wondering why Albus called him here. The storm was raging around him. Everything making him shake and turn at every sound. Fear pierced his heart._

_Then he saw that streak of light that marked Albus's arrival and he fell. Terror and the disarming spell hitting him together. He sank to his knees wand gone from his grip. No. He wanted to scream. Thankful for the rain falling overhead that obscured the tears running down his face. The wind whipping his hair and robes around him. Making the man standing before him look even more terrifying. He was shaking, but he didn't know how much of that was from fear and how much was from the cold._

_"Please... Don't kill me," he begged. Already wondering why he had bothered trying this. No one would ever help him. No one ever had. Not true. He had to remind himself. Albus had tried, but it  had been too late already. He had been too far gone then. He couldn't have been saved. The pain of that hit him deep in his chest and he wanted to scream._

_"That was not my intention," the rather cold voice sounded from above him. His eyes were wide and wild. Looking up at the cold ice blue orbs. He had never heard the jovial man being so cold before and it made him shake uncontrollably. Would the man really listen to him now? Or was he just as doomed to watch it happen. Was it already too late. No he had to hope. He had to try. One final time. He couldn't just give up._

_"Well Severus, what message does Lord Voldemort have for me?" Albus asked. The name made Severus gasp out in fright his hand flying to his mouth. Shaking his head in bewilderment. He knew that Albus was not afraid to speak the Dark Lords name, but to hear it so casually spoken. It froze his heart and made him struggle to draw breath enough to speak._

_"No... no message... I-I come of my own account," Severus said his voice wavering as he spoke. HIs words soft and low causing Albus to have to place a silencing charm around them. He was holding his hands tightly together. Unable to let them go. Unable to stay completely still. He found himself rocking slightly back and forth as he looked at the man with pleading eyes. He continued in a shaky voice, "I-I come with a warning... No... a request... please!"_

_"What request could a Death Eater ask of me?" Albus said, those cold words cutting to the marrow of his bones. He looked down fearful and ashamed. It was clear the man hated him now. Just as everyone else did. Just as they always did. One mistake. That was all it took for everyone to turn on him. Everyone always betrayed him in the end. No matter how 'good' they claimed to be. In the end he was nothing to them._

_"The-the prophesy... The prediction... Tre-Trelawney," he tried to say the words, finding his voice stuttering. His thoughts a mess. Everything flowing together. He wanted to scream. To cry out for him to save Lily. Anything to save Lily. Please. Just saver her. He thought trying to push those thoughts at Albus even as his words kept failing him. He felt sick. He wanted to scream. Needed to scream. Do something. Anything. He was being ripped apart._

_"A yes," Albus stated looking down at the man before him, "how much did you relay to Lord Voldemort?" Again Severus flinched away from him at the name. A small scream escaping his lips._

_"Everything... Everything I heard..." Severus gasped out. "It's for that reason... that is why... that is why he thinks... he thinks it means Lily Evans..."_

_"The prophecy did not refer to woman, it spoke of a boy born at the end of July -" Albus began, but Severus cut him off unable to hear more. He didn't have time to hear more now._

_"You know what I mean! He thinks it means her son. He's... He's going to hunt them down... Kill them all..." Severus was panting harder now as he spoke. His words coming in short gasps. Each one punctuated by panic._

_"If she means that much to you," Albus began and Severus felt his world fall apart. No. Please. He had to help. He had to. Severus was desperate. Anything to save Lily. Albus continued with those cold harsh words, "surely Lord Voldemort would spare her. Couldn't you ask for mercy for the mother in exchange for the son?"_

_"I have... I have asked him!" Severus almost screamed the words. He had tried. And he knew it was fruitless. The Dark Lord would not spare her. He wouldn't show mercy to anyone. He didn't know mercy. Surely Albus knew that? He had to know that._

_"You disgust me," Albus said. The contempt in his tone made Severus shrink down until he felt he could fall no lower. It did not matter. He didn't care about himself anymore. He needed to make sure she was safe. She had to be safe. No matter what Lily had to be safe. Albus continued in that same cold tone, "You don't care then about the deaths of her husband and son? So long as you have what you want they can die?"_

_Severus said nothing for a long moment before he spoke again his voice breaking, "Hide them all. Keep her - them - safe. Please." He would do anything. Anything to make sure Lily was safe. She had to be safe. It was all that mattered. Finally an answer came._

_"And what will you give me in return?" Those cold harsh words would haunt him always. There was always a price. And he would always be paying it. Redemption._

_"In-In return?" Severus repeated. It sounded like a question. In reality it was not. He was defeated and done. He didn't care anymore so he spoke the truth. "Anything."_

_"Stand trial, under Varitaserum," Albus said his voice soft. Severus just nodded. He didn't have it in him to speak anymore. "Good I expect you to come to Hogwarts tomorrow I will be waiting for you there," without another word Albus vanished and Severus fell completely until he lay curled up in a ball on the rain soaked ground letting the tears wash over him. Letting the grief and pain pour out into the stone beneath him._

* * *

"No! Stop!" Severus begged, but it was no use. The memories were not people who he could hex into silence. He wished that they were. Wanting them to be silent. To be gone. The world was spinning so badly. He just wanted this to stop. He knew it wouldn't though. It wouldn't stop. It only ever stopped on final scene. On one final moment. Every time these memories came they always ended the same. Always the same. How he wished he could change the outcome. 

* * *

_Ragged and worn down by everything Severus staggered from apparating outside the boundaries of the school. He could still feel the dampness of the night on his clothing and from how his hair clung to his face. It had still been raining when he'd pushed himself up and apparated to Hogwarts. Now he stood shivering before the gate. Cold and drenched to the bone and not even caring. He faced his fate and knew he would end up in Azkaban. It was what he deserved after all. He didn't deserve anything less. Maybe he would get the Kiss before he went mad. Or was he already mad? He didn't know. Did he really care? That answer terrified him. No he didn't._

_Albus and an Auror stood just outside the gate as he made his uneven way towards them. He felt so small and hopeless standing before them. Something cross Albus's features as he looked at him. Severus didn't know what it was. He didn't care either._

_"Come, we have everything set up in my office," Albus said, his tone much more gentle then it had been the night before. He only nodded, what was the point of speaking. Was there really any point? Was there really any hope of redemption? He didn't know._

_Albus put his hand on Severus's shoulder to guide him and was disturbed to feel the other stiffen completely beneath his hand. As he steered the other through the closed gate he had to wonder at that. Letting him go he saw him visibly relax and that drove home exactly how badly Severus had been treated in the past. He'd suspected, he'd known much, but this confirmed it. He looked over at Alastor who hadn't missed the reaction either. The Auror was keeping a keen eye on Severus. It left Albus wondering just where he'd gone so wrong with this child._

_They made their way through the silent grounds towards castle. It was too dark for any student to be around at this hour. Leading Severus up to his office seemed to take no time. Soon he was sitting on the chair facing his desk._

_"Place your wand on my desk please Severus,'"Albus said, startling the silent male with his gentle words. Severus didn't hesitate. He took out his wand and placed it on the desk. Albus slid it to the other side well out of reach. He picked up a vial. "Do you know what this is?"  Severus nodded. "I will ask you to drink it all before we begin."_

_Albus watched as the young potions master took the vial and downed the whole thing in one gulp. Setting the empty vial down on the desk._

_"What is your full name?" Albus asked._

_"Severus Tobias Snape," Severus replied. Cringing as his middle name was forced from his lips. How he hated that name._

_"Who are your parents?" Albus pressed_

_"Eileen Prince Snape and Tobias Snape," Severus answered though he cringed again at saying Tobias's name. His tone had softened at the mention of his mothers name._

_"How long have you been a Death Eater?" Albus asked._

_"Since I was eighteen," Severus replied honestly._

_"Why did you become a Death Eater?" Albus asked and Alastor looked at him pointedly. But the next moment saw both man staring openly at Severus who was looking at the floor avoiding their gaze._

_"He promised power. Told me that I would never again have to be hurt by that muggle. Told me I could defeat the Maurander and never have to be at their mercy. He promised me power. Power to be stronger then them. To never be weak again. He promised me a place to belong. Offered me a chance to prove myself," Severus admitted softly._

_"What Muggle is that Severus?" Albus asked clearly curious._

_"Tobias," Severus whispered. Unable to say his full name even with the truth serum in his veins._

_"Do you realize the error of your ways?" Alastor asked as Albus had completely fallen silent. He could see that Albus felt as if he'd failed Severus. His eyes had grown shinny and his breathing was slow and controlled._

_"I realized that a long time ago," Severus admitted softly._

_"Why didn't you leave then?" Alastor pressed knowing the answer already._

_"Once you bear the mark the only way out is death," Severus replied deadpan._

_The questions kept coming and Severus kept answer. He would have answered them even without the Varitaserum. The only difference was this was easier. He didn't have to feel to answer. He simply answered and let his mind be silent. He was too tired to have put up a fight and he didn't have any desires to. For the next few hours they questioned him until Albus called a stop to it._

* * *

Severus had pressed his hand into his head. It hurt so badly he wanted to scream again. Realizing he'd already been doing that from the ache in his throat. What he had failed to realize was that someone was pounding on his door. Now that the memory had faded he heard it.  Sighing he pushed himself up until he was kneeling. Taking out the handkerchief from his pocket he wiped his face to make sure it was clean. Rising until he stood fully he went to the kitchen and splashed water on his face to remove any other traces. Outside of the redness around his eyes he couldn't see any other signs. Satisfied with that he walked wearily to the door and opened it. 

Minerva stood on the other side looking horrified. He blinked at her expression. Uncertain what had happened. 

"What is it Minerva? You look like you've seen a ghost," he commented stepping back to let her into his rooms. He was far to tired to stand at the door and speak. He closed it once more and headed the armchair by the couch and sank down gratefully. Minerva sat on the couch watching him rather intently. 

"Are you alright?" Minerva finally said. Evidently looking for injuries. He had them, he just wasn't going to tell her about it. Now that his mind didn't seem to be falling apart he might manage to see to them before he passed out from exhaustion. 

"I will be," was all he replied. It was as close to admitting something was wrong as he got. 

"I came by earlier, to see how you were doing after the meeting, but you weren't here. Albus said you'd probably been called. Is that true?" Minerva asked looking intently at him still. He nodded. She was taken aback by his lack of responses. Although he wasn't normally chatty he wasn't usually this silent either. She continued pressing, "Severus tell me what happened."

He shook his head. He couldn't. Not right now. He couldn't think straight. His head was pounding too horribly for him to form thoughts. The memories were swimming up and threatening to swallow him again. Minerva's eyes seemed to widen at the visible reactions she was seeing cross his face. He didn't appear cold and aloof. He looked young, hurt and lost. Things she had never thought to see from her young colleague. She'd never seen such expression on his face before and in that instant she knew something was really wrong here. 

Severus leaned back in his seat in the fallen silence and let his eyes closed. Merlin he was exhausted. He might have started to drift asleep as Minerva's critical gaze took in the sluggish movements wondering what wounds were hidden by his layered clothing. Before either of them could do anything else the floo activated and a worried Lucius stepped through. 

"Merlin," Lucius whispered as his eyes immediately found Severus. "I feared you'd not made it back," the man said quickly. His steps taking him to Severus. His hand reaching out to push the curtain of hair away from his face so he could look down. It was evident that the other had not noticed Minerva. "Damn it Sev, open your eyes. I need to know what he did. He didn't tell us much. But by Merlin what he said was enough. Come on. Open. Your. Eyes!"

Severus couldn't figure out why in Merlins name Lucius sounded so worried. It wasn't like he was dying or anything. He blinked slowly up at the man. His eyes slightly unfocused and dilated so he couldn't really see the finer details of Lucius's face. "Mfine," he slurred softly trying to reassure the man. 

"Like hell you are," Minerva said, getting up and staring at Lucius and then Severus. She continued before Lucius even had a chance to react. "Now just what is going on here?" 

"The Dark Lord was angry, and he tortured Severus in private. He called us afterwards and gloated about how he'd made Severus grovel at his feet and warned us that should we fail him again we would be next. Honestly that is all I know," Lucius said after a long moment of hesitation. He didn't know if he should trust her. Albus had told Lucius that Minerva could be trusted and if he needed someone he could call her. Seeing her here in Severus's rooms when he was clearly weakened meant he trusted her. Well as much as Severus trusted anyone. Lucius took a chance and at Minerva's widen eyes and soft gasp he knew she understood.

"Is that why he was screaming like someone was murdering him?" Minerva asked in a soft tone. Lucius hesitated to answer her. 

"No," Lucius finally said. "From what I can see from his eyes it looks like he might have been attacked. It's a well known fact that Severus is an amazing Occlumens. I wouldn't have put it past the Dark Lord to torture him by trying to breach those barriers."

"We need to get Albus," Minerva said and turned to leave. After a hesitant look at the fireplace. She considered flooing Albus, but Severus was known to be rather vicious with his wards. She didn't know what wards he had on the floo in here. "I will step out into his office to floo Albus, we will be right back." With that Minerva left them alone. Lucius looked over at his friend. The truth of the matter was he had no idea what to even do. He'd only seen Severus like this a handful of times. How much had he broken? What was at risk? Lucius didn't know. That Severus was still alive and free meant he hadn't betrayed everything. Or had he? Was this another cruel punishment? To make him watch as the Dark Lord took everyone he cared about away? Lucius shook his head. This didn't bode well. 

Absently his hand trailed down the matted and sweaty strands of hair, brushing them lightly away from the warm forehead. He heard the door open, but he didn't look to it. Whoever entered clearly had the passcode to enter Severus's chambers so he wasn't worried. He could always hex them if they posed a threat. He wasn't as paranoid as Severus was. Then again Lucius didn't have to live a double live like Severus did. Didn't have to be worried about his every word. At least not before. 

"Is he awake at all?" Albus's normally jovial tone was flat and held a deep worry as he spoke. 

"I'm not entirely sure," Lucius answered. Severus's eyes were fluttering open and close. As if he were struggling to keep them open, but the battle with sleep was winning out. Soon the welcoming darkness swallowed him whole and he slumped down in his seat further. 


	16. Damage Control

Severus came to slowly. At first he had no idea where he was or just what had happened. Blinking his blurry eyes he tried to focus. It was too dark, for which he was grateful given the migraine he currently had. He wanted to let himself fall back asleep, but he knew something wasn't right. He tried to remember through the fog of his mind. Something had happened. What had happened? Just where the hell was he and...

"... will he wake?" Came Lucius's voice as the door was pushed open. The words had caused Severus to loose his train of thought and try to turn his head towards the source. Only when his eyes fell on his friend he had to close them. The blinding sharp pain of the light piercing his too sensitive eyes made him gasp out. It felt like a shard of glass being driven from his eyes into his brain. He flinched visibly. He heard rapid footsteps coming towards him and the hiss of the door closing. He tried to will the pain away so he could open his eyes again. 

He felt a hand gently brush the hair away from his face. Lucius's fingers. He knew the faint smell anywhere. He knew that soft touch better then he cared to admit. He blinked his eyes opened slowly to look into the other's worried gaze. Noticing shapes behind Lucius, but being unable to focus on them. 

"Where?" He barely managed. He wasn't sure if he could speak more. His throat was raw and aching. Even saying that one word felt like swallowing sandpaper.

"At Hogwarts my dear boy, in the hospital wing. A private room," Albus said gently. Adding the last at the look of panic that flashed briefly across Severus's features. That only confused him more. What the hell had happened? When? How? He was so confused and his head hurt too badly to allow him to think properly. He wondered briefly who the third blurry shape belonged to, but figured it was one of two people: Minerva or Poppy. He wasn't in the mood to deal with either. He locked gazes with Lucius, taken aback by the level of concern he saw in the platinum eyes. 

"Sev, Merlin you scared us," Lucius said softly. Now Severus was really beginning to get freaked out. Were they all waiting for him to die or something? Feeling like he had to do something to regain normality in this surreal and uncertain situation he spoke.

"I'm not dying," Severus grumbled. Though in reality he didn't really know that. He just didn't like what was going on. He glared pointedly at Lucius who smiled down at him. If he thought he could move at all without passing out Severus would have sat up. How he hated others looking down at him. "Anyone care to tell me just what the hell is going on?"

"You were poisoned," Lucius said quickly. Well that explained a few things. No wonder his mind felt so clouded. He could think of a few poisons the Dark Lord would have used. None of them amounted to anything good. Most likely a tincture of Digitalis Purpurea as the base of whatever potion had been made. That actually explained a lot of the residual side effects he was currently feeling. The slight uncontrollable tremors. The blasted headache. He'd had this poison before. Severus couldn't help but wonder what hallucinations he'd had. Knowing full well that it would have stirred many memories. What had he told the Dark Lord under it's influence? He felt shaken. 

"You need to tell me if you know what poison was used Severus. We don't know if it would be safe to produce an antidote using Golpalotts Third Law," Poppy's voice drifted from next to Lucius and he just blinked at her. He knew why she was saying that. He'd warned her against doing just that if he was ever poisoned at a meeting with the Death Eaters. Too many of the poisons he'd created for the Dark Lord held a key ingredient that would interact with any antidote but the exact one. That would cause the antidote to become another poison and likely cause death. He shivered at that thought. Thankful this wasn't one of those.

"Common poison," Severus whispered hoarsely. "Antidotes. Private stash. Digitalis Purpurea," he said unable to completely form a sentence while his mind continued to swim making thoughts difficult. Every word he spoke burned his throat horribly and he hated the feeling. He heard retreating footsteps, but he didn't bother to figure out who was leaving. It didn't matter. It would be someone who knew where he kept his private stash of potions. Lucius sat down on the bed next to him and the slight shift of weight drew Severus's gaze towards him. He blinked at the lines that creased his friends face. 

Moments later Albus returned clutching a small vial with a blue substance. He handed to Severus who checked the label. Sure enough his script could be clearly seen. Written there was Antidote for Digitalis Purpurae based Poisons. Satisfied he downed the small amount in one swallow and closed his eyes at the sharp burning path the antidote left. He could feel his back arching up as the pain intensified when it finally hit his stomach. He had to bite down hard on his lip to keep from screaming as fire spread out throughout his body. It felt as though his very blood was on fire. Why did antidotes have to hurt more? He pressed his eyes closed tightly as the ponding in his head increased and for long moments struggled to draw breath. 

When he finally calmed down enough to open his eyes he found three extremely worried faces next to him. He blinked a few times at them his thoughts sluggish. Slowly the cloud in his mind began to clear. Memories began to slowly return. Some fussy and uncertain. Some clear and decisive. 

"Do you remember what happened?" Albus pressed when it was evident Severus was awake and with them once more. He knew that Severus was in a lot of pain and that his timing was horrible. He didn't have a choice they needed to know. What had happened and if they should be worried. 

"Punishment for my failure," Severus replied simply. He knew exactly what had happened. He just didn't know how to pieces all the shattered and floating memories together. Everything was mashed up in an unorganized mess. Old and new memories were floating around smacking into each other. That he wasn't too surprised about, used as an interrogation poison that caused slow death when combined with the right potion, this poison was designed to draw memories as hallucinations. It was vicious. It could also be administered on the skin. The Dark Lord knew by now that he couldn't get Severus to drink anything in his presence even if he tortured him to the edge of unconsciousness. 

"What failure?" Albus pressed, knowing by the slightly clouded look in Severus's otherwise pain filled eyes that he would need to ask specific questions to get answers here. He couldn't just ask Severus to tell his tale. It wouldn't work.

"I failed to deliver the stone to him, it was not in the vault as I had told him it would be," Severus said finding it easier to answer questions directly. He paused having a sudden thought, "are we spelled for privacy?"

"Yes my boy, I did that the moment I brought you in here. There are also a series of wards around the room, you are perfectly safe here," Albus confirmed. Not entirely true, but Severus wouldn't argue that at the moment. He was as safe as anywhere else. No where was truly 'safe' for him. 

"Besides the poison, what else did he use to torture you Severus?" Poppy asked. Needing to know if there was something more then the nasty cuts across his abdomen and arms to worry about. 

"The Cruciatus Curse. Sectumsempra. An assortment of his Dark Curses and Hexes that are designed to cause intense pain amongst other things, but not damage the body or the mind. A series of physical blows, probably when he got annoyed at my lack of words..." Severus trailed off for a moment as he thought. He was trying to figure out how he'd gotten into contact with the poison. He didn't know and that bothered him. 

"How much does he know?" Albus asked worried. 

"I don't know," Severus replied slowly. Trying to figure that out himself, "everything is confused. None of my memories make any sense. Their broken into pieces that don't fit together."

"Maybe if we asked direct questions it would be easier?" Lucius suggested. He knew how a session of torture with the Dark Lord could be. He tried not to remember his own. Shivering at the thought. He'd never know as much punishment as Severus. Though he had known quite his fair share since the Dark Lord wasn't a kind master. Any failure was met with torture. He had begun to wonder if the man lived on torture. 

"Alright, lets try that. Does he know you are a member of the Order of the Phoenix?" Albus started in on more questions. 

"No," Severus said with certainty. A slight hesitation, "I believe he suspects me though."

"Did he get any names?" Albus pressed.

"No," Severus replied.

"Does he know where headquarters is?" Albus asked. 

"I'm not sure," Severus replied honestly. At the small motion from Albus to continued Severus drew in a breath. "He saw when you took me in during my sixth year. After that... event," whispered words. He drew in a breath to continue, "he knows about your Manor, though I don't know if he knows that is where the Order is meeting."

"Unlikely, but we shall change headquarters to be safe," Albus replied simply. 

"Does he know about Harry?" Lucius put in before Albus could continued. It was plain as day the worry in his tone. 

"No," Severus replied firmly. "He knows the stone is here," he added tiredly a moment later. He closed his eyes. "He didn't break my defences completely. It was close," he whispered. Too close. He doesn't add the words, but they are evident. 

"Damn it Sev, you won't feel guilty about this!" Lucius began getting angry. He wouldn't let Severus like he'd betrayed them because of this. He kept going, "if this is what it took for him to get one answer from you. To breach your defences. Sev, you'd be dead before he got much out of you anyways! This isn't your fault!"

"He's right Severus," Albus said gently. He continued, "not many could have survived that and kept their secrets intact. Never mind their sanity."

"I'll argue the last point Albus," Severus whispered softly. At the moment he wasn't entirely sure he was sane. What sane man would even consider returning to face the Dark Lord after this? Not that this was the first time he'd been tortured, but they were getting more vicious. Ever since he'd been 'assigned' to spy on Dumbledore. He had to wonder if the Dark Lord was beginning to guess where his true allegiance lay. Could the man be that blind? The last image that filtered across his mind had him wondering.

* * *

__

_The Dark Lord leaned down until he was sitting on his hunches beside the body on the cold stone floor. His hand trailing over his hair and down his cheek. Pushing the matted strands away._

_"You've done well," whispered words falling barely a breath away from Severus's ear. Sending shivers down his trembling spine. The Dark Lord continued trailing fingers through the blood and seat that coated his hair and face. Speaking in the same hissed whisper, "I'm proud of you Severus. I'm going to leave you now. Do take care Severus. It would be a shame if you died now."_

__

* * *

He shivered at the remembered fragment. How he'd gotten off that floor and to his chamber was a mystery Severus didn't know. All he knew was that he was exhausted and he only wanted to sleep.

"It's time we let him rest," Poppy said gently trying to usher both men from the room. 

"I would like to stay with him for a little longer if that is allowed?" Lucius said his voice soft and those were the last words Severus heard as sleep slowly claimed him.


	17. Halloween's Darkness

Things went back to normal for Severus a few days after his release from the Hospital Wing. Though he did loose the fight with Poppy to be let out for Monday's classes. He was out by Wednesday and quite happy to be on his own again. There was nothing worse then being fussed over. How he couldn't stand all the fussing. It was starting to drive him insane. Though now that things had settled into the comfortable routine of daily life he didn't think on the events overly much. He simply continued on as he usually did. After all it wasn't the first time he was forced to survive torture like that. It probably wouldn't be the last time. What Severus had failed to notice was the change in a few of the staff who knew him more then others. Minerva mostly. Though the two of them always had a rivalry of sorts it was different now. She seemed to genuinely be trying to get to know him better. Something Severus didn't know how to take. Though the fact she made an effort to engage him in conversation at the staff table more then usual was something he didn't find he minded. 

The fact that October passed almost as quickly as September had with very little difference in the student body went unnoticed with Severus. Well at least at first glance anyways. There was very little the man didn't notice and the fact of the matter was he did notice a few things. Draco and Harry seemed to be getting along when not surrounded by Ron and Hermione, or just avoided each other most of the time. Something Severus found rather interesting. Then again he could remember a time when he'd made friends for the first time in his life. How he wanted to please them, even though he loved Lily and tried to spend as much time with her as possible. He always found himself seeking out his new friends. Even when he didn't fit in with them. Even as he tended to simply be allow to be a part of their group, but never participated. He could still remember the desire to belong. Silently listening from the edges. Never getting into a conversation unless they asked him something directly. 

A wry smile curved his features as he sat behind his desk grading a large stack of essay's and tests silently. He was reminiscing on his own first year. Yes, he'd often been silently reading in corners, but there had been times when he'd sat on the edges of a large group of Slytherins talking about the Dark Arts. A subject he'd taken interest in because of it's complexity. Well that and so he could learn something that could stop the Mauranders from ganging up on him easier. Since he'd not grown up as a Wizard he didn't know all the spells they did. That didn't mean he wouldn't bloody well learn. The memories came easily to him these days.

* * *

_  
What had surprised him was a cold Halloween day when he'd been sitting in the common room on it's edges in the dark corner he'd found to favour. A spell he'd learned had come in handy, making it so even in the absolute darkness Severus didn't need a light to read. The spell allowed his eyes to see the book's pages as if they were lite up. He had of course inherited all of his mother's potions books when his mother had finally found out he'd done accidental magic. He'd read them all of course. He had them still. Not wanting to risk his father's wrath with such precious texts. Right now he was reading a book on Advanced Potions from the library._

_"I don't get," grumbled one of the Slytherin's around the fire._

_"You don't get anything what's new about that?" Asked a cruel voice, that always sent shivers down his spine._

_"Yah, but Slughorn isn't going to let me out of the essay just because I don't ruddy understand."_

_"Well duh."_

_"Does anyone know why the armadillo bile needs to go in exactly five minutes after the lavender seeds?" the same grumbling whinny voice asked._

_"It takes five minutes for the lavender seed to fully dissolve into the potion and begin the binding process. At that point when you add in the armadillo bile it'll stabilize the potion. That's why it turns from a deep lavender to a light blue," Severus explained in a too soft voice from behind his book. He could literally feel the silence falling._

_"How the hell do you know that?" the whinny voice asked._

_"I paid attention," Severus snidely commented._

_"Your in first you?!" Demanded the third year's voice getting angry._

_"I can read! Unlike some," Severus sneered derisively._

_"He's got you there Avery," The same snotty female replied. Severus just grinned into his book. Ignoring them until someone slid into the seat next to him. He looked up to see the slim and rather gorgeous Slytherin female who'd spoken earlier. She gave him a wicked smile, "so your good at potions then?"_

_Severus regarded her slowly closing his book. Shifting so he wasn't pressed up against her. He did not feel comfortable being that close to anyone. Let alone the strange girl he didn't know who was in third year and clearly much older then he was. He didn't reply. Not that it was needed because she took his non answer as an answer._

_"Your going to help us with our Potions homework, and anything else your good at," the female declared and rose looking down at him. She continued with an ice cold glint in her eyes, "I wouldn't refuse if I were." She stated warningly before going back to her friends. Severus shook his head used to this kind of thing. He pulled open the book and went back to reading. If they could stand his attitude he'd help them. If they couldn't, to hell with them. He had better things to do then to waist his time on bricks.  
_

* * *

Severus blinked away the memory. It had been a pleasant one. Though the older Slytherin's never really became his friends. It had been nice to have housemates look after him a little bit anyways. So long as he made sure their Potions, Charms, Herbollogy and Ancient Runes homework was perfect. Not that it bothered him as he actually enjoyed those subjects. His own classes were far too basic and boring. Getting the chance to read their advanced textbooks was thrilling. From the silent brooding boy in classes you'd never know how brilliant he really was in school. He didn't make a habit of answering questions in class. Staying silent in the back. In the shadows. Taking notes studiously and learning everything that was given to him. 

Severus had often wondered why he thought of these memories at random times. It wasn't like visiting his past was really something he cared to do. Still some days he wound up walking down memory lane. He had hated most of his childhood. Only a few small snippets had been good and when he remembered one it left him oddly calm. Gazing at the clock on the wall he sighed. Great. It was almost time for the horrid Halloween feast. He'd grown to loath Halloween. After that fateful night he detested Halloween even more. Setting aside the last essay he'd graded he rose. Looking at the large teetering pile. He sighed audibly. 

The trek to the great hall wasn't a quiet one. Students were milling about the corridors in droves headed towards the feast that would be starting soon. Severus luckily didn't have to head through the throng for long. It was moments like this that he greatly enjoyed his 'bat of the dungeon' persona. Students literally moved out of his way not wanting to get detentions from him. He would have scoffed at them. Though the scowl that covered his features made him terrifying to most students. Inside he wanted to laugh at the nervous glances and terror filled expressions. Seriously did they expect him to turn them into bats? He was soon at the door that led to the corridor only staff used. He pressed his palm against the blank wall and it disappeared revealing the entranceway. Stepping through he felt the stone return into place. He walked down the hallway and up the slight stairs to the rear entrance of the Great Hall and out to the staff table. He took his seat next to Minerva. 

"Ah Severus, just the man I wanted to see," Minerva said smiling at him. He raised an eyebrow as he settled his robes around himself. She continued, "I've had half my third years come complaining they have detention with you Severus. A whole class? Surely they couldn't all have done something to earn detention."

"One of them sabotaged a potion that could have done serious harm not to mention the destruction it caused when it exploded. Since no one was willing to admit they had done it. The whole class got detention," Severus stated as answer. 

"I see," Minerva said her lips pressed into a thin line. Evidently the students had failed to mention that. She sighed and asked, "how's the first year team up going?"

"I haven't had anyone dumb enough to sabotage a potion yet," Severus replied with a sigh. 

"Well that's a start," Minerva replied, "though I still think potions shouldn't be taught with a Gryffindor Slytherin mix."

"I've already expressed my opinions on the matter Minerva, you are well aware of my thoughts there," Severus replied coldly. Not in the mood to revisit this. As Albus always shut this down anyways. It angered Severus, as if he didn't have enough bodily harm to worry about, no he had dunderheads from rival houses to try and keep from murdering him. Just what he'd always wanted. He grumbled sarcastically to himself. 

"Yes, yes," Minerva stated. Seeing that Severus wasn't in the mood and not wanting to get him riled up she changed the topic. Unfortunately for her, she chose one that was even worse. She gave a small smile and continued, "Taking any wagers this year on who will win the Quidditch cup?" 

Severus couldn't have been more shocked has she punched him. Actually that he'd have actually foreseen. This. Not so much. He glared openly at her, "I. Hate. Quidditch." He growled through clenched teeth. Why no one understood that was beyond him. 

"Oh Severus, still on about that?" Minerva said with a sigh. He simply remained silent and continued to glare intently at her. She had very clearly chosen the worse topic of conversation. Wanting to try and calm him she opened her mouth to speak when Albus rose. She turned to look at him and Severus relaxed into his seat his glare turning to a scowl. The only comfort he had in this far too cheery hall on this evening was his live bats flying across the ceiling. He glanced up at them every once in a while. 

He could still remember the day he'd stumbled across the colony of them when he was a third year. He'd been running trying to get away from the Mauranders as he had no desire to be bullied that day. He found a series of caves in his attempts to flee. Not even knowing where he was. He always loved the darkness, no one could see him in the dark. He'd slipped into the caves. Slipping further and further into their depths. After long moments of anxious waiting to see if they had followed him in, only to realize he was utterly alone. He'd calmed down and by then his vision had adjusted to the darker space and he'd gone exploring. Fascinated by the light reflecting crystals that had made it easier to see. He'd eventually come across the cave that had held them. He'd spent hours sitting on the floor looking up at them. Only realizing how long he'd been in the cave when they had suddenly taken wing and flown down over his head and out the cave. He'd been so fascinated with them that he'd run after them. Only to realize he was outside in the dark. After curfew. He had of course gotten a detention for it. 

Severus leaned back so he could discretely watch the bats and avoid conversations. He didn't fail to note that Quirrell was not in the hall. He really didn't care. Glad the blubbering idiot wasn't annoying him. Unfortunately though he knew he'd have to check where the moron had gotten too. That was his thought at least until the doors to the great hall banged open and there came the man. 

Stumbling as if drunk up the centre isle and up to the staff table. Severus didn't let his gaze wander from him. Disregarding what he'd said. Watching him crumple to the floor. He had a fair idea what the idiot had planned. One quick look shared with Dumbledore confirmed the man also knew. He knew what he had to do. He only hopped that the Dark Lord wouldn't get wind of this. Or at the very least that he would be able to explain why he'd done it in such a way that he didn't suddenly end up dead. 

Rising smoothly to his feet while Dumbledore did whatever it was he did. Severus and a few other teachers made their way out of the great hall and down the stairs at the back of the staff table. Quickly making their way around to the entrance hall. Since the troll was in the dungeons Severus was worried about his Snakes. His wards however, hadn't gone off to alert him to danger near their dormitories or his quarters. Satisfied that it would be safe enough to let his Snakes go alone without him. Trusting his Prefects to handle them at least. He watched the students flow down past him. He hurried across the entrance hall as it cleared. Knowing no one noticed him as the other teachers had followed Dumbledore down into the dungeons. 

His trek up to the third floor was quiet and quick. No one was around. Not even the ghosts. What worried him was Quirrell. Where had the idiot gotten to. Surely he didn't think he could get to the stone alone? Tonight of all nights? Surely not. No of course not. He wasn't that stupid was he? Well yes he was. Severus sighed annoyed and frustrated as he pulled out his wand and opened the door to the third floor hallway. It was unlocked which made him even more unnerved. Stalking down the hall towards the door he knew hid the path leading to the stone he could see the shadow moving in front of the door muttering to itself. He advanced towards it. Staying unseen in the shadows. Watching as the man opened the door and left it wide open. 

He saw his worst nightmare beyond the open doorway and lit wand. A giant three headed dog. Severus hated dogs. He would never admit he was afraid of them. He just simply would never admit fear. No he just hated dogs. He tried to convince himself of that as he stepped forwards after the imbecile. Quirrell for his part had frozen in fear. Standing right where the damn dog could get him. Moving forwards with quick and deft movement Severus crossed the few feet to Quirrell just as the centre head came down towards him. Severus grabbed the back of Quirrell's robes. Pulled. And felt the man fall. Causing Severus to stumble and loose balance. Letting go of Quirrell as the other landed sprawled just outside the door. Severus caught his balance a moment before he felt intense pain around his leg. He blinked and jumped back at the same time. Startled. He slammed the door close and locked it. For good measure. Looking down at his throbbing leg. 

He froze. Large open wounds could be seen through the torn fabric of his trousers. Blood slowly oozing down. Soaking the fabric and trickling uncomfortably down his cold skin. He heard a groan from beside him and didn't have time to dwell on the wounds now. He glared down at the man who looked startled to see him.

"Are you a complete imbecile?" Severus demanded. His voice low, cold and dangerous. Quirrell gulped. 

"I-I didn't th-think..." Quirrell began.

"Of course you didn't. Are you even capable of thinking?" Severus demanded sarcastically. "A troll, really? Now everyone will know something is amiss. They will no doubt come straight here! Right after they dispose of the troll. You complete moron! If I hadn't stopped you, not only would you be caught, you'd likely be dead from that monstrosity! Get out of my sight you disgusting whimpering idiot!" Severus said the last words so dangerously that he saw Quirrell whimper before slowly getting up and stumbling blindly away. He shook his head. Coward. 

Without a backwards glance at the terror Severus limped his way out of the third floor corridor locking the door behind him as he went. Slowly making his way down the steps and spotting Minerva and Albus in the entrance hall he joined them. Albus gave him a look. He shook his head in answer and they went together after the troll.

* * *

Hours later Severus was fuming. He had locked the doors to his office and put a silencing charm around the room along with a series of his best privacy charms. Certain he was now completely alone he rummaged through his potion cabinet. Grumbling about blasted dogs and stupid students. Recklessness and Gryffindors. How was he suppose to protected the blasted boy if he insisted on being in trouble all the time. Angry to a level he'd not been in a while found Severus roughly moving jars around looking for a few potions. He could have just aciod them of course, but the need to move and do something was far greater. The pain didn't bother him, he was used to that and it had dulled into a slow throb. The blood constantly running down his leg though was annoying him. He'd had to stop many times to clean away the blood as he'd made his way down here to insure no one saw it.

He'd just pulled down two more jars to add to the three already on his desk when a knock sounded on his door followed by a small noise of pain. He ignored it. Figuring it was someone who'd just go away now that they'd been shocked by the spell on the door. Good. He wasn't in the mood for visitors. Walking over to the next cupboard he pulled out bandages and a few swabs before closing it back up. He sat himself down on his desk and had just propped up his leg on the chair when a voice drifted into his room. 

"Severus I know your in there," Albus called. "I also know you've spelled the room for privacy. It has a nasty bite that spell, my boy. Will you open the door or must I continue yelling through it?"

Severus growled low in his throat. He'd set up the silencing charm so he could hear who was outside, but they couldn't hear him. He could simply alter the privacy spell to allow Albus to walk in and then redo it. Or he could just ignore the man. 

"Severus!" Albus called again. Sighing he knew he couldn't ignore Albus now. He flicked his wand towards the door. Cancelling his privacy spell and unlocking the door. Another flick saw the door open just a crack. That was all the invitation Albus needed before he let himself in. Severus relocked the door and reset the privacy spell before looking down at his leg. Not bothering to say anything to Albus.

"Severus, why didn't you go see Poppy about that?" Albus asked as Severus peeled away the bloodied material of his trousers. Revealing the wounds around his lower leg. 

"I can take care of it on my own," Severus replied firmly. Taking a numbing cream from his desk and slowly applying it around the outside of the wounds. 

"I am well aware of that, my boy," Albus started. A look from Severus told him this conversation wasn't going to lead to anything. Albus sighed, "very well," he stated knowing not to push Severus at the moment. Severus had conjured a bowl of cold water. Taking one of the cloths from his desk he started to wash away the blood from his leg. As best he could with the wound still weeping blood. 

"Why are you here Headmaster?" Severus asked. Finally deciding he wasn't going to just have the man stand and watch him tend his wounds. He didn't stop however. He grabbed up the antiseptic from his desk and took the swab. Applying a liberal amount to his open wounds. He didn't even react as the sting penetrated through the numbing cream. 

"I need to ask you what happened tonight," Albus said gently. Watching the man. He himself had felt these products before and couldn't understand why the bottle of pain reliever sat unused on his desk. 

"Quirrell let in a troll as a diversion to try and get to the stone," Severus stated simply. Taking the potion that was lime green from his desk and applying it with another swab. It was a general anti-venom that worked on most animal venom. Not specific enough to work on something like a venomous snake, but enough to work on a dog's saliva. In the event the beast had some for of venom. 

"I had figured that much, my boy," Albus replied. He continued as Severus replaced the cork on the vial. "I meant how close did he get?"

"A certain three headed dog," Severus growled in a dangerous tone. He took up the potion that would seal the wounds close and slowly started to apply it wincing as pain shot through his body. Worse then the initial bite. Done he set it down. 

"Why don't you take the pain reliever Severus?" Albus asked concerned by the flinch he'd seen. How could the man stand doing that without any type of relief from the pain he was clearly in.

"It'll dull my senses and make it harder to think clearly. I will finish first, before I take it," Severus said. "He will try again," Severus added. 

"I'm well aware my boy," Albus chided gently. Severus had begun wrapping the swiftly healing wounds with the bandages. He hopped they would be fully healed by morning. Though he knew some creatures had venom in their saliva that would make the wounds harder to close. It might take a few days more for it to completely heal if that were the case. He'd worry about it in the morning.

"You need to destroy the stone," Severus began. The age old debate they had had ever since he'd found the real one. Done with the bandages he dropped his leg and leaned back slightly on his desk. Grabbing the pain reliever and downing it in one swallow. 

"You already know why I cannot do that," Albus said gently. 

"Will you really wait until it is too late?" Severus asked incredulously. 

"Of course not my boy," Albus smiled warmly. Severus just glared at him with narrowed eyes. He wanted only to get some sleep, but he still had to check on his Snakes before he could retire for the evening. 

"If you'll excuse me I have work to do," Severus growled annoyed. He didn't feel like arguing this again.

"Why of course," Albus said heading towards the door. Severus canceled the charms in his office and unlocked the door. Rising he turned and left into his private chambers to change before going to the Slytherin Common Room.


	18. No Reprieve

Severus knew that he wasn't badly burnt from whatever had lit his robes on fire. Though he could still smell the stench of where the material had been scorched. That's what made his anger flare up. His eyes found Quirrell picking himself up off the ground as the game ended. Anger turned to rage as quickly as those eyes met the cowering man. Quirrell tried to get lost in the crowd but Severus was having none of it. Sending a quick charm at Quirrell he slowly made his way after the man. A trail clear as day visible to his eyes only. He caught up to Quirrell in a deserted hallway just past the Hospital Wing. 

Faster then either man could think Severus grabbed Quirrell by the front of his robes and slammed him bodily into the wall. Advancing until he had Quirrell lifted onto his tiptoes and his arm was pressed against Quirrell's throat. His wand left at his side in his left hand. His eyes dangerously narrowed and his voice so calm and low it had Quirrell squirming in fear. 

"I should kill you for that stunt," Severus spoke every word with such calm that it was evident just how much danger Quirrell was in. "You are beyond even the level of stupid I thought you were. How could you dare such a stunt! In front of the Headmaster no less. Have you lost your mind? Are you TRYING to get us killed? I should drag you before the Dark Lord right now and tell him how you've disobeyed his order. He wants the boy for himself. Do you not understand that? Are you truly that stupid!?"

That tirade was more words then most heard Severus say in one breath let alone in a series of short sentences. Each sentence dipping with more venom as the words were uttered. Quirrell whimpered. 

"Your pathetic. You ever do something that ridiculous again and I will end you," Severus said releasing Quirrell and stepping back watching the man fall to the floor whimpering. He was surprised only that Quirrell didn't wet himself in fear. Eyes glinting dangerous he hissed. "I'm not a man to cross Quirrell. You'd do well to remember that."

Without another word Severus spun on his heels and stalked away. His black robes billowing around him. This was why he hated Quidditch. Too many chances for things to go wrong. That Quirrell had dared to curse Potter's broomstick in plain view of the whole school had been beyond moronic. It was a level of stupid that Severus didn't know was actually possible. Quirrell was a danger. How he longed to just end the bastard. Knowing full well he couldn't.

The brief peace that had seemed to settle in Severus's life after Halloween had been quickly erased due to the idiot. Somehow Severus felt this was a foreboding thought to what was to come. As Christmas was quickly approaching and the Dark Lord had yet to call him again he knew it would be soon. Now he had another worry to concern himself with. Quirrell in his misguided idiotic way was trying to kill Potter. Something he'd have to watch even more closely now. Worse was that he already had to watch Quirrell for any more attempts on the stone. Luckily that hadn't happened yet. He pinched the bridge of his nose at the rising migraine. 

He'd barely reached the dungeons when he felt the burn on his left arm. Just what he'd wanted. More stress. Sighing he turned and walked back out towards the forbidden forest. Aware of the growing crowd in the entrance hall as they all gathered to talk about the Quidditch game. None the less no one seemed to notice as he slipped out the still open doors and walked briskly towards the forest. 

Disappearing into the trees he made short work of reaching the edge of the boundaries. Grabbing his mark in his right hand he apparated away and found himself at Riddle Manor once more. He took his place in the circle. Noting that Quirrell had yet to show up. Moron. He faced the Dark Lord as he started talking about how he would release their trapped companions in Azkaban. Severus knew that the Dark Lord wanted to keep everyone thinking he was still too weak to lead. Too broken. It had of course taken him a long time, almost eleven years, to regain enough strength to stand before them. He wasn't ready for the public to know. Soon though. Soon they would know. 

"Severus, why did Quirrell report that you prevented him from acquiring the stone," The Dark Lord suddenly said in a hiss. Turning to face Severus. Of course Quirrell had said that. 

"Because Quirrell is a weak minded fool!" Severus declared boldly. His voice laced with barely contained hatred. 

"Now, now Severus," The Dark Lord said smiling evilly. "Surely your not petty enough to deny me the stone because you have a grudge against the man."

"Never my Lord," Severus drawled. "He was marly too stupid to figure out that blindly going after it. After letting a troll into the castle was a sure way to alert the Headmaster to our presence." One raised eyebrow told Severus everything he needed to know. He continued with a faint twist of his lips, "he didn't tell you then? How he let in a troll. Then headed straight for the stone. Only to almost be eaten by a three headed dog?"

"No," was the hissed response as anger darkened the eyes. "Where is that imbecile?" 

"That's not all my Lord," Severus said in his softest and most cruel voice. Taking a vindictive pleasure at diverting suspicion onto the other. He continued after the Dark Lord turned those vibrant red eyes to meet his. The expression telling him to continue. "He tried to kill the Potter child."

Raw anger flared in those mindless eyes. Wild and uncontrolled. Savage and overbearing. Everyone around the circle could feel the malice and displeasure the other's magic enhanced. Severus felt a cold shiver run down his spine. Cruel words hissed out, "leave us." Just as Quirrell arrived gasping for breath. The Dark Lord spun on the Death Eater and everyone made a quick exit. Severus slowly walked backwards towards the exit and when the Dark Lord didn't call him back he turned and left. Satisfied he'd diverted the anger towards Quirrell. 

He was back at Hogwarts faster then the normal meetings took and found himself walking towards the Headmasters office. Once there he knocked and was told to Enter. Which he did swiftly shutting the door quickly and walking over to the seat facing the Headmaster. 

"Severus," Albus said surprised. "I had not expected you here so soon."

"There has been some interesting developments," Severus drawled before he started to explain the Quidditch game, the meeting of the Death Eaters that followed and their quick exit when the Dark Lord turned to Quirrell. 

"That was a little harsh don't you think Severus?" Albus asked frowning. Severus stared at him open mouthed. 

"He tried to kill Harry," Severus said bluntly. Albus's eyes twinkled at the use of Harry's first name from Severus's lips. Severus hadn't even noticed in his haste to defend his actions. 

"Could it be you've come to care for the boy?" Albus asked curiously. 

"Yes," Severus said with a sigh. As much as he wanted to hold onto his grudge against James. Harry wasn't James. He'd seen that in all the times that he'd tutored the boy. Seen the brilliance in how the boy excelled in his class. He didn't like the Weasley child, that child was always disruptive and the one time he'd come for a study session he'd earned himself a detention. He'd never shown up again. Harry and sometimes the Granger girl came. Almost every two or three weeks. He didn't know where he stood on the irritating girl. 

"Isn't that interesting," Albus said eyes twinkling. 

"Is that all Headmaster?" Severus growled low in his throat. 

"Oh yes of course, I take it you haven't eaten dinner yet then?" Albus said slowly rising. 

"I shall eat in my quarters I have work to do," Severus said. Rising and with a quick good-bey left. He had plans left to settle with Lucius about where and when they would meet up for the Christmas Break. He made his way swiftly to his chambers. Settling down at his desk he swiftly wrote a missive and sent it over with his owl. Knowing it would get there quickly and that Lucius would answer almost immediately he made himself a quick dinner. Settling in to wait for Lucius's arrival via floo.


	19. Where Loyalty Lies

Severus had already told Harry that he would be taking the train with the other students and that he, Severus, would be with Lucius and Narcissa to pick him and Draco up from the terminal. They would floo first to the Manor to get ready and pack what would be needed for the trip along with making sure all their Christmas shopping was done. If it wasn't they would get a chance to go to Diagon Alley to finish up, then the next day they would head over to the lodge via floo. Since they would be spending from the start of break until the 27th of December at the ski lodge they would need to have all their Christmas things with them. Severus knew that neither Harry nor Draco had been able to go Christmas shopping yet and so it was almost a certain thing that they would be going to Diagon Alley. However Severus had already done all of his. He was quite glad as he hated shopping. He would go of course, but only because Narcissa would insist. The twelve black presents were already sitting on his living room table. He'd already packed and prepared the trunk he would take leaving it behind the couch. He'd add the presents to it when he finally did leave. Just in case he needed to add something else to his packing. 

He wouldn't need any muggle clothing for which he was grateful as he didn't particularly care for their mode of dress. Much preferring his black attire. Billowing robes and tight trousers to the constricting confines of a muggle outfit. He felt far to exposed in muggle clothing. The very thought of muggle clothing just made him want to curl his lip in distaste. Thankfully Lucius hated muggle clothing as much as he and refused to go to a muggle location for Christmas. 

It was less then three days away from Christmas break when Severus found himself walking down the halls on his way to the entrance hall. That's when he heard it. A blood curdling scream that froze him to the spot. Eyes wide for a moment before he took off running down the last bit of the hall. Freezing for a moment again as he saw the scene before him. Draco and Ron were struggling on the ground. Theodore held a terrified and openly crying Harry in a tight hold against his chest. Severus came up and all but yelled darkly "ENOUGH!" and the two struggling children stopped dead both looking up at him with big fearful eyes. Theodore relaxed his hold on Harry and the child crumpled to the ground in a curled up fetal position whimpering. Just what in Merlins name had happened. 

"My office, NOW" Severus said in a too soft voice. The danger evident and clear. Theodore hesitated and Severus turned dangerously glinting black eyes on the boy. "Mr. Nott escort Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Weasley to my office. I will see to Mr. Potter," Severus said calmly. Ron and Draco had already been working their way to their feet clearly seeing that Severus was anything but calm. Theodore nodded and looked at the other two. He was one year older then the other two boys even if he was a first year. His birthday was just outside the allotted time that would have allowed him to start last year. Theodore didn't care, he'd always been a close friend of Draco and was quite happy to be doing his first year at the same time as Draco. Theo put his hand on Draco's shoulder and gave him a reassuring squeeze before he grabbed Ron's arm and started leading both boys down to the dungeon. Severus knelt down next to Harry as his eyes fallowed the three boys. 

"Harry, child look at me," Severus said gently from where he knelt beside the curled up child on the ground. Shaking slightly Harry slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Severus. Severus spoke once their eyes met, "you are ok child. Your at Hogwarts. I'm going to lift you up now and take you to the Hospital Wing ok?"

"NOOOO," Harry all but screamed shaking his head vigorously. 

"Ok, ok. We can go to my quarters then, is that better?" Severus asked. He didn't really understand why Harry didn't want to go to the Hospital Wing, but he figured it had to do with what had brought this on. A small nod from Harry and Severus reached forwards pulling the frightened child into his arms. Harry curled up against him and clung to him tightly. The soft sound of weeping was muffled from where Harry's face was pressed into his shoulder. Rising to his feet Severus took Harry down through the secret passages and to the outside entrance to his rooms. A large picture of Salazar Slytherin hung over the doorway looking down at them. 

"Severus," Salazar said in greeting. 

"Salazar," Severus replied, "I don't have time to talk. Lily Always." He said smoothly and though a concerned look crossed Salazar's face the wall slid sideways and Severus walked through into his rooms. The door closing behind him. He set Harry down on the couch and walked over to his cabinet. The child simply sat with his knees up to his chest and curled up around them weeping slightly. 

"Harry I need you to drink this please," Severus said kneeling in front of the couch holding out a small vial for Harry to take. A slight confused look prompted Severus to keep going. "It's a calming drought child. It'll help you calm down. Your safe now. No one can come in here unless I let them in."

Harry shakily took the vial from Severus and drank down the contents. In the meantime Severus had captured the boy's eyes and gently slipped into his mind. It really was easy for Severus to use Legilimency on a child and though he didn't like doing it. In cases like this it was often easier then asking the child to speak. The memories were right on the surface and he quickly saw exactly what had happened.

* * *

_  
Harry was walking inside a deep red to his cheeks and a smile curving his face. Ron walked at his side equally red cheeked and laughing. Both boys were just walking by the great hall towards the stairs that led to the library._

_"So are you staying at school for Christmas?" Ron asked._

_"No, Professor Snape and Mr. Malfoy are taking me with them for Christmas," Harry said happily._

_"What?" Ron asked stopping dead. Harry stopped confused and looking over at his friend._

_"I'm going with Professor Snape for Christmas. Were going to Malfoy Manor and then I think were going to a ski lodge, but I don't really know what that is," Harry said evidently delighted with the idea._

_"Have you gone mad?" Ron asked bewildered. Then he drew a breath, "why don't you come with us? I'm sure mom won't care."_

_"Ron I'm not sure what's going on, but I want to go with Professor Snape and Mr. Malfoy ok?" Harry said clearly getting uncomfortable with the conversation._

_"You want to go with the Greasy git? But..." Ron began and Harry sighed heavily before cutting him off._

_"I've heard you and Hermione's theories and it's not true Ron. Professor Snape would never try and hurt me, he's been supper nice. I'm really tired of hearing you calling him names. It's rude and it's mean," Harry said glaring at his friend._

_"I can't believe you Harry. How could you want to go with those... those... those..." Ron fumed. Harry just shook his head._

_"You don't need to understand. It's my life Ron," and with that Harry turned to leave. Ron moved quickly and grabbed Harry's arm hard. Jerking Harry around and it was evident from Harry sharp intake of breath that it hurt him. Harry screamed as memories rose. Fear and terror mixing inside him. For a moment he thought he was back at the Dursley's facing his uncle who'd just grabbed him exactly how Ron had. Harry expected to be hit and fear kicked in. He struggled madly to get away. His whole body needing to run. To escape._

_"Let him go Weasley," Draco said storming over from where he'd just been entering the room followed by Theo. Harry was screaming trying to tear himself away. His screams building as Ron started to shake him. The scream that escaped Harry was the very one that had frozen Severus's blood. Primal and terrifying._

__

* * *

Severus drew back having seen enough and not wanting to hurt Harry. He took the empty vial from Harry's hand and stood up slowly. He looked at the green eyes that followed him. Softly he spoke. "Stay here Harry. The bathroom should you need it is the second door down that hall." Severus pointed down the hall. "I'd like you to stay in here. You can read one of the books on the two lower shelves if you'd like. Please do not touch anything above the second shelf." At a nod from the child Severus turned and left gliding into his office with a cold glint in his eyes. 

He scanned the children around him. Draco and Theodore were sitting on one side of the room while Ron was pacing by the door. It was clear Theodore had locked it because every once in a while Ron would try to open it. 

"Sit down Mr. Weasley," Severus's cold voice broke the silence and he watched the reluctant boy walk slowly to a chair. "You will all sit silently until Professor McGonagall gets here," Severus added coldly and met each eye until a nod was given. He went over to his fireplace. Grabbed a handful of floo powder and called out clearly "Minerva McGonagall." Moments later the witches face appeared in the fire. 

"Severus, what can I help you with?" Minerva asked. Knowing he'd called her for something important. The look on his normally blank face told her he was angry. Something had happened. 

"Step through Minerva," Severus said in that same dangerous voice. 

"Stand back then," Minerva said and Severus took a few steps back. Minerva stepped through the fireplace a moment later and looked at the three children in his office. Then she looked back at Severus, "What happened?"

"It appears Mr. Weasley felt it necessary to utilize physical force against his friend. Mr. Malfoy reacted rather violently to the situation and Mr. Nott attempted to stop it," Severus explained quickly. 

"I didn't hurt Harry! Malfoy attacked me," Ron yelled at them. 

"Silence Mr. Weasley!" Severus barked dangerously and Ron swallowed. Severus turned back to Minerva, "I have Mr. Potter in my quarters at this moment. He was quite shaken up by the events."

"Did he tell you this Severus?" Minerva asked looking at the children. Draco kept glaring openly at Ron who was sulking. Theodore was looking at the two adults and then back at the door that Severus had come through. 

"Sir," Theodore began before Severus could answer Minerva. There was hesitancy in his voice, but as Severus and Minerva turned to look at him he continued. "Is Harry ok?" 

"He will be Mr. Nott," Severus replied and turned back to Minerva. She looked concerned and Severus continued. "He was in no state to speak. I used Legilimency on him to see what had happened," Severus explained. 

"Normally I'd be angry that you did that to one of my Lions, but in this case thank you," Minerva said looking at Ron. "I trust you will see to your Snakes Severus?" 

"Of course Minerva," Severus said. Minerva nodded.

"When he's ready bring Mr. Potter to my office," Minerva said and Severus nodded. She turned back to Ron, "Come along Mr. Weasley." Ron got up and slowly walked to his head of house who ushered him towards the fireplace and the two flooed away. Severus turned to his desk and slowly took a seat on it's edge facing the two children. 

"Mr. Nott, 15 points to Slytherin for using your head in a heated situation," Severus said slowly to the boy who gave a small smile. "Mr. Malfoy, though I understand why you attacked Mr. Weasley it is still against school rules to fight. You will serve detention tomorrow night for your actions. You may both go." 

The two boys nodded and slowly started to head towards his door but then Draco stopped and turned to look at Severus. "Is he really ok Uncle Severus?" Draco's soft voice asked. He looked genuinely worried. 

"Yes Dragon, he will be just fine. He is simply shaken up," Severus reassured and the two boys left. Sighing Severus watched his door close for a long moment before turning and heading back towards his personal quarters. He walked over to the couch to find Harry asleep curled up on the cushions. Grabbing the black blanket over the couch Severus draped it over Harry. Grabbing his book from the table by his armchair Severus sank into his seat and started reading. 

A few hours later Harry woke up slowly. Blinking. Severus knew the boy was awake from the change in his breathing. He didn't however look up he simply kept reading listening as the boy shifted and sat up. Severus lowered the book a few minutes later. 

"How was your nap Harry?" Severus asked conversationally. 

"Sorry for falling asleep on your couch sir," Harry said looking down embarrassed, running his hand over the bruise on his arm. 

"There's no need to apologize Harry. You were tired and I left you here, it's only natural," Severus said gently. Reassuring the boy. He continued, "does your arm hurt Harry?"

"No sir I'm fine," Harry replied far too quickly. Severus quirked a brow.

"I would advice you not lie to me again Mr. Potter," Severus said sternly. Though he did keep his voice soft. Harry's eyes snapped up to meet his own black obsidian orbs. 

"S-so-sorry sir," Harry stuttered. 

"Now, does your arm hurt Harry? The truth this time," Severus said patiently. Even though his patience was wearing thin. He knew that loosing his temper with the child wouldn't do any good. 

"Ye-yes sir," Harry murmured softly. Almost inaudibly. 

"Come here Harry, so I can take a look at it," Severus said gently. Holding out his hand for Harry to show him his arm. Harry slowly pulled the blanket away from himself and walked really quietly and hesitantly until he stood before Severus. "Take your cloak and robe off Harry so I can see your arm. I cannot do anything to help you through all that material." 

Harry blushed slightly having forgotten that he was wearing his cloak. Quickly he walked back to the couch and pulled off his cloak and robes so he was only wearing his trousers and shirt school uniform. He walked back to Severus. Standing before Severus he let the man take his left arm into his strong hands as he gently looked over the handprint bruise over his arm. Frowning Severus acioed a couple of potions. He held out a blue vial to Harry. 

"Drink this Harry, so that when I apply the bruise slave it won't hurt as much. Healing quickly often hurts a lot more then the initial injury," Severus explained, "but the pain only lasts a small amount of time. The pain reliever won't remove it completely, but it will make it a lot less painful."

Harry nodded and took the vial drinking it without complaint. He handed the empty vial back to Severus. Who took it and then opened the bruise slave and started to apply it to Harry's arm. He could feel the boy flinch slightly, but he never made a sound. Severus sighed softly at Harry's reaction. It reminded him so much of his own reactions. Once Severus finished Harry returned to the couch and quickly put on his robe and picked his cloak up. 

"What am I suppose to do now sir?" Harry asked uncertainly as he turned to face Severus. 

"If you are feeling up to it I am to take you to see Professor McGonagall. However, if you would rather rest a little while longer you may do so here. Dinner will be in a few hours time and you are to be there. Both Mr. Nott and Mr. Malfoy are very worried about you Mr. Potter," Severus told him gently. 

"I'm alright sir. I think I'd just like to get this over with if that's ok?" Harry said again uncertain. 

"Of course Mr. Potter, follow me," Severus said smoothly rising from his seat and heading towards the door that led to his office. Harry followed him closely and once they were there Severus grabbed the box of floo powder. "Have you ever flooed before Mr. Potter?" Severus asked. 

"No sir" Harry said. Already knowing that floo was the thing the wizards and witches did with the fireplace. He'd seen a few times when it was done. However, he didn't know how it worked. 

"Very well, since you've never experienced it before it'll be easier if I take you the first time. It's a form of wizard transportation and it can be a little uncomfortable. Until you get used to it anyways, come here," Severus instructed as he took a handful of powder and stood facing the fireplace. Harry walked hesitantly over. "I am going to wrap my arm around you and hold you very close to my side. It's to make sure you don't fall when we get to the other side. Close your eyes and keep your arms tight to your side. You can press into my side if it makes you more comfortable," Severus said as he held out his arm for Harry to come closer.

Hesitantly Harry stepped right up against Severus and felt his strong arm fall across his shoulders pressing him close to his side as they stepped into the fireplace. Severus threw the powder down and called clearly "Minerva McGonagall's Office." 

A terrifying moment of spinning later and Severus stepped out holding Harry upright at his side. Harry was breathing heavily and terribly dizzy simply fell against Severus. "Alright there Mr. Potter?" Severus asked not releasing him yet. Slowly Harry pushed himself away until he stood shakily on his own. 

"I think so," Harry said softly opening his eyes and finding that he felt perfectly ok. If a little shaky. 

"Mr. Potter, Severus," Minerva said rising from her desk. "Will you both join me for a cup of tea?"


	20. The Journey to Christmas

Severus was relieved as he watched the students leaving for the train. Standing with the other professors watching the last of the carriages going to Hogsmeade. Severus smiled at the memory of Harry and Draco talking as they got into the same carriage. What had surprised Severus was to see Theodore, Fred, George and Hermione talking excitedly with Harry and Draco. Ron had followed then, but he was still sulking. Shaking his head at the stupidity of children Severus turned to head back to his room to gather the last of his things before he would apparate to the station. 

"Severus," Albus called and Severus slowed down to wait for the man to catch up. Albus continued when he was at Severus's side. The two walking down towards the dungeons together. "I'm surprised you let Harry take the train instead of just apparating with him."

"It does him good to be with his friends Headmaster," Severus said plainly. Simpler it might have been, but Severus wanted Harry to get to know Draco better. It seems since the incident three days ago Draco had taken on the role of protector for Harry, and the two had seemed to get along rather well. Watching his snakes warm up to Harry was something Severus enjoyed. He had grown weary and tired of all this inter-house hostility. He could remember a time when he'd loved a Gryffindor and things like house rivalries had been the furthest from his mind. Now after years of hating the Gryffindors because of what James and Sirius had done was finally fading. Fading away as he watched his Godson and the child of his Lily interact and develop a friendship. That some of the Gryffindors had started to warm up to Draco and Theodore was something else as well. Minerva had been grinning at Severus for the last two days like some cheshire cat. It had unnerved Severus at first, until he'd started to smile himself. Inwardly of course. He'd never let his cold exterior show that he'd enjoyed the change. 

"It's more then that Severus," Albus said prodding gently. "Could it be that you've finally let go of your grudge against the Gryffindors?" 

Severus sighed not bothering to answer the old man. Albus already knew the answer. His damn twinkling eyes were a dead giveaway. He just wanted Severus to admit it. Severus adamantly refused. 

"If you'll excuse me Headmaster, I have to get going if I am to meet up with Lucius and Narcissa before the train arrives," Severus said smoothly and was met with a grinning Albus. After they parted ways Severus entered his chambers. Shrunk his trunk which now held all the christmas present. Knowing that Narcissa would be giving them all new cloaks for the season as she always did at the start of Christmas break Severus didn't bother putting on his cloak as he left. He apparated away and to the station. A small alley in the back serving nicely for that purpose. He walked in and through the barrier to find a small crowd of adults and much younger children already there and waiting. Severus made his way to were Narcissa and Lucius stood with Hector Nott, Theodore's father and fellow Death Eater. 

"Hector, Narcissa, Lucius," Severus said in greeting nodding to each one. 

"Severus," the three of them said as one.

"Is Theodore behaving himself?" Hector asked before anyone else could resume the conversation they had been having. 

"Yes," Severus responded. Uncertain how to tell Hector that his son had made friends with Harry. 

"How is he treating Harry Potter?" Hector asked completely taking Severus by surprised. 

"Why do you ask that?" Severus wondered eyeing the other with narrowed eyes. 

"It is always wise to keep one's true allegiances hidden Severus, or have you forgotten what the child is to the wizarding world?" Hector said hotly. 

"Of course I haven't forgotten," Severus said darkly. His narrowed gaze taking on a dangerous glint. Severus didn't take insults well. 

"I meant no disrespect Severus," Hector hastened to add. "I just wish to make sure my son is playing his part well."

"Nott and Malfoy have taken to keeping a close eye on Potter," Severus said neutrally. Looking at Lucius giving him a quick warning glance. They had been friends long enough that Lucius didn't need to hear words to understand perfectly well what Severus meant. 

"Good," Hector said grinning, "So what are your plans this year?" 

"I am taking the boys," Narcissa said waving her hand at Lucius and Severus as if calling them boys as well. She continued, "to Camelot's Ski Lodge and Resort." That had Hector catching his breath. That particular wizard ski resort was exceptionally expensive and held many amazing wonders that few ever saw even in the wizarding world. Something Severus was looking forwards to experiencing even if he had no taste for strapping wooden sticks to his feet and sliding down a mountain. It was the castle that appealed to him. 

"If you'll excuse us Hector, we must be going to gather a few things before Draco arrives," Lucius said. Smoothly indicating that Hector's presence was no longer wanted. Hector said his goodbeys and Lucius turned to Severus. "Well are you coming?" 

"Where are we going?" Severus asked as he fell into step with Lucius and Narcissa. Heading back out of the platform and out into the streets. As soon as they had crossed over to the Muggle side Severus had cast a series of notice-me-not charms over them so they wouldn't' be seen by muggles.

"Cissa hasn't had the chance to pick up this years cloaks. She had to put in a last minute addition and it delayed Elaine's work. Her shop is just on the other side of this street down that alley," Lucius said discretely pointing out the alley just across from them. As he went to step out into the street Severus grabbed him a moment before a car could hit him. 

"Muggles cars," Severus said pointing to the fast moving traffic before them. "You have to cross the street at the crosswalk," Severus continued pointing it out to Lucius. Who was frowning.

"How do muggles manage this noise?" Lucius drawled clearly annoyed by having to raise his voice over the road noises to be heard. He followed Severus over to the crosswalk.

"Never mind the noise, that smell!" Narcissa stated affronted as she scrunched her nose up trying not to breath the fowl odour. She looked absolutely disgusted as she followed her husband. Severus shrugged. He didn't really care either way. He had after all been raised the 'muggle' way. 

Pressing the button that would let them be able to cross the road safely he waited for the lights to turn. Lucius looked impatiently at Severus. Severus shrugged and explained in a low voice, "the cars won't stop until the light turns red. Then we will get a symbol that will let us walk across safely. Without being run over by a car. It's a ridiculous waist of time, but for some reason muggles seem to think it's the best way to build roads."

Sure enough the light turned red and the traffic stopped. Not bothering to wait for whatever symbol would tell them to walk Lucius just strode into the rode and Severus quickly followed. Narcissa close to them. 

"We will apparate back to the station from Elaine's I am not walking back in that horrible street," Narcissa declared to the nods of both men. They were soon at a small robe shop tucked away in a blind alley. Narcissa led the way inside and straight to the counter. The front of the store held some muggle attire, but to those who were wizards it was evident the majority of the shop was magical clothing. The whole back area was run by magic. It was truly a sight to behold. Bolts of cloth flying through the air. Measuring tapes taking measurements of patrons who stood on raised pedestals. Quills taking notes in the air as they did. A series of creatures running to and fro with various things from scissors to threat to dresses and robes. A plump woman in a series of bright lavender robes with long flowing blond hair spun in an intricate knot at her back walked over to them with a large smile. 

"Narcissa darling! It's so good to see you. I'm so sorry I was delayed in your order," Elaine said to Narcissa as she reached them indicating they should take seats at the small table just behind Elaine's front counter. They did so quickly and Elaine went on. "That black and silver one was exceptionally challenging my dear. Why you always want a black cloak is always going to boggle my mind. Though I assume it's for this gentleman here?" She said turning her gaze to Severus. Considering he was the only one in all black. 

"Severus Snape," he introduced himself, "pleasure to meet you Madame Elaine."

"Well Mr. Snape, let me tell you black silk is extremely rare material to find. Especially of the quality that Narcissa insists on. That is why I had to wait to get the order complete. It took me two weeks alone just to procure a large amount of the fabric," Elaine went on. Severus had zero sense of fashion so he only nodded. Glad Narcissa was the one dealing with this.

"Oh Elaine darling, you know it's no bother to wait, your quality is always exceptional. Your work of the latest fashion. I am glad you were able to finish in time for the holidays," Narcissa said smoothly. Their conversation went on for another couple of minutes before Lucius kindly reminded her that they had a schedule to keep. After they paid for the cloaks and the package was shrunk and placed in Lucius's pocket they left the shop. As Narcissa had stated they apparated back to the station and quickly made their way back onto the platform.

They had just started making their way to a quiet space in the throng of people waiting for their children when the Hogwarts Express pulled into the station. Soon Harry and Draco came into view and a quick wave from Narcissa caught the boys's attention and they hurried over. 

"Mother, Father, Uncle Severus," Draco greeted smiling. Narcissa reached down to give him a hug which he returned warmly. 

"Hello Mr. Malfoy, Mrs. Malfoy, Professor Snape," Harry said politely. Narcissa turned to him and gave him a warm hug. 

"You don't have to call us Mrs. and Mr. Malfoy, you can call us Narcissa and Lucius," Narcissa said gently. 

"I'm sorry ma'am, but I can't that would be rude," Harry explained a little surprised when she hugged him. He did however return the hug. Lucius gave him a warm smile. 

"Well he certainly has good manners," Lucius praised and Narcissa gave a chuckle. 

"Lucius has to go to the Ministry for a meeting so we'll be going shopping this afternoon boys. The four of us will be going straight to Diagon Alley from here, Harry I'll take you and Draco will be going with Severus. I'd like to get to know you a little better and it'll be easier to shop for presents this way. I already know what Draco wants to get Severus. Why don't you tell Draco or Severus what you want to get me and they'll pick it up for you," Narcissa suggested while Lucius said his good-byes. 

"Draco," Harry whispered loudly. Making the adults smirk. Draco turned to look at Harry and the boy continued whispering loudly. "Can you help me find something for your mom?" 

"Yah," Draco replied not bothering to whisper since Harry had spoke loud enough for everyone to hear him. Harry smiled and then walked over to Narcissa. 

"He's never flooed alone yet Narcissa," Severus stated as they made their way to the fireplaces on the platform. Lucius had already left. 

"Not a problem, I'll floo over with him," Narcissa said simply and in no time they were in Diagon Alley. Their shopping didn't take very long. Narcissa refused to let Harry go get money from his bank insisting that she had more then enough for him to purchase presents for his friends. Harry had hesitated but agreed after a few moments. Narcissa had a way of getting her way they all knew. 

Severus let Draco choose where they were going and soon he had a large amount of gifts in his pockets. Including a few Draco chose for Narcissa on behalf of Harry. He had limited the boy to three gifts per person knowing that Narcissa would do the same for Harry. 

Four hours later found them meeting up in the Leaky Cauldron for a snack. Narcissa and Harry were already sitting at a table when Draco and Severus joined them. Sitting down with a soft exhalation next to Narcissa Severus looked over at her. 

"I've already ordered us a quick snack," She stated and Severus nodded. Relieved when a bottle of butterbeer was set in front of him. He took a long sip grateful for her thoughtfulness. 

"How did the shopping go?" Severus asked Narcissa knowing she'd enjoy talking about it. The boys were already talking about something in hushed voices. Severus didn't want to interrupt them. Not being in the mood to talk he was content to listen to Narcissa talk. Sure enough as soon as he asked Narcissa started talking happily about it. Severus listening, nodding and making small comments as the pauses arose. Soon their food arrived. A few deserts for the boys, some fancy thing he didn't know with too much chocolate for Narcissa and Severus's favourite pumpkin pie. 

Silence fell as everyone enjoyed their food. Severus was content with the silence. He'd always preferred it. Once they were done. Narcissa led the over to the fireplace placed a few galleons in the bowl grabbed the floo powder and handed some out. She told Draco and Harry to floo together. Draco had flooed before a few times on his own so he wasn't nervous about doing it again. Harry looked a little nervous, but it was good for him to get used to the mode of transportation. It was something they used often. Harry and Draco went first, followed by Narcissa and then Severus. 

Severus stepped out of the fireplace and stopped. Observing the scene in front of him sadly. Harry was on is hand and knees on the floor throwing up. Draco knelt by his side not knowing what to do and Narcissa was quickly making her way over gently kneeling down next to him lightly rubbing circles on his back when she reached him. Severus pulled out a vial from his pocket and made his way over. Holding it out to Narcissa who took it gratefully. 

"Harry drink this when you get a breath," Narcissa said gently holding out the vial to him. He took it quickly from her and forced himself to swallow it. From experience Severus knew it would be easy. It was one of the only potions he made which didn't taste awful. At least for medicinal purposes. There were plenty of potions that tasted amazing, he just usually didn't dabble in that kind of thing. Leaning back Harry looked at them with an embarrassed expression. 

"I'm sorry, I'll clean the mess..." Harry began to say. 

"No need little one," Lucius said stepping into the room he'd seen the whole thing play out from the doorway. A quick wave of his wand saw the mess and boy clean. "I think perhaps he should floo with an adult until he's gotten the hang of it." Lucius suggested kindly and Narcissa nodded. 

"Draco show Harry where your bedroom is and where his is, it's right beside yours across the hall," Narcissa said rising. Acting as if nothing had happened which from the grateful look Harry gave her was exactly what the boy wanted. Draco had gotten up from the floor and so had Harry as Narcissa spoke. 

"Yes mother," Draco said politely. 

"On your beds you'll see a set of robes I want you both to change into. I've already got your holiday trunks packed and down here," she pointed to two identical trunks on the floor off to the side. "If there's anything you've brought with you that you need to take then hand them over now."

Harry set his backpack down and so did Draco both boys began to pull out their holiday homework. Draco and Harry had agreed to split the number of books they would bring between them and so they handed a stack of books that amounted to all their first year texts over to Narcissa along with the parchment that held their notes and assignments. Grabbing their bags the adults watched them heading off up the stairs. 

"How was Harry with you Narcissa?" Severus asked now that the boys were no longer with them. 

"He is very reserved. He was hesitant at first to tell me what he wanted to get for his friends and entirely too startled when I told him to pick three items for everyone. Surprisingly you were the easiest one to shop for. He's extremely well behaved. I've never seen a child so well behaved before. Even Draco isn't that quiet and still. It's a little unnatural," Narcissa said. Lucius gently placed his hand on her shoulder reassuring her. 

"He'll outgrow that soon. He gets into plenty of mischief at school," Severus said with a sight. He had noticed the same thing with the child. He was far too quiet and far too still around adults. At least he wasn't that way when alone with Draco. 

"I certainly hope so Severus. No eleven year old child should act like an adult. It's far too young to be grown up. There's so many things he's yet to experience," Narcissa said sadly. 

"I know Cissa," Severus said sadly. Laughter filtered down the stairs a moment before the sound of loud footsteps could be heard. It seemed both boys were running down the stairs laughing before they came barrelling into the room. Severus was pleased to see that they wore nice wizarding robes of a similar style to Lucius's robes. They looked like young aristocrats like that. Though Harry's hair seemed to be just as wild and untamed. 

"I tried to fix his hair mother, but it's pointless," Draco said as Narcissa looked them over. 

"It's no matter Draco," Narcissa said giving Harry a warm smile as he looked nervously at her. "You both look stunning, now before we go. Were going to Camelot Ski Lodge and Resort. It's a very high end resort so I expect you both on your best behaviour until we get to our private estate where we'll be staying. Then and on the slopes you both can have as much fun as you like, but whenever we are in the main building or one of the many other destinations that are there I expect two well behaved boys. Harry I know you've never been taught pureblood decorum, but Draco will help you. Just do what he does and you'll be just fine dear."

Severus had to smile at Harry's fearful look. "Harry if I can pull it off, you will have no problem," Severus said kindly to the boy making Lucius laugh. 

"You have about as much decorum as a freight train Severus," Lucius said laughing. Severus raised an eyebrow, but he knew it was true. They all did. Harry and Draco were looking at them with big wide eyes that made Narcissa laugh lightly. 

"Alright boys," Narcissa said and Lucius handed her the package that held their cloaks. She set it down on the small table next to her and opened the box delicately. "Harry, this is a tradition in the family we do every year. So I'll do yours first," Narcissa said as she pulled out a maroon cloak with a black lining. She put it over Harry's shoulders and fastened the gold clasp at his throat. It fit perfectly. "There are spells that are woven into the material. So even though it's light you'll not be cold at all. It'll also keep you dry when your out in the snow. The temperature will adjust so even indoors you won't feel too warm or too cold. Though I do expect you take it off when your inside."

"Thank you ma'am." Harry said politely amazing at the soft silk and satin material. The outside was a silk and the inside a satin. 

Narcissa pulled out a deep forest green one for Draco and put it around his shoulders. The inside of his was silver. Draco whispered thank you. Narcissa pulled out a black cloak with a silver lining for Severus. The silver on his cloak was so dark it was almost black. Severus gave a brief smile and thanks as Narcissa handed it to him and he draped it over his shoulders fastening the black clasp at his throat. Narcissa's was a deep blue that was almost black and lined with a lighter blue and Lucius's was such a deep green that it looked almost black. With a black lining. 

Lucius shrunk the trunks and pocketed them while Narcissa instructed the boys who they would be flooing with. She would floo with Draco first. Lucius would floo after with Harry. Severus would floo last. That decided and the family ready Narcissa announced that they would be going now. It was a little earlier then Severus had anticipated, but Narcissa was quick to explain that the resort had a ball tonight and she wanted the boys to experience that.


	21. Ice and Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Pronunciation Key:**  
>  (1) Aeleaietta is pronounced: Ah-leh-et-tah  
>  (2) Aelea is pronounced: Ah-la
> 
> **Author's Note:** I had fun making this outfit for Severus.... Sorry if it's boring for you... I just couldn't resist. I'm not normally so into describing things, but sometimes there just some things that I really love describing... And if your laughing as hard as I am by the end of this... I have achieved my goal... my very accidental goal as I wasn't trying for funny. It just worked out.
> 
> The reach for the conversations held during the ball by Severus took a long time. Sorry for that causing delays in getting this chapter up. I spent a good part of my day researching all that potion terminology. I wanted it to be real. Hopefully my effort paid off and you liked it. And I'm not even sorry about how it all ends... though my thoughts are still Poor Sev... Can't catch a break. 
> 
> Yes I'm evil for ending this on a cliff hanger. Don't kill me. I swear the next chapter will be up soon.
> 
> Also a note. According to what I read on the wiki Fawley is one of the sacred 28 pureblood families. However they are extant. Yes I know I'm breaking canon to make her pureblood, however, it's got a purpose. I don't know if it'll go anywhere, but it'll be a great source of fun for Lucius/Severus arguments...

Severus stepped smoothly out of the fireplace into the wide open lobby. A large expanse of white marble with intricately carved columns running in two rows down the centre from where the row of fireplaces sat. The walls were hung with bright tapestries that depicted the whole of the legends of King Arthur. Only these were not legends, but the actual truth of the events. The glass and crystal chandelier hanging overhead cast the only illumination. Thousands of candles floating in the air in thin silver spirals and more glass and crystal then Severus had ever seen. The dome ceiling high above was painted a purl white and seemed to glow of it's own light. The oak desk sat at the end of the long columned walkway. Narcissa, Draco, Harry and Lucius stood just a little way up from where Severus was standing observing the beauty of the entrance hall. 

"Close your mouth Severus, your drooling," Narcissa teased wickedly as she watched the awe in his eyes. He wasn't the only one staring around however, Draco, Harry and to a lesser extent Lucius were taking in the beauty of the room. Severus of course hadn't actually been drooling, but something of his emotions must have breached his otherwise cold mask. He quickly made sure his face was blank before walking over to them. 

"Shall we go check in? We still need to change before we can attend the ball I'm pretty sure it's definitely requiring dress robes," Severus drawled as he waved a hand carelessly towards the front desk. 

"Yes of course, and Severus dear, you will wear those nice deep emerald green dress robes I got you won't you? Your always in black. It's such a depressing color!" Narcissa pressed as she led the way down towards the oak desk. Severus groaned. He knew better then to argue, but the look on his face was akin to swallowing a particularly large lemon. He was very unhappy with the idea. 

"I like black," he grumbled unhappily. 

"Yes yes I know," Lucius said with a wicked smile curving his lips. He laughed lightly, "you know it's pointless to argue she always wins."

"I know," Severus said resigned. 

"I don't have any dress robes," Harry said shyly. He didn't even know what they were. Narcissa gave him a wide smile.

"Don't you worry Harry, I got you and Draco a set earlier," Narcissa reassured. "At the same time I picked up Severus's." She added giving him a look that spelled disaster for him if he refused to wear them. Severus sighed but gave her nod. That was the most agreement she'd get out of him. 

Reaching the desk Lucius glided forwards until he stood right before it. Tapping lightly on it's edge with his cane to gain the attention of the lady who was speaking with her colleague. 

"How may I help you sir?" The woman asked politely coming right over. 

"Lucius Malfoy, we have reservations. For the estates off the northern path," Lucius said clearly. 

"Of course Mr. Malfoy," the woman said with an even brighter smile. Bending down to pull out an ancient looking key ring. She flipped until she found the numbered key she was looking for. Slipped it off the hook and disappeared from sight again for a moment before facing Lucius again. She put the key and a stack of parchment on the desk. "I just need two signatures. One here indicating that you agree to the terms of tenancy for the duration of your stay. One here to allow the funds to be transferred directly from you vault into ours." She indicated each location on the documents before giving him a quill. Lucius read through both documents closely before signing both and handing the stack back to her. Lifting the key from the counter she handed him a map of the locations that were found at the resort and near by villages before bidding them a good stay. 

Lucius opened the map until it showed the path they would need to take to their estate. With a nod he led the way. Severus enjoyed looking around as they passed through an ornate set of doors leading out onto a gorgeous winter garden. Complete with moving ice sculptures and wild vegetation growing behind ice walls. It looked astonishing and Severus slowed to truly enjoy the view. The wild roses were by far the most beautiful he'd ever seen. Everything from pure white to black roses grew in little vases of sealed glass. In their own miniature terrariums. It was elegant and the magic that kept the space a perfect habitat fascinating. 

"Oh Merlin, Lucius!" Narcissa said loudly as they were quite a ways down from where Severus stood admiring the garden before him. 

"Head on over without us Cissa, I'll get Severus. You know there are only two thing the man will ever truly love: herbology and potions. I don't know how he ever gets on," Lucius said sighing annoyingly as he handed Narcissa the key. Severus just ignored them. Even though he could hear them plain as day. 

"Come along boys," Narcissa said ushering the two children down the path. 

"Really Sev, their just roses," Lucius said stopping to look down at what Severus was intently studying. 

"That they are indeed Luc, but the magic to keep them alive trapped in ice is fascinating," Severus said softly. Having found a plague that explained exactly how that was done not a foot from where he'd been closely observing. He stopped to read it and Lucius just looked at him. 

"I swear Sev if I didn't know you were a Slytherin through and through I'd claim your a damn Ravenclaw!" Lucius declared annoyed that Sev was more interested in learning about how the flowers were kept alive in an ice sculpture then getting to their rooms. Severus ignored his comment in favour of finishing reading the plague satisfied he turned to his irate friend. "Can we go now?" Lucius asked irritably. 

"Of course," Severus said with a smirk. He knew he was annoying the other, but he didn't care. He was thinking about how to utilize a similar technique for a pet project of his. 

"Really you need to get of your library and lab much more often, you unsociable!" Lucius complained critically. It was the same argument they always had. 

"Luc I'm a potions master. I'm suppose to spend most of my time in my lab," Severus said exasperatedly. 

"Well it wouldn't hurt to be a little more social," Lucius said as he led the man down the trail through the expanse of garden. Many more plants and even some creatures were in glass cages and sculptures on every side of the path. The walk was not all that long and under half an hour they reached the large sweeping entrance of a two story estate house. It was gorgeous. As they entered Severus noted that the layout seemed to be of a similar style as most manor houses. Only with a smaller scale. Having no time to explore the full estate now Severus followed Lucius up the stairs and to the second floor. Lucius headed for the furthest door down the hall and Severus could hear Draco and Harry through the closed doors of the first two rooms they past. The open door to the bathroom was next to the boy's room and across the hall was two closed door. Severus selected the one right across from the children and entered. It was a spacious bedroom. He quickly pulled out the shopping from his robe pockets and unshrunk everything, including his trunk. Setting the trunk at the base of his bed. He took out his clothing and started to put it away. Leaving the presents on the bed. He walked over to Draco's room and knocked. 

Draco opened the door and Severus handed him all his shopping from earlier. He then went to Harry's room and knocked. Harry opened the door and Severus gave him the bag that held all of the gifts they had picked out for Narcissa from Harry. After a quick thank you the boy retreated back into his room to get ready. Severus waited for Narcissa to come out of her room. Not two minutes later she was sweeping towards him with an exquisite and expensive dark emerald green dress robes. The material was so dark it was almost black. Only a hint of color revealed it wasn't. He smirked. This he'd wear willingly. Thanking Narcissa he made his way back to his room. 

Severus lay the dress robes onto his bed. Slowly pulling the layers apart. Once he had everything laid down on the bed. He was ready to get dressed. Stripping quickly out of his regular robes. 

He put on the white undershirt made of a fine silk material. It was so soft. The three silver buttons at the throat made the collar stand up tall against his neck. Three matching buttons at the wrist had the same affect. It was tight and restrictive over his wrist, while flowing easily over the rest of him. He liked how it felt. He could get used to this. He thought absently as he pulled on a pair of black simple trousers. Tucking in the white undershirt quickly. A light and flowing underrobe went on next. A series of silver buttons fastening it tightly across his chest to his hips. The flowing material pooling around his legs open only slightly as he moved from the slit in the front where the buttons ended. This inner layer was a slightly lighter shade of dark emerald green. The hint of color he'd seen when it was draped over Narcissa's arm. The last layer was of a much stiffer and thicker material. He slipped it on over his shoulders and started in on the rows of buttons. The ones down from his elbow to his wrist tightened the material until it was fitted firmly in place. It didn't restrict movement, but it did show the shape of his arms. There was only a series of four buttons at the top that secured the material at his shoulder. The two sides falling away at sharp angles. The angles made an almost perfect upside down V starting at the centre of his chest and ending at his knees. The almost black material blending in perfectly. A hint of the lighter emerald at his wrists that flowed easily into the white. The tall white caller visible atop the dark emerald. 

The more form fitting outerrobe something he wasn't really used too. He was a little uncomfortable as it revealed his physique quite clearly. Though he did rather enjoy the darkness of it. He looked into the vanity mirror and was relieved to note that his hair flowed nicely with the outfit. Satisfied he pulled on his dragon skin boots before heading out to wait for everyone. He had settled himself in the den with a book as he waited. He had barely gotten through the first two pages when Lucius entered with Narcissa. Narcissa was an in a stunning blue dress accented with silver and pearls while Lucius was in dress robes of black, a deep green and silver trim. Lucius's robes were similar to Severus's except that they looked much more expensive with the silver trim. The Malfoy Crest stitched into the breast of the robes. Draco and Harry were dressed in simpler dress robes then the adults. Both boys had black dress robes accented with rich color. Draco's was green and silver while Harry was blood red and gold. Narcissa fussed over the boys who openly started at Severus. Neither of them having seen him in anything except black. 

Severus rose to his full height and had every eye on him. He looked at them all and wondered just what they were staring at. "What?" He asked. None too gently either. 

"Sev you really need to get out more," Lucius said with a sigh. 

"Why?" Severus asked with narrowed eyes. 

"You don't look like an overgrown bat sir," Draco stated finally. Evidently shocked into saying his mind. Severus just glowered at him. 

"Draco!" Narcissa chided horrified. 

"Well it's true, and everyone's thinking it," Draco said defensively. 

"I have a reputation to keep!" Severus groused. Though he had to admit he actually did enjoy the look of these dress robes. Maybe Narcissa had a point. Not that he would admit that out loud. 

"Well now that you've mortified everyone Draco, I think it's time we head over for the dinner," Narcissa said giving her son a look. Draco grinned innocently at her. Lucius was trying hard not to laugh. Only succeeding by years of decorum and training in control. Severus just kept glaring at them all and Harry was openly laughing. The walk out into the cold slowly sobered everyone up. They had all grabbed their cloaks before heading out into the thick snow covered gardens of ice. The sun was slowly setting as they walked back into the main hall. Only this time two black doors were open on the opposite site from where they had just come from. The faint lighting and the noise of live music could clearly be heard. Narcissa and Lucius led the way in Draco and Harry following close behind them and Severus coming in after them. They were led over to a table near the stage. From their location they had a perfect view of everything going on around them. They all took their seats. Lucius pulling out the seat of Narcissa before situation himself at her side. Draco and Harry sat together on Lucius's left and Severus took the seat to Narcissa's right. Drink were brought to their table. Butterbeer for the two boys and firewhiskey for the adults. The table was laid with more silverware then Severus had ever seen.

He only survive the six course meal because he could remember Narcissa's long ago lessons in placing. Even then he'd had to cast glances at Lucius and Narcissa every once in a while to figure out what to use to eat his food. It was all so complicated he found it less enjoyable then if he'd been eating in a pub. Though he did enjoy the dancing and small acts that took place on the stage throughout their meal. The music always playing from the full orchestra behind the stage was also rather enjoyable. All in all Severus was simply happy to lean back in his seat after he'd finished watching the performance of a particularly complex dance number. 

When the dinner finally ended the lights came back on full force and it took a moment for Severus's eyes to adjust. He blinked and looked over to Lucius who was scanning the program on the table. 

"There's an amusement centre we can sign the children into if you boys don't want to come to the mixer," Lucius said over to Draco and Harry. Draco looked rather thrilled at the idea and Harry smiled happily. 

"I'd rather go to the amusement centre father," Draco said. 

"I'll take you boys over. Lucius why don't you and Severus head to the mixer and I'll join you in a minute," Narcissa said rising smoothly to her feet. Lucius and Severus nodded and slowly rose. Heading towards the door on the left of the dining area. The doors stood open onto a large ballroom where more live music could be heard. 

"Are you enjoying the experience Severus?" Lucius asked grinning at his friend.

"Your dinners have too much cutlery for my taste, but the food was good and the entertainment better," Severus commented. Lucius laughed. 

"That's because your a barbarian Sev," Lucius said teasingly. 

"At least I don't need to change fork eight times to eat one meal," Severus countered lazily. 

"I suppose you have a fair point," Lucius drawled conceding the light debate. 

"What is our plan for tomorrow?" Severus asked lightly. 

"Draco rather enjoys snowboarding. I took the liberty of purchasing the equipment for Harry. I figured the two boys can go and enjoy the slopes. Draco can teach Harry well enough. They should enjoy that. There is also a Quidditch pitch for them to enjoy if they desire. A few other things as well. I'm certain they will find more entertainment out in the mountain then anywhere else. I might join them for a bit. I've been looking forward to some skiing since Narcissa chose this place. Narcissa has appointments at the spa which she assures me will take her all day. Did you have any plans?" Lucius finished.

"I was thinking of going to see the castle. There are some interesting things said to be found in there. It's more a museum then anything else," Severus said. A rare smile forming on his lips.

"Merlin, you really need to do something other then read Severus," Lucius drawled. Not getting the appeal in the least. 

"I am not strapping twigs to my feet and running down a mountain!" Severus declared adamantly. 

"Then why not go for one of the hikes?" Lucius suggested. 

"That would be quite enjoyable. I might just do this," Severus said simply. He added quickly before Lucius could look too triumphant. "Though I am still going to check out the museums first."

"You will never change," Lucius laughed. Narcissa soon joined them. 

"Severus, change? That would be about as likely as him dating a girl," Narcissa declared as she walked up to them. Severus winced at her words. 

"Cissa, let him be on that," Lucius said gently to his wife. 

"Why? He could use all the help he can get in that department Luc dear, I've offered to set him up with some of my friends, but he refuses. Why is it that you always refuse Sev?" Narcissa pressed. 

"I don't wish to date," Severus said lightly, trying to brush the issue aside.

"Oh nonsense. You just need to get out of that dungeon more often!" Narcissa said. "Go on find a nice girl and go dancing, life a little Sev!" Narcissa said pushing him towards the crowds. She turned to Lucius took his arm and guided him towards the dance floor. "Come I want to dance."

Severus sighed as he watched them walk away. He looked around and had no interested in 'living a little.' So he headed instead towards the table that held refreshments. He'd just taken a bottle butterbeer when he felt someone bump him lightly. 

"Sorry," slurred a sultry voice. Severus looked over at the rather drunk witch who'd bumped into him. She had long raven black hair falling down in waves to her mid back. Her eyes were large and a strange mix of green and blue. Her lips were full and bright pink. Her face softly rounded. She was tall, but not taller then him and wore a beautiful silver and green gown that contoured her curves. She looked stunning. She was also quite drunk. 

"No problem, though I'd advice on skipping the firewhiskey in favour of some water," Severus said as she reached for the decanter. She paused and looked at him. 

"I'm not drunk," she slurred drunkenly. 

"Of course your not," Severus said sarcastically.

"I could still recite the brewing procedures of the Drought of the Living Dead, therefore not drunk," the woman said loudly. A little too loudly. 

"I'm not sure that would be entirely a wise assumption," Severus declare. 

"How would you know? Not like you could brew it decently, most man can't," She hiccuped. 

"For one I am not most men, for two I happen to be the youngest potion master of this century," Severus declare proudly. Normally he'd have just made a snide comment, but for some reason he found her charming. Her odd sense of assumptions was endearing. 

"You?" She said staring bug eyed at him. 

"Yes," Severus responded. Giving her a glower. He might find her charming, but she was beginning to test his patience. 

"Prove it then," she demanded boldly. Crossing her arms across her chest and glaring at him. 

"How exactly would you like me to do that? Do you have a cauldron hidden somewhere amongst your robes?" He demanded sarcastically. 

"I'll ask you a series of question, if you can answer then correctly then I'll believe you," she said as if this was obvious. She continued, "I'm Adeline Rose by the way. Who are you?"

"Severus Snape," Severus said lazily. He continued, "well what is your first question then?"

"What is the idea color for the half way point of the Draught of the Living Dead?" Adeline asked Severus scrutinizing him. 

"Blackcurrant," Severus said smugly, "you really need to get less juvenile with your potions."

"Well if you insist, then tell me what is the main ingredient in Veritaserum?" Adeline slurred starring blearily up at him. Severus would have rolled his eyes at the stupidity of the question.

"Jabberknoll feather," Severus sneered at her, "really this is juvenile. I've grown bored with this conversation already. If you'll excuse me." With that Severus began to walk away when a hand reached out and grabbed him. His body stilled instantly. Far too still. He barely controlled his reaction as she spun to face her. Eyes narrowed in a deadly warning. His voice cold and his tone absolutely deadly, "I will give you ten seconds to unhand me. You will not enjoy the alternative."

She hesitated, not releasing him, she looked sufficiently frightened though. "Please don't go," she whispered a second later letting her hand fall away. One step took him out of her reach. 

"You are drunk, you are asking me juvenile questions any first year could answer. Why would I be interested in engaging you further in conversation? Your intellect is so far bellow the standers of what I consider decent company. It has zero appeal to me," Severus drawled. He could see the hurt his words cause flash across her eyes. Though it really was true. He gave a satisfied smirk, "now if you were to ask me to debate the uses of Anti-venoms before and after a venomous bite. I'd be inclined to engage in such intellectual conversation. Though now you are clearly not in possession of your faculties. Therefore no I won't be staying. Excuse me."

Severus strode away leaving a bewildered Adeline staring opened mouthed at him. Severus grumbled grumpily to himself about ridiculous drunk women. He glared at everyone who dare to move near him and soon found himself leaning against the far wall listening to the far too loud music in a darkened corner. 

"Ugh, this place is boring. Not even a decent conversation to be had," a rich female voice drifted from the dark shadows not five feet to his left. Severus didn't react to the voice. Until it spoke again. The irritation and annoyance clear in it's tone. "What I wouldn't give to be back in my rooms with a book and maybe a cauldron. But no," she sneered heavily and then her voice went an octave higher in a far too shrill falsetto. "It's improper for a young pureblood to smell like a potion lab experiment gone wrong. Were going to one of the most expensive get away destination and we will not allow our daughter to bring shame to our home." Her voice fell away with a grumbled sigh. "As if being brilliant was a shame. Merlin I hate decorum," she ranted on. Severus had actually started listening when she'd talked at the mention of cauldrons and books. Why that had tuned him of all things was beyond him. Maybe it was the drunk woman attempting to ask him such juvenile questions when he'd thought he'd found sound intellectual conversation. It startled him when the voice spoke directly to him. "You know it's rude to just stand there and listen to my rant without actually saying anything."

"I had no wish in engaging you in a discussion about your emotions," he sneered the last word in disgust. He heard rich laughter for his troubles. 

"Well good, I had no wish to talk of that rubbish either. What's your name?" She demanded. 

"Severus Snape," Severus answered bored. 

"The Severus T. Snape? The youngest potions master in this century? Teaches potions at Hogwarts?" She asked with a hint of interest in her tone. How the hell did she know that? Not that it wasn't something any idiot could find, but still. He just gave her a cold look. Catching dark amber eyes staring with interest at him. Meeting his black obsidian orbs without hesitation. "Damn, you wrote -the secrets to proper ingredient identification-," she added after he stopped. She went on after only a brief pause. "Though my favourite article you wrote by far was -alternative uses of monkswood-." 

"I am well aware of the various books and articles I have written, Mrs." Severus drawled again getting annoyed. If he wanted mindless praise he'd have ask a first year. How he loathed dunderheads. 

"Name's Aeleaietta(1) Fawley and I'm not married. Call me Aelea(2)," Aeleaietta said rising so she was standing instead of sitting on the edge of the stage. She stepped out of the darkness and stood a few feet from him. He could see her better now. She had long blond hair, almost as pail as Lucius's platinum. With a tanned complexion. She was a little plumper, but just as equally stunning in her tight black dress. Her hair was done up in some sort of intricate weaving pattern and a small series of sparkling green stones were scattered across it. "Well that confirmation of who you are at least. Your attitude speaks volumes," she said crossing her arms over her chest. Causing the thin dark green see through shawl to envelope her in a shimmering wave. 

One raised eyebrow at her oddness was the only response she got from Severus. Beyond that he didn't move. Remaining deceptively relaxed against the back wall. His eyes half closed as he listened to the music and her dulcet tones. 

"Well are you going to engage me in conversation of some intellectual nature or do I need to go back to ranting about how boring this is?" Aeleaietta demanded. 

"What did you have in mind?" Severus asked mildly curious. Lucius and Narcissa were too busy dancing and talking with everyone that came within haling distance. He had to agree with the woman, it was boring as hell at these parties. He certainly didn't see the appeal. 

"Well for one we could discuss something as sinister as poisons and their antidotes, or we could discuss something less sinister like the various properties of sleeping potions. Or you could tell me what your thoughts are on a stasis potion," Aeleaietta said a little too eagerly. 

"What exactly do you mean by stasis potion?" Severus inquired. "There are after all several verities. "

"A potion that alters your respiratory and circulatory system," Aeleaietta stated simply. 

"A Draught of the Living Dead would suffice," Severus replied again bored.

"Oh no, that wouldn't do at all. Your pulse and breathing are still detectable. Even though they are quite low to fool the eye they are not low enough to fool a diagnostic spell," Aelea responded.

"You want to make something that would entirely eliminate the traces of life while still keeping the subject alive?" Severus asked intrigued. Now this was interesting. 

"That is precisely what I wish to achieve," Aelea stated, "I have tried increasing the level of Valerium root used, but the results were less then satisfactory."

"More like poison I'd say," Severus responded thoughtfully. "It would mostly require slightly increasing the strength of the ingredients not changing the number of them. Maturing the ingredients to full potency would increase the effectiveness of the draught incrementally. However, another potion would have to be utilized to further reduce the remaining life signs. Simply putting yourself in a state of living death wouldn't be completely undetectable. A slow combination of the two draughts would be required with an antidote already easily available right after consumption. As the result of any combination with Living Death would be poisonous. How one would then take the antidote to the Draught of the Living Dead would be interesting to note. Someone else would need to be involved."

"What if one were alone? Would it be possible to simulate real death without needing assistance?" Aelea asked curiously. 

"Anything is possible Madam Aelea, however that doesn't mean it would be advisable," Severus responded gazing at her critically. A quirked brow, "planning on trying to fake your own death to get out of being at a pureblood function?"

"Merlin no, thought it might irritate me to no end, I rather enjoy the prestige and financial independent of my family fortunes thank you very much. I merely enjoy toying with rather complicated and nearly impossible situations," Aelea responded with a light shrug. "Tell me you've never been interested in seeing just how far you can push a particular potion?"

"I assure you I have often been tempted by just such research," Severus confirmed smirking. After all he wasn't a potion master for no reason. 

"Well then, maybe..." Her words trailed off on a sigh of exasperation. She looked beyond Severus for a moment before turning back to him. Her words darkly colored with regret, "It seems I am being called over by my mother, no doubt for some inane babble. I hope to see you again Professor Snape, it has been a pleasure."

"Severus, there you are," Lucius called walking up to him a moment after Aelea had started to walk away into the crowd. "Is that a female I see leaving the dark corners where I happen to find you lurking?"

"I am neither lurking nor interested Lucius," Severus said sighing in frustration. At that exact moment a loud crash can be heard followed by a series of screams. Severus looks up in time to see fire spreading quickly towards them.


	22. Fire and Nightmares

Severus and Lucius both sighed heavily as the fire sped up towards them. Severus was faster then Lucius at drawing his wand and had already begun muttering the counter curses for most fire based magic. Lucius soon joined him and in moments the fire vanished as fast as it had appeared. As far as both men could tell there was only some slight property damage and lots of startled people screaming and running every which way. 

"Alcohol and magic," Severus sighed annoyed, "never going to understand why they find that so appealing."

"Come on lets go, this place is going to the dogs now," Lucius said angrily putting his wand back in his cane looking for Narcissa who'd been speaking with a few women. Now she was striding towards them looking a little rumpled and annoyed. Lucius took her hand as she came up to him and began leading them towards the exit.

Severus didn't particularly care for staying. He had grown rather bored with the whole thing almost as soon as Aelea had left. She'd been a decent conversation at least. They made their way towards the activity centre where the boys were. Two large staff members stood at the entrance demanding identification before allowing parents to go in and claim their children. Checking with their registry list as they left. Damn good security at least. 

Moments later the group headed back towards their estate with two boys in tow. Both of whom were chattering excitedly with each other. Their conversation drowned out by the wind as they started the trek outside. Severus was only glad they had had fun. He really particularly didn't care what they had been up to. After all they had been stuck in a room with other kids and a ton of activities. 

Narcissa ushered the boys to bed as soon as they got inside. Severus settling down with a book as Lucius and Narcissa went to tuck the boys in. He hadn't bothered to change out of his dress robes. Figuring he'd read for a few hours before heading to his own room. He wasn't at all surprised when neither Narcissa nor Lucius came downstairs after seeing the boys to bed.

Hours later Severus rose, sufficiently done and far more tired then he'd been in a long time. He hadn't realized it yet, but he was beginning to suffer from fatigue. With the amount of work piling up from everything. Teaching. The Order. The Dark Lord. Keeping Potter safe and out of trouble,. Keeping an eye on Quirrell. On top of the rise in his memories and recollections of events he'd rather never remember. He just lacked too much sleep. Staying up far later, rising far earlier, waking up numerous times during the night. Or just laying awake on his bed. It was bound to catch up to him. He knew that. 

Heading up the stairs and to his room Severus wondered idly if he'd get a full night of sleep tonight. He stripped out of his robes and into a pair of black pyjama pants before crawling into bed. He'd have slept in the nude like he did at home or at Hogwarts, but seeing as he might have to get up during the night he figured having pants on at least was a better option. 

Severus had barely begun to drift off to sleep when a blood curdling scream resonated through the room. He sat bold upright and had already began to swing himself off the bed. Grabbing his wand and his usual outerrobe to throw on overtop his naked chest Severus swept from the room. He could hear loud whimpering and muffled screams coming from Harry's room. Crossing the short distance to the door. He threw it open. Casting a silencing charm over the room so as not to wake anyone else. Severus hurried over to the trashing figure on the bed. 

Severus gently sat on the edge of the bed. Laying his hand on the boy's shoulder gently shaking him. "Wake up Harry," he said softly. His hand seemed to still the boy who curled up around the small comfort whimpering harder. Severus sighed and lifted the boy up into his arms. The child was still whimpering and squirming in his arms. Though not as badly as when he'd been trashing violently. One arm wrapped protectively around him nestling him against his chest tightly. His head resting on his shoulder. His fingers slowly carding through the black hair. Soothing the child with soft words of comfort. Harry slowly seemed to be waking up. As if drawn up from a deep sleep. 

Blinking eyes met Severus's dark gaze. Confusion and fear were written clearly on the child's face as he panted for breath and shook. He shook his head and buried his face in Severus's shoulder weeping uncontrollably. Severus sighed reaching into one of his pockets and drawing out two potions. A Calming Draught and a Dreamless Sleep. He slowly fed them both to the child. Harry squirmed for a few more moments in his arm before going still. His breathing evening out until he was asleep against Severus. Severus rose to lay him in bed, when he all but jumped out of his skin at the strangled cry coming from the boy. Looking down in alarm he saw the boy's wide eyes open and glazed over. Clearly he was still asleep, but dreaming. That shouldn't be happening. Another scream pierced the still air and Severus sat down quickly with the child. 

He placed his one hand over the child's forehead and slowly began to allow calming healing magic to flow through the child. He could feel the drain in his magic almost instantly. He was too tired for this level of magic. It was a lot harder to use then most normal magics. These spells took a lot out of the caster, and being as tired as he was, didn't leave him with a lot of extra. Sighing wearily as Harry went still again Severus was relieved that he could finally set the boy in his bed. Certain he'd stay asleep now. Though still worried the dreams were breaking through the potion.

He had just tucked Harry in when the boy jerked spasmodically on the bed. His mouth open in a silent scream. Twitching and squirming. Severus sighed. He didn't know what else to do. He couldn't stand to see the child suffering like this. His hand slowly went back to the boys's forehead and he whispered the spell. Slowly the boys dream came into a hazy focus. The memories were so shocking he couldn't draw his breath. Memories he himself could never get rid of. Only he was watching them die. Instead of finding them dead. 

He had the strangest sensation of another presence. One that was laughing cruelly at the torment. At the level of pain it was causing. As if it was feeding from it. He shivered at the presence it was all too familiar. He had to work quickly. He couldn't stand this. Not for long. He could shatter both their minds if he lost control. He couldn't loose control. Not here. Slowly he drew in all his concentration and focus and began to shield the boys mind. He felt a faint resistance, but it wasn't from the boy. Something else was fighting him. 

By the time he was done he withdrew feeling physically ill. Exhaustion mixed with emotions and the slimy icky blackness that had been seeping into his concentration. As if it had been a creeping poison trying to get inside him. He was shaking uncontrollably over the boy's bed. Hands trembling he pulled the blanked over the still form. The gentle rise and fall of the boy's chest and the soft innocent expression on his relaxed face telling Severus he was safely asleep. 

He turned wrapping his arms tightly around himself shivering. He had not expected anyone to be up. His eyes met Lucius's startled gaze and he sighed. Shaking his head. They both left the boy's room. Severus cancelling the silencing spells. 

"What happened?" Lucius asked worried. 

"Not now," Severus barely whispered. His head was pounding horribly and he couldn't deal with questions. He needed to go lie down. Needed to get his own mind clear. To think about this. "He's fine," Severus added. "I took care of it."

"Sev," Lucius said worry evident in his tone, "that was definitely not fine." A short pause and a shake of his head. Before he continued, "you are definitely not fine."

"I will be," Severus responded. "I just need to get a bit of sleep."

"Alright, but we will talk about this tomorrow evening," Lucius said after a long pause. He could see how pale Severus looked. How shaken. Whatever he'd seen or done had clearly drained his friend and he looked ready to fall over. Lucius couldn't press him now. He had seen for himself when Harry had relaxed into sleep. He didn't understand what Severus had done, but he knew it had worked. For now he'd take solace in that. 

Lucius watched as Severus returned to his room. He was still concerned for his friend. Sighing Lucius returned to his room. After taking one more look at Harry. 

Severus shed his robe. Dropping the flowing back material down onto the top of his trunk before crawling back into his bed. He lay back looking up at the ceiling. His mind spinning to what he'd just seen. His mind was swimming, both with what he'd just seen and what he remembered himself. 

The boy remembered the death of his parents. Severus found himself shaking still. The shock wearing off and turning to grief. Merlin he had just seen Lily die. Before his eyes. He could feel the tears silently falling. What bothered him more however and kept him awake for long hours afterwards was the presence he'd sensed. It had felt like black tar seeping around the memories. Like something fowl and corrupted had been in there with the boy. He shivered. It couldn't be. That didn't make any sense. Even the Dark Lord couldn't reach out that far could he? No surely not. Surely he was mistaken. He was just tired. 

He'd almost convinced himself of that when he slowly drifted off to sleep just as the clock chimed four am.


	23. Morning Already?

Severus was woken by the sound of footsteps in the hall outside him room. Blearily he blinked at the clock. It was barely eight in the morning. He'd managed to get four hours of sleep. He felt horrible. To say the least. His head was aching. His whole body felt drained and lethargic. He just wanted to roll over and go back to sleep. Sighing softly he knew he needed to get up. 

Rising shakily he started to slowly gather everything he'd need for a shower. Bringing with him only a loose white button down shirt and a pair of trousers. He'd finish dressing in his room. It always took him time to transfer his potions and inventory them anyways. 

An hour and a half later saw Severus showered, dressed in his usual black robes and heading down to breakfast. Where everyone else was already gathered in various stages of breakfast. Taking a plate he piled food onto it, not really caring what he ate. Taking a strong black cup of coffee. He got some odd looks from Lucius, but ignore them in favour of devouring the food before him. He was unusually silent. Having said nothing in greeting to anyone. He hadn't even realized he'd not said a word yet.

Harry and Draco were talking about the ski hills. Lucius was explaining how he'd take them to the hills and they would spend the day with him out there. Narcissa was reading over the menu for her spa thing. Severus was now done with his food and drinking his second cup of coffee with his eyes half closed. Savouring the taste and the fact he now felt much better. The headache potion had helped as well. 

"Uncle Severus," Draco asked him poking him hard in the side. Severus growled and opened his eyes staring at the overly excited child. Grunting to indicate he was listening. "Can you play Quidditch with us later? I want to team up with you and Father can team up with Harry and we can play against each other!"

"I'd rather not," Severus responded neutrally. He had no intention what so ever of getting on a broom. Every again if he could help it. He hated flying and he hated Quidditch. 

"Why?" Draco demanded pouting. Lucius laughed and Severus glared murderously at him. 

"Severus doesn't like flying Dragon," Narcissa said before either man could answer. 

"How come?" Draco pressed. 

"I don't really know," Narcissa replied to her son. Severus did his best to ignore the question. Preferring instead to pour himself a third cup of coffee. Narcissa went on, "he's never told me why."

"Father do you know why?" Draco said when he realized he'd not get an answer out of Severus. 

"No. He never did say, he just adamantly refuses to get on a broom," Lucius said by way of explanation. He'd tried weaselling an explanation out of Severus, but it had never worked. The man simply refused to explain. In fact he could still remember getting hexed for his troubles when he'd pressed the issue to far in school. Lucius figured something had happened and like everything else to do with Severus, he kept it secret. Some days Lucius wondered if the man was made of secrets. 

"Mother will you play then?" Draco asked pouting now. He'd wanted to play Quidditch after they got done snowboarding. 

"Sorry Dragon, I can't today," Narcissa said having gone back to her menu. 

"We could play a game of seekers Draco," Harry suggested timidly. 

"Actually that's a great idea," Lucius said rising and heading out of the room. Only to return with a small golden box in his hand. He handed it to both boys. "Open it," he instructed them. Draco handed it to Harry and told him to do it. Harry did and both boys stared in awe at the small gold ball inside. Lucius smiled and explained, "it's a practice snitch. So you boy won't be able to loose it like you could a regular snitch. A very careful phrase, the one written on the piece of parchment there at the bottom, will call the snitch to you when your on the ground. So you can always retrieve it."

"That is so cool!" Draco said grinning brightly. 

"Thank you Mr. Malfoy," Harry said politely handing the box to Draco so he could take a closer look. 

"Can we still play with it like a regular snitch father?" Draco asked. 

"Yes, so long as neither of you cheat and call the phrase to make it come to you. It'll behave just like a regular snitch," Lucius explained. 

"Well I'm going to head off dears, you boys behave yourselves," Narcissa said rising and with a big smile and a hug to the two boys, a swift kiss to Lucius she was gone. Lucius chuckled as the boys started to ask if they could get their gear and head out soon. 

"Are you still planning to go to the castle today Severus?" Lucius asked conversationally as he rose while the boys ran off towards the den. Clearly intent on getting their gear which was in the closet. 

"I was indeed, they also have a few caves I'd enjoy exploring," Severus said. Rising from the table when the boys came barrelling back in. Cloaks streaming behind them. Both clutching boards in their hands. 

With hasty good-byes Severus headed out the back trail and Lucius apparated the two boys to the mountain hills. 

Severus chose to walk all the way to the Castle, taking the trails and seeing the scenery in hopes the mindless wandering would help ease his mind. It was relaxing. Quiet and peaceful. Severus even found himself harvesting a few ingredients as he walked from some of the snow covered greenery around him. By the time he reached the Castle it was already noon. He hadn't even realized he'd been taking that long. 

Amazed at how fast the time was going Severus found himself walking through the dungeons of the Castle. Slowly reading the displays enjoying himself fully. It was rather interesting to walk through one of the museums dedicated to Merlin's life. All the information was something Severus had already read in the texts, but to read it with the exhibits around him was ecstatic. He loved this. It was almost time to leave by the time he finished the dungeons. He would have to return to do the rest of the castle soon. Definitely before he left. Sighing resigned he left the dungeons. 

Walking back down the path to a spot that would serve to apparate. Severus made him his way towards where Lucius and Narcissa stood waiting for him and the boys. Severus hadn't even realized he was smiling broadly. Having completely forgotten his previous worries.


	24. Tired Children and Awkward Conversations

Dusk was slowly beginning to darken the sky around them as they collected the kids down at the bottom of the slope. Draco and Harry were talking and laughing about something. Severus smiled brightly at this as he turned his gaze to Lucius who was watching him with one raised eyebrow. 

"What?" Severus asked his friend scowling. 

"I haven't seem you actually smile since Lily gave you that potions book for your birthday in first year," Lucius said grinning at his friend at the fond memory. Severus seemed to draw away from them at those words his face taking on the same aloof coldness he'd come to learn meant the man was occluding his thoughts and emotions far deeper then usual. Lucius sighed. "Sev, come on I'm glad to see you smile, don't let the memories ruin your day."

Narcissa had walked away from them a few paces to meet the kids and Severus could hear her chatting with the boys and it seemed they had had a great time. Apparently, Lucius heard as he watched Severus, Draco had taught Harry how to snowboard something that made him proud of his son. Lucius knew that Draco had always wanted a younger brother, but after so long at being a single child he had been worried Draco wouldn't want to share. He was glad he'd been wrong. 

"Where did you go today Sev?" Lucius asked to draw the conversation away from whatever weighed so heavily on Severus's mind now that he'd brought up Lily. 

"Dad, I'm tired," Draco said coming up to Lucius looking up at his father with blinking eyes. Rubbing sleepily at his face with one gloved hand. Lucius bent down and collected his son in his arms rising until he had the boy placed firmly on his right side. Draco leaned his head on his father's shoulder. 

"Merlin your getting heavy Dragon," Lucius said sighing as his son mumbled incoherently in response before drifting off to sleep. Lucius looked over at Severus who was laughing at the scene. His eyebrow rose and Severus simply shrugged before walking over to Narcissa who had Harry's hand in her's and found that Harry was almost as sleepy as Draco was. 

"I'll take him Cissa," Severus said nothing the expression on his friends face. Narcissa smiled at him as he bent down and gathered the sleepy child into his arms. Harry lay his head on his shoulder and mumbled a thank you before falling asleep on him. "He is far to light," Severus commented as he shifted the slight child into a much more comfortable position. "I've lifted Draco and he's a good weight, Harry definitely isn't." 

"I have noticed Severus," Narcissa said looking at the small sleeping child on her friends shoulder her hand gently pushing his hair out of his face. "I can lift him up and I certainly can't lift Draco that easily anymore."

"I can barely lift Draco," Lucius commented shifting his weight so he could hold his cane and child in a firmer grip. "Come on lets get back to our rooms." Everyone nodded and they apparated back to the lodge without any further discussion. Walking quickly up the long hallway to the two rooms that were side by side. Severus and Narcissa went into Harry's room so Narcissa could tuck him in and Lucius took care of Draco. 

Soon both children were settled and all three adults where seated on the couches in the den with a bright fire burning in the hearth. Severus was leaning back in his seat furthest from the fire his eyes closed as he listened to Lucius and Narcissa talk about the children's day and what they had observed. Severus lost himself to his thoughts.

As often happened when her name was brought up Severus couldn't help but remember the night he'd found her dead. He could still feel that pain and grief as if it had happened only yesterday and not eleven years ago. It was the greatest weakness he had, and it was his greatest strength. He knew that and he hated it. He could never admit how deeply he'd loved her, even after she'd married James. He loved her even now. Would he ever be able to let her go? He didn't know. Maybe some day, but not today. 

"... Sev?" Lucius called him again. Clearly he'd been drifting off in his own little world because it was evident that Lucius had been trying to gain his attention. For how long Severus didn't know. 

"Yes?" Severus said without opening his eyes. He hadn't realized it, but Merlin was he tired. The night before had been one sleepless night. 

"I asked you what happened last night," Lucius said repeating the question he'd asked before calling the man's name a half a dozen times. 

"Harry had a nightmare," Severus stated simply not really realizing that Lucius wasn't asking that, but wanting to know the details. 

"Yes, that I am well aware of Severus, are you going to elaborate? Or are you really that tired you don't even know what I'm talking about?" Lucius demanded his eyes narrowing as he regarded the man before him. The face that was normally pale to begin with was ashen, almost devoid of colouring. The closed eyes were almost as black as if they were open so deep were the shadows beneath his eyes. Lucius had to wonder if the man had been sleeping at all this break, this was clearly not from one night of lack of sleep. Even with his head leaned back his hair was curtaining his features and obscuring anything else from his view. He'd seen enough and when Severus didn't respond to his question quickly he got worried. 

"I don't think I can elaborate Lucius," Severus stated plainly, though his voice was far lower then it had been a moment ago. 

"Sev are you alright?" Narcissa finally asked, "you look horrible," she added hopping that would make him say something other then 'I'm fine'.

"I will be," was all Severus said in response. In truth he was anything but fine. The event's from Halloween night were still spinning in his mind. The Order meeting in November caused him even more worries and pressure then what he'd already been under. The Death Eater meeting was also weighing heavy on his mind, what the Dark Lord wanted from him was something he didn't want to create at all, but what choice did he have? The fears and problems of the child being kept away from the Dark Lord now that he was to be living with Lucius was also keeping him up at night. Not to mention his own place in all this. The last week had show him just how close Harry was to Lily's personality, and how much of his own past swam in the child's memories. The nightmare from last night was a whole other ball of wax. Did the child even know or understand what he was seeing? He had of course used Legilimency on the child because he couldn't get Harry to speak at all. It had taken all his skills just to get the child calm again and to Occlude his mind enough to get him back to sleep. He had had no choice but to see the thoughts that the child had dreamed while he was putting up the barriers in the child's mind. Now though he couldn't get them out of his own mind. What was he going to do? He couldn't floo Albus about this. This was something he'd have to talk to Albus in person in a very secure area. He couldn't tell Lucius. What could he tell Lucius?

Severus didn't realize it, but as he was thinking he had started to fall asleep once more and Lucius was just staring at him openly now. Narcissa was aghast at his answer. Having fully expected the 'I'm fine' to have received something that was close to an admittance of being unwell. It made her quite worried. 

"Sev, wake up!" Lucius said in his ear as he grabbed the man's shoulder and shook him. He had expected a reaction, but never the one he did get. Severus jumped up his eyes flying open and his wand landing in his hand his stance rigid and his wild gaze sweeping for threats. Lucius had barely even spoken the first word as he saw the man's reaction. He'd barely touched Severus to garner such a reaction and now stood with both hands raised wondering if he was about to get cursed. 

"Luc, what in Merlin's name?" Severus asked seeing nothing but his friends, he slid his wand back up his sleep and lowered himself to sit back down. Lucius looked at him with worried eyes. 

"Your acting really weird Sev, and it's unsettling, care to share?" Lucius stated sitting down and frowning deeply. He had never seen anything like this from Severus. Not since he was a child. It unnerved him. Usually nothing could take Severus by surprise. He was always awake before the door even opened to his sleeping area. Then again he'd only ever seen Severus fall asleep sitting up a handful of time. Usually the first noise anyone made woke him up. When Severus didn't answer him Lucius pressed, "when's the last time you slept a full night Sev?" 

"Before Halloween," Severus replied truthfully. Pinching the bridge of his nose as he realized he had a headache forming. 

"Merlin, why?" Narcissa demanded.

"You know why," Severus said in response. Which was true. They all knew why. He worked too hard and took too much on his own shoulders. 

"Sev, it's time you started sharing your burdens, your not alone and you can't keep going like this you are going to crash and then what will you do? What good will that do?" Lucius stated bluntly. Severus regarded him for a long time. Could he really trust Lucius? Did he have a choice? Lucius had a right to know, didn't he? Was it his place to tell? Too many questions, no answers to be had. Severus sighed and leaned back in his seat again. Silent. 

"Merlin Sev, do you really not trust me? After everything we've been through?" Lucius said getting angry. 

"You know I do Luc, it isn't that easy! I can't afford to trust you with everything, I don't want to see you dead for it," Severus said softly. Had he not been that tired he'd never have admitted anything, "you're all the family I have left Luc, I can't loose you like I lost Lily."

Now that he'd said it Lucius was at a loss how to respond. So that was why Severus didn't trust him. A part of Lucius felt relieved and proud to know how deeply Severus cared for him. The other part wanted to throttle the man for being so obtuse. Luckily the voice of reason Narcissa spoke before he could. At least that's what he thought.

"Sev," her voice was soft and her tone gentle, "what do you think would happen to us if you died? How do you think we'd feel? Knowing that we couldn't be there to help you because we never even knew you were in too deep?"

"I..." Severus looked up and met her shinny eyes. It was clear that Narcissa was close to tears as she met his obsidian gaze. 

"I thought as much. I won't sit by and watch you do this to yourself Sev, either you talk to us or you walk back out that door right now!" Narcissa said her voice harsh. She couldn't just sit here and have the man being stubborn and watch her little brother kill himself because he refused to risk anyone else. 

"Cissa," Lucius said startled. He'd never heard her being this harsh with Severus before and it took him by surprise. 

"No Luc, I'm not going to sit here and watch him kill himself because he's too stubborn to let us help him! Damn it I've watch him hurt himself for far too long, I've had enough!" Narcissa thundered rising to her feet to glower at the tired looking man. 

"I'm not trying to kill myself," Severus said into the silence that had fallen. His voice was soft and held a hard edge of emotion. He couldn't understand how Narcissa could be so cold with him and yet he completely understood her. He sighed, "I can't tell you everything Cissa, even if I wanted to, and Merlin help me I do want to!"

"Then tell us what you can Sev!" Narcissa demanded. 

"The Dark Lord suspects that I am trying to sabotage his attempts to get the stone," Severus admitted what Lucius already knew. "I stopped Quirrell from attempting to get into the corridor at Hogwarts where the Headmaster has the stone hidden," Severus continued admitting what Lucius hadn't know. Severus fell silent for a long moment before he continued on, "if he suspects me already when he learns you have Harry Potter as your ward you can imagine what he will do Lucius."

"For once in your life Sev, let me worry about my own life!" Lucius said sighing. He had wondered much the same thing himself, how would he keep his family safe? A strange thought that his family now included the child who had caused the weakened state the Dark Lord was in now. 

"You know I can't do that Luc," Severus said in response. Though at least now Lucius knew part of what was bothering him. 

"That isn't all Sev and you know it," Narcissa pressed, knowing full well that that alone wouldn't keep him up at night. 

"I don't know that I can complete the task he has assigned me," Severus finally said after a long pause. 

"What task Sev?" Lucius pressed in turn. Pleased they had spelled the area with privacy spells and silencing charms on their first day along with wards of all kinds. 

"He requested I invent a poison that is similar to the Cruciatus curse but will slowly kill it's victim over a period of twenty four hour. A potion that will have no taste or smell to it and no antidote," Severus continued. The last he knew he wouldn't do. He wasn't about to create a poison that could be used on him or the Malfoys without having an antidote, but he knew that he would have to make it so that it couldn't be cured with Golpalott's third law. That part wouldn't be too hard and neither would mimicking the effects of the cruciatus curse there were already enough potions out there that caused that level of pain, but they were not deadly. To make one that was deadly over a long period of time instead of shortly after consumption would be the challenge. Along with making it undetectable. 

"You worry why he wants this?" Lucius asked. Narcissa looked appalled and revolted at the thought. 

"No I know exactly why he wants it, I worry why the Headmaster wants me to go ahead with it," Severus stated bluntly. Having given up trying to hide this now. Clearly it wouldn't matter anymore anyways. 

"I guess we all know why he wants it," Lucius finally said after a long pause. 

"Will you make an antidote?" Narcissa asked in a small voice. 

"Unless I want to die by my own invention, yes," Severus said bitterly. Lucius and Narcissa stared at him open mouthed. 

"Care to explain that last bit Sev?" Lucius pressed needing to know why Severus thought that he would be the one being dosed with the poison. 

"He begins to doubt I am on his side, being forced to act against Quirrell has proven to alert him that my loyalties may not be to him entirely. Quirrell is expandable, should he fail to get the stone it wouldn't matter, he would expect me to finish the task. That I prevented Quirrell from dying in the attempt was seen as suspicious. He'll hold the poison as a way to threaten me into obedience," Severus stated in a mater of fact tone. 

"Why did you stop him then?" Lucius asked.

"I was ordered to," Severus stated plainly, "and I couldn't allow him to discover that one of the safeguards keeping the stone secure is my own magic and invention." 

"Why does the blasted fool not simply destroy the stone!?" Lucius asked wide eyed. Unable to belief that Dumbledore would continually place Severus in harms way to protect the stone. Did the man care so little for him? These thoughts unsettled Lucius almost as much as his overworked and exhausted friend. 

"Nicholas will not allow him," Severus replied. He had had this conversation with the headmaster just the other day and it was not making him any less annoyed at it. He was angry at Albus for risking his life over a stone. Something that they could destroy and be done with it. 

Lucius watched Severus for a long moment. Determined that he would have a word with Dumbledore himself before Severus was forced to risk his life over something so stupid again. This was ridiculous of all the things the blasted fool had done. 

"Tell me why Harry's nightmare last night upset you so much," Lucius demanded. He continued before Severus could speak, "and do not even try to tell me you can't. I know damn well you know exactly what that was all about!"

"He remembers that night," Severus stated simply. Lucius stared at him in horror. Narcissa gasped. They all knew what he was talking about. "It's more complicated then that," Severus continued. "There was another presence in the memories, one that is way too familiar."

"You can't mean..." Lucius said horrified. 

"I am not certain what I mean Lucius, or what I saw for that matter. There is only one person who'll know for sure," Severus said. Lucius nodded. 

"You'll ask him then?" Narcissa pressed.

"As soon as I return to Hogwarts," Severus confirmed. A moment later a scream cut through the silence that had fallen and had all three adults looking towards Harry's closed door as the scream turned into a blood curdling cry of pain. Severus felt a chill creep up his spine as he rose quickly from his seat. He was not the first to reach the door this time. Narcissa had beat him to it and was already walking to Harry's room when he entered. She was seating herself on the bed drawing the child from beneath the covers even as his cries resonated in their ears. He had been curled up into a ball with both hands pressed to his forehead. 

Narcissa's soft voice mixed with the child's terrified shrieks as she slowly started to sing an all to familiar lullaby. She gently rocked the child who was now buried in her arms. Slowly Lucius and Severus watched him calm much as he had when Severus had held him. His breathing was still too laboured and coming in ragged gasps. Severus crossed to Narcissa and sat down next to her taking out a calming draught from his pocket. Slowly he handed it to her. Narcissa coaxed the child to drink and when Harry had drank the contents his breathing slowly eased. Narcissa handed the empty vial to Severus who pocketed it and handed her a vial of dreamless sleep. They got Harry to drink that potion down and Narcissa rocked him still singing softly as she did until he was asleep again. Rising she tucked him in and followed Severus from the room.

"Is this going to be a nightly thing?" She asked as she closed the door lightly in their wake. 

"I don't know," Severus said tiredly. Remembering how last night the dreams had broken through the potion until he'd occluded the child's mind. "The only thing I know is I cannot occlude his mind every night, it will cause too much damage."

"Is there any way for him to do it himself?" Narcissa asked, having very little knowledge of the magic as she had never studied it. Lucius shook his head. 

"He's too young," Severus started, "but I fear that is what will need to happen when he is slightly older."

"What do we do until then?" Lucius asked worried.

"I don't know," Severus admitted frustrated. "You cannot keep giving him Dreamless Sleep as it will stop working when his body builds up a tolerance," Severus continued knowing this all too well from personal experience. "There are some other addictive properties to it as well that could cause him to crave it, something I don't want him to experience," Severus paused thinking again. "I don't know what else would help, this isn't my area of expertise. What did you do for Draco when he had nightmares?" 

"His were never this bad," Narcissa admitted. Considering before she spoke again. "For him I would have Lucius hold him while he fell asleep, since his nightmares were that his father would not return. It seemed to help sooth him. On the nights when Lucius wasn't there I would sing him to sleep wrapped up in one of his father's shirts. As silly as it sounds the clothing holds his scent and it helped sooth the child giving him comfort."

"Try something similar then," Severus suggested having no other ideas himself. He had no experience with children and even less with this aspect. Having had to deal with his own nightmares he was loath to tell them to teach him to suck it up, since that wasn't a solution he would wish on anyone. 

"I don't think my scent will sooth the boy Sev," Lucius said chuckling at the thought. 

"Not what I meant Luc," Severus said laughing at the thought himself. "Surely the child must have some sort of comfort toy? A stuffed animal or blanket? He also seemed to respond to the song that Narcissa was singing. Maybe that with some sort of comfort toy will sooth him?"

"It's worth a try," Narcissa stated, "for now I think you need to get some sleep and we best get to bed as I can guarantee that Draco will be up early tomorrow for Christmas."

"Sev, spell your room will you, I think we can deal with Harry tonight, you need to sleep," Narcissa added as he was walking into his room. He regarded her, intent on arguing for a moment before finally nodding and doing just that before closing the door to his room.


	25. Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is suppose to be a bit of a fluff piece. Mostly I just wanted to do something cute and laid back and take a bit of a break from the drama that's in the story. Also wanting to show a bit of the Harry/Draco dynamics. What better way to do that then with a little Christmas fun!

Severus woke up to footsteps in his room. He tensed reaching for his wand which he kept under his pillow at night. His hand closing over the carved wood. His eyes opening only a slit. He stilled his movements as he realized that the form moving towards him was just a hesitant child. He blinked. What was a child doing in his room? Better question why hadn't he heard the door? Oh yes. Now he remembered he'd shielded the room last night so he could sleep through all the house noise. Blinking fully awake he had just pulled his hand out from under his pillow leaving the wand there when he felt something collide with his chest. 

"Mor-Ufffff," Severus gasped. Trying to say good morning but failing at the sudden impact. 

"Wake up Uncle Severus, IT'S CHRISTMAS!" Draco shouted jumping up and down on his chest. Ok that kind of hurt a lot. Severus sighed. At least the child was happy. 

"Umm'ake" Severus sleepily mumbled out. Wondering why his words were coming out slurred when he was thinking them perfectly fine. Maybe he really wasn't all that awake. Draco flattened him with a tight hug and Severus gasped out as arms tightened around his neck. "antbeath," he tried to say: can't breathe. All that came out was unintelligent garble. 

"GET UP!" Draco demanded from next to his ear. Severus had just about enough of this. A quick spell had Draco pulled off his chest and floating a foot in the air above him. Severus yawned and observed the squirming giggling child trying to get down. 

"Dragon, I'm awake. You do not need to strangle, flatten or deafen me," Severus chided gently. 

"How'd you do that? You didn't speak? You don't have a wand? Can I learn?" Draco babbled laughing down at his uncle. 

"It's called nonverbal and wandless magic child, and yes when you're older I can teach you," Severus said gently. 

"But I want to learn now," Draco pouted. 

"Patience Dragon," Severus said wearily. He continued gently, "now why are you shouting? What has happened?"

"It's Christmas Uncle Severus and father will not let us open our gifts until you are downstairs and we have all had breakfast," Draco said by way of explanation. "Mother said to let you sleep, but I want to open presents. So I snuck in and decided to wake you up!" He sounded proud that he'd snuck up on his uncle. Given that Severus was notoriously hard to sneak up on. He wasn't going to mention there had been spells making that possible. Allowing the child to believe he'd managed the nearly-impossible feet on his own. He wasn't going to inform the child he'd been awake the moment he'd heard the first footfall long before being attacked by his godson. It was christmas after all. 

"Alright well in that case go on back downstairs and let Lucius know I'll be done in a minute," Severus said. His eyes moving causing the boy to fly to the side of his bed and slowly be let down as he looked down towards the floor. It was easier to use the eye-contact as a way to guide the spell when he wasn't using his wand. Draco giggled and ran out of the room slamming the door noiselessly. That he could actually get used to. Noiseless slamming doors. Sighing he rose. Yawned and stretched. He debated taking a shower to fully wake up. Knowing Draco he'd be pounding on the washroom door in less then five minutes time. Sighing Severus decided to just get dressed and shower later.

A few moments later saw a still rather half asleep Severus walking down the stairs. Having no idea what time it actually was. Lucius laughed up-roaringly when Severus mumbled some form of good morning that sounded quite incoherent and then sat down with a huff. 

"I see Draco dragged you out of bed this morning Sev," Lucius said. It wasn't a question. Severus nodded and grabbed the coffee. 

"Draco!" Narcissa chided. "What did I tell you?"

"To let him sleep, but Mother!" Draco whined but was silenced by her hard look. 

"Cissa it's fine," Severus said gently. Not wanting to see Draco loose his good mood or be punished for waking him. He was finally starting to wake up with the coffee warming his insides. He yawned. "Plus I got to fly him around my room a little like I used to do when he was little. I forgot how fun that was."

"Oh heaven, is he still begging you to teach him that?" Lucius asked. 

"Why can't I learn it father?" Draco demanded. 

"I don't even know the spell he uses Dragon," Lucius smiled. He gave his friend a one eyebrow raised stare. "Severus likes to make new spells and not teach anyone. He's rather mysterious like that."

"That's not fair!" Draco declared staring at his uncle. 

"Dragon, your father is teasing you love," Narcissa said laughing. Severus smirked into his cup. They'd been doing that to him since he was a tiny infant. 

"Professor Snape you can make people fly?" Harry asked with wide eyes. 

"It's Uncle Severus when were not in school Harry, and yes I can. After breakfast I'll fly you both out into the living room so we can all open our present," Severus explained. 

"I have presents?" Harry asked in awe. Severus looked at him startled. It was clear from Narcissa and Lucius's aghast look that none of them had been expecting that. 

"Well duh, that's what everyone gets on Christmas," Draco said in shock. 

"Draco!" Narcissa chided but never got to finish as Harry was answering Draco.

"I never did before," Harry whispered. 

"Well you will now! Mother always makes sure everyone has lots of presents, Uncle Severus and Father do to. Though Father says it's proper to only buy three presents for everyone that way it's not a giant pile and everyone gets the same amount. Mother doesn't do that though. She likes to buy a lot of presents for us," Draco declared grinning at Harry. 

"Alright boys eat your breakfast," Lucius said pointing to the still full plates of food in front of Harry and Draco. Severus had already half eaten his. Narcissa and Lucius were already done with their meal. Lucius returned to reading the paper while he drank his tea. Severus was just happy to sit quietly and drink another cup of coffee while the children finished up their food. 

True to his word Severus levitated the two boys through the air and to the living room. All without saying a word or using his wand. He loved the shouts and bursts of laughter that ensued from the boys. All too soon they entered the large living room where a giant enchanted christmas tree sat in one corner. A roaring fire already dancing merrily in the fireplace. Stacks of multicoloured gifts sat under the tree. The dark black boxes sanding out against the cheery colors of the other wrapping paper. Severus smirked.

"Really Severus, your still using black wrapping paper? It hasn't gotten old yet?" Lucius laughed. 

"Don't mess with tradition Luc. You know what they say," Severus said in response. 

"What do they say Prof-, I mean, Uncle Severus?" Harry asked hesitating on the name. 

"It's bad luck," Draco replied proudly. 

"Why?" Harry asked. 

"It's just a saying Harry," Draco said shrugging. 

"Ok," Harry responded giving up. It wasn't worth trying to figure it out anyways. He'd never been part of any traditions before. Severus watched the exchange with a smug look on his face. Setting the boy's down in the centre of the rug. Harry just stood looking at the giant piles of presents. Draco had no such qualms. He walked straight to the pile and grabbed up boxes walking around handing one to everyone. Draco sat down on the rug and Harry followed suit. Severus, Lucius and Narcissa had all settled themselves in comfortable armchairs in a semi-circle around the boys. 

Harry looked up at Draco wondering what happened next. The other boy wasn't paying attention he was too busy tearing into the package. 

"Go ahead Harry, open your gift," Narcissa encouraged watching the two children. Their camera was busily taking pictures for them so they didn't need to worry at all. Narcissa would of course make a christmas album like she did every year. The manor held a whole row of them. It was another tradition. That particular shelf had followed through Lucius's family for generations. He'd not looked at all of them of course. There were just too many. The same couldn't be said about Narcissa. She'd looked at everyone of them.

Harry hesitated another moment before starting to unwrap the present with care. Draco had already uncovered his gift and was busily reading the back of the box. This was how the morning progressed with everyone opening gifts until only boxes for the children remained under the tree. Even then Draco kept handing them out one at a time. 

"What's that Harry?" Draco asked when Harry had opened a mysteriously unmarked box to revealing a strange looking cloak. 

"I don't know," Harry said frowning. 

"That child is an invisibility cloak if I'm not mistaken. Try it on and lets see," Lucius drawled looking curiously at it. Harry didn't bother getting up he just draped it over his shoulders and closed the front over his legs. Everything except his head vanished. 

"Wow, that's brilliant!" Draco announced, "Who's it from?" 

Harry looked into the box and frowned. "It doesn't say. It just says that it was my dads and he gave it to someone, doesn't say who."

Severus had to occlude his thoughts quickly to keep the blank mask in place. He'd known the headmaster had the cloak. Or at least suspected he did. That he gave it to Harry. Now of all times. What was the old man thinking? Lucius was looking at him oddly. Severus shook his head. 

"Oh well, lets just keep opening up presents then!" Draco said bored with the cloak already. He got back up and retrieved the last few gifts handing them out to Harry and himself before sitting down again. Tearing eagerly into his present pile. When they were done Narcissa handed them both a bag so they could put their presents in it to take them to their room. As the boys started to pick up their present pile to place into the bag, Narcissa walked towards the desk in the far corner, where Lucius had been doing some of his paperwork over the holidays, gathering up stacks of neatly folded white cards with fancy gold embossing on the front. She passed out a small stack to everyone. 

Harry took his and looked confused, "what's this for ma'am?"

"It's so you can write a thank you note to everyone who sent you presents. We'll be sending them all out tomorrow," Narcissa instructed. Harry smiled at her. He liked that idea. It seemed like a really nice thing to do. 

"We'll meet back here in an hour for some tea and a few quiet games. Were going out for a late lunch at a restaurant at around 1pm so you'll have plenty of time to play a few games," Lucius instructed the boys.

* * *

An hour later saw everyone gathered back in the clean living room. Draco and Harry sitting on opposite sides of a coffee table playing a game of wizards chest. Severus reading one of the rare books Narcissa had gotten him. Lucius doing some of his paperwork and Narcissa working on a bit of needlework. Embroidering a Gryffindor lion into what looked like a soft blanket. 

Their quiet morning slowly tapered into lunch. The time seemed to melt away in the quiet hours finding everyone enjoying themselves. For Harry the peaceful Christmas morning was the most wonderful day of his life. He felt accepted and included and enjoyed it immensely. Severus had felt the same way the very first time he'd been present at the Malfoys for Christmas. It was something he looked forward too every year. Which was a strange thing seeing as Severus so rarely liked 'cheery' things. 

Soon Lucius sent the boys upstairs to dress and everyone gathered their things. They would be heading to a restaurant at the resort for a late lunch. Just as everyone were entered the large foyer of the expensive restaurant both Severus and Lucius froze. Pain shot through their mark and both looked at each other. 

"Narcissa we must be leaving. Stay and enjoy lunch with the boys," Lucius said. A moment before he could turn around he found himself wrapped up in his son's strong hold. 

"Dad please," Draco almost begged in a pleading voice, "don't go." 

"Shh Dragon, it's ok," Lucius said picking him up and hugging him tightly. "I have to go, you know that. Stay with your mother and brother. You have to take care of them while I'm gone. Now go and make sure they enjoy their lunch." Lucius's words were soft and gentle, as he gave his son yet another hug, before putting him down and pushing him towards Narcissa. Narcissa took Draco's hand and held him tightly at her side. 

"Be safe, both of you!" Narcissa called as Lucius and Severus left. Their soft promise echoing back to her and she pushed Draco towards Harry. Lucius turned at the door one last time to watch as Narcissa guided the boys further into the room. An air of sadness had seeped into the family as the distance between them increased. 

"It'll be fine Lucius, we need to go," Severus said gently putting his hand on the older man's shoulder. With one final nod Lucius followed Severus out into the cold to apparate away to the Dark Lord's side.


	26. A Dark Celebration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING:** this scene will contain a little description of torture. The Death Eater Party is described in a general feel more then actual detail. There is mention of what goes on in the back rooms. I do not get into details as I am trying to keep it clean shall we say.
> 
> Read at your own discretion. You may skip this chapter if you do not wish to read this sort of thing. Though there are some plot important things that will happen I will make sure that it is overviewed in the next chapter for those preferring not to read the in-depth scenes. 
> 
> The content of this chapter is not appropriate to all audience. Read at your own discretion.

Severus cast one more look towards Lucius before the two of them slid their masks into place. The walk to Riddle Manor was cold. It wasn't however just a temperature or weather affect. Something sinister was hanging in the air tonight. The taste of fear hung heavy in the air. Clouding the forest around them. Severus gave a slight shiver. Occluding every thought until his mind was blank. He looked over to Lucius to see that the other was drawing heavily on his decorum and aristocratic upbringing. His back was straight. Shoulders back. Head held high. His stride almost flawless. Except for the slight limp. Good he was composed. They might just survive this night after all. Severus thought with a wry smirk. 

Gliding into the Manor the atmosphere of oppression increased. The marble halls and wooden floors resonated with whimpers and cries. Small screams punctuating the air. The scent of blood already thick in the air. Severus knew exactly what this was and cringed. A Death Eater party. Something he had hoped never to be a part of again. 

They entered the main room and found a large table dominating the centre with food laid out around it. Various other Death Eaters sat at the table. No one had exposed their faces. Yet. It would come. As they took their places more Death Eaters filtered in until everyone was present. The Dark Lord rose then and faced them all. Snakes slithering along the floor. Some slithering up chairs and onto the table. It was so typical of the Dark Lord to have a room full of snakes at Christmas to freak them all out. Severus wasn't scared of snakes. He had three as pets himself. He was however uncomfortable with the Dark Lord's pets. They were all as bloodthirsty and vicious as he. No doubt because he spoke to them and made them crave human flesh. Severus couldn't suppress the shiver. That was the whole point. To make them uncertain. He wouldn't kill them. Yet. He wanted them to be unnerved by a display of power. 

Severus sat still as stone. His eyes riveted on the blood red eyes that scanned the room. The Dark Lord was smiling and that was wholly unnatural. If he was happy something horrible was in store. 

"My brethren, welcome!" The Dark Lord hissed. "Tonight we celebrate! Uncover your faces that we might enjoy the nights entertainment properly." Every Death Eater quickly obeyed. Severus schooled his features into neutrality before he pulled his mask off. Placing it into his robes. "Good, now eat. I have something special for desert."

Severus regarded the food around him not hungry in the least. He knew what would be coming next. Never the less he had to eat at least as much as he always did at these things. Or else he would be part of the nights... entertainment. He suppressed a shiver at those thoughts. Putting a small amount of food on his plate. He ate in a very controlled methodical way. The motions reminded him of when he would return to Hogwarts after a summer at home. How he would have to control how much and how quickly he ate. Only this time it was not due to starvation. It was due to the horrors the night promised. 

The meal progressed quickly. Mostly due to the excitement from the others. Severus could see that Lucius wasn't eating much either. He kept an eye on Lucius from the corner of his eye. Making sure to keep his gaze focused on his plate. While scanning his surroundings to keep tabs on everything else. A tiring exercise. 

Soon the food on the table vanished. Severus sat up straight and watched as the Dark Lord rose. He waved his hands towards the back doors and they opened. The screams and whimpers that had been heard all throughout the meal were now louder. Clear that the rooms beyond held prisoners. 

"Go forth and enjoy the festivities!" The Dark Lord hissed at them. As one they all rose. Before anyone could actually leave the table he called. "Lucius, Severus a word if you please." Neither of them were under the impression that it was anything but an order. Even though the words made it sound like a request. It was an order. Lucius and Severus walked around and bowed down before him. Knowing full well that is what he expected them to do. 

"Stand," the Dark Lord said gleefully. Pleased. They rose. His blood red eyes looked from one to the other. "Severus tell me did you complete the potion yet?"

"No my lord," Severus said his tone respectful. 

"A shame," the Dark Lord hissed clearly disappointed. "Ah well. I did give you a month to complete it. So I mustn't be too disappointed in you. Lucius. Lucius. Lucius. I've heard rumours, Lucius. Do you know what I've heard?"

"No my lord," Lucius said. Severus could guess where this was going and he didn't like it one bit. 

"I heard that you had Harry Potter within your grasp. Why then is he not here?" the Dark Lord hissed out in anger. 

"..." Lucius opened his mouth to speak, but words seem to fail him. Severus cast one look at his friend. He could see the drain in color on the others face. The fear. 

"Why Lucius!?" Demanded the Dark Lord. Rising his wand to point it at Lucius. 

"H-he's just a child, my lord," Lucius replied weakly. 

"Pathetic! I had always wondered at your weakness for children. Has it really clouded you to our cause?" The Dark Lord asked. Flicking his wand. Lucius was thrown against the wall behind him landing in a crumpled heap. 

"My lord if you would allow me to explain," Severus said quickly. His voice barely above a whisper. It was evident that the Dark Lord heard. For he turned to face Severus. 

"I do not appreciate interruptions Severus," the Dark Lord's angry words pulsed over Severus and he wondered if his actions were going to end in both their deaths. Could this really be deterred now. "However, I am curious what the two of you are planning. I'll save the punishment until I'm satisfied with your explanation Severus. Do continue."

"Yes my lord. Forgive me for interrupting," Severus began. Forcing his tone to be respectful. Even though it galled him to ask for forgiveness to a man who had none to give. Trying to keep his anger and emotions in check. Severus continued quickly, "An opportunity arose for Potter to be sponsored by a wizarding family. The Malfoys were able to gain that position, but caution must be taken. Dumbledore is watching them closely my lord. Very closely. To bring the child before you at this time would likely expose you, my lord. Expose us all. However, if we bid our time. Allow the Malfoys to raise the boy. Befriend him. We could turn him, my lord."

Severus could see that his words were making the creature think. Hesitate slightly. It was enough to make him continue. "Imagine my lord, if the Potter child came to you willingly. Gave you his vow. Took the mark. How much more powerful you would be!" 

"Severus, you always were a brilliant man," the Dark Lord hissed lovingly. It was a disgusting sound that made Severus's blood run cold. He could feel Lucius standing behind him again. Though he leaned more heavily on his cane. The Dark Lord continued in the same tone, "always my favourite. See Lucius you could learn much from Severus. Keep the boy. Raise him. When he is of age bring him to me. And Lucius, he better willingly give himself to me or I will kill you all! Slowly." 

"Yes my lord," Lucius whispered. They had six years to work with. If the creature didn't change it's mind. Severus could only hope that they managed to keep him satisfied.

"Crucio," the Dark Lord hissed out without warning. His wand pointed at Lucius. Severus heard Lucius's screams echoing from beside him. He didn't look and didn't react. Keeping his gaze down and his body still and silent. The curse broke and another hiss sounded, "Crucio."

Severus felt the molten touch of the curse hit him and sucked in a breath. Falling to his knees as agony washed through him. He was shaking uncontrollably. He did not scream. His teeth bit hard into his bottom lip. He could taste the metallic tang of blood. As quick as it came it was gone. He breathed in deeply to try and regain control of his muscles. Channeling the pain into a usable energy. 

"Go on, enjoy the evenings festivities. After you've sufficiently indulged. You may return to your -Christmas- dinners. I'm sure your wife has noticed your absence by now," the Dark Lord said walking away from them. Severus moved then. Looking over at Lucius who was just starting to push himself up. The gratitude in those eyes was tangible. Severus nodded quickly. They couldn't speak here. The walls had eyes and ears. Both rose slowly. 

Severus couldn't help but think on what 'sufficiently indulged' meant. He knew he would have to leave a body and it would have to be a gruesome sight. Nothing short of 'tortured remains' would do. Otherwise he'd be the one left bleeding and broken at the Dark Lords feet. At least he could avoid the women. What the Death Eaters did to them was far far worse. The perverted sexual appetites of some of the males in the Dark Lord's employ was enough to make Severus nauseated just thinking about it. At least he didn't have to witness it, anymore. He was grateful for that.

Though he couldn't stop himself from at least thinking somewhat of those times. The memories were so close to the surface. He'd only been an initiate then. Having just received the mark. He was not allowed to enjoy the parties 'alone'. He was assigned to a Death Eater every time. For the first three years. Never the same one twice. The things he'd been forced to do. The things he'd seen them do. Those memories haunted him the most. 

His hand hesitated as he reached out to open the door to a male's 'room'. A heartbeat passed like that before he pushed the door open. The male inside was tall. Bulky and tied up. Gagged and left on the bed. Severus shivered. The room stank of things he didn't want to think about. Thin lines of blood dripped from the man onto the mattress. He would need to kill the man and torture him first. At least he didn't have to linger to do it. Hatting himself for this. Hatting what he was going to do.

Severus drew out a vial from his pocket. The thick mirky blood red liquid swirled within. Looking as though it were alive as it swirled up the side of the vial before coming back down. One of his first inventions for the Dark Lord. Though hardly ever used. He walked to the male's side. At least he was an adult. Defiant eyes glared back at him. He pushed the gag out of the man's mouth bringing the vial to his lips even as he opened his mouth to speak. The man tried to buck away from him. His hand shot out and grabbed him. Holding him steady. Forcing him to drink the potion. He didn't have to wait long. The liquid slid into his mouth and down his throat. Weather or not he wanted to drink it. 

Severus let him go. Letting the vial fall to shatter on the floor with a resounding crash. The next moment the male arched up on the bed screaming. The cry of agony torn from his throat as he trashed against his bounds. Severus forced himself to watch. As he always did. This was all he could give them. The knowledge that he had witnessed their deaths. That they had not died alone. 

The poison was fast. The man was still screaming when his veins began to darken turning black. Like little lines running across his flesh. The black lines undulated and rose to the surface. Seeming to grow for just a moment before the scream ended as blood poured from his mouth mixed with the black ichor that now remained. The male slumped dead on the bed. Severus pushed the emotions back. Occluding his mind until nothing but a cold empty darkness remained inside him. Forcing a satisfied smirk to curve his lips and holding that mask he left the room. 

Three quick strides took him out into the hall where blood red eyes watched him. He met that gaze. Knowing that the satisfied look on his face was what the creature wanted to see. 

"I see you enjoyed that, been a long time since you used that one Severus." The Dark Lord drawled. "I forgot how fun it was to watch. Though it's far to fast. You should work on that Severus. Draw out the agony. Surely a potions master such as yourself could manage that little task? No pity. Oh well I don't want to distract you from what I truly want. Lucius is already gone. Go on and scurry after him. Don't want to draw suspicion from the muggle loving fool. Can't have you compromised then there wouldn't be any reason to keep you alive. I would miss your mind Severus, don't let that happen."

"Thank you my lord," Severus whispered bowing, "I will endeavour to please you further."

"See that you do," The Dark Lord said moving on down. No doubt to Bellatrix's room. Knowing what she did to the muggles she chose. Severus shivered involuntarily at the thought. Quickly he turned and left in a swirl of black clothing. Making his way quickly from the manor. He didn't apparate to the resort. He apparated to Hogwarts. He needed to collect himself before he could allow Lucius to see him. 

His steps quick and determined he made his way down to his private chambers. Slowly he closed his door and sank down to the floor. Letting the shields down so the memories washed over him. If he didn't he'd only dream about it tonight. Knowing it would be ten times worse. Even though it would still make an appearance in his nightmares. This was preferable. He let the tears come. The hatred and revulsion. He needed to tell the Headmaster of the night as well. He wouldn't be able to do that until he could control himself. 

Feeling sick and drained Severus rose. Went to the bathroom. Showered and dressed quickly. Composing himself into the same blank expressionless mask he left his rooms and went to the Headmasters office. He could have flooed. That would have been faster, but the walk through the castle further allowed him to compose himself. Ready for what was to come he arrived at the gargoyle. 

"Cockroach Cluster," Severus called and the gargoyle leapt out of the way. Severus mounted the staircase and soon was standing at the door. He knocked quickly.


	27. Layers

"Enter," came the headmaster's voice through the door. Severus took a deep breath to still his suddenly racing heart. Severus pushed the door open and entered the office. Letting the door close behind him. His eyes meeting the ocean blue of Dumbledores's gaze. He took a seat across from the Headmaster's chair. Never letting his gaze wander away.

"What has happened Severus?" Albus's soft voice asked. Even though he was cold and aloof there was something hidden. Something he was trying to hide. 

"I was summoned," Severus spoke softly. His tone neutral and devoid of all emotion. "A Death Eater Party to be exact. However, the Dark Lord has come by the information that Mr. Potter is residing with the Malfoys. I was able to persuade him that obtaining the boy from them directly at this time wouldn't be wise. He is still trying to remain unnoticed. He has given Lucius an ultimatum. Make Potter willingly come to him when he is of age. Receive the Dark Mark and become a Death Eater. Or he will kill all of Lucius's family."

"That, my boy, is good news. We will have time to prepare long before that time comes. Do not fear I will insure that the Malfoys are protected. Should the need arise I will take on the responsibility myself of their protection." Albus spoke softly. Severus didn't respond. Or move at all. "There is something bothering you Severus. What is it?"

"I was forced to participate," Severus replied simply. 

"Severus, I've told you before. What you are forced to do is not your fault," Albus said gently. Severus had heard his arguments before. He just didn't believe it. He didn't believe it at all. Blood stained his hands as surely as if he'd chosen to do it himself. He'd had no choice. It was kill for the Dark Lord or be killed by the Dark Lord. That didn't make him any less of a monster. A murderer.

"I do what I must Headmaster. I will continue to do what is necessary to insure victory. Until then I will bear the cost," Severus said with a deep sigh. His eyes closing for a brief second before he met the Headmaster's troubled gaze. 

"I know, my dear boy," Albus said wearily. "Go and enjoy your break. I am sure Lucius is worried about you. We will discuss this more after the holidays." Albus's words were heavy. He looked older in that moment then he had ever done before. The years were weighing heavy on him. Severus could tell. He'd meant what he said. He'd do what he had to to pay his debts and earn redemption. Even if it destroyed him more. Rising he bid Albus goodbey and headed out. Walking to the apparation point.

* * *

Severus sighed wearily as he walked the last few feet into their estate. He was exhausted and night had just fallen. His eyes were half closed. He'd just entered the kitchen when he heard footsteps coming from the hall. He set the kettle on the burner and turned to face Lucius who'd just entered. 

"I am glad to see you Sev," Lucius said sighing softly. "I had feared you would not return."

"I am glad you are well Lucius," Severus responded gently. "I had to see the Headmaster briefly. Are you well?"

"Yes, I am quite well," Lucius responded. Though his eyes were haunted. 

"Luc, the Headmaster has assured me that he will not let any harm come to your family. You don't have to worry," Severus reassured. 

"Thank you," Lucius settled down at the table. His eyes closed as he leaned his head into his hand. "Narcissa refuses to allow either boy to be taken before the Dark Lord. Sev, she's going to leave me and take them both with her if I cannot guarantee that both her children will be safe."

"Luc, listen to me. Albus will keep you all safe. I'll talk to Narcissa Luc, I will. You'll see it'll work out," Severus said gently setting a cup of tea in front of his friend. 

"I can't let Draco face this every day of his life Sev. Narcissa is right," Lucius finally said after a long moments of silence. Severus settled down in his seat with his own cup. The silence kept growing as they drank. 

"We won't let Draco take the mark Lucius, we won't," Severus said stubbornly. For the next few minutes both men sat in silence. Drinking their tea. Enjoying a comfortable silence. Both men lost in their thoughts. 

"The boys are upstairs, Draco is in Harry's room. For now it seems the two were playing a game of exploding snap," Narcissa said as she walked into the room. A heavy sigh escaping her lips. "I think things will be quiet for a little bit," she went on and then looked up at Severus. "Sev, it's good that your'e back. We were worried."

"Is everything alright with the children Narcissa?" Severus asked concerned. 

"Draco had a bit of a fright is all Sev, it's nothing," Narcissa replied wearily. 

"He heard us arguing," Lucius elaborated.

"I forgot to shield the room from entry," Narcissa began softly. She sighed and continued, "Draco came in to ask a question not realizing that we were talking. He overheard me threatening to leave Lucius and panicked. I didn't even realize he'd been in the room until the door slammed shut behind him."

"Is he alright?" Severus asked concerned.

"As much as he can be. I had to explain why I was threatening to leave his father. He's scared. We are all scared Sev," Narcissa explained wearily. 

"You don't have to leave Cissa. Albus promised to insure your safety. All of you," Severus explained to her softly. 

"How?" Narcissa asked him. 

"To start he has asked a few friends to install further wards around your Manor if you will allow it. He himself would like to add a few of his own as well. Again if you'll allow it," Severus explained.

"Yes of course we'll allow it," Narcissa said before Lucius could say anything. 

"Then it's settled, do not worry yourselves further. Maybe you should go talk to Draco and Harry Lucius," Severus suggested. 

"Yes I think that would be wise," Narcissa added giving Lucius a meaningful look. Lucius nodded, rose and walked out of the room. Severus sighed heavily and leaned back in his seat. His eyes met Narcissa's gaze. 

"You've really taken to thinking of Harry as yours?" Severus inquired.

"Yes, he grows on you really quickly Sev. He's so well behaved, it's impossible to believe. Polite and so shy. He hardly asks for anything. He was even excited when I offered to begin teaching him pureblood etiquette and decorum. What eleven year old child is excited by lessons in etiquette?" Narcissa asked the last at Severus looking rather confused. 

"One who had never known a parents love," Severus answered honestly. "He craves your attention Cissa. Even if it's the most boring exercise in the world. Being around someone who treats him right and cares for him is like a treat to the child. He wants your approval."

"I remember another boy who wanted my approval at one time too," Narcissa said with a wicked smile. 

"And that boy was excited about learning etiquette from you too," Severus said laughing lightly. 

"Yes, well he was hopeless at it," Narcissa teased. 

"Oh I wasn't that bad. I just had more interesting things on my mind," Severus said with a fond smile. 

"I can't remember that. Was it by chance potions?" Narcissa said raising a delicate brow.

"Of course," Severus responded. Knowing she was trying to bate him, but enjoying it none the less. Their conversation continued on into light bantering until Lucius rejoined them. Shortly after that they had headed up to bed for the night.

* * *

The next day was a peaceful one. It had started off with a family breakfast. Then to the delight of the children everyone went to the ski hills. Severus refusing to strap on ski's was perfectly happy to take the trails down. Exploring the winter forest trails. It actually proved a great way to gather a lot of potion ingredients. After a couple hours of exploring the trails Severus had pockets full of various wild ingredients and was walking back towards the meeting point. 

Lunch would be next and then they would go to the skating rink. Severus had just arrived when Lucius and Narcissa led the kids over to him. The boys were grinning brightly and red cheeked. Both looking extremely pleased with themselves. Lucius was still laughing about something. Narcissa shook her head and mumbled something he figured was 'boys'. 

"Sev, tell me you didn't fill your pockets with potion ingredients while hiking?" Narcissa asked catching sight of him still holding a branch with some berries on it. 

"Of course I did," Severus said looking back at the branch. Wondering if he should settle down somewhere to pick the berries, and put them in one of the jars he had in his pockets, or just keep carrying it. 

"Merlin Sev!" Narcissa sighed exasperated. 

"Could you dispense with the branch before we go for lunch?" Lucius said once he'd gotten his laughter under control. 

"I was considering it, but I would need to sit a moment to do so," Severus explained. 

"Alright then come on, there's a small park just over there. You kids can go enjoy the structures for a few minutes while Severus finishes up with his harvesting." Lucius told the boys and they ran off without another word. Narcissa, Lucius and Severus followed at a slower pace. Settling down on a bench within sight of the boys. Severus pulled out the jar and set it between his legs, as he set to work removing the berries delicately.

"Do you ever get bored of thinking about potions?" Lucius asked curiously. 

"Should I?" Severus asked completely confused at the question. 

"I suppose there is a reason you took a potion mastery after all," Lucius commented dryly. 

"Evidently," Severus responded. He fell into silence as he continued to work. Finished he tossed the branch away, set the stopper into the jar, and tucked it away. Leaning back he looked up to see Harry and Draco climbing like monkeys over some very complicated structures. They stayed there for a few more moments before Narcissa called out. 

"Boys, it's time to go. We need to get cleaned up before lunch. Hurry now," Narcissa said. Casting Severus a look that said, he was the one who needed to get cleaned up. He looked at his stained hands. Nothing new there. Though his pockets were rather full from all his gathering. Maybe she had a point.

* * *

The remainder of the day passed by quickly. Lunch was a quiet affair in a small restaurant near the skating rink. Skating itself was fun and everyone enjoyed themselves. Severus went on the ice with them. Which had surprised Narcissa slightly. Though he had done it before he didn't want to discuss that time so he had marly stated he was interested in trying. He was about as bad at skating as he remembered. Draco was teaching Harry and surprisingly Harry was picking it up quickly. That didn't surprise Severus in the least. Where he was as un-athletic as they came Harry was athletic. 

Soon enough they were back in their rooms and getting ready for bed. It would be another two days spent at the resort before they headed back to Malfoy Manor, for the new year celebrations and some quiet time. 

The remainder of their holidays passed quickly and without incident. It was clear to Severus that Harry fit in with the Malfoy family. They had not had a chance to talk about it yet, but Severus felt certain he would choose to return to them for the summer. Their last days saw a little of everything. For the very last day the boys had chosen to come explore the castle and caves with Severus. That gave Lucius and Narcissa some time alone. 

The castle was fairly fun. The boys didn't find much interest in reading the panels, but they did find great entertainment in the interactive activities. Something that allowed Severus to read the panels while still keeping an eye on them. They all left the castle with a small bag of souvenirs. Harry and Draco had gotten some games and candies. The candies they were currently eating, while Severus carried the games in his pocket, to give them later when they got back to their rooms. He had picked up a few interesting books for himself while there. 

The caves were a lot of fun, but he soon learned that Harry was terrified of the dark. After that he'd charmed a little dragon necklace so it would emit light. The necklace was something Harry had found at the castle and Severus had bought for him. With the constant light source Harry and Draco had run around the caves getting into all kinds of mischief. Though Severus didn't mind. He was more interested in the rock formations then worrying about boys climbing rock walls. Though he did keep a close eye on them. 

By the time they had made it back to the estate it had been quite late. Both boys had been falling asleep on their feet. They had decided to eat a quick meal and go to bed early. They had a busy day tomorrow of packing and unpacking.


	28. A New Year Celebration

Severus spent the rest of his holidays at Malfoy Manor either reading or brewing potions with Harry and Draco from their potions kits that Lucius had gotten them. They had some interesting potions to play with now. The boys had both changed their hair a vibrant glow in the dark green. Luckily for the adults sanity it would wash out in two days time. So by the time the New Year Party was to take place only the faintest traces of green could be seen in Draco's hair. They had of course brewed other things, but none so painful to witness. Severus had also done a few batches of potions for Narcissa as she was running low on a few things. It was just simpler while he was there and looking to kill the time. Many quiet evenings playing chest or talking over brandy in the evening were spent in the den of the Malfoy residence. The boys of course spent a lot of time playing Quidditch outside. 

The day before the party was fairly quiet. No one wanting to do anything that would exhaust them for the evening's festivities. So a quiet game of chest between the boys was currently underway. While a quiet conversation between Severus and Lucius about ministry business was taking place. Narcissa had invited one of her friends over and the two witches were in hushed conversation on the other side of the room. They would all begin to get ready at one since the party would start at three and guests would begin to arrive.

At first Severus and Lucius had worried about how they would keep Harry safe. It wasn't like they could stay with him the whole time. The youngster would no doubt hang out with Draco and his friends. The other pureblood children would be here after all. In the end Lucius had suggested a protective amulet. Similar to the one Draco had. Together the two wizards had layered protective spells over the metal of the boy's dragon neckless, he seemed so found of wearing. It had proved a perfect solution. Though not completely foolproof. The two wizards couldn't be certain of the intent of the Death Eaters who would be present tonight. Though they wouldn't act openly where ministry officials invited to the festivities could see them. That didn't mean they couldn't corner the boy alone. 

Already a crowd of people was milling through the manor, along with the house elves. Setting up the outside yard. The inside ballroom. Preparing everything for tonights entertainment. Of course there would be a lot of people here tonight. As always Lucius invited everyone who was anyone in his world of dominos. The other pureblood families were always invited. Close friends who were certain to be invited though not always pureblood or in a position of power. 

Harry had requested his two mates Ron and Hermione be invited. Hermione had accepted the invitation and Severus would be retrieving her in an hours time. Ron and his whole family would be arriving by floo. Narcissa had felt it proper to invite the whole family instead of just the one child. After all it was how things were done. 

Finishing his glass of brandy Severus had lost track of the conversation. Lucius was still talking, but he had forgotten what it was the other had been saying. He was thinking about the evening and how he would be in a room full of people. Without anyone who understood his love for potions. His desire for solitude. Quiet. He didn't like the celebrations. He only really enjoyed the fireworks display that happened at midnight. 

His thoughts flittered away from the gathering and found themselves revolving around Aelea. How he wondered if she would show up tonight. She could hold a great conversation. He had enjoyed speaking with her. She knew and understood his love for potions. Surely he could mention it to Lucius. The man would invite her family. In an instant he pushed that thought away. He couldn't do that. He had obligations. A duty. A dangerous mission. Responsibilities that couldn't be entangled. Could he endanger her? Unfairly? Allowing her to be a part of his world, it would put her in peril. Mortal peril if the Dark Lord ever learned of his role. His true allegiance. No he couldn't risk that. The young woman didn't deserve such a life surely she could do better. She could befriend others of a less risky nature. He was after all better suited to solitude. 

"Master Severus sirs, Illy be bringing you your cloak sir," A house elf squeaked breaking his train of thought. He blinked, looked at the small creature holding out the black bundle of cloth. He rose. 

"I'll be off then. I must fetch Miss. Granger from her muggle residence," Severus declared as he took the cloak. 

"I'll leave your dress robes on your bed Severus," Narcissa said having seen her guest off and just been returning to the den. He gave her a light smile. 

"I was thinking I would wear the same ones I did at the Christmas Ball. They were quite to my liking," Severus stated. Narcissa smiled happily. 

"Good," She replied before giving him a brief kiss on each cheek. He returned the gesture and left. Walking briskly to the gate. Once pass the wards he apparated to an alley close by Miss Grangers home. Casting a notice me not charm in order to walk amongst the muggles unnoticed. After all he was wearing his robes and black billowing cloak. He'd make quite a sight for the muggles. 

The walk to her door was quick. A sharp knock announced his presence. He did not wait long. As soon as the door was opened he removed the charm. Watching the confused expression on the male's face before turning to one of disbelief. After all it's not every day a visitor suddenly appears randomly on your doorstep out of thin air. 

"Do come in. I presume you are Professor Snape?" The man said simply. Severus nodded. "It's a pleasure to meet you. Hermione is on her way down now. She's just finishing up some girlish thing with her mother. I'm Doctor Granger. Pleased to meet you." They shook hand briefly.

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well Mr. Granger," Severus drawled in a monotone. He tried to keep a blank mask on his face instead of the sneer that was forming at the man's babble of words. A moment later a finely dressed Miss Granger came down the stairs followed by a far too cheerful woman. 

"Professor Snape, you're here! Already! Oh my am I running late? Oh dear me. I'm sorry to keep you waiting. I'll just grab my purse and we can be off," Hermione said in a rush. Blushing at finding her professor standing in her doorway talking with her father. 

"When will you be home again love?" Mrs. Granger asked her daughter as she followed the girl into a small walk in closet off the entrance. 

"Tomorrow sometime. From Harry's letter the festivities go on until about two am. Harry's letter said that some of the others will be sleeping over as well and they will be picked up by their parents tomorrow afternoon. At least I think anyways," Hermione explained to her mother as she picked up her purse and was quickly returning. 

"Well do let us know," Mr. Granger said smiling lightly. "It was nice to meet you Professor Snape." The man shook Severus's hand and then turned to his daughter once more. "Have a great time sweatheart!" He hugged her and then her mother hugged her and more words of sentimental dribble were exchanged. Severus tuned out the words in favour of casting a spell over Hermione and himself to not be noticed as they walked to the alley where he could apparate them back to Malfoy Manor. 

Soon they were walking out in the brisk cold. Hermione had put on her Hogwarts cloak to keep warm and had to jog to keep up with his much longer stride. He instructed her to stay as close to his side as possible when they apparated as it would make the journey easier on her. He put an arm around her as she pushed herself tight against him. Stiffening at the necessary contact. He had her hold his arm tightly.

Apparating to the Manor was a quick affair. Walking through the gate up the lane was completely different then when he had left. Bright lights illuminated the walkway even in the daylight casting shapes and shadows on the ground. Light music could be heard drifting from the backyard. As soon as they entered their cloaks were taken by a house elf. Severus led the way to the den where Harry and Draco were still playing chest. Narcissa was just setting out tea and Lucius was no where in sight. No doubt in his office. 

"Hermione!" Harry called waving excitedly to her. She waved back smiling. 

"You must be Harry's friend, I'm Narcissa Malfoy," Narcissa said gently offering the girl a warm hug as greeting. "Do come and share a cup of tea." Hermione nodded and the two started to talk as they sat down. Harry had already returned to his game. 

"Is Lucius in his office Cissa?" Severus asked politely. 

"He's expecting you," Narcissa responded knowing already his true question. Nodding Severus left them and headed upstairs to the large office his friend kept. Knocking but not waiting to be answered he entered. Lucius was sitting at his desk answering a missive. Severus didn't bother saying a word he just walked over and sat in the large and comfortable chair near the desk. 

Severus didn't know why Lucius would be expecting him in his office, but it was bound to be important. Silently he watched the older Malfoy finish up his letter. Leaning back Lucius met the piercing black eyes of his friend. 

"The children that boy hangs out with are displeasing," Lucius said. His eyes narrowing. "The Weasleys hardly have anything decent to wear in regular day. What could they possibly wear now to such a high function as this? Narcissa will be outraged! And that girl. That girl is a mudblood!"

Severus hissed angrily at him for the term. "Do NOT use that term in my presence Lucius. I am not in a tolerant mood." His tone was dark and dangerous. 

"I forget how sensitive you are to that term," Lucius sneered. 

"Then you may wish to remember what happened the last time you insisted on using such deplorable language Lucius. As I remember accurately you were indisposed for a week proceeding the event," Severus said coldly. 

"How could I forget, your hexes are not so easily forgotten Severus," Lucius replied paling considerably at the reference to Severus's cold and silent display of displeasure. Lucius had not been expecting that vehement response. Let alone considering Severus had not spoken or moved at all. That had terrified Lucius more. He couldn't have known Severus was casting the spell. Just as he wouldn't know should Severus do it again. 

"I meant no disrespect Severus, forgive my harsh words," Lucius hastened to add. Clearly not wishing to revisit that particular display of outrage. Severus nodded. Lucius continued, "I marly meant to express that to the other purebloods who will be present here, she will be seen as thus. You understand surely? The boys is halfblood he can be accepted by our circles, the girl will not be." 

"Do not discount Miss Granger purely on her blood status. The witch is irritatingly annoying at the best of times. Though she is brilliant. She has after all done better in every class then all the other children. Including might I add Draco. I do not care for the girl, but you have already given your blessing for her to be here. To send her away now would cause a rift between yourself and Harry. The child will not understand why you are doing this. Think logically Lucius, you may not like them. In fact you may hate them, but think of what it will do to your reputation. Graciously inviting the Weasleys to such a high society event? The ministry officials will think it very generous of you." Severus's words were aloof and emotionless. Just cold logic. Though he did wonder what Lucius would say if he knew that Narcissa had sent them a gift of new dress robes for Christmas. Along with their invitation. For that matter he was curious what Molly would say. He would have enjoyed seeing her face. 

"Severus, please I do not need generosity associated to my name!" Lucius said insulted. 

"You clearly misunderstand me Lucius, I do not care what the ministry thinks of you. It is more important what Dumbledore thinks of you. Remember that it is he who you must convince of your intentions," Severus reminded him coldly. This game of Lucius's was infuriating to the other man who couldn't care less. None of this mattered to him. Money never had. Status never had. It was power, freedom, independence. He didn't care about the high society crap Lucius was so worried about. It was trivial. Maybe many things had changed since his youth. Since it had become abundantly clear to Severus that blood purity wasn't the answer to power. 

"You make a fair point," Lucius conceded with a sigh. "I need allies in their camp. This might well be a good way to get them. Do you think the boy will choose to live here Severus?"

"I think he already has Lucius," Severus replied. "Now if we are quite down with this conversation I would like to go shower and get ready. No doubt Narcissa will wish to insure I am adequately attired before the guests arrive." Severus smirked at his own cold words. It was the running joke. Even though he was on paper Lord Prince. He didn't act like it most of the time. He had no desire to. Aryanna Prince, his grandmother, had forced the titles and responsibility on his shoulders. He had not wanted them. As her only living male relative, even from a disowned mother, he had been the only one who could take up the mantle. If he didn't the line would end and the holdings would go to the ministry. Something Aryanna couldn't allow. Between her and Tobias his life had been made hell growing up. He hated them both.

* * *

Several hours later Severus stood in the floo room with a glass of chilled wine in a crystal stemmed glass. Sipping it occasionally as he listened to Lucius talk about some inane topic. He wasn't really paying attention. He was of course keeping an eye on the floo. The majority of the guests would soon be arriving through the fireplace and that was the real reason they were all there. Draco and Harry were once again engaged in a game of wizards chest. To everyone's great surprise, well not his anyways, Hermione had discovered a book in the library she was currently reading. Narcissa was standing with Lucius and Severus. Engaging her husband in that inane conversation Severus fanned interest in. 

Soon the shrill call of the floo indicated someone requested access. Narcissa went over and checked who her guests were before allowing them to step through. Lucius gave a sharp look to Draco who quickly put away the chest game and came to stand beside his father. Harry fallowed his lead and both boys stood side by side next to Lucius. Severus hung back where he had been by the bookcase. 

He watched as the Weasleys stepped through. First Molly with her youngest Ginny. Then Ron, followed by Fred and George. Then Percy, Charlie and Bill, finally followed by Arthur. It seemed the two oldest had come back home for the holidays. Severus Noted. To Lucius's shock they wore new dress robes that looked rather fitting on the family. Molly and Narcissa were quickly engaged in conversation while the children drifted away. Arthur awkwardly stood next to his wife looking at Lucius without really knowing what to say. Severus wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all. 

Saved from the awkward moment by the next ring of the floo. Narcissa ushered her guests deeper into the room as more guests arrived. Severus watched the shifting atmosphere of the room as others soon filled the chamber. Soon Narcissa was ushering the children outside with the promise to send the others after them. While adults slowly milled about the room. Drifting into conversation here and there. 

Severus watched with an almost bored air on the edges of the room. Not interested in conversation. Though fascinated by the way so many of the exchanges were fake. The lack of actual conversation making itself known. He would have rather been reading. That is until Aelea stepped through the floo with her mother. A genuine smile lighting her face as she saw him. Slightly startled and uncertain he waited for her to come over to him. Her elegant black gown trimmed in deep blood red making her look like a stunning spectre of night. 

"Severus, it is a pleasure to meet you again. I had feared I would be doomed to languish in boredom all evening!" Aelea said by way of greeting the moment she saw him. She had already taken a glass of chilled wine from one of the house elves who were underfoot. Mostly looking like large trays floating around at waist height. 

"Aelea, pleasure to see you as well," Severus said politely. "Have you had further luck on your search?"

"I fear not, though I have been quite busy at the apothecary these last few days. Surely you must know, that during the days following Christmas to the day before new year, is one of the busiest time for business?" Aelea said with genuine interest. 

"I had not no. I avoid stores if I can at all help it," Severus replied. A statement he thought was quite obvious. 

"How do you acquire your ingredients?" Aelea asked in genuine interest. 

"Those I cannot cultivate myself I order through owl post. If I must get something in a hurry I will go down to the Apothecary in Hogsmeade," Severus replied crisply. 

"I should have figured, you don't seem like the type to rely on anyone else's potion ingredients unless you must. I presume you are also well versed in Herbology then?" Aelea inquired.

"It is a necessity for those who are serious of becoming potions masters," Severus replied with an air of disdain at the question.

"That is true, come let us retired to a more quiet location and we can further our discussion," Aelea said with a genuine smile. 

Together they walked towards the library engaging in light conversation over her shop. She was quick to inform him that she had a fully functional greenhouse. Hardly imported anything besides that which didn't grow or couldn't be harvested here. Local merchants were always chosen for the harder to obtain items. She preferred to acquire a full specimen and dissect it herself. They soon discovered they were more alike then previously thought. At least when it came to potions. 

Sequestered in the library discussing everything from potions to ingredients to storage methods, neither noticed the passage of time. Until a house elf announced that it was time for dinner. They had spent long uninterrupted hours in conversation. Something Severus had found quite pleasant. Rising from the seats they had been occupying before being interrupted. Severus led her to the dining room. Allowing her to hold his arm as was proper for a lady. He did not enjoy the physical contact. As he does not enjoy any form of contact. Though he did not mind her as much as he thought he would. Selecting his seat next to Lucius he led Aelea to sit next to him. 

Dinner was served as soon as everyone had taken their seats. Severus took a little of everything onto his plate. He began eating in silence. He isn't one to talk as Aelea had noticed. Allowing her to set the conversation and replying when necessary. 

"Still being unsocial Severus?" Lucius asked after a little while. 

"No," Aelea replied before he could, "he's been quite social actually. We simply wished to be undisturbed by lesser minds while we conversed." 

"Lea that is impolite!" A stern woman chastised her daughter from a little ways down the table. 

"It's quite alright Camila, Severus is much the same way. I take no offence," Lucius said waving away her concern. Lucius did not want to discourage Severus from spending time with Aelea. He had after all invited her here specifically to make sure Severus got closer to her. It was one of the schemes he was most pleased with. He'd been trying to set up Severus with a female for a long time. To finally find one who was similar to him. Lucius wouldn't allow her to be distracted. Oh no. He was determined to insure that he succeeded in his scheme. After all Narcissa was working with him on this front. 

The flow of conversation resumed and dinner was a slightly noisy affair. The children were in their own dinning room off the main one. It was smaller, and gave the adults a chance to speak of things without the children around. Soon the meal was over and groups filtered back out into the various rooms of the manor. Some to the drawing room for quiet conversation. Some to the ballroom for music and dancing and some outside to enjoy the activities. 

Severus and Aelea went out into the gardens to continue their earlier discussion. The sights were truly amazing out there. The frozen ground just on the very edges of the flourishing gardens covered in a thick layer of snow. The charms keeping the temperature in the gardens themselves quite pleasant. There was no snow on the clean stones that made a walkway through the manicured expanse of the gardens. 

Midnight found Severus seated on a bench with one arm resting on the cold metal surface Aelea sitting near enough to touch by his side. Leaning back against his arm. He wasn't sure what to make of this situation. A part of him was interested another faintly frightened by the prospect. They sat like that in comfortable silence watching the fireworks light up the sky. 

Too soon the evening was over and groups of people began to leave. Severus felt a pang of regret at seeing Aelea leave. Though he wasn't sure why. It wasn't like anything could come of this. He didn't even know what this was. Silently watching her leave left him in confusion. Retiring as soon as the last guest had left found Severus lying on his bed. Thinking about what Aelea meant to him and why he felt so oddly for her. It wasn't love. He knew that powerful emotion as it stirred his heart every time he thought of Lily. Though could it become that was a mystery he wasn't sure he felt comfortable analysing. Did he dare allow his heart to move on? Could he bear that? Would it be a betrayal of his love for Lily? He didn't know and that uncertainty worried him. He didn't want to get invested in someone who would reject him again.


	29. Remember Me

Severus was standing beside Lucius and Narcissa on the platform having just waived good-bey to the boys. Now they watched as the train began it's journey to Hogwarts. Severus wondered yet again how the meeting tonight would go. He had received the message from Dumbledore that he was to show up at Headquarters tonight after dinner. He had been worried for the last week and Lucius was beginning to notice. The thing that bothered Severus most, was that he could remember what had happened last time. How he had left the meeting. The argument that had befallen. Severus hates all weakness in himself, and now one was exposed. A single moment of emotional weakness had exposed a flaw in his armour. He was unhappy. 

"Severus, are you feeling well?" Narcissa inquired. Severus blinked slowly and turned to face her. 

"I'm fine Cissa," Severus replied. 

"You've been oddly silent these last few days Severus," Lucius commented. Going on softly as he drew nearer to Severus. "You haven't been paying attention and that really isn't like you Sev."

"Forgive me old friend. I was distracted by my thoughts," Severus responded. "What is it you were saying?"

"I asked if you would be joining us for the start of summer holidays?" Lucius inquired. 

"I will have to see. I am not certain what my plans are as of yet," Severus responded. "I must be off Lucius, Narcissa. I shall write of course. Do take care."

"It was a pleasure to have you with us for Christmas Severus," Narcissa said.

"It was indeed Cissa," Severus responded before going to the row of fireplaces and flooing back to Hogwarts. Sighing in relief at being back in his quarters Severus made himself a cup of tea. Settling down in his armchair with the warm beverage, Severus pulled out a book and slowly began reading. A knock on his door a few moments later made him look up. To see the door to his quarters swinging open to admit the only person who could walk in so boldly, Albus Dumbledore. 

"Headmaster," Severus said in greeting. 

"Ah Severus I see you've arrived. Excellent," Albus said cheerfully walking over and taking a seat. 

"Tea Headmaster?" Severus inquired. 

"I would like that, my boy," Albus replied. Severus called a house elf and ordered a pot of tea. Once the pot was delivered and Severus had poured a cup for Albus the elder male began to talk. "I will be quick Severus, my boy, as I have much to be doing before tonight. Now I need your help with something. See we need increase the security for the stone. I have chosen a few professors in order to guard the stone along with myself. I would like you to be one of the professors who guard the stone Severus."

"What exactly did you have in mind?" Severus inquired.

"A test of potions," Albus said finishing his tea and rising. 

"Yes of course, I think I can manage something," Severus replied. Albus smiled and took his leave after quick good-byes. After closing his door behind Albus and locking it, Severus sat down looking off into the small fire flickering in the fireplace. His mind spinning around with ideas for a potions test. There were many things he could design that would satisfy. However, maybe a test of logic would do best. Rising he grabbed a piece of parchment, some ink and a quill. Settling down at his kitchen table he started penning out some notes. 

For hours he worked on what he would make. A wicked smile curved his lips. He had a list of every potion he could brew for this little test along with how he would do it. Simple and elegant. He was pleased. It was after all something of an exercise in thinking. Quite cunning if he did say so himself. Now it was late afternoon and the students would be arriving soon. A feast would be taking place at dinner time in an hours time. He would need to get ready and be up at the Entrance Hall to insure that his Snakes were behaving. Sighing he ignored the fact that after the feast he'd be heading to an order meeting. Tidying up his things. Insuring they were back where they belonged. There was nothing more irritating then having his space unorganized. He loathed disorder. Now ready he walked out into his office to work on a bit of grading for the next hour before he was needed up in the school.

* * *

Harry was sitting in his compartment on the train on one side of him Rom was sitting and on the other Draco. Across from them Hermione and Luna were sitting talking about some girly thing while Theodore and Blaise were talking with Draco. Crabe and Goyle were no where in site and Harry was glad of that. He didn't like the two thick headed goons who trailed after Draco. Draco didn't like them either Harry had learned quickly, but they offered him protection so he put up with them. Ron was refusing to talk to anyone staring out the window and sulking. It annoyed Harry greatly, but he didn't care. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. He was thinking about how to write the letter he wanted to send to Snape. 

He'd been scared at first in class when the man was sarcastic and bitting in his comment. He was always so cold and harsh. It had made him think that Snape hadn't liked him at all. That what he'd seen from the man, when he had come to rescue him from Uncle Vernon and take him to Kings Cross, had been a lie. That his promise that he'd never go back was just that. Words. Then he'd taken a chance on the man and even though he seemed unreachable, he had gone to ask for study sessions. That first study session had thrown him for a loop. The man had been almost kind to him. That's when Harry figured it out. Snape didn't hate anyone, he was just a really strict teacher. Snape took his subject so seriously he was sometimes harsh in his efforts to make them take Potions seriously. 

This seemingly yo-yo affect of the man's moods from almost nice to almost cruel from his study sessions to his classes had Harry feeling uncertain. He didn't know where he stood with the man. At times he was certain Snape liked him. At others he wondered if Snape hated him. Then there was the whole thing about Snape's friends the Malfoys adopting him. That scared Harry, who didn't know what to make of Draco. Draco swung from being his friend to being down right cruel to everyone around him. It was scary. They were so often at odds.

Everything had come slamming into reality for him on that day when Ron had grabbed him. He could still feel the bruise that didn't exist. Draco had saved him. Draco and Theo. He could still remember the feeling of being held in Snape's arms as he carried him down to his rooms. Of being allowed to sleep peacefully without fear. He had felt so safe. It had been a first and then to have an adult care for his bruises. He knew without a doubt that Snape liked him. Otherwise the man wouldn't have cared enough to help. 

Christmas at the resort had proven that the Malfoy family also liked him. Harry felt accepted for the first time. He had felt normal. He had felt loved and he didn't want to loose it. When Snape had asked him to think about if he wanted the Malfoys to be his guardians he had said yes right away. Though Snape had told him that he wanted him to think about it anyways. Harry knew his answer wouldn't change and he was determined to explain it all to Snape in a letter. Draco had explained to Harry why his father and Snape had had to leave that night. Why he'd been so upset when his mother had argued with his father. He could barely understand it himself. Draco had expressed his fears to Harry and Harry had promised never to tell anyone. The truth was he was afraid of loosing his new found family too. He didn't want Lucius and Uncle Severus to ever leave. He'd stayed up that night with Draco until Lucius had come into the room and talked with them. Harry was still really confused by what Lucius had said. He didn't understand how he could feel safe with them. Yet he did. He felt safer with them, known death eaters, then he did at Hogwarts. No that wasn't right. They were not death eaters. Not anymore. He didn't know what they were, but they were not ever going to take him to Voldemort and for that Harry was really happy. Somehow though he'd always known that. Even before Lucius promised. 

So here he was sitting next to a sulking Ron surrounded by his friends, old and new, and his family. He had a brother. That was why he wouldn't allow Ron to lead him away from Draco when they got on the train. He told Ron that if he couldn't accept Draco as his brother then he could just leave. Ron had stayed. Unhappily, but he'd stayed. Harry hoped that the two would eventually come to an agreement, but if they didn't he just hoped they didn't try and hex each other. 

"Are you ok Harry?" Hermione asked. Harry started and looked at her. Just now realizing the compartment had fallen silent and everyone was looking at him.

"Yah I'm fine," Harry said hurriedly. 

"You don't look fine Harry," Luna said staring openly at him. "Wrackspurts must be making your brain fuzzy."

"Um. I don't think so, I was just thinking is all," Harry said hurriedly not bothering to ask was a Wrackspurt was. 

"Anyways, I asked how your holiday was," Hermione said.

"Oh. It was great!" Harry smiled enthusiastically. Draco was looking at him with a slight worried expression. Harry met his gaze and gave him a reassuring smile and the other boy went back to his conversation. 

"I bet it was," Ron said sarcastically, "what did you do spend the whole holiday locked in the dungeons?"

"For your information Weasley, we were at Camelot, surely even _your_ family has heard of it?" Draco said snidely. 

"No way, the greasy bat of..." Ron started but never got to finish his sentence before both Harry and Draco barked angrily at him. 

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY ANOTHER WORD!" Harry and Draco yelled at the same time.

"RON!" Hermione shouted warningly. 

"Uncle Severus isn't greasy Ron," Harry started in the silence. 

"I'll hex you next time you say anything about Professor Snape," Theodore warned darkly. 

"You don't know him at all. If you did you wouldn't be calling him names," Harry continued beyond annoyed at his friend. 

"I still can't believe you chose to go with -him- instead of with me," Ron said darkly turning away from them to face the window. He was angry and he didn't want to be hexed by the Slytherins who were eyeing him. 

"I didn't choose him over you Ron, what is wrong with you? Can't you understand anything?" Harry shouted. Getting up, furious of Ron's jealousy. He glared at Ron who met his eyes but flinched away. 

"He doesn't care about you! He only cares about his Snakes. He only took you because Dumbledore made him!" Ron said in a raised voice. 

Harry spoke the next words in a hiss, "their my family Ron and if you can't get over it then just leave me alone!"

Without another word Harry ran out of the compartment. Harry didn't know why he'd run out of the compartment or why he didn't stop and turn back. Their compartment hadn't been far from where the luggage was kept. How Harry ended up getting into that part of the train he didn't know. He only remembered finding the dark compartment and sliding into it. Seeing all the stacked trunks and cages and finding a small spot to slide himself into. Near the door. Where he could cry alone. He didn't know why he was crying. He was so angry. He was so tired. He was so many things he couldn't place them all. 

He heard the door open, but he didn't care. He knew he could get in trouble, but he didn't care about that either. He just wanted to be alone. Someone knelt down in front of him. He could see their black school robes from where his head was resting on his knees. 

"Harry," Theodore said softly, catching his attention. Or trying to. Harry didn't respond. "Draco's worried about you. He wanted to come find you. I thought maybe right now you needed someone who wasn't emotionally involved to talk to. Do you want to talk about it Harry?"

"No," Harry said. He really didn't want to talk to anyone. Well he wanted to talk to one person, but he wasn't here. That seemed odd to Harry that the one person he wanted to talk to was someone he'd only just gotten to know. How had he come to trust him so fast? He knew the answer to that. Snape had taken care of him. He'd shown him kindness. Something Harry had never really known before him. Two weeks with the man had shown him that he could have a family. A part of him wondered if maybe Ron was right and Dumbledore had forced Snape and Malfoy to take him. He wanted, no he needed, to hear it from Snape himself that it wasn't because of Dumbledore that he'd been invited to Christmas. 

"Well then what do you want to talk about?" Theodore asked settling down and leaning back against the wall. Still in front of Harry. 

"I don't want to talk about anything," Harry mumbled, "I just want to see Uncle Severus."

"He'll be at school. I'm sure you can talk to him after the feast," Theodore said. 

"I'm not going to the feast," Harry replied. He didn't want to be anywhere near Ron right now. 

"Okay then I'm getting him first and you can talk to him before the feast then!" Theodore replied. There was no way he would allow Harry to skip the feast. Theodore might only be twelve years old now, but he knew that would only worry his head of house. He was far too observant not to notice how much Snape kept an eye on Harry and Draco around the school. Sure he kept an eye on all the Slytherins, but those two were specifically always being watched subtly by the man. 

Harry nodded. Silence fell between them, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was an enjoyable silence. Harry slowly fell asleep and in no time was being shaken awake by Theodore telling him they were already there. He blinked awake and yawned. He followed Theodore out of the train and onto the platform. Ignoring everyone around him. He saw Draco coming towards them and noticed Hermione grabbing Ron and dragging him away after sending a sad look towards Harry. Blaise had walked off into the crowd. Harry looked away not wanting to talk to Draco.

"Harry, are you ok?" Draco asked as soon as he got close. 

"I'm fine," Harry mumbled.

"What's the matter?" Draco pressed not buying that for a moment. 

"I don't want to talk about it," Harry said. "Go on up to the school. I just want to have a word with Uncle Severus ok?" Harry admitted. He couldn't bring himself to be short with Draco. The boy was being so nice with him. Like Theodore, Draco watched over him at school. He liked both boys and he didn't want to loose their friendship just because he was emotional. 

"Theo you coming?" Draco asked after a long pause. 

"I'll just take Harry to Professor Snape and then I'll meet you at the table," Theodore replied giving Draco a gentle shove towards the crowd. Draco nodded with a knowing look in his eyes before leaving. Harry and Theodore caught a carriage to the school and were lucky enough to be alone.

When they arrived at the school Harry was heading for the large doors leading to the entrance hall. Theodore however grabbed his arm gently and started leading him through a smaller door to the side. Confused Harry looked questioningly at him. 

"I didn't think you wanted the other's to start asking question, so I'm taking you straight to his office. Then I can go upstairs and get him. He'll be in the entrance hall watching the Slytherins going into the feast," Theodore explained. 

Harry didn't comment, but he walked quicker as they neared the dungeons. Glad to have been walking through the deserted corridors and not meeting other students. He wasn't in the mood to talk with anyone. The door to Snape's office proved to be locked and warded. Harry got a sting on his hands trying the door before Theodore could warn him not to touch it. Theodore left him standing outside the office door.

* * *

Severus had made his way up to the Entrance Hall where he stood with the other Heads of House watching the students stream into the Great Hall for the feast. As always the hubbub and chatter was enough to annoy him. However, it wasn't until Draco came running straight to him as soon as he walked into the Entrance Hall that Severus knew something was wrong. 

Severus had to raise a hand to stop his Godson's constant stream of words, as he couldn't understand a single word the boy was saying he was speaking way to fast. Sighing he led the lad away from the other teachers into a quieter section of the Entrance Hall by the stairs leading down to the dungeons. 

"Now, calmly tell me what happened?" Severus asked in a calm voice. 

"Weasley hurt Harry again, and now he won't talk to me. Theo said he'd be coming t the feast, but they didn't come in through the doors. They went in the secret door that leads to the dungeons," Draco explained slower. This time making sense. 

"I see, thank you Draco, I'll take care of it. Go to the feast," Severus said adding the last before the boy could start talking again. Draco nodded and reluctantly walked back. Severus had questions, but he wanted to hear the story from Harry. He walked briskly back towards Minerva. Taping her lightly on the shoulder for a word. She had been talking with Pomona in hushed tones. 

"Sorry to interrupt Minerva. I need a quick word on an urgent matter," Severus said politely. Cutting off her next sentence. He did not want to leave Harry to wander the dungeons on his own when he knew he'd warded and locked his office. No doubt where the boy had been intending to go. 

"No matter Severus, what is it?" Minerva asked not bothering to say whatever it was she had started to. Knowing Severus wouldn't interrupt her in such a manner if it were not important. 

"I suggest you have a word with Ronald Weasley, it appears there was an altercation between him and Potter on the train," Severus stated in his deadly calm voice. A scary tone of voice which spoke of the dangerous Slytherin beneath the calm.

"And were is Potter now?" Minerva asked.

"Most likely outside my office, we will speak later on this matter," Severus said and turned heading off towards the dungeons. 

"I'm his head of house Severus, I wish to speak with him right away," Minerva called out after him. 

"I will wait for a moment while you gather Weasley," Severus relented. Thought the cold tone he used said he had no patience to wait. It was at that moment that Minerva caught sight of Ron and Hermione about to enter the great hall. Minerva called him over and followed Severus down towards his office. 

They had just descended the first staircase when Theodore stopped in front of them. Severus regarded his Slytherin. Theodore took one look at Minerva and Ron tailing her and glared openly at the Gryffindor. 

"I won't allow -him- near Harry," Theodore said. Disregarding the fact that two teachers were looking at him. 

"Mr. Nott, I am quite capable of handling the situation," Severus said warningly. 

"I meant no disrespect sir, but he's done enough damage. Harry will only talk to you. That's what I was coming to tell you. He won't talk to anyone, not even me or Draco. He said he'd only talk to you," Theodore explained. Frowning Severus looked over to Minerva. She looked absolutely confused. 

"What exactly happened on the train Mr. Nott?" Severus asked. This may not be similar to the scene that had happened before the holidays as he'd first thought. 

"Weasley was insulting you. He said some nasty things to Harry when he'd defended you. Things that aren't true, but Harry won't listen to us. He'll only listen to you sir," Theodore answered. 

"What sorts of things?" Severus inquired. Now curious. 

"That you only took Harry with you on Holidays because you were forced to by the Headmaster sir," Theodore explained further. Severus glowered from his Slytherin to the Gryffindor child. His glare deepened. 

"I presume you will not mind if I have a private word with Mr. Potter Minerva?" Severus asked neutrally. His piercing gaze meeting hers.

"Not at all Severus, I have a few words for Mr. Weasley myself. I shall see you later at the feast then, come along Weasley," Minerva said walking briskly off towards her office. 

"Go up to the feast Mr. Nott," Severus instructed. This time the child didn't speak as he left. Severus turned and quickly made his way towards the door to his office. As soon as he rounded the corner however he was completely unprepared for what he saw. Harry was walking back and forth in front of his door mumbling to himself. The moment he caught sight of Severus he bolted towards the man and slammed hard into his legs. His arms closing around him in a tight hug. Lost for how to respond Severus stood frozen for a long moment. Before slowly untangling the now crying child from himself and bending down. As soon as he was at the boy's level the child dropped into his arms and held onto him so tight he could barely draw breath. Sighing he lifted the child up and walked into his office. Locking the door behind him. Leaving his wards in place. 

He sat down on his large comfortable chair behind his desk allowing the small child to sit on his lap. After all it couldn't hurt, not like anyone could see him hugging the child. It was strange to think that four months ago he'd wanted nothing to be know of how he felt for Lily. How protective he was of her child even if he found him to be too Potter like. Now. He didn't see James in Harry. He only saw Lily with James's looks. Something that still took him off guard at times. 

For long moments they sat like that. Harry curled up against Severus. Severus thinking about how different his feelings for the child had become over the course of four months. How close the two weeks of the holidays had brought them. Harry was as much his godson as Draco. 

"Is it true?" Harry asked softly. Still teary eyed. His voice sounding sniffly and far too soft. 

"Is what true Harry?" Severus asked just as softly. The same gentle tone to his voice that he used only when they were alone. 

"That you only brought me with you because Dumbledore said so?" Harry asked.

"Professor Dumbledore Harry," Severus reprimanded gently. A moment before continuing on, "no Harry it's not true. Yes I went to pick you up from your Aunts place in the summer because Professor Dumbledore asked me to. Though I brought you with me at Christmas because I wanted to. It was the perfect opportunity for you to spend time with the Malfoys before the summer. I had planned to ask you to accompany me for the holidays even if we had not been going with the Malfoys."

"So you wanted me to come?" Harry asked as if scared the answer would be no.

"Yes," Severus answered wondering why the boy needed him to repeat that. He'd forgotten how much Harry needed reassure that he was wanted. He'd noticed that in his tutoring sessions with Harry that the boy needed reassurance often. He was very uncertain of himself. Something Severus didn't like. Another thing the Dursleys would need to pay for. 

"Why is Ron jealous that I've got a family now?" Harry asked after a long moment of silence. 

"I don't honestly know Harry," Severus replied. It was true he didn't know. "Though I don't think it's so much jealousy as the fact I am not the most liked teacher in school Harry. Most of the students call me the greasy bat of the dungeon for a reason. Your friend probably thinks like many other people in the wizarding world. After all I am a Slytherin."

"You just scare the students. If they knew you like I do, like this, they wouldn't dislike you," Harry said. 

"Harry I don't expect you to understand, but I can't be like this with the others. When you're older I'll explain it to you. Just remember you are special to me. That's why you know me like this," Severus said. Trying to explain without telling the child of his double agent role. He knew Dumbledore wanted Harry to know, but he wasn't ready to break the child's innocence. No that would wait. For now there was no reason for Harry to know about him. Or about him being a Death Eater. The summer holidays would come soon enough and he'd have to start teaching Harry defence. Much as he did with Draco. 

Severus had started last year teaching Draco defence theory. This year he would teach both boys a more practical defence class throughout the summer. Now that they both had wands. It wasn't like they were likely to learn anything useful from DADA at school. That class had been a joke even in his days as a student. What with the teacher rotating out every year. He sighed. 

"Are you feeling better now?" Severus asked after a long pause in which Harry had seemed to relax more in his arms. 

"Yes, do I have to go up to the feast?" Harry asked.

"Yes," Severus responded. Harry nodded and reluctantly climbed down from Severus's lap. They headed up towards the feast side by side. Though Harry was left at the doors to the great hall and Severus entered without hesitation. Harry stood there looking at the closed door behind Severus.

* * *

After the feast Severus returned to his quarters. Sitting down with a glass of firewhiskey. He slowly worked towards occluding his mind until nothing remained but an empty aloofness. He drank his glass slowly as he worked at closing his mind off. Completely insuring nothing was present in his thoughts that could show any kind of weakness. Ready and assured that nothing what so ever would show on his face Severus flooed to his home at Spinners End. Gathering up a series of books he desired to take with him back to Hogwarts. He shrunk them and placed them in a pocket. From there he walked down the street to an empty alley and apparated to the outskirts of Dumbledore's home. Quickly walking up to the door which opened as soon as he drew near. The house elf took his cloak and ushered him into the den. 

"Ah Severus, my dear boy, so glad you could make it," Albus said rising to greet him. Severus nodded and took his seat. There was only a few people here. Remus was sitting with Alastor talking. Albus had gone out to the kitchen with Molly. 

"Snape," Remus said catching sight of him. Rising and walking away from Alastor. "Mind if I have a word with you?"

"If you must," Severus said darkly glaring at Remus. Clearly not wanting to 'have a word' with Remus.

"I am sorry Snape, for how things ended last meeting. I meant nothing by what I said. I..." Remus started.

"If you are asking for my forgiveness you will not find it," Severus replied cutting Remus off. "I have no intention of discussing our exchange last meeting. So if that is all you want from me Lupin I suggest you go on your way."

"Ah good Arthur you've arrived," Albus's voice from out in the hall cut off any reply Remus was going to make. As Arthur and a group of Auror's made their way into the room. Albus greeting each in turn. Remus returned to his seat. Sirius made his way into the room not long afterwards. Soon the room was full and the meeting began.

* * *

Harry had gone straight up to his bed after the feast. Not wanting to talk to anyone. He was annoyed at Ron. He didn't feel like trying to explain things to Hermione. He just wanted to be alone. Silently sitting on his bed with the curtains drawn. His History of Magic textbook sitting on the bed in front of him and a self-inking quill, he had gotten for Christmas from Draco, in his hand. A piece of parchment sitting spread over the book. Harry was determined to write the letter to Snape tonight. Wanting to have it delivered by owl tomorrow at breakfast. 

He stared for a long moment at the blank piece of parchment before him. He couldn't stop thinking of all the things he wanted to say. He didn't know how to say them. One of the reasons he was doing the letter instead of going to Snape's office and speaking with him. The truth was even if he trusted Snape, the teacher still scared him. He's seen two sides of the man. The scary side in his class and the kind man who'd cared for him over christmas. They though he didn't remember about those first nights when he'd had nightmares, but he had. He just hadn't mentioned it to anyone. No one had ever held him until he fell back to sleep after a nightmare before. Snape had been the first. And then Narcissa had sang to him. He loved the sound of her voice. 

Narcissa had asked him to write to her. He had said he would, but he didn't know what to write to her about. He wondered if he could tell her about Ron. Maybe she'd know what he could do? 

His thoughts kept spinning around as he stared at the blank parchment in front of him. He could hear the others coming up to the dormitory. Some soft voices drifted towards him. He remained silent. Sitting in his darkened bed. He was still unsure of what to write. Having only managed to pen in a 'Dear Uncle Severus' onto the top of the letter. It was funny how it had become easy to call Snape Uncle Severus. Almost like the name belonged there. 

He didn't do anymore work on his letter as he listened in silence. Listening intently until four soft snores announced everyone else had fallen asleep. Sneaking out of his bed he slid up onto the window ledge with his book and parchment and quill. Watching the night sky darken.

It was well past moonrise when he'd finally started to write the letter. It had taken him so long just to figure out what he wanted to say. He finished just as the clock read midnight on his bedside table. Tucking the letter into an envelop he addressed only as: Uncle Severus. He was just about to go grab his cloak when a soft tap on the window startled him. 

He walked away from his trunk and looked out the window. Hedwig was tapping at his window. He pulled it open and let her inside. She sat down on the ledge and extended her leg were a small parcel was tied. He quickly pulled it off and handed her the letter for Snape. 

"Can you get that to Snape tomorrow morning?" Harry asked. Hedwig hooted happily and nipped his finger playfully. Waiting for him to open the parcel. Harry settled back on the ledge with Hedwig nestled close to his side. Tearing open the brown paper he found a small book with a note taped onto the top. He took off the note and read it.

_  
Harry,_

_I was decorating your room this morning and while shopping for some Quidditch posters I happened upon this book. I know how much you love Quidditch and though of you when I saw it._

_Love  
Narcissa Malfoy  
_

Harry took the book and read the cover 'Quidditch tricks and tips'. His mouth fell open as the silver writing caught the light. He couldn't believe what he held. Remembering how he'd sent out all those thank you letters after receiving gifts for Christmas, Harry knew he had to send her a thank you note now. Pulling out a fresh piece of parchment he wrote quickly. In his excitement the writing was less then neat. He hopped that the slight blotches of ink and the slightly untidy scrawl wouldn't be too hard to read. Tucking the letter into an envelop he labeled it and handed it to Hedwig.

"I want you to deliver that to Narcissa Malfoy after you've delivered Snape's letter please," Harry said and Hedwig nipped at him for a treat. Harry got her an owl treat out of his trunk and she ate it before flying off out into the cold night. Closing the window again Harry got into bed. Tucking the book under his pillow.

* * *

The meeting had ended. As usual Moly had invited everyone for pudding and tea afterwards. However, Severus had as usual refused. He was just finishing up his conversation with Albus and about to head for the door. When Sirius stopped him by blocking his path. Before Severus could coldly demand that the mutt move Sirius held out a large open box towards him.

Severus looked into the box and froze in place. Not a single sound could be heard from him. His eyes had gone wide. His face pale. He stood ram rod straight. He looked to be in shock. Memories slammed into him of a small snake so very similar to the one inside the box. His hand unconsciously went towards the opening. The small snake slid up onto his palm and coiled around his wrist. His unblinking gaze never leaving the small creature. 

"I... ah... wanted to say I'm sorry," Sirius began. His voice shook and he seemed to be having a hard time saying the words. "I shouldn't have done what I did with your snake Snape. I didn't think she'd actually die." That was just the thing Sirius didn't think. That's what led to a lot of the problems between the two of them. Sirius had realized that over the time he'd had between the last meeting and this one. 

Severus didn't seem to have heard the words. He did hear them. He was just unable to respond. Too many emotions rose to bite him. He had found his little snake in his mother's back garden. While he was weeding it. It had been to small to survive on it's own and so he'd taken her in. His mother had helped him make the potions they would need to save her. Taught him how to care for the little snake. Since that day Severus had had her has his companion. He didn't think of her as a pet. She was his companion. He could talk to her, tell her everything. He had confided in her and for the first three years of his school life she had been his solace. Until she died in his second year. He didn't know that anyone had known she was there. He'd kept her hidden. Not even Lucius had known about her. Until one night he found her dead. On his bed. He'd known who it was that had done it. The evidence wasn't hard to see. One of the two joke rats they had bewitched was still twitching on the bed next to her. 

"Why?" Severus managed to ask. He still hadn't looked away from the small snake who's head was currently laying in his palm. 

"Well she'd nearly eaten -Peter-," Sirius sneered the name like it was the most fowl word he'd ever uttered. 

"She... what?" Severus asked blinking. He looked up at Sirius away from the little serpent. Completely at a loss for what was going on. 

"You didn't know?" Sirius was aghast. "We always assumed you knew. That you'd sent her as a cruel joke."

"Are you planning on making sense?" Severus snarked. He didn't enjoy being confused. His eyes narrowed in irritation. His hand instinctively brought the snake closer to his chest. Protectively shielding her. 

"Um... -Peter- was an animagus Snape. We all are. That was the first time -Peter- managed the transformation. Then that snake comes out of no where and tries to eat him. We tracked it back to the Slytherin Dorms so we just knew it was you. We thought you'd been sending the snake to spy on us. We wanted to get it sick so you wouldn't be able to send it after -Peter- again," Sirius explained. Though his voice was growing softer with each word as the expression on Severus's face began to harden into one of fierce anger. The narrowed eyed glare and tight lip scowl made him a terror to behold. 

"So you murdered her instead?" Severus demanded in a cold voice. Silence fell at the hissed words. Everyone who'd still be in the den turned to look at the two. 

"That was an accident. James said the dose wouldn't poison her. Just make her sick," Sirius said gently. Holding up both hands. The box haven been set down near his feet. "He was always a dunce at potions," Sirius added with a sigh. 

Severus didn't know what to say. He looked from Sirius to the small snake still coiled about his wrist. Her eyes still looking at him. For a long moment he stood still as stone. Looking at the tiny creature. "Why?" He asked again. The question he'd originally intended. Not why had they killed his first snake, but why did he give him this one?

It took a long moment before Sirius replied, "to try and make amends," Sirius's words were barely audible. "I learned some things last meeting and had a lot of time to think about it. What we did was wrong, nothing will change that. I don't expect you to trust me. Or hell even forgive me. I just wanted to show you that I won't be doing it anymore. I'm sorry," Sirius finally said. The words sounding sincere. 

Anger vanished instantly from Severus. Leaving him at a loss. As his gaze met Sirius's he realized three things in quick successions. One, if it hadn't been for the small snake he held he'd have never listed to Sirius. Two, he couldn't draw on that hatred and anger that usually came so easily to him every time he saw Sirius. Three, he wanted to forgive. That last thought made him still even more. He didn't know it was possible, but he realized he'd been waiting for an apology that he had thought would never come. He knew he couldn't trust Sirius, wasn't even sure he'd ever like the man. He was however, ready to let that part of his past go. To finally stop being tormented by those demons. He had enough demons as an adult. The actions of children were often without thought and cruel. He'd seen it so often, being a teacher, he'd been waiting to hear the sincere apology to let it go. Now he had. He realized Lupin had been trying to do the same thing, but he hadn't been willing to listen then. 

He finally nodded slowly. Sirius looked relieved. "Apology accepted," Severus said in a barely audible tone. The message was clear however. Severus was able to hold a grudge, but this was one he didn't need to. In that moment he realized something else. They had all suffered by the loss of Lily. Sirius had suffered as much as he had. He'd lost his best friend that night. Just as Severus had. Somehow that connection hadn't been there before. It still wasn't. Not completely. He didn't want to admit it aloud. He might never admit it. He would however, accept the apology that was given. Severus turned to catch Lupin's gaze, "I accept you apology as well Lupin," he said very softly. He knew the other heard. Without another word he walked out of the den and down the hall. Not wanting to hear what went on after his departure.


	30. Only Human

Severus did not apparate straight to the school as he'd been planning on doing. He instead ended up outside the Malfoy residence. Slightly startled by his own choices Severus looked down at the small snake he held in his hand. Why he felt suddenly overwhelmed and bothered by what had happened shook him to his core. He was not used to being broken down so easily. He had shielded his mind for so long from everything. Holding the walls of his anger and hatred as mortar for his walls. Now the very things he'd thought central and universal in his world were falling apart around him. Black and Lupin had apologized of all things and actually meant it. Black had attempted reconciliation. Something Severus had not been expecting. This small snake had awoken the memories of his school days. Memories he tried so hard to burry so deep he couldn't remember them. He didn't want to remember them. Remembering them meant remembering Lily. 

The pain from those memories was physical. He was shaking uncontrollably. There was only one person who knew how deeply he had loved Lily. Only one person who'd understand what he felt now. Only one person who'd ever understood. Even when Albus had told him of her death and watched him fall apart. He'd not completely understood. He'd wanted only to have Severus watch over Harry. Protect him. Lucius knew and understood. 

Severus took a staggering step forwards. He still remembered when he'd left Dumbledore's office. He'd gone to his home. To Spinners End. Lucius had been there. Lucius had known what was needed. He'd seen the way Severus had looked. If it hadn't been for Lucius Severus knew the night would have ended differently. Now he stumbled through the gate not even realizing that as he breached the wards he alerted Lucius to his presence. 

He walked to the garden were he'd spent time as a boy with Lucius. Were he'd confessed his true feeling for Lily to his best friend. His knees buckled and he sank to the ground. Letting gravity draw him to the earth. The hard stone met his knees and slowly he sank lower. Until he was kneeling hunched forwards on the cold surface. His arms wrapped around himself. Protectively holding the snake close. Tears swam in his eyes obscuring the world around him. The icy bite of cold sinking it's teeth into his flesh. Shivering uncontrollably he didn't realize he wasn't dressed for winter. 

"Severus?" Lucius's voice broke into his thoughts. Followed by a light touch. Severus flinched away from the contact. His head shot up to see who was near him. Who'd touched him. His eyes locked onto the platinum gaze of his friend. "What the hell happened?" Lucius asked startled at the state the other was in. He'd only seen Severus look this lost once in his adult life. The raw pain shining from the obsidian gaze was beyond anything Lucius expected to see. Not even when tortured was Severus this bad off. Something had happened. It was the what that confused Lucius. 

"Severus talk to me," Lucius demanded of the silent man. Those staring black eyes didn't seem to see him. They were too unfocused to see anything. The silence was troubling Lucius deeply. How could he help if he couldn't know what was going on. For years Narcissa had insisted that Severus would crack shielding himself from his own emotions the way he did. Lucius knew it too. He'd seen it when Lily had died. Lucius froze. Looking at the snake cradled protectively against his body. The way his eyes shone with pain and how he didn't seem to be here in the present space. Something was wrong. Something had been wrong all along and no one noticed. It wasn't any wonder. Lucius had known how bad things were for Severus, it had always amazed him how strong the other was. How he could take anything without flinching. That hadn't been true. Severus had just been hiding it all. Never allowing it to touch him. What had broken him then? Why now? 

"Come on, you'll freeze to death out here," Lucius stated. Grabbing Severus's upper arm and ignoring the man's flinching. The lack of fight at pulling the other off the ground startled Lucius. It was like he didn't react to the here or now. Clearly he was lost somewhere. Leading Severus to the house proved relatively easy so long as he didn't let go of Severus. He'd done that after a few steps. The man just stopped dead in his tracks and stood there staring off into space. That was disconcerting. 

When they entered the den Narcissa rose dropping the book she'd been reading onto the floor and running over. Lucius shook his head as she guided Severus to the couch. 

"What has happened?" Narcissa asked of her husband completely at a loss. She'd never seen him like this. His eyes were glassy and his face was deathly pale. Lucius took a long moment to notice the changes that had seemed to be progressing in his friend. He didn't know what to make of any of it. 

"I've no idea. I found him like this in the garden..." Lucius began and trailed off. His eyes going wide with realization. The garden. The garden where Severus had been that summer. The summer of his fifth year when he'd told Lucius everything. About his mother being deathly ill, about his father's threats, about the Marauders prank and most importantly about Lily. There's only one reason Severus would go there. He'd avoided that garden since her death. Something had to have broken his mental shields or triggered those memories. 

"Lucius?" Narcissa asked carefully looking from her statued guest to her husband. At a loss. "What's going on?"

"That garden is where Severus told me everything. Do you remember about a year after we were wed. How I got a letter that was so shocking I didn't sleep for a week?" Lucius asked his wife. 

"Yes, it was Severus's fifth year. You wanted to go straight to Hogwarts to see him. I wouldn't let you," Narcissa said. Confused she continued, "you never did tell me what that letter said."

"It had only said a few words: I lost her," Lucius said. 

"That makes no sense," Narcissa retorted. 

"It does if you knew Severus back then. He was even more reserved with words then he is now," Lucius explained. He held up a hand to forestall her next words. Quietly he went on, "Severus didn't speak of anyone except one girl. Lily Evans. That summer when he came here, he told me he loved her. Not just any love Cissa, he was in love with her. His words were very precise. I cannot live without her. That's what he'd said to me. Before he told me everything. I tried to go and speak with her to explain what Severus could not. Or would not. With him I could never tell. She was too stubborn to do more then tell me she didn't want any dark wizards on her doorstep. It turns out he'd tried to apologize to her, but she wouldn't listen to him. Just as she wouldn't listen to me. Throwing insults at both of us. All but accusing me of being a Death Eater. Certain he was one already."

Lucius sighed. He closed his eyes remembering that awful day. He'd just walked out of Lily's door when he'd heard something shattering in the house down the street. Not a moment later he'd seen Severus running from the door. Vanishing into the gloom. He hadn't caught up with him then. Those next years had seen many changes for both of them. 

"Well you were considering becoming a Death Eater back then love," Narcissa reminded him. Lucius sighed. 

"It wasn't like that. The thing she accused Severus of were down right dreadful. How he could still love her was beyond me. How he can still love her now. I will never understand. If she accused him openly of those things, what she told me he'd done in school. It's no wonder he chose to join me in following the Dark Lord a few years later when he was still so young. It wasn't until the night before he took the mark that I came to understand how he knew so many dark spells. What Lily had seen him do in school, it wasn't random hexing of students. As she believed it was. Every incident was instigated by others. Severus defended himself in the most vicious way he could. I knew him in his first year Cissa," Lucius went on. Taking a deep breath. "After the first prank they played on him, when they threw him in the lake, he started to learn some very advanced hexes. Things that could incapacitate those who were threatening him. He got into a lot of trouble over it."

"I was there Lucius, I remember that prank. He nearly died! The teachers did nothing about it, when I went to Slughorn he just said," Narcissa spoke with heated disdain. She made air quotes and snarled. "boys will be boys." Her words were deadly with venom. "How can anyone blame him for learning magical defence? I hexed my own cousin for what he'd done. He deserved it. He's lucky I didn't tell my mother. She'd have used a cruciatus on him. That is nothing to what his own mother would have done."

"Never the less he came to believe that if he didn't protect himself no one else would. He could fight back there, unlike at home. No one else was in danger of being hurt. He didn't have to protect someone else by being docile. He took that to mean he could be ruthless. He was ruthless back then. According to Lily it got worse as he got older. So did the pranks. I still remember some of the letters he sent me in the earlier years asking for advice. All the things he had to deal with alone. He told me once how he'd tried to talk to Dumbledore about it, the man laughed at him. After the incident in the shrieking shack he changed. Something entirely different happened then. Something he'd never even told me about, but he became so vicious it was almost terrifying." Lucius finally stopped speaking looking over at Severus. He'd never told Narcissa all of this. Her face darkened with anger. 

"Are you honestly defending that mudblood? For what she did to him?" Narcissa demanded hotly. 

"No. I hate Lily for what she did to Severus. With every ounce of my being I loath her. Her cruelness and selfishness drove Severus towards that edge. I'm telling you how she saw it back then. I'm giving you all the information I have on this mess. From Severus and from Lily. I don't know what happened tonight. All I know is that when she died he repressed everything. The night he came back from Dumbledore's office he was like this. Only worse. There's only one thing he kept repeating. I failed her. Over and over again. Then when he calmed down after a long time he told me only one thing. Nothing else matters except that I keep him safe. His words. Exactly. From that moment onwards he's been even more cold and distant. It's like you've always said. He shut himself away. It started when he was a kid and that night it was like he made the choice not to feel. I'd hoped in time he would learn that he could trust. That he could be close to people without always being hurt. Yet, that will never be. He's constantly forced into danger for others. I've only just noticed not long ago. How much he takes for me. For us," Lucius paused. Then he began pacing. 

"Did you know, he's taken every punishment from the Dark Lord for my failures?" Lucius asked his wife. 

"Why would he do that?" Narcissa asked startled. She'd suspected when Lucius had come home after missions worried over the reaction he'd received. Only to be whole and sane when he returned to her after being summoned. 

"To protect you and Draco," Lucius explained. Looking at his friend as he stilled his pacing. He'd been thinking of that so often in the last months. How had he never noticed it before. That his friend. His brother. Had stood in his place for so many failures. 

"Well I for one want to understand what happened tonight," Narcissa said in a determined voice. She had learned so many things about Severus she hadn't known. Some she'd suspected. He'd come here for a reason. Now he looked almost catatonic. What had happened. It seemed the only thing he was aware of was the snake that was coiled around his hand. 

They didn't have to try and get answers from Severus however, for in the next moment the chime announcing a floo call sounded through the den. Narcissa looked over to Lucius who started at the sound. Lucius looked from her to Severus for a long moment before speaking.

"Stay here with him," Lucius said. Taking no chances tonight. He walked out and towards the floo room not giving her a second glance. He didn't wait for her response. He knew she'd listen. He only ever used that tone with her when it was imperative she listen. As he entered the room he noticed two things. The person calling didn't have the passcode to enter and the chime was the one for Hogwarts. He'd coded it to a different sound so he'd know incase something happened to his son. 

"Professor Dumbledore, to what do I owe this call?" Lucius inquired of the face in the fireplace. He did not release the spell that prevented Albus from flooing over. 

"A matter of great importance, may I come over?" Albus asked politely. 

"I'm afraid not. You will have to explain more on why you require entrance into my home," Lucius replied politely. He had no intention of putting Severus in father danger if his current state was due to Albus's idiotic actions again. 

"It concerns Severus," Albus stated. "I would rather we discuss this further in private," he added quickly. 

"I shall floo over to your office then," Lucius responded neutrally. Albus nodded in accent, it was clear that Lucius would not allow him to step through. Albus moved out of the fire and Lucius flooed over a few moments later. 

"Please sit," Albus said waving to the chair in front of his desk. Lucius looked over to the portraits on the wall before taking the offered tea. He declined tea and random sweats and waited impatiently for the man to say something productive. He would not reveal anything until he knew what had transpired and how much Albus knew. 

Sighing Albus finally spoke, "have you seen Severus tonight?" Albus finally asked. 

"Why do you wish to know?" Lucius countered. Making no indication weather he had or not. 

"I am worried about him," Albus said after a long moment of silence. His shining blue eyes were cold and lines of worry creased the elder wizards face. Lucius met his gaze. 

"Why?" Lucius inquired. Maybe he'd get some answers now. 

"If I tell you, will you tell me where he is?" Albus inquired. 

"That depends on what you tell me," Lucius answered honestly. 

"I cannot expect you to trust me if I do not show you the same curtesy, very well then," Albus said after a long pause and a sigh. His worried gaze bore into Lucius's. He spoke in a tone of voice that was full of sorrow, "there were a series of incidences. I fear they may have affected Severus rather negatively. I presume being such good friends with Severus that you know Sirius Black and Remus Lupin?"

"Yes. Black was my wife's cousin until he was disowned by his mother. The other is his friend. Both were friends of Potter and Pettigrew. What has this got to do with Severus?" Lucius said. Again not revealing how much he knew about their interactions with Severus. 

"Everything," Albus sighed. He spoke softly, "I made many mistakes with him Lucius. I did not listen fully when he told me of their pranks. I was more concerned with the dark hexes he had used against the students. Looking back now I realize the error of my ways. I cannot change the past or how it affect him. I regret that it was these very things that drove him away from the light, and that by the time I took him away from his situation it was already too late. Alastor got a little irritated with Sirius's behaviour and exposed some of Severus's past to Remus and Sirius. As a result of that Sirius and Remus have attempted to seek forgiveness from Severus. Remus had tried twice unsuccessfully to speak with Severus about it. This last confrontation with Sirius resulted in a few very different things happening. Sirius present Severus with a snake. It turns out one of the pranks the boys had played on Severus resulted in the death of his pet. I'm afraid this broke through Severus's walls in a most unexpected way."

"You have no idea what your meddling has done do you?" Lucius demanded getting angry. The more he heard of this story the more he realized exactly what had happened. Lucius rose glaring at Albus, "You claim you wanted to help him. If you knew about how he was being treated at home then you should have known that the only place he'd thought he'd be safe was Hogwarts. You let those boys bully him and make that place worse then his home had been. When I graduated Severus had no one here. Do you honestly think he wants to remember how he survived those seven years? Do you honestly think a simple apology from those bullies will ever make up for the things they did? Do you have any ideas what you ask of him?"

"Calm yourself," Albus began. Lucius glowered and he did the exact opposite of calming down. He got angrier.

"No, you meddling fool! I will not calm down. I've seen Severus tonight. Just as I saw him that night! Just how much more do you plan to poke around in his life?" Lucius demanded. "How much more do you expect from him? You ask too much of him already. Now you expect him to suddenly forgive the bullies who made his life at Hogwarts hell? Are you completely insane? Or are you just trying to destroy him completely?"

"I don't want to hurt him at all," Albus responded calm as ever. Lucius leaned on the desk so he was glaring down at Albus. 

"Whatever your plans are in regard to Severus I won't allow you to harm him further, he's suffered enough," Lucius declared growling low. He pushed himself away from Albus's desk and spun towards the fireplace. One final deadly growl was heard before he grabbed the floo powder and left. "He's at Malfoy Manor and you are not welcome there."

Lucius stepped out of the green flames to find his wife standing in the doorway holding her wand towards the fire. She lowered it instantly. He regarded her with one raised brow. 

"He's upstairs. He said he'll be fine in the morning he just wanted some time to think about things. Luc I'm worried. He's burning with fever and he looks as though he hasn't slept in nearly a week. I don't know if he has been sleeping much at all. He looked distracted at the Resort, and here he spent more time down in our potions lab then anywhere else. Well besides the library. I fear he's working himself too hard again. When I went upstairs to check on him just moments before you came back he was sitting by the window writing none stop in a book. He didn't even notice me there," Narcissa said in a rush. Lucius sighed. He'd seen this side of Severus too. 

"He is doing what he always does when he doesn't want to think about something. Burying himself in his potions. That man will work himself to death," Lucius grumbled to himself. 

"Did you find out what happened?" Narcissa asked. 

"The idiot of a headmaster decided to put Black and Lupin in a room with Severus and see what happened. Blasted meddling fool thinks he can somehow get Severus to forgive them," Lucius explained exasperated. 

"What in Merlins name is he thinking?" Narcissa gasped. 

"No doubt some stupid Gryffindor concept we'll never understand. Though I think I might have made a point with my words tonight. I'm afraid I lost my temper," Lucius went on. 

"I'd have hexed him," Narcissa growled. 

"Well that I didn't do my dear," Lucius said laughing lightly.

* * *

Severus hadn't slept that night. He'd spent the night working on the Dark Lord's poison. He had been working at it since they had returned from Camelot. He never did sleep much. Now it seemed he hardly slept at all. He couldn't remember what exactly had happened last night after he'd apparated to Malfoy Manor. He was however embarrassed by it. He had lost himself. No doubt acted in a manor unbecoming of who he was. He was disgusted with his lack of self-control. 

He packed up his notebook, quill and ink and descended the stairs to the kitchen dining room. A small room where the Malfoys ate their meals when they were alone. Settling into the chair next to Lucius Severus served himself coffee. Lucius put down the paper and looked at him. Severus sighed inwardly at that look. 

"How do you feel?" Lucius asked. There was concern and worry in his eyes. 

"I'm fine," Severus replied. He wasn't of course. He knew he was probably coming down with something. He'd felt feverish the day before. Maybe that was what had happened. He could always dose himself when he got back to school. 

"Clearly," Narcissa said darkly settling down in her seat on Lucius's other side. "That's exactly why I had to give you a fever reducer yesterday evening and why you look like you haven't slept in weeks."

"Thank you," Severus said in response to the medication she'd given him. "Though it is hardly necessary. I am perfectly fine."

"Hardly Necessary!" Narcissa growled. "Have you gone mad? Lucius found you on the ground outside the manor! You were paler then the sheets! Delirious and burning with fever. What you were doing there is beyond my knowledge! Why you'd apparate in that state. What were you thinking?"

Severus glared at her. Narcissa had always scolded him as if he were a child. Yes he was several years younger then her. That however didn't make it any less irritating. "I'm perfectly capable of caring for myself."

"Yes I can see that," Narcissa said sarcastically. 

"Enough, both of you," Lucius finally said sighing. "Narcissa is right Severus, you do not look well. You were certainly unwell yesterday. However, if you do not want our help then at least tell us what happened?"

"I'm not entirely certain myself. Black gave me a snake. To replace the one he'd murdered in my third year. He wanted to make amends. It forced me to listen to what he was saying. I never would have listened. Lupin had been trying to speak to me about the same thing. I had ignored him. I hadn't forgotten and I had used that anger to push the memories away. To strengthen my mental shields. When I accepted their apology the anger and hatred left me. I wasn't expecting that. I wasn't ready for the affect it had on my occlumency. A weakness I will be sure to correct," Severus answered. Knowing Lucius was right. He owed them an explanation at least and even though he hated to admit it. He did. 

"That is not a weakness Sev," Narcissa said softly in response.

"She's right Severus," Lucius added. Severus didn't respond he simply filled his plate and began to eat. Silence fell. Though he did listen to what they had said. He was beyond exhausted and needed to rest. He had lessons today and couldn't afford to spend the day sleeping. He needed to head back to Hogwarts and prepare. Without anymore words exchanged Severus flooed back to his rooms.

* * *

The rest of the day proved to be challenging for the tried Potions Master. He had just finished his lessons for the day and had gone to dinner in the great hall shortly thereafter. Sitting at his spot he hadn't really touched any of the food in front of him. Something a certain Gryffindor Witch had noticed. As he'd left the hall a short while later Severus hadn't realized he'd been followed until he reached his office door. A hand stopped him from closing it. He followed that arm up to the face of the woman who held his office door open. He glared at her. 

"Might I have a word with you Severus?" Minerva asked. Ignoring the dark glower he gave. Sighing Severus waved her inside and closed the door as she took a seat. He settled himself behind his desk. Splaying his hands over it's surface and regarding her. 

"How are you?" Minerva asked. She had not missed the look on his face when he'd left the meeting the other night. 

"I'm fine," Severus said darkly. Why did everyone always ask him that bothersome questions? He wondered. 

"You're pale and glassy eyed, you're not fine," Minerva pressed. "Now unless you want me to drag you to see Poppy tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong!" Severus growled in a low hiss. Minerva just raised and eyebrow and met his gaze. Unmoving. She crossed her arms and waited for him to continued. Severus sighed after a long moment of staring at her, "you won't leave until I tell you will you?"

"No," Minerva replied. Crisply. 

"Fine, I have a cold, there happy?" Severus groused. 

"Not even a little," Minerva responded. Rising. When she reached out to touch Severus's forehead he pushed himself back and rose. Taking a step away from her. 

"Don't touch me," Severus said. He hated physical contact and she knew it. 

"How bad?" Minerva asked instead. Recrossing her arms over her chest. He raised one eyebrow at her question. Clearly she was beginning to annoy him. "How bad is your fever Severus?" She repeated elaborating on what she wanted to know. 

"Nothing I cannot cure with rest and potions, please leave." He replied and abruptly dismissed her.

Minerva glared at him for a long moment, but as he was unmoving and stubbornly refusing to allow conversation, she sighed. Shaking her head she said, "you really are the most stubborn man I have ever met." Resigned she walked to his door. "You realize you can allow others to help you from time to time." With that she left him. Bemused by her words he sighed. Locking and warding his office he went to retire in his rooms. A good nights rest would do him good. Grabbing two potions from his private stores he downed them. Showered and went to bed. Taking a dreamless sleep before succumbing to the welcoming darkness.


	31. Midnight Wandering

Severus woke up earlier then he'd expected the next day. Blinking the sleep from his gaze he realized he felt both surprisingly rested and achy. Deciding on a nice long shower and a quiet breakfast he did just that. As he sat down at his table he noticed the stack of letters held left there from yesterday. One set of handwriting on an envelope that held only his name caught his attention. It had been delivered by Harry's owl at the Malfoys the morning before. He hadn't however opened it yet. He reached out and grabbed it as he sipped his coffee. 

The writing on the parchment was very messy. Something Severus had noticed from the boys essays. The word choices was rather odd. He seemed to be deliberately trying to say something without saying it. Reading the letter gave Severus the feeling that he was talking with a Slytherin. It was structured very much like the essays Severus received from the boy. Almost like the lad felt it necessary to explain his choice to go live with the Malfoys. 

He chucked a little at the ending of the letter. Which seemed so odd for an eleven year old boy. To promise to be good. It made him sad at the same time. Almost like the child feared he'd be sent away if he wasn't good. How interesting. He knew he'd need to dig into the situation and learn what exactly had transpired in the boy's home-life, but he was hopping that he could do this over the summer. When the boy was more comfortable around them all. They would of course need further proof then when he's provided before they could legally claim full guardianship of Harry.

As Severus finished up with the rest of his letters for the day he considered what he should write back to the boy. Unable to find a suitable response he kept thinking it over as he went about his classes for the day. At lunch he failed to notice sad eyes watching him. As the rest of his classes for the day passed without much incident. Managing to keep his charges from blowing up his potions classroom Severus found himself at dinner without realizing the day had already flown away. He didn't notice the small boy watching him as he was busy with his evening plans. He would have to begin doing a trial run of the potions this evening. He was designing a series of wards that would protect the school along with his work. His mind elsewhere he ate mechanically and barely noticed anyone looking at him at all. A blond haired boy was wondering what was going on with a small dark hair boy. He had hoped to catch his head of house, but Severus had been far too preoccupied. That much was clear to the blond child. 

Severus was fairly certain he'd worked out the formula for this potion. However, the time it would take to make it would put him tight on his deadline. He couldn't dedicate the added time he'd need to speed up the process due to his duties as a professor and head of house. He refused to allow his students to suffer because he had other requirements on his time. As it was only Wednesday he was fairly sure none of his students would need him. Seeing as most tended to wait until tomorrow or Friday afternoon when he would be in the common room for two hours. Or come to him on Saturday when he had an open office for any of his students. He usually had a fairly open door policy, his wards around his office alerted him when a student knocked on it. If he wasn't busy or otherwise engaged he would see who it was and what they wanted. Unlike many of the other heads of house he was very involved in his house. He kept a very close eye on his snakes and had numerous extracurricular planned out that they could partake in. Though most of those were run by his prefects. He would still take the time to come and see how they were getting on. 

Once a month he ran a defence club where he taught his upper year students defensive spells and protective charms. Seeing as most of his snakes were from Death Eater families he wanted them prepared. It also allowed him to try and give them a way out of the lifestyle should they choose. Unfortunately he had to be more careful with that then he would like. Every third weekend he held a potions club for his upper year students who were serious about potions. They however were only three this year. Which was much easier to work with. However, both these activities required his attention fully. That meant usually a couple of days of work for him. Making it even harder to insure he'd finish this potion as it wasn't like his research paper. He couldn't work on this one around the students even in his potions club as he usually did with his other research. 

This also meant that Severus was refusing to acknowledge the fact he was still feeling quite ill. Even though his fever was significantly lower then it had been a few days ago. He had no time to worry about it. If he did not finish the potion for the Dark Lord on time he would be certain to suffer for it. He may not even survive the encounter. That was always a possibility. Sighing he left diner not realizing he'd barely eaten more then a quarter of his place. Three others notices besides the blond boy who had been watching Severus non stop since he'd sat down looking quite distracted. 

Severus made his way down into his private lab beginning to cast the new wards around the room effectively sealing this part of the castle. He could not prevent Dumbledore from accessing the room of course. As Hogwarts had wards that prevented this. The headmaster had to have access everywhere. He could however, seal the room from everyone else. Making it nearly impossible for anything to get in. Or anything to get out. Satisfied that even the fumes wouldn't be able to escape the room without being filtered first Severus began to prepare.

* * *

Meanwhile Harry was beginning to wonder why he had not received a letter in return. He'd poured his heart out to his uncle. He had expected to receive a reply by now. He wasn't even sure if the man had read his letter. Feeling forgotten and wondering if maybe Ron really was right Harry had started to avoid his friends. This had evidently not gone unnoticed. He'd already been avoiding Ron, now he was avoiding Hermione, Theo, Blaise and Draco too. He'd been cornered by Fred and George the other day and they insisted on finding out what was wrong. It had taken a long time, but they were so persuasive that Harry finally told them. 

What Harry had not been expecting was what the twins told him. Snape was ill. They were certain of it, because they had not been called into his office. They explained that they always had a four hour time-slot on weekends were they could brew potions to send to their mother. Severus had caught them brewing in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. He'd given them detention, but after three times catching them he'd decided to offer them a deal. They would only brew in his presence during regularly scheduled times. Or they would be in detention every day for the remainder of the year. At first they'd only been doing experiments, but he'd soon started teaching them a few helpful potions they could send to their mother. Stuff that was usually expensive to buy but was necessary in every wizarding home, especially those with kids. They had learned a lot from him. They had also been allowed to experiment, but they had to have their experimental formula approved first. Only he hadn't sent them a message yet this week and he'd not been himself in class. So they knew for a fact he was ill. He only forgot things when he was too busy or ill. 

Harry was thinking about all this. It was a side of Snape he didn't know. He'd seen a few sides to the man. The strict and stern professor who didn't tolerate anything in his class. The friendly almost father like man who was with them at Christmas. Now he was seeing another side of the man. Something he hadn't realized before. Lying in his bad after dinner he was wondering if the twins were right? If he was sick then maybe that's why he hadn't answered. 

Frustrated Harry was getting antsy of being in his dorm. He could hear Ron and Dean talking in the room not far away, Neville and Seamus were discussing something as well in hushed voices, and Harry just wanted silence. Getting up he grabbed his backpack where his invisibility cloak was hidden and quickly made his way out of his dorm before anyone noticed him leaving. He snuck down to the common room only to find it nearly empty. Were was everyone? Deciding that maybe it was safer to pull on his invisibility cloak here instead Harry pulled off his backpack. Grabbed the cloak and looked around making sure no one saw him. Sneaking out was easy, but he soon realized it must be after curfew. 

He wondered around the school with no clear idea where he was going when he found himself in a classroom. What he saw made him gape open mouthed. A beautiful golden mirror sat in the centre of the room. Deliberately he made his way to it and started badly as he saw not only his own reflection, but a whole lot of people. Right behind him was a red haired woman with his green eyes smiling at him. Next to her a black haired man with his features. Both were smiling at him. Harry stared open mouthed as he looked at all the others. Not even realizing he'd dropped the cloak from his shoulders. He slowly sank to the ground in front of the mirror.

"Mom? Dad?" He whispered as tears began to fall. His family were smiling and waving at him. He reached out to touch them, but felt nothing but cold glass. He wanted to scream. He wanted to touch them. He could feel the tears falling down his face. He couldn't tear his gaze away from the mirror.

* * *

Severus sighed and stretched. He had six hours before he needed to return to add in another round of ingredients before he could put the potion into stasis. Blinking the grit out of his eyes he turned away from the murky cauldron. He found he was sore and stiff. His head was aching. Realizing it was probably due to the fume filled room, Severus decided a walk around the castle to check that no student was out of bed would be good. He set a monitoring charm around the cauldron and place a timer charm on it so it would alert him an hour before he needed to be here. That would give him plenty of time. Even if he had to deal out detentions. 

Leaving the room to the cold air of the dungeons was invigorating. Even though he still felt dizzy and exhausted the biting cold was welcomed to the stifling heat. Glad that the castle would be cool due to the weather outside Severus made his way up and out of the dungeons after doing a brief inspection to make sure non of his snakes were out of bed. None were. He was grateful for that. He always hated having to give his snakes detentions or taking points off them. He showed them favouritism in his class because he knew they so rarely got it let alone fair treatment. He was however known for his disciplinary actions and his intolerance of disobedience. A reputation alone that served it's purpose in keeping his house well behaved for the most part. As he'd told them at the start of term, if they did not give the teachers reasons to punish them the likely hood that they would be punished unnecessarily would demising. He did not like or approve of this, but Slytherin house had earned a bad reputation due to the number of Death Eaters that were Slytherin. Not to mention the Dark Lord himself. 

His musings were cut short as he rounded a corner near the third floor corridor. He saw light coming out of a slightly open classroom door which should have been empty and locked. Frowning he made his way to the door. At first nothing appeared amiss inside. The classroom was dimly lit. The desks neatly piled to one side. Like many unused classrooms. The centre of the space was dominated by the mirror of Erised. Severus was about to close the door when he saw it. A small bit of black hair showing floating on empty air. He blinked as the hair moved and an ear was revealed. There was no way that messy head of hair could belong to another child. It was Harry, but what was Harry's head doing here. Severus scoffed at his thoughts. It wasn't his head, it was the boy. He had used his invisibility cloak to sneak out, but why. How had he known about the mirror that Dumbledore had been studying for near on a year now? Severus glared at the door. Why was it unlocked and unwarded. Unless. Severus looked around the room, but he did not see anyone. He couldn't hear anyone, but he felt another presence in the room. He could only guess that Dumbledore was watching them invisibly. Fine. If the old man wasn't going to interfere in the boy's clear obsession like so many before him, Severus would. That mirror was dangerous. 

"Potter!" Severus called. Walking into the room. He received no answer which did not surprise him. If the boy had been looking into the mirror for a long time now he'd not even hear him. Sighing heavily he walked right up to the boy. Or where he knew the boy to be from his hair. Taking hold of the cloak he pulled it off the boy exposing the child. The child started and fell over trying to turn around quickly while still looking into the mirror. If it hadn't been so grave, it would have made Severus laugh at how ridiculous the boy looked laying sprawled on the floor with his legs at odd angles and his eyes wide and staring up at him. A glazed and confused expression making his features twist and his eyes blink slowly. 

Severus reached down and grabbed the boy's arm ignoring the boy's flinch at the contact. Pulling him up to his feet. He didn't release the boy as he walked the dazed child out of the room. Down into the dungeons and to his office. All the while Harry walked as if in a trance. Letting the child go once he'd entered his office and shut the door Severus took a seat. 

"Sit down Potter," Severus said sternly, though not unkindly. The boy just blinked at him. "Harry!" Severus thundered making the boy jump. Blink and then respond with spluttered apologizes and promises of being good and inquires of where here was. Sighing Severus said loudly, but calmly over the boy's frantic pleas. "Sit. Down. Potter." To his satisfaction the boy dropped silently into a chair and just stared at him. Summoning a hot chocolate with a wave of his wand Severus handed the beverage to the boy. Who curled his hands shakily around it. "Drink," he instructed the boy, "you're in shock it'll wear off in a moment or two. Now drink."

Harry slowly did as he was told. Severus could tell them boy had no idea what he was doing. Casting a glance at the clock he was glad that he still had four hours left before he needed to be down in his lab to continue his potion. 

"Now Mr. Potter tell me where you are?" Severus asked gently. His voice deliberately soft. The boy looked around uncertainly blinking. 

"You-your office si-sir," Harry stuttered out. 

"Very good, yes," Severus confirmed pleased that he had gotten the correct answer. Well any answer for that matter. The boy kept slowly sipping at his drink. "Now do you remember coming here?"

"Not r-real-really sir," Harry mumbled still stuttering. His teeth were chattering slightly. "Wh-what ha-happe-happened" Harry went on before Severus could ask his next question.

"I'll explain that in a moment. For now you need to know you are perfectly safe. You are still in shock so drink your cocoa. I need you to answer my questions as honestly and fully as you can. Can you do that for me?" Severus asked the boy. Harry nodded slowly. Shakily. "Use your words Potter," Severus chided gently. 

"Ye-Yes sir," Harry mumbled out. Drinking his chocolate again. The warmth was starting to seep into his body making him sleep. 

"Good, now do you remember where you were before coming to my office?" Severus went on. Noticing the slight change in the boy. 

"No. I was looking in a mirror though. I saw my parents. Sir are they real? Are they in the mirror? Are they alive?" Harry asked all at once. His chattering had subsided so he was able to speak without stuttering. Though his words were rushed and slurred. 

"I will explain everything Harry. Answer my questions first, then I will answer yours," Severus answered instead. He needed to gather his information first before he started explaining things to the boy. "Now, why were you there?"

"I didn't mean to be," Harry said in a rush. Adding quickly, "I'm really sorry sir. I won't do it again! I promise I'll be good! I will."

"Harry look at me," Severus said once Harry's eyes had dropped away from his gaze and he'd started looking into his nearly empty cup. Slowly Harry looked up. Noticing the change in name first. "Good. Now you are in trouble, but only because you were out of bed after curfew. Do you understand me?"

"Yes sir," Harry replied. Nodding vigorously. He knew he was in trouble. He was surprised however that he wasn't in trouble for looking at the mirror. "But..." He started but Severus interrupted him. 

"No but's Harry. I'm not going to discuss punishment until I understand the full story and you know why you are being punished. Do I make myself clear," Severus said. His tone light, but clear and unyielding. It was clear to the boy that Severus would not discuss this further. Harry only nodded, but when Severus didn't continue he whispered out.

"Yes sir," very quietly and started at the desk. 

"Harry look at me," Severus said patiently and waited for the boy to do so. "Good, now tell me why you were out of bed."

"Well I sent you a letter, and you didn't reply. So I thought maybe Ron was right, but the twins said that you were ill. Fred and George their Ron's brothers, but their so nice. I like them a lot. Their funny too. Well I didn't know what to think anymore and then everyone was being so loud. I just wanted quiet. I didn't know it was late. Well I didn't know what time it was actually. I just wanted to be alone and somewhere quiet. So I thought if I was invisible I could go to the library and do homework and no one would be there. I just wanted everyone to be quiet. And then I found it. The door was open and I didn't know why, but I had to see what was inside the room. It was like it was calling me. I know I shouldn't have gone in. I don't know why I did. Then I saw them. I just couldn't leave. I had to stay. They were all there. My... My family," Harry said bursting into tears as he said the words family. He wept so hard and heartbrokenly that Severus was worried. Standing up uncertain what to do for the boy Severus gently placed his hands on both of the boy's shoulders and knelt at his level so they were eye to eye. 

"Harry, listen to me. You didn't do anything wrong. Though you did break the rules, since you should have made sure it wasn't past curfew before you left. I can understand wanting to be alone and having some quiet. Two things I crave myself a lot of the times. As for the mirror. The room it is in is suppose to be locked and warded. How you gained entrance is beyond me, unless the Headmaster left it deliberately unlocked. I won't punish you for it, because I know what the mirror is like. It calls to everyone. That's part of it's magic," Severus explained gently. At those words Harry began to calm slightly. 

"The mirror doesn't show you anymore more or less then your hearts deepest desires. It shows you your family because it is what you most desire. It isn't real," Severus explained very carefully. "The mirror cannot give you your family back. They are not alive or trapped in the mirror." Severus explained further. He gently placed his hand over Harry's heart before he continued. "Your family lives here now Harry. Inside of you. You cannot see them, but they are there. They love you very much and they wouldn't want you to forget to live. Do you understand me?"

"Y-yes," the boy hiccuped. Severus ignored his lack of 'sir' at the end. The boy was not trying to be impolite or disrespectful. He was lost and afraid. 

"Good. Now you cannot go back to the mirror. It's dangerous. Many wizards and witches have waisted away in front of it. It won't do you any good to sit there and wish for something that cannot be. Do you understand?" Severus said gently. 

"Yeah," Harry mumbled sad. He knew that Severus was right. He just didn't know if he could do that. Severus himself know it would be hard for Harry to stay away. He wasn't immune to the magic of the mirror himself he knew what he would see if he looked into it. It was why he deliberately did not look into the mirror. He would have too keep an eye on Harry to insure the boy didn't go near the mirror again. 

"As for you punishment for being out after curfew you will serve detention with me on Saturday. Be in my office at nine am sharp," Severus said and Harry nodded. Satisfied he rose. "Come Potter I will walk you back to your dormitory. First however, put this back in your backpack, and do not use it to wander the corridors at night again or I will confiscate it," Severus said. He held out the invisibility cloak to Harry with a stern look. 

"You mean I get it back?" Harry asked confused. 

"Yes Mr. Potter, but under no circumstances are you to use it to wander the school at night. It does not give you permission to be out of bed after curfew. The next time you are caught out of bed with or without the cloak I am confiscating it. Do I make myself clear?" Severus repeated very carefully. 

"Yes sir," Harry said quickly. Grabbing the cloak and stuffing it into his bag. Which Severus had placed next to his chair. Severus rose and waited for Harry to do the same. Satisfied to note that the boy wasn't shaking when he got up. Vanishing the cup back to the kitchen Severus led the boy out of his office. Up to his dormitory where he made sure the boy got back in through the portray hole before heading back down to the dungeon. He had a little over two hours before he needed to finish his first round of potion brewing for this particular potion. 

He reached his office again grabbed a book and settled down to read while he waited. Pinching the bridge of his nose as a growing headache began to form. He still felt rather light headed even after his wandering away from the lab. He must be sicker then he first thought. He would of course have to address the boy's fears that he didn't want to be the boy's uncle. Sighing he put the book down and returned to his potion. 

Four hours later found Severus stumbling into his room. It was nearly four in the morning and he had classes at ten o'clock to teach the next day. Figuring if he skipped breakfast he could get some sleep before he had to be ready to teach and glad his first period was free. Setting the alarm to wake him at nine Severus fell asleep almost as soon as he hit the pillow.


	32. Triple Trouble Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has taken me three revamps to get it somewhere where it was passable. I'm very sorry for both the extra long length of this chapter and the slightly less then my usual standard of writing. I hope the chapter is still alright even if it isn't up to my usual par. I have decided to break up the chapter into three parts (Triple Trouble Part One, The Birthday Dinner, Triple Trouble Part Two) This made more sense then having it all in one big chapter. I hope that after this third revamp it is actually passable. 
> 
> I'm sorry for the lengthy delay in adding more chapters to this. I am trying to make sure that I update my stories quite often. However, my muse for this seem to be complicated at the moment. There are so many things that are happening and getting everything lined up with the timeline has been proving difficult. I have completely stopped trying to line up the timeline to the books. Forgive me for that.
> 
> There will be a few delays over the updating of my stories as I have to do some assignments for my classes before I can finish the revamping of this chapter completely hopefully it will not take too too long to do. So more updates should be coming more quickly. Hopefully anyways. Thank you all for your amazing patience with me.
> 
> Just a note I'm horrendous with writing Hagrid, so please forgive me that he's completely and horribly OOC. I just have no talent to write the character...

For the next couple of days Severus found himself beginning to get overwhelmed with his workload once more. Keeping tabs on Potter, Quirrell, another Order meeting and two Death Eater meetings in the span of the four days. Combined with his lessons, and the potions he needed to brew, both for Poppy and the Dark Lord's extremely complex potion. Severus was feeling rather wrung out. He'd already reached the fifth step to the Dark Lord's potion. In two more weeks it would be ready to trial. Of course he would then need to invent and brew the exact antidote to keep on himself at all times. His sleep was beginning to be far more affected by all the work he had piling up then he would like. This unfortunately meant that both his cold was getting worse and his mood was quickly turning dark. He had noticed his students were a lot more leery of earning detention from him at this point. He was after all quick to criticize and remove points for the tiniest of infraction. 

Severus was prowling the corridors in the darkness of night as he waited for the time to elapse on his potion. After having a heated conversation with Quirrell just a few minutes before. He was making his way back towards his dungeons and his lab. To his great surprise he did not see any students out of bed at this late hour. He would be greatly enjoyed giving out detentions and removing points. Unfortunately he could not do this. Grumbling annoyed beyond measure he entered his rooms and had just been about to settled down to grade essays for the remainder of the wait. A knock on his door however prevented this. Sighing he called out. 

Albus and Minerva walked into his office. Severus quirked a brow at them both. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"We need to talk to you Severus," Albus began. Severus grew weary of the tone of voice Albus used. There was something in it that made Severus very uncomfortable and unhappy. 

"Go on?" He indicated. His statement turning into a questions. 

"First let us have tea," Albus said cheerfully. 

"Headmaster I do not have time for this. There is less then half an hour before I must return to my lab or I will be forced to restart this potion all over again. It has taken me far too long already to make and I do not fancy another round of torture," Severus growled annoyed. 

"I see, well then let us get straight to the point. I need you to speak to Harry about the Mirror of Erised," Albus said smoothly. 

"As you are well aware Headmaster I have spoken to Harry four days ago," Severus responded. At a loss for why the man was asking him to do something he'd already done. 

"It is my belief that he has been back to the Mirror since you spoke to him," Minerva said calmly. 

"Why do you not speak to him about it Minerva? He is in your house after all," Severus demanded. 

"I have tried, he will not speak to me about it," Minerva said sadly. 

"Why do you not just move the Mirror Headmaster? Or increase the protection on the room instead of leaving it unlocked and unwarded?" Severus turned those accusing eyes on Dumbledore. 

"He will seek to find it, in any even it will be moved Monday evening. Minerva, Pomona and I are going to be finalizing the last of the spells that will guard the stone. I require you to be there as well. As for Harry, he will need to be made aware that he cannot seek the mirror out where it will be placed," Albus explained, not unkindly. 

"I take it then you are finished your research with it?" Severus inquired politely. 

"Oh yes, it is a shame that Harry had to discover the mirror while I was working on it. Though now that he has, I believe you should speak to him about it," Albus pressed. 

"Why not simply punish him for his wrongdoings and be done with it?" Severus said darkly. Frankly it was Albus's fault that Potter had discovered the mirror and he was getting annoyed. He had enough to be getting on with he did not need the Potter boy's obsession with the Mirror to deal with as well. He hated even thinking of the mirror. He glared darkly at Albus. 

"I have punished him for his mistakes, as have many other teachers. In four days alone Potter has earned five detentions. He has lost numerous house points, yet none of this seems to help in the least," Minerva explained. 

"I will have a word with him. Though I believe if his behaviour continues it will be time to get Lucius involved. After all Lucius is to be the boy's guardian," Severus stated firmly. 

"That reminds me, dear boy I received your letter. You really think it necessary that you should referee the next Quidditch game?" Albus inquired. Minerva frowned darkly. 

"After the last game it is clear someone is cursing Potter's broom. I was lucky that the meddling kids managed to knock Quirrell over before they attacked me. Had they not Potter would not have survived the fall," Severus said simply. "We both know that he is response, there is no need to look at me like that Minerva," Severus growled darkly at her accusing look. 

"I have noticed he is acting rather strangely of late," Albus said thoughtfully. 

"You've only now just noticed this?" Severus asked incredulous. 

"Well he is acting more strange of late, then he did at the start of term," Albus elaborated. 

"Regardless, have you ever refereed a match before Severus?" Minerva asked lips pressed into a thin line of disapproval. 

"Just because I do not enjoy flying Minerva does not mean I know nothing of Quidditch," Severus answered evasively. 

"Very well, will Lucius be here for the match?" Albus asked before Minerva could speak. 

"Yes, Lucius wishes to bring both boys to the restaurant with us," Severus said disgruntled. He did not like to think about his birthday. He would have rather not gone at all. Though it would appear he had no choice in the matter. 

"Ah yes the match is on your birthday, will the boys be returning in the morning then?" Albus inquired.

"No we will all return that evening, I will escort both boys to their dormitories as they will return after curfew," Severus responded. Equally as unhappy. "Now I really must be going. If you wish to speak with me further I can come up to your office when I am finished for the night. Though it will be quite early in the morning."

"No need Severus, get some rest," Albus replied and left with Minerva. Severus sighed. Rose and headed down to his private lab. 

The last few ingredients and stirring process were relatively quick and soon Severus had the first half of the potion cooling in a large flask on his worktable. He regarded it critically. This part of the potion was the typical pain inducing variant. It had been calculatedly slowed down in order to have a much longer lasting affect. It was thus a slow acting pain potion. Now he needed to dial up the pain it would cause. For this he would use a very strong pain inducing potion. Similar to the one he had just created on this one would be much stronger. With a binding agent he would combine both. Allow for intense pain for the first hour before tapering down to the long twenty four hours of pain the Dark Lord desired. 

By the end of the evening he had both potions in separate flasks and would be ready tomorrow to create the binding agent prior to combining the two potions. As it was already two in the morning and Severus was almost unable to keep his eyes open he stumbled out of his lab and to bed. 

The next morning saw Severus laying in bed feeling absolutely miserable. His head was pounding horribly. His cough had worsened and a slight fever was rising again. He was sore and aching. His joints stiff. Damn. It would appear the cold had finally taken on a vicious streak. He would need to spend the weekend sleeping. Luckily for him it was Sunday and he could do just that. 

He spent most of the morning sleeping after taking some potions to hopefully rid himself of this awful cold. By lunchtime he was feeling marginally better, though he still did not leave his rooms. After a quick lunch of soup he ended up in his lab working on the binding agent. It only took him two hours to complete it and he had the two potions combined. Satisfied and resigned that he would achieve nothing more on this for today he returned to bed. 

He woke up on Monday with only a slight residual headache. Still he took all the potions he'd been taking to combat the cold before going to breakfast. Minerva and Albus kept looking at him worriedly when he sat down. He sighed. This he did not fancy.

After his first class he penned a note to Potter and sent it off with a Gryffindor prefect. Even if the dunderhead read the note first, it sounded more like instructions to a detention then an invitation for tea. The headmaster had dropped by shortly after to see if Severus was alright. After being reassured that he was perfectly fine. He had just been suffering with a cold yesterday and thus had remained in his rooms the man had informed him that the papers for Lucius's guardianship of Harry were ready. They would need both Lucius and Harry to sign the documents. After some discussion it was agreed the they would see to the papers at the match in a few weeks. 

When the day finally came to an end Severus was sitting in his office grading the stack of essays he'd had piling up on his desk. They had an hour before dinner. He was making good headway when a hesitant knock sounded. 

"Enter," he called and was not surprised to see Potter walking in. Closing the door behind him. He indicated the seat in front of him and the boy walked to it. 

"Do you know why you are here?" Severus asked. 

"No sir," Harry answered hesitantly. 

"I have had both your head of house and the headmaster request I speak to you about your adventures with the Mirror. It seems that they have noticed a change in your studies since you started visiting it. Tell me Potter have you been sneaking off to see the Mirror since I told you not to?" Severus went on.

"N-no sir," Harry said. 

"Do not lie to me Potter, I cannot stand liars," Severus growled dangerously. "Now tell me the truth."

"I had to sir. It's the only way I can see them!" Harry said almost desperately pleading with the man. 

"I realize that Harry, but as I have told you. They are not really there. You realize that you have failed three essays alone in my class since you've been back this term?" Severus told the boy. He saw Harry pale. 

"But.." Harry began.

"No buts Harry. Listen very carefully. The mirror is dangerous. The more time you spend look at it. The less you will be able to concentrate. The more time you spend looking into the mirror the greater it's pull on you will be. You need to forget about it. You have to move on. Do you understand?" Severus spoke very clearly, though his voice was cold and harsh.

"Yes sir, I just don't think I can resist the pull of it," Harry admitted softly. 

"We are moving the mirror tonight. Why don't I make arrangements for you to visit Hagrid tonight with your friends. This way you will not be tempted to sneak out and see where it is being moved to. After tonight you are not to go looking for it. Or I will write to Lucius and he will come and insure you do not. Do I make myself clear?" Severus asked.

"Yes sir, I'd really like to visit Hagrid. It's been a long time since I've seen him," Harry admitted. 

"Very well, go and tell your friends that you will all be going down to Hagrid's with me after dinner. I will arrange everything else with Hagrid in the meantime. Off you go now," Severus said, not unkindly. 

As he watched Potter rush out of his office he sighed. That boy was going to make his head explode. Rubbing the soreness between his eyes with long fingers he sighed again. Rising he walked down towards Hagrid's hut. With a swift knock he waited for the man to exit. 

"Professor Snape!" Hagrid said startled as he pushed himself out of his hut. He looked at Severus with an almost guilty expression. Severus frowned at the half-giant with a worried look. 

"Hagrid," Severus said politely. He was glad the man didn't invite him inside. He always got a horrible headache when he was cooped up in Hagrid's hut. There was just something in there that made his head pound horribly. Or maybe it was just Hagrid's giant dog fang that did him in. With the current headache he wasn't sure he'd be able to stand being trapped inside. With the windows closed it seemed even worse to him. 

"What brings you down 'ere?" Hagrid asked concerned. Severus didn't usually come to his hut unless it was urgent. Or necessary. 

"I would like Potter, Malfoy, Nott, Granger and the Weasley boy to visit you tonight. I will be bringing them down after dinner. If you could bring them to their dormitory just before curfew I would greatly appreciate it," Severus said sternly. He knew that by sending Draco and Theodore he would insure that Ron didn't make trouble for Harry and at the moment keeping his godson preoccupied about why Harry went to see Hagrid would be better then Draco landing in detention because he'd snuck out to follow his brother. Severus knew that there was no way that Draco wouldn't notice him taking the three Gryffindors out to Hagrids after dinner. Draco was too observant for that. 

"Of course, but why?" Hagrid asked confused. It was an odd request for Severus to make. 

"Potter has been having some difficulties and he could use a bit of a distraction, I presume as he took a liking to you that you wouldn't mind providing one?" Severus informed the man. Deciding against mentioning anything regarding the mirror. The half-giant tended to talk far too much. 

"Of course I would! I'll see to it then," Hagrid said and when Severus turned to leave went back into his hut. Something had seemed odd in Hagrid's unusual behaviour, but Severus didn't have the time or inclination to find out what. If Dumbledore couldn't corral the half-giant's dangerous animal tendencies it wasn't his job to do so. After all he rather fancied his limbs intact.

* * *

Once he returned inside after delivering the five children to Hagrid, Severus quickly made his way up to Albus's office. He was rather interested in getting this done. Once he entered the room he found Pomona holding a large potted plant in a containment spell. Minerva looking smug holding a closed chest set. Severus had already placed the parchment and bottles of potion into his robe pocket. He was ready as well. Albus rose and without anymore hesitation led the way to the third floor corridor. 

They walked into the room with the large dog and Severus took a step back hesitating. The growls of the dog unnerved him. Dumbledore charmed a cello to continuously play a lovely melody and they all descended the trap door quickly. Severus and Albus made their way through the various rooms leading towards the location of the stone. Some already held enchantments, but Albus had no issue getting through them. Pomona stayed in the main room. Minerva was left shortly thereafter and Severus was left in the last room before the one containing the stone. Albus went on alone. 

Setting up the bottles in a line on the table on the far wall took no time at all. Severus placed everything perfectly. Leaving the parchment just before them. Taking one bottle out of his pocket and his wand he walked to the first doorway. He cast a fire charm. Poured the contents of the vial and the fire turned purple before vanishing into the floor. He repeated the same procedure at the other door where the fire turned black before vanishing. Once he step out of the room completely he cast a final charm that would activate both fires the moment someone cross the threshold. Satisfied he headed back to the main chamber. Ignoring everyone else. He was ready to return to his lab, though he knew he couldn't until he was done this.

It didn't take long for everyone else to finish and soon Albus was leading back to his office for tea. 

Tea with Albus and the other two didn't last nearly as long as Severus had feared. Now he found himself beginning the final stage to his potion for the dark lord. This would be the last part of the potion. The poison. He had worked out the best way to incorporate it into the bonded potion. It only took two hours before he was done and had to leave the cauldron to simmer for seventy three hours. Casting a series of charms over the cauldron Severus was able to retire for the night.

* * *

Meanwhile once Harry and his friends had entered Hagrid's hut they soon found it a slightly bit awkward. Ron and Hermione were sitting on one side of Harry while Draco and Theo sat on the other. The only reason Ron was keeping his mouth shut was the look of sadness that was on Harry's face. On the walk down here everyone of the four others could tell something was wrong with Harry. They had seen him become distant and withdrawn, but now it seemed like was lost in his own world. Even as they all sat down at the table Harry was just staring at the table without seeing anything. 

He was thinking about the mirror and his parents. He wanted to go see his mom and dad again and he wanted to cry because he couldn't see them. He knew he couldn't cry. Not in front of Ron, Theo and Hermione. He wouldn't care if Draco saw because Draco knew how he felt about the mirror. He'd confided in Draco. 

It didn't surprise him when Draco took his hand and gave it a squeeze to get his attention. Harry looked over at his friend. Draco was looking sadly at him and Harry wondered if he knew what Harry was thinking.

"It's ok to miss them you know Harry," Draco said in a whisper hopping no one else heard. He could see Hagrid had, but Ron was complaining loudly about the heat demanding for a window to be open. 

"I can't Ron," Hagrid said for the thousandth time in less then five minutes.

"Why?" Theodore finally asked getting irritated by this constant back and forth.

"I can't tell you that," Hagrid said evasively. Casting a worried look at the strong fire in the hearth. All five of the children looked over at the hearth wondering what was causing Hagrid to look there. 

"Is that?" Draco asked startled. 

"A dragon egg?" Ron said in utter shock. 

"Yah, but you can't tell no one!" Hagrid said desperately. 

"Hagrid it's illegal!" Ron spluttered. "You can't have a dragon egg!"

"Were at a school Hagrid, it's dangerous!" Theo said with wide startled eyes.

"A real dragon?" Harry asked in awe. Interacting for the first time since he'd been brought down to Hagrid's. 

"Oh nonsense, he's just a baby. He can't hurt anyone," Hagrid said brushing the matter aside. "You know what, why don't you all come back when he's about to hatch?"

"That would be wicked!" Ron, Harry and Draco said all at once. 

"I'm not so sure," Hermione said and Theo echoed her with a nod. 

"Come on it'll be great!" Harry said looking enthusiastically at the two of them. 

"Oh alright," Hermione finally said sighing. Unable to resist the pleading in Harry's eyes.

"Sure," Theo agreed easily. Relieved that Harry seemed to be coming out of whatever had been distracting him. If it meant so much to his friend he'd be there. 

"Awesome," Harry said grinning. 

"Alright then I'll let you all know when the time comes. Harry I'll send you a latter, you can tell the others," Hagrid stated as if that closed the matter. "I better take you all back to your common rooms now, it's getting dark out. I hope you won't be telling anyone about this?" He asked worriedly. 

"We won't!" Harry promised happily. With that they all started to head down to the castle together Hagrid walking them inside. They happened upon Minerva who was walking down from the Headmasters office and offered to take her Gryffindors up to their dormitories.

* * *

As he watched Potter and his friends over the next few days Severus became aware of a few things. One the trio were spending far too much time in the library and two they were going to see Hagrid far too regularly. Something was definitely up. As the week grew longer and things seemed to get more complicated Severus grew more concerned. What concerned him most of all was that Theo and Draco also seemed to be spending far too much time down at Hagrid's. Something he had not expected. 

The trio were spending an insane amount of time at Hagrid's. Almost neglecting their school work again. Severus had seen a decline in Potter's performance in his classes again. This was getting out of hand. However, no matter how many detentions or how many points he lost the boy still didn't seem to be working any harder. He had even stopped coming to his study sessions on Saturday mornings. Severus had tried to talk with the boy, but it had proved fruitless. The child was hiding something and he was growing annoyed. Luckily for him Draco knew better then to neglect his work. Although the two Slytherins were not spending as much time as the others with Hagrid and definitely still avoided the library unless necessary, there was still something not quite right with their odd behaviour. He was definitely worried.

When January 9th rolled around Severus was already contemplating calling Lucius to speak with the boys. However, today answers would come. At least he hoped. Maybe Lucius could speak with the boys. After all the man had a way to make his point. Sighing Severus was not looking forwards to the Quidditch game that day. He really did not like flying. Why he'd put himself in this position was beyond him. Sighing he got ready for the day.

* * *

Severus and Lucius were walking back inside after the match. Severus still feeling the after affects of flying. He had always hated flying. Nothing had changed on that front. At least it had been short. Though nearly being hit by Potter had done nothing for his state of mind. He was in a very fowl mood as they neared the entrance hall. 

"Severus are you alright? You look a little pale?" Albus asked as he met up with them. 

"I'm fine," Severus stated in an irritated voice.

"Minerva will be sending Harry up to my office in a few moments, if you two would follow me," Albus said after a long moment of staring at Severus. It was clear he wouldn't say anything more. Lucius and Severus followed Albus up the spiral staircase and into his office. Taking the offered seats at his desk. Severus leaned back observing the headmaster. 

"Might I request that we move this meeting along quickly? I have reservations to keep," Lucius coldly informed Dumbledore. 

"Of course," Albus replied casually, "tea? Lemon drop?" The old man said offering the bowl of sweats. Both men declined, but accepted the tea. A moment later tea appeared on the desk and all three man were sipping it while they waited for Harry to arrive. Albus handed Lucius the guardianship papers for the man to read. Severus was not going to talk to Lucius in front of Albus that was for sure. In a few moments Harry walked through the headmasters door and came wearily over. "Harry, my boy, take a seat. Would you care of a lemon drop? or some tea?" 

"No thank you headmaster," Harry replied. Having had some sweats up in the common room and knowing he'd soon be going off to a restaurant with Lucius and Severus, not wanting to spoil his appetite he refused both.

"Down to business then, Harry your guardianship papers have come in, if you still want Lucius and Narcissa to take you then both you and Lucius need to sign these. Lucius you will need to assign a new Godfather for Harry to insure that the guardianship doesn't get transferred to the ministry."

Lucius regarded Harry waiting for the boy to sign. Harry smiled and took the quill quickly signing where Albus had indicated. Lucius had already read through the document. After Harry finished signing Lucius took the quill and added his signature. Flipping the parchments until the form for who Harry's Godfather would be he put in Severus's name. Signed and handed the paper over to Severus who signed it in turn. Once that was done the stack of papers vanished already being filed at the ministry. 

"Is that all Dumbledore?" Lucius asked politely. 

"Yes, I believe you all have reservations to keep, have a good day," Albus said folding his hands on his desk his eyes twinkling happily. As everyone rose to leave Albus added, "Happy Birthday Severus," he said holding out a small bright yellow parcel. Severus frowned but took it. 

"Do you wish me to open it now?" Severus asked. A little taken aback at receiving a present directly from the headmaster. He knew the men sent him one every year. Just usually it showed up with Minerva's on his coffee table. A few other staff members also seemed to remember his birthday and sent him presents as well. It always surprised him. Today was no different. 

"Of course, my boy," Albus said smiling. Severus nodded and undid the wrapping with the care he always took revealing a large book in his hand. He gasped as he read the title. -Rare potions and their alternative uses.- It was a book he had always wanted, but it was rare and hard to find. 

"Thank you Headmaster," Severus said giving him a rare smile. 

"I thought you'd like it, now off you go before you're late," Albus said with a truly wide smile. 

Severus nodded, pocketing the book. He followed Lucius and Harry out of the room and down towards the dungeons. He left Lucius and Harry in his private rooms and went to the Slytherin Common Room coming back moments later with Draco.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm making assumptions on the days here. It might seem like it's a little off at times. I'm presuming that term started on January 2nd. (I am very bad with the layout of days so I'm very sorry if I've messed up how many days things are taking or time. Just ignore those mistakes please and enjoy the story.)


	33. The Birthday Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING:** Contains mild torture (probably not worth a warning, but I'm paranoid so here it is). (You guessed it more Voldemort)

Severus exited the floo into Malfoy Manor. Narcissa was evidently waiting for them as she stood in the floo room with her cloak already on and a smile on her face. She was just releasing her son from a tight hug before turning to Harry and holding out her arms. Lucius set Harry down and he ran straight at Narcissa and hugged her tightly. Severus dusted himself off before straightening up. Draco grabbed his hand and started pulling him out of the room causing Severus to frown at the eager and excited boy. Now what was he up to. Sighing Severus allowed his godson to eagerly pull him towards the living room. A small laugh from Narcissa told him that they had more then a dinner planned for him and he wasn't sure if he should be amused or terrified by this prospect. He settled on a mixture of both. Narcissa, Harry and Lucius followed them down to the living room. 

Once they entered the room Severus saw a large box sitting on the glass table in the centre and frowned. Wondering what that could possibly be. It had only been four years since Lucius had learned of his birthday. Of course the man had been trying to figure it out since the first year they met. Severus had never let it slip to anyone. He point blank refused to celebrate the day. There were reasons. Reasons both Lucius and Albus had discovered the hard way after surprising him with a birthday party. To say it had been a disaster would be an understatement. However it had led them to understand exactly why Severus hated birthdays. From then on Lucius and Narcissa had decided that a nice dinner out at a restaurant was the way to go. It seemed to be the perfect solution. It had only been in recent years, two or three years now that Severus had started receiving birthday presents. Only since Albus had let it slip to the staff. Lucius and Narcissa of course had gotten him something every year, as had Albus, but now he received a nice pile of gifts. At first he'd been taken aback and reminded of why he hated birthdays by that. Now however he didn't mind it as much. Though he still found it shocking. 

He stood staring at the box with an expression of sorrow and a hint of pain lingering in his eyes and breaking through his otherwise cold emotionless mask. Harry had no idea what was going on and neither did Draco. This was the first year Draco even knew the date of Severus's birthday, let alone being allowed to come along. Draco had known his godfather for as long as he was alive and he could see that the man was highly uncomfortable. He was curious, both of them were. 

"Go on Sev, open it," Narcissa said gently. Laying her hand on his shoulder. Knowing full well the he wouldn't unless pressed to do so. Slowly he approached the box. Removing the paper delicately as to not rip a single piece. Exposing the engraved wooden box beneath. His fingers ran over the beautifully carved redwood. It was so stunning. He felt his breath catch at the sight. He knew what this was. Slowly opening the latch he was no surprised as he pulled the lid up to find it full of small vials and in the bottom larger vials. All of them filled with rare ingredients. Things like (phoenix tears, unicorn horns and other such rare items that were extremely hard to come by). The cost of something like this was astronomical. He whispered out soft thank you's to the four people in the room. Awe struck by the magnitude of the gift. 

"I told you he'd like it," Lucius said to his wife with a wicked grin. 

"Oh of that I had no doubt," Narcissa said laughing. 

"This is wicked. Where did you and dad get all this?" Draco asked staring at the box with Harry from where they stood next to Severus. 

"Well Harry asked Hagrid for some of the things that are in there, I spoke to Dumbledore about the phoenix stuff, and the rest your father acquired from abroad," Narcissa said proudly. 

"It is exceedingly hard to acquire the majority of these items," Severus responded. Looking over to Lucius. "How did you ever manage to get so many?" 

"I have my ways, surely you know this?" Lucius said evasively. Severus laughed. 

"Oh that I know," Severus responded with a wide smile. 

"Really though it was Cissa and Harry's idea," Lucius state mater of fact. 

"I knew what Dumbledore was getting you as he asked me if I thought it would be a suitable gift and to see if you already had it, when I went to talk to him about the phoenix feathers, I knew then that this would come in handy. Knowing you you'll be playing around with those potions in no time. Well now you should have all of the rare ingredients you need," Narcissa stated. "Harry here figured out that if he talked to Hagrid you could get you some of the ingredients seeing as Hagrid cares for a lot of the creatures that these come from in the forest. He was more then happy to help out."

"This is truly amazing," Severus said closing the box. He locked the latch and gave Narcissa another look of gratitude before his featured returned to their normal neutral look. He continued on saying softly, "I presume we should head out, I do believe Lucius mentioned that we have reservations to keep. It wouldn't do to be late."

"Yes, come, you boy's are going to apperate with Lucius, I will take you Severus as I am not telling you were we are going," Narcissa instructed. Draco and Harry quickly went to Lucius and Severus walked to Narcissa's side. He took hold of her arm and watched as Lucius pulled both Harry and Draco close to his side holding them to him tightly. Both boys clinging to his arm. In moments they had apparated to a busy street in a rather upscale part of a wizard village. A large and rather expensive looking establishment sat directly before them. Narcissa led the way into the building followed by Lucius and Severus. The two boys quickly following them. The inside was richly furnished and looked cozy and elegant. As soon as Narcissa spoke to the woman at the podium up front they were ushered upstairs to a private dining room. 

Severus was glad that it was not heavily decorated. Instead a large and polished oak table sat in the centre of the room. Five chairs were set around the table. A chandelier hung directly over it. Severus was led to the head of the table by Narcissa. he took his seat. Lucius sat on his right and Narcissa on his left. The two boy's sat across from each other with Draco next to Lucius and Harry next to Narcissa. Evidently Narcissa had already ordered their meal because a full three course dinner was served. 

Light conversation about the boy's schooling, Quidditch and Narcissa's shopping trips filled the silent room as they all ate dinner. It was wonderful and Severus found himself relaxing. He enjoyed these quiet dinners. There wasn't any fuss. The food was always excellent and desert was cake. Even though Severus only ate a very small piece. Which didn't surprise anyone. Harry had learned quickly at Christmas that Severus didn't like anything sweat. The other's knew it all too well. Probably the only reason he even had small piece was because Narcissa always made a fuss if he didn't eat his own birthday cake. Severus was not in the mood to deal with anyone fussing about anything. He was still finding himself overworked and far to exhausted to deal with petty things. He would need to figure out how to get more sleep soon or he would find himself in serious trouble. He had to be spy after all. A tried spy tended to be a non-careful spy, and a non-careful spy was a dead spy. Yes he had to work on getting more sleep and soon. If only he didn't need to still figure out the damned antidote for the Dark Lord's most infuriating poison, he'd be fine. Of course he still had one more stage to the potion even after the poison was bounded to the other now completed potion. He needed to add in his secret mixture that would make regular antidotes ineffective. First however he needed the original to device an antidote and then he could combine the antidote with his specific counter potion that would allow the antidote to actually be affective. What a complicated mess this was. No wonder he was so tired from just one complex experiment. 

Severus leaned back in his chair watching the others finishing up desert, having found himself relaxing and enjoying the evening. The break had been just what he'd needed to unwind. Finding it a perfect way to recollect his thoughts and gather his mind back into a clear focus. As he'd been eating he'd been able to sort through everything that had been going on and catalogue where he should be focusing his efforts. Creating a stabile order to his thoughts, worries and responsibilities. It was always how he worked best. The chaos that his mind had become over the last month had been running him down. The new clear devision of his thoughts and prioritization he'd been allowed to perform on his responsibilities while only half listening to the regular chit chat had been soothing.

"You look much more relaxed then earlier today Severus," Lucius commented idly. Wondering just what the change in his friend was. 

"I find I have enjoyed this outing," Severus responded neutrally. It was the easiest answer to give to the unasked question. He couldn't discuss the real reasons why he was feeling much more relaxed and his body was not reflecting the tension. Had they been in private sipping a firewhiskey Severus might have confided in Lucius. In all likelihood he would have answered openly at the very least if not completely confiding. Out in public his answers were candid. Though from the twitch of Lucius's eyebrow and faint smirk Severus knew the other had figure out what he meant. 

"I'm glad," Narcissa replied beaming. She of course took his meaning at face value. Which he was also glad as he'd meant it as a compliment to her. She always tried her best to find a restaurant that catered to his unique tastes and lived up to her high expectations. So far she'd been doing fantastically well in her choices Severus had to note. 

"I think it is time that we retired to the Manor for a drink before we take the children back," Lucius suggested as everyone had finished with their meals. The conversation had died and the two boys were getting restless of sitting at the table. 

"Uncle Severus will you play a game of wizards chest with me?" Draco asked. He took every opportunity to play chest against Severus. He had yet to come close to winning a game, but he learned so much from just playing with the man that he always craved playing. Lucius chucked at this. Knowing Draco could never resist asking. 

"Of course Dragon," Severus replied with a small smile. He knew Draco loved to watch and study how he played. He slowed down his movements and even sometimes explained why he did certain things to help the boy learn. Severus played the game for the strategy of it. He didn't really care if he won, though it was an added bonus. He could still remember when he'd used the game as a focus. Sitting in the common room working on various skills. How to focus on the game while still catching everything going on around him, without either becoming overly focused on the game or overly distracted. It had been, as with most things, a skill to master. A way to further focus his mind. 

"Wicked!" Draco exclaimed turning quickly to Harry and declaring, "No one ever beats Uncle Sev, but if you play against him, you learn so much about all kinds of things! You really should play against him sometime Harry, he's way better then I am."

"I can barely keep up with you Draco, I don't think Uncle Severus would enjoy playing against me," Harry said softly. 

"I am willing to play against anyone who is willing to learn Harry, I would enjoy the game as much with you as I do with Draco," Severus said truthfully. Since he did not play to win, but for the pure intellectual challenge of strategic thinking he enjoyed even playing with basic players who'd just learned the game. Severus had watched Harry and Draco play at Christmas and although Harry lost to Draco almost all the time unless Draco got distracted, he was not a bad player. Harry lacked focus. If Severus could guide him on how to focus then the boy would pick up the game much quicker. "I have an idea. Harry, why don't you team up with me while we play against Draco. This way you can learn more of the game?" 

Severus watched as various emotions crossed Harry's face. For a few long moments the boy didn't seem to know what to make of the suggestion. Severus waited patiently for his response watching intently the internal struggle in the boy. "Really?" Harry asked at last. 

"Yes," Severus answered. Knowing the boy was asking if he really wanted to do that. The boy had to learn to be more articulate with his question. Hopefully Lucius and Narcissa could teach him that when they started to teach him proper etiquette and decorum. 

"Alright then since that is settled, let us get going," Narcissa said rising. She held out her hand and Harry quickly took it. Lucius and Draco followed after Severus as Narcissa led the way downstairs and back out. They apparated to the manor with three loud pops. The walk down through the garden and to the house was quite pleasant. Severus always loved to walk through the gardens. 

As they settled down in the lounge and drinks were handed out Severus thought of something as Draco set up the chest board. "Harry," Severus called the boy over from where he was helping Draco set up. Harry came over and stood facing Severus knowing the man didn't like to talk across a room. "I want to teach you something before we start. It's going to help you focus your mind and might even help you with your nightmares." He saw Narcissa cast a look at him. Wondering what he'd thought of. 

"Really?" Harry asked desperate for anything that would help his nightmares. At Christmas he could remember how Severus or Narcissa or something both of them. Even Lucius on occasion had come to his room to wake him from nightmares. It had embarrassed him, but he'd been so grateful for the comfort he'd never known before. He had missed that while in Hogwarts. He'd been alone again to deal with them and he really wished he'd had one or all three adults to help him. 

"Yes, I do believe so," Severus said. Hearing the boy's unspoken hope in his words. "Come take a seat beside him. Draco you can join us if you wish to," Severus added seeing Draco looking intently at them. Draco didn't need telling twice. He always loved it when Severus taught him things. Severus though strict and stern in his teaching method always had something interesting to teach. Though Draco didn't often show it he was quite excited to learn. 

"I want both of you to close your eyes," Severus said as both boys settled down on either side of him. "Now picture an object inside your mind. Don't speak, just imagine it in your mind." Severus instructed. Waiting a few moments to allow the boys to do as he'd told them. He could see from the concentration on their faces that they were doing as he'd asked. Smirking he continued on with his instruction, "now just like for transfiguration to work, this needs you to focus on every detail of your object. Start layering details on the object. Let everything else just fade away until nothing but your object remains. Use all of your sense. Sight, what does it look like exactly? Taste, does it have a taste? Feel, what is it's texture? Smell, does it have an odour? Sound, does it make any kind of sound?" Severus knew these were very basic questions. It was after all a starting point, he knew as they practiced more on it the questions would become more complex. He watched them silently for a few moments and then finally spoke again. "Now, to see how you're doing I'm going to use Legilimensy on you. It won't hurt at all. It'll just show me your surface thoughts. When you're ready open your eyes and look at me. Focus only on your object and nothing else. Make your object as real as you possibly can." 

Severus wasn't surprised that it was Draco who met his gaze first. He was pretty certain his Godson would be able to do a decent pass at this. Draco had been raised by two strong mind wizards after all. Himself and Lucius. Though his skills in both the hardest mental arts were far superior to Lucius, Lucius was far stronger in the mental arts then most wizards. Draco had been receiving lessons on how to clear his mind since he was old enough to understand the concept. So these exercises were not new to the boy. He was pleased to see progress with Draco's focus, there was less background clutter in the boy's surface thoughts. His object was much more focused. "Well done Draco," Severus said and the boy blinked grinning up at him. Harry opened his eyes and found Severus's gaze a few moments later. 

Severus wasn't surprise to find that Harry's focus was no where near Draco's, what did surprise him was how for a first attempt Harry had a decent attempt. There was a lot of chaos and others thoughts drifting through, but the object he was focusing on would yield an almost perfect result in transfiguration. "Well done Harry," Severus said and was rewarded by a beaming child. "If you keep practicing this eventually you're mind will be completely clear. This is the first step to something called Occlumency. Occlumency is a way to shield your mind. It's a lot more complex then that, and something you will have to learn. However, these basic steps will help you to be able to clear your mind before you go to sleep. That will prevent most of the nightmares. I would like you to practice every night. Can you do that?" 

"Yes sir!" Harry declared excitedly. 

"Good," Severus said. "Now let's play wizards chest. Harry come sit next to me. I want you to tell me what you would do if you were playing and I will tell you why that is a good idea or a bad idea. I will also attempt to explain why I am doing what I am doing." With that said Severus and Harry went to sit facing Draco across the board. Draco had chosen to play white as he always did when playing against Severus. 

For the next two hours they played a game of chest and both boys found themselves enthralled in everything that Severus saw from one simple move. Narcissa was working on a needlepoint she had started a Christmas, it was almost done now. Lucius on the other sat in an armchair watching the game. Lucius was always fascinated how different Severus was in the Manor then anywhere else. There was a side to the man that genuinely loved to teach. It had startled Lucius at first, because Severus adamantly disliked children. He couldn't blame the man, he taught perhaps the hardest course there was to teach. Severus's personality was also something that would clash greatly with children, especially those who didn't take his lessons seriously. It always intrigued Lucius how brilliantly strategic Severus could think, while being utterly useless at politics. 

The game lasted far longer then it usually did, but with two children asking him questions it took a long time before moves. Severus was quite surprised how Harry was improving with every move they made. In the end Severus won the match, but it had been close. It helped that Severus had been helping Draco as much as Harry. The boy's were currently determined to play another game and Severus left them to it. Going to sit next to Lucius. 

"I had not expected you to be so interested in watching," Severus stated. Lucius was after all the guy who'd taught Severus to play. They were always evenly matched when they played and Severus lost as much as he won. 

"I always wondered at your lack of competitiveness," Lucius admitted. "I believe I have finally figured it out." 

"Are you going to enlighten me?" Severus drawled. A smirk curving his features. 

"It is the intellectual challenge you relish," Lucius stated simply. 

"As with anything, what is the point of winning if it is not to better ones self?" Severus questioned. This was an age old debate between the two. Severus firmly believed that all competition was only a useful tool in bettering ones self. While Lucius sought to win. Regardless of what it took. Severus never got an answer for his question as both of them hissed in quick gasps of pain. The Dark Mark burned. Severus pressed his right hand over the mark almost unconsciously. Growling low in his throat. Lucius had already risen. He was striding from the room quickly. 

Severus rose and spoke quickly to Narcissa who was watching them both with a worried expression. "Take the children back to school, use Dumbledore's floo. Tell him what has happened," Severus instructed.

"Keep him safe Sev," Narcissa said rising and walking with him out of the door. "Keep yourself safe too," she added making sure he knew she wanted them both back safe. "Will you return here before going back?" She inquired.

"I cannot," Severus replied. 

"Then I'll be by tomorrow to bring your gift over," Narcissa said. Knowing that would give her an excuse to check on him. 

"I will expect you at 7pm then," Severus replied and hurried from the house. Down the steps and to the gate. Lucius was already waiting. Standing in his death eater robes with his mask in hand. Severus pulled out his robe. Put it on. Both slipped on their masks and apparated using the mark to guide them. They found themselves in a graveyard. Severus shivered slightly. He hated graveyards. The last time he had been in one had been to witness the horrible ritual that had led to the man's return. They hurried to take their place. Severus noticed that only five people were present. Those from the inner circle who were not in Azkaban, though some of the inner circle were indeed missing. 

"My friends," the Dark Lord hissed unpleasantly. "Ten long years we have waited to be reunited with our brothers and sisters, tomorrow they will be free! For tonight I have sent faithful Death Eaters to break them out of that awful place. They will be rewarded for their faithful service."

Severus wondered what this was about. He knew the Dark Lord had been trying to remain inconspicuous and unnoticed by the ministry. Why make such an open move now. Unless other things were coming into play. 

"Soon the stone will be mine. I have been assured that all is now ready," the Dark Lord declared pleased with himself. "Lucius I trust you have given our friends in the Auror Office the information they will need?"

"Yes my lord," Lucius drawled. 

"Excellent," the Dark Lord laughed cruelly. "I will insure that they are met with adequate resistance. Avery, you will be in charge of this. See to it that my faithful death eaters are aware that you are not to remain if any are in danger. You are the distraction. They are not important to our cause. Though if you manage to kill a few of them that would be most excellent indeed."

There was silent for a few moments. Everyone watched in apt attention as the man paced the length of the tombstone. It was the same one they had stood around when he was revived. Severus still felt a chill run down his spine every time he watched this. 

"Leave us Avery and prepare," the Dark Lord commanded. 

"Yes my lord," Avery bowed low to the man and left quickly. The Dark Lord turned his burning red eyes on the man standing next to Avery, Thaddeus Lestrange.

"Tell me Lestrange, what have you done to reclaim your manors?" The Dark Lord inquired. 

"I have managed to attain all of my ancestral holdings back from the ministry, my Lord. I have reinstated as many of wards that I could without arrising suspicion from the Ministry. They should be adequate to house those who are freed," Thaddeus responded.

"See to it that they are ready tonight. I would suggest acquiring some trusted healers to your disposal," the Dark Lord said moving away from him. His dark gaze turned to Macnair and Dolohov. "My assassins," the Dark Lord hissed pleasantly. As if the term were one used for a lover. "I trust you are eager for your assignments?"

"Yes my Lord," both man said in unison. It was clear in their tone that they were longing for blood.

"Good. We are to have new members joining us soon, amongst our returning brethren. I will require an adequate size sample of muggles to celebrate the festivities," the Dark Lord hissed. "See to it that the selection is adequate for both of those honours."

"Yes my lord," both man replied equally pleased. 

"Do enjoy a little sport while your at it," the Dark Lord added as an after thought. Severus could all but feel the blood lust increase. It sickened him to think of the headlines in the next coming weeks. "Do remember to try and be discrete if that is at all possible." His gaze left the two blood thirsty man who's glee was palpable to turn to Hector Nott.

"Hector, you and Lucius will be needed for this mission. There is something I require, something important, but I do not know where it is stored. I will need an unspeakable from the Department of Mysteries see to it that they are unharmed and their absence is unnoticed," the Dark Lord commented. 

"Yes my Lord," Both Hector and Lucius replied.

The Dark Lord turned his gaze to Severus. Severus wondered what he could need from an unspeakable. That however would have to wait. Severus pushed all thoughts and questions out of his mind. Reinforcing all of his mental shields as he met the Dark Lord's gaze. Insuring his occlumency was as high as it could be. 

"I trust that you the potion completed for me?" The Dark Lord asked. 

"No, my lord," Severus replied. Keeping his answer brief knowing that anything more would be unwelcomed. 

"Explain," the Dark Lord demanded darkly. Clearly unhappy by this. 

"It is a very hard potions to create my lord. It isn't like any of the others that I have invented in the past for you. All the base potions that must be made take many days to complete and must be bounded in a very specific sequence. It is highly unstable," Severus explained knowing even with this explanation he would suffer for the madman's insanity. He wondered for the hundredth time how he'd come to be in this position? How is it that he'd fallen into slavery for a man who was irrevocably insane. True in the beginning the man had been sane, enough, if a bit eccentric. 

"Your failure disappoints me Severus," the Dark Lord said in that dangerous tone of voice. A moment later he hissed "Crucio."

Severus had not been expecting this. Of course he had known it was coming, but he had not been prepared for the pain. The instant the curse hit he fell to his knees a hiss of pain escaping his lips before he drew all his shields tighter around himself. Pushing everything behind a wall of Occlumency until he floated in that same inky blackness of unfeeling that had allowed him to withstand this curse so many times. The fire spread from his blood to his bones. Feeling as if his bones were cracking and breaking apart from the inside outwards. Then his skin began to itch and burn. Until every nerve ending in his body was raw. Yet still he did not scream. His teeth bit hard into his bottom lip until he tasted blood. 

"The rest of you may leave, Severus remain," the Dark Lord called out. Severus did not rise yet. Slowly catching his breath as the pain ebbed away. He could feel the Dark Lord's gaze on his, but his head felt too heavy to rise and meet that blood red gaze. 

"Severus, tell me, what is the Order Planning to do to protect Potter without the Blood Wards that have kept me away," the Dark Lord inquired. Severus took a moment to collect his thoughts. Drawing the memories of his discussion with Dumbledore on this very topic to the front of his mind. In case the Dark Lord probed him with Legilimency. It wouldn't do to appear completely blank. The last time he'd done that he'd been tortured for days for daring to keep secrets from his Lord. He had learned since to compartmentalize his shields. The outer shell housing the memories he could allow the Dark Lord to see being behind a thin shield that the Dark Lord could penetrate with a little effort. The rest behind solid shields and layered defences. 

"The Order will be establishing wards around Malfoy Manor," Severus responded smoothly. 

"Look at me Severus," the Dark Lord demanded harshly. Severus did as told. Even though it galled him to have to play submissive. The Dark Lord smiled. His blood red eyes boring into Severus. The sharp burning pain that shot through his head at the creatures intrusion into his thoughts pulled at the memories behind the first layer of defence. Severus hissed as the Dark Lord forcefully viewed the memories. Ripping them apart as he usually did to find the one he wanted. Severus knew that he would do this. New he relished in this. New that if he didn't have at least a good size pile of memories for the Dark Lord to poke through in that first layer he would dig deeper. That would insure lengthy torture. Such a fine balance. The pain in his head increased. Severus knew that the Dark Lord deliberately caused pain when he invaded his followers mind. The creature relished in pain. 

The memory of Dumbledore's meeting with him on the protection for Potter flashed in his mind. Lucius was there as well. Consenting to having Auror's set wards around his Manor. Dumbledore himself stating he would be doing his own wards. 

"Very well," the Dark Lord stated. "I will insure that our brethren know that the Potter boy is not to be harmed in any way. You will turn him to my side Severus. Or bring him to me. Should you fail to do so the consequences for the Malfoy family will be dire." 

"Yes my Lord," Severus responded. Relieved that the Dark Lord had retreated from his mind. 

"You may leave," the Dark Lord hissed. Severus rose slightly shaky. Walking out towards the apparation point to head back to Hogwarts and report.


	34. Triple Trouble Part Two

The next Monday found Severus in a foul mood. This wasn't unusual as the man was usually in a terrible temper. After all he wasn't known as the Greasy Dungeon Bat for nothing. He glided into his classroom with glaring disdain for the chittering children seated there and glowered at every one of them in tern. His stern gaze staying on Draco and Harry longer then the others. He noticed most of the dunderheads flinched as he glowered at them. 

"Today we will be attempting to make a fever reducer," Severus intoned in his usual voice. With a flick of his wrist towards the chalk board instructions appeared. "You have two hours for a potion that should take you an hour and fifteen minutes to make. I want your best work. This is a test so there will be no talking above the barest whisper to your partner when absolutely necessary. Anyone caught talking to their neighbour will get an instant zero and detention. Begin."

Severus stalked down the length of his classroom intently staring at each pair as he went. Glowering darkly. It was quickly evident to all the class that Severus was an even worse mood then usual. The dark thoughts swirling in his mind from his meeting with the headmaster on Sunday morning having made him irritable. The fact that he'd been informed that the break out had already taken place successfully had darkened his mood further. His report with Albus had put him in a right angry mood.

Exactly an hour and fifteen minutes later Miss Granger and Draco both had their hands shot into the air. Severus glared at both of them. He walked over to Draco first. Inspected the cauldron's contents and told him to bottle a vial and label it. Then he glided over to Granger and noticed her's as well was perfect. He was just telling her to bottle a vial when a sharp hiss permeated the classroom. Followed by four loud shrieks. 

Severus turned just in time to see Longbottom and his partner Parkinson dive under the table. A thick black hissing mass spilling forth and burning into the solid surface causing a thick green cloud to form. Severus cast a few containment charms wandlessly and wordlessly on their table. Gliding over to them.

"Get out of under the table," he demanded at the two students. Who hastened to obey. While he vanished the mess. "That will be a zero for todays test, both of you will remain after class and serve detention tonight," Without pausing he walked up tot he front of his classroom and gazed around. "Those of you who are completed tidy up. At the front you will find your written assignment take one back to your seat and complete it in absolute silence." Severus stood behind his desk glaring at the almost silent classroom. Watching the students in various stages of completing their potions. The level of activity grew as more students finished and bottled their vials to set on his desk. 

A half hour later he had a stack of parchment sitting on his desk next to the vials. He waved his wand to the blackboard and the instructions for the two essays appeared. "That is your homework. Those of you finished your assignment may leave," Severus stated simply. "Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy stay behind with Miss. Parkinson and Mr. Longbottom." Another ten minutes saw the last four students leaving the classroom until only Potter, Malfoy, Parkinson and Longbottom remained. 

"Mr. Malfoy you will assist Parkinson and Longbottom in their attempt at preparing today's potion. Instructions are on the board. You will not tell them what to do, but do prevent them from blowing up the cauldron if you please," Severus stated. Draco nodded. "Potter follow me," Severus added. Without another word he turned and walked back to his office. Leaving Draco with the other two students.

As he left the room Severus heard Parkinson whispering to Draco. 

"It's usual that he's letting us try again, especially on a test, what's gotten into him?" Pansy asked.

"I'm not sure, he's been really angry since Sunday," Draco admitted. 

The rest of the conversation was cut off as Harry closed the door to Severus's office. Severus settled down in his chair and leaned back watching Harry as he approached the desk apprehensively. 

"Since the guardianship is official now, you are Lucius Malfoy's ward. As such I am obligated to provide this letter to your Head of House. Do you know what is in this letter Potter?" Severus said holding up a thick envelope. 

"No sir," Harry hastened to say quickly. 

"It is a request to have monthly updates on your grades Potter. I have an identical form for Draco. There is however, more to it then that. It also gives your head of house permission for you to be sent to me as your godfather for discipline. Meaning that it will be my call if Lucius is to be owled regarding a problem that arrises. Lucius takes a lot of interest in his son's grades as do many of the parents in my house. Lucius expects his sons to have the highest possible grades they can achieve and he expects to hear from their head of house to inform him if they think his sons are applying themselves. As such you will be expected to do as well as you can and if not your are expected to receive tutoring. As I have seen you're work fluctuating far too much this year you will be joining Draco every Friday afternoon for tutoring from me. If you fail to show up you will receive one warning only. Should you ignore my warning you will find yourself in my study to be disciplined as is expected of a Malfoy. Do you understand?" Severus explained brusquely. 

"Yes sir," Harry said simply. 

"Good. You will be expected to join my first year study session every first Sunday of the month. This session takes place from 8am to noon. Usually it takes place in Slytherin common room, but as you are not a Slytherin it will be relocated to the potions classroom. Bring all of your homework for that week, notes and any material you do not understand from any class," Severus informed the child.

"Yes sir," Harry said simply. Overwhelmed that anyone cared what his grades were. Much less an adult offering to help him achieve high grades. "Sir, could Hermione, Neville and Ron join me?" 

"You may bring your friends. I do say that Longbottom and Weasley could use all the help they can get. Granger would be a positive influence on the group. Her study habits are something the rest of you could do with learning," Severus stated simply. He took a parchment and wrote out a note on it for the three students in his classroom, "Take this to Professor McGonagall, you may go now," Severus said rising and watching as Harry left with a mumbled thank you sir. Heading back out to his classroom he was pleased that the cauldron wasn't exploded. Severus watched as the students worked in relative silence while Draco sat on the desk next to theirs. Only speaking up if they were going to put in something that would cause problems. Severus was pleased to see that he only told them to read the instructions. An hour and a half later their potion was bottled. 

"Still not a good potion, but this time you did not blow up your cauldron. Now what did this exercise show you?" Severus inquired of the two.

"To read the instructions more carefully," Pansy said.

"Yes, and to relax. This is not a race to see who can finish fastest. I would rather you take longer and pay attention then to have you explode another cauldron. Longbottom I am not going to turn you into potion ingredients. I dare say they would not be useful. So relax! Read and Pay Attention!" Severus scolded coldly. After a chorus of 'yes sir' he faced both children and stated simply. "I will be giving you half the grade you would have received for this potion. Draco you will be getting a bonus on your score for the day's assignment for tutoring your classmates. All three of you have been excused from Transfiguration. I expect you to go to see Professor McGonagall after class. You may leave," Severus said turning from the children to begin readying his classroom for the next class.

* * *

The rest of the day went by smoothly. It wasn't until Friday that things became interesting again. Something Severus would have been much happier without. The time for his regular study session with Draco drawing closer as the lunch bell announced the end of lunch. Severus had not gone up to lunch as he'd been working on grading essays. Mostly those he'd received from his four hour potions class that morning. Not to mention he wanted to have a review test from what they had been studying so far. He'd already done up review homework to be handed out in Monday's class in preparation for the test next Friday.

The door to his classroom opened and Severus looked up from his desk. He had not moved from the classroom to his private office as he normally would since it would be simpler to work in here with the boys then his office. Looking over at the two as they settled down in the desk right in front of his. 

"What assignments do you have to complete this weekend?" Severus asked Draco as he did every Friday.

"Transfiguration essay and two assignment sheets, Charms essay, two Potions essays, three Astronomy assignment sheets, Defence essay and three assignment sheets, really long History essay, Herbology essay and a weekly picture diary of the plant we studied that week," Draco listed off pausing between subject just long enough to take a breath. 

"How much of this homework have you already done Draco?" Severus then asked.

"Transfiguration, Potions and Charms is done sir," Draco replied. Proudly. Those were after all his strongest subjects. 

"Very well set them on my desk for review while you begin on the next set. I expect you to finish Herbology and Defence Against the Dark Arts before break," Severus told Draco. Turning as Draco started to take out his assignments he turned his gaze to Harry. "How much of your homework have you already finished Po - Harry?" Severus asked. Severus corrected himself as he wanted this to be informal. 

"I have Defence, Astronomy and Charms done sir," Harry replied. 

"That's a start, put them on my desk for review. I expect you to finish Potions and a good part of Herbology before break," Severus told Harry. Taking the stack of papers from Draco. He waited impatiently as Harry handed him his assignments rather reluctantly. Severus looked down at the sheets in front of him. Pulling out a blank parchment to make comments on their assignment sheets as he didn't want to write on those. 

"Don't worry Harry, he's harsh, but I always get good grades because of these. He'll only correct them once though so you better put your best effort into the first one," Draco whispered to Harry noticing the smaller boy's worried expression. 

Soon silence fell over his office as Draco got back to work and Harry didn't comment. He was worried about Severus's comment he'd received plenty on his essays and they were never nice. Then again, even Hermione received less then pleasant comments from him even though she usually got exceeds expectations from him. Which was a really high grade coming from Severus. 

The sound of quill scratching filled the silence as Severus made several notes about the assignments on the parchment. He still used his bright red ink loving how it looked on the first draft of the essays he then corrected. Draco was used to this, during the summer and years before he came to Hogwarts, while he was being home taught his father had done the same thing. It surprised Draco that Harry found this unusual. Deciding to ask and wanting a break from filling out the assignment sheets Draco turned to Harry. 

"Does your head of house not offer this sort of thing?" Draco asked Harry. Since every Saturday Severus offered to look over the homework of any of his snakes who wanted him to. Which turned out to be many. 

"No, I guess she might help us with homework if we asked, but I don't know that anyone ever does," Harry answered. 

"Wow, that is weird. In Slytherin we get to see our head of house for two hours on Monday, Thursday and Friday evenings. We can ask questions about school work and extra curricular stuff or talk to him about anything else. On Saturday mornings he'll collect any homework we want him to go over and we get them back Sunday Morning. I'm surprised that it's not like that in other houses. That just seems weird to me," Draco commented. 

"I guess," Harry stated. Harry frowned at Draco before going back to his work. Draco stared at him. He still couldn't fathom a house that didn't take such measures to insure it's students passed. Maybe it was just Slytherin then. It made Draco doubly glad he was in Slytherin. He really couldn't imagine being in a house where he couldn't go to his head of house to have his homework looked over. It was just like having his father with him still. Only it wasn't his father so he still had the fun of being away from home for his schooling. Or maybe it was because most of the students from Slytherin had pureblood parents who insisted that Severus write them monthly on the progress of their students and insisted on the best grades possible for their sons and daughters. 

For the next hours none of them spoke. Severus finished correcting the last essay that he'd gotten from the two boys and handed back the stack of parchments to Draco and Harry before going back to his grading. Draco was showing improvement in his work since the start of term and that pleased Severus. He made a note to inform Lucius of this it would go a long way in making the other man happy. Severus smirked at the thought of Narcissa sending Draco a small gift next week via owl post as she tended to do whenever she learned her son had been working hard. To say that Narcissa spoiled her son was an understatement, but in Severus's opinion the balance between stern disciplined Lucius and motherly indulgent Narcissa was a nice balance for Draco. It was no secret that Lucius wanted his son to be a high ranking member of the Ministry or even Minister of Magic some day.

The next hour of their study period was spent in silence as both boys tried to get the work Severus had told them they had to before break. Severus looked up from his grading having finished a good portion of his stack. He looked over at the boys. 

"How much have you both finished?" Severus demanded. 

"I have Defence and Herbology done and I've started Astronomy," Draco said.

"I have finished Herbology and one of the Potions essays," Harry responded after Draco. 

"Draco hand me your finished homework, Harry I want your Herbology homework. You may both take an hour break. Leave your stuff here you will be coming back once that hour is done," Severus instructed holding out his hand for their finished assignments. Draco quickly gathered up his finished homework, caping his ink well. He handed the lot to Severus before leaving the room in a hurry. Harry was slower. Putting his ink and quill away before gathering his Herbology asignment and handing it to Severus. He left as well. Looking annoyed and tired at having spent his free period cooped up in the dungeons. Severus smirked. 

The hours passed quickly. Both students coming back in to find their corrected assignments on their desk and their potions professor quietly working on some sort of formula. Draco settled down to continue with his work. Harry hesitated, but followed suit.

"How long is he going to keep us here?" Harry asked Draco.

"Until all our homework is done and he's had a look at it," Draco replied. 

"He's worse then Hermione," Harry grumbled.

"You better get used to it, dad is really horrible if you don't get good grades," Draco stated simply. A slight shiver at the thought of the one and only time he'd tried to argue with his dad about having to spend so much time working on homework after classes when he was younger. 

"Is that what having a real family is like?" Harry asked wistfully. 

"Yah," Draco said smiling, "it's just his way of saying he cares for your future. We better finish working or we'll be here after supper too." Harry groaned at this. He still remembered his earlier study sessions where he met Severus for potions help. Now it seemed more was expected of him. A part of Harry loved this and another part was slightly terrified by this sudden family. 

As the children got to work on their next assignments, Severus smirked at his paper. It always amused him to watch the two of them interact. Though it also saddened him that these simple things astonished Harry. 

A few moments later the fire in his office flared. Sending a rather sharp shock through the wards and Severus. He rose smoothly. "You boys keep working, I will return in a moment," Severus stated as he walked quickly into his office. There in the fire behind his desk was the face of Madam Pomfrey in the fire. Severus knelt gracefully before her. 

"To what do I owe this pleasure Poppy?" Severus inquired.

"I need you to take a look at this venom sample Severus, I do not believe this is caused by a dog," Poppy stated holding out a vial towards him. Severus took it and examined the vial of venom and blood. 

"No that is definitely not a dog's venom. If I did not know better I would say this is Dragon Venom. Not fully mature by the slight yellow texture. I'll perform a few tests to make sure. Though I wonder where it could have come from as I don't keep this type of volatile ingredient here," Severus stated looking at Poppy, "a student or teacher?"

"Student, Ron Weasley to be more accurate," Poppy replied. 

"I wonder," Severus said frowning. He'd noticed the children had been acting oddly and seeing Hagrid often. "I'll call you back in about half an hour Poppy. It takes that long for the test to complete. Treat him with a general anti-venom, I'll hand you a more concentrated dose of anti-venom once I have finished my tests."

"Thank you Severus," Poppy said as Severus rose and left the room to complete his task. He reentered his classroom with the vial in his hand. Setting it down on his desk. He pulled open the cupboard behind his desk next to the board that held a few of his own personal brewing equipment and pulled out a few vials and a cauldron. Going back to his desk he set up the small workstation. 

Draco and Harry both stopped working to observe Severus. Draco with curiosity and Harry with awe. The quick deft movements of their professor something Draco had seen often, but was new to Harry. It always fascinated Draco who was no where near as graceful or quick with his potions. 

Severus tipped the vial of venom into his cauldron, added a few drops from two other vials. Set the cauldron on low heat and watched as the blue-green contents within turned a pure red as he stirred. Adding a measured amount of dragon scales he watched as the mixture puffed one silver cloud of dust and then turned black. Severus cursed under his breath. Eyes narrowing he threw in a long green leaf and watched as the leaf burned quickly before he removed his stirring rod and waited a full minute. The mixture bubbled slowly and finally the black mixture turned back to a deep blood red. 

"I won't be needing half an hour after all," Severus hissed to himself with narrowed eyes. He looked up and towards the two awed and curious face. "Do either of you know that Hagrid has a dragon?" Severus demanded of the boys. Both of their faces turned chalk white and Draco gaped at him. Harry looked like he was about to pass out. Sighing Severus took the cauldron off the fire and set it down to cool. Turning the fire off he put it away and used a wordless spell to clean the vial and table of residue. He decanted the potion back into the vial. Cast the same spell at the cauldron and set everything away. "I am still waiting on an explanation gentlemen and you have four minutes before both of you find yourselves in my office waiting for Lucius to arrive."

"It was when you brought us to his hut," Draco hastened to speak. 

"We didn't know until we watched it hatch," Harry said quickly. 

"Were just waiting for Charlie to send us a letter back so we can send him to Romania," Draco explained. 

"He bit Ron a few days ago," Harry stated. 

"Yes this I figured out Potter, seeing as it is the venom from his wound I just tested," Severus said sternly, "None of you thought you should come to a teacher about this?" 

"No sir," both boys chorused, "we promised Hagrid we wouldn't tell."

"Who else is in on this?" Severus demanded darkly. 

"Granger, Weasley and Nott," Draco supplied. 

"Well Mr. Weasley is in the Hospital Wing so I will deal with him later. Miss Granger and Mr. Nott will be joining the both of you in detention Tomorrow morning, now get back to work while I get an antidote for Weasley," Severus stated darkly. Turning and striding from the room once more. As the door shut he caught Harry's barely whispered, 'we are so dead,' and sighed heavily. 

Severus walked all the way to his private cabinet and opened it. Searching the shelves for the vial of dragon anti-venom he kept for when he worked with dragon venom in his potions. Finding the extremely small vials tucked in the back. He pulled one out and closed the cabinet. Held the potion up to the light and checked that the black liquid inside was perfect. It was. He flooed Poppy. 

"Severus, I take it you have news?" Poppy asked as he answered the call.

"Yes, he will need to drink all of this. I do warn you however it is about the foulest tasting potion I have ever had the misfortune of tasting," Severus explained handing over the vial. 

"Thank you Severus," Poppy said taking the vial and walking away. Severus rose and headed back out to his classroom. Sitting down at his desk he took out a fresh sheet of parchment and wrote out a brief note to Professor McGonagall knowing she would make sure that Granger showed up to her detention. With a wave of his hand the missive ended up on Minerva's desk. 

A few moments later found Severus working on his formula. For half an hour all was quiet then the floo in his office sounded again. This caused Severus to sigh irritably. He looked at the clock.

"Leave your finished homework on my desk and go to dinner. I expect you to return here after you've eaten. You have one hour to do with as you please. Make sure you eat dinner in that time. Your detention will be at 8am tomorrow," Severus informed the boys as he headed to his office without waiting for their response. 

"Minerva, I was expecting this. Care to floo over?" Severus inquired. 

"I think I shall," Minerva responded. A dark glower covering her features. Severus settled at his desk while the older woman flooed over. He indicated the seat across from him. Minerva sat and glared intently at him. 

"Do tell me what Granger and Potter have done to earn detention," Minerva demanded. 

"First off, did you read the documents that Lucius sent you?" Severus asked. 

"Yes yes, is Potter's detention because of his poor grades then?" Minerva asked.

"No, him and his friends are helping Hagrid with a dragon he had hidden away in his hut," Severus stated watching with very slight pleasure her face pale and shock write itself across her features. 

"What?" The Scottish woman asked. 

"I will not repeat myself Minerva," Severus growled. 

"Why exactly are you hosting the detention and not me, I am their head of house," Minerva demanded. 

"It was I who took the children to visit Hagrid while we were moving that mirror, they should have informed me the moment I saw them to their dormitory," Severus stated simply. "They did not. Therefore they lied to me and since two of my snakes were involved all four of them will serve the same detention. Unfortunately Weasley has an excuse to serve his later since he is in the Hospital Wing due to dragon poisoning," Severus explained further stalling her demand to take over the detentions of her two lions.

"I see and what exactly will their detention entail?" Minerva asked. 

"They will be research dragon venom and writing an essay on it's properties and usage in potions. Then they will help prepare the ingredients I will need to make another vial of dragon anti-venom. Seeing as they forced me to use up the second to last vial I had in my store," Severus explained simply. 

"Why the essay?" Minerva asked, knowing the rest was more then fair. 

"It is the only way I can adequately judge that they have actually read and understood the material I will be giving them when they are sitting here for most of their Saturday," Severus said with a mischievous grin. 

"Just how long are you planning to keep them on Saturday?" Minerva inquired. So far finding this a far lighter punishment then she had expected from Severus. 

"If they are half as intelligent as Miss Granger claims to be about six hours," Severus stated. "I will also be insuring that Hagrid's dragon is sent to Romania seeing as the children are already making plans with Charlie. I am sure he will have a way for us to hand that awful beast over to his care. Certainly having them brew a strong sleeping potion for the beast wouldn't go amiss I'm certain between the four of them their evening could be easily devoted to this," Severus added. "That would make their detention an entire day," he finished seeing the red tinge creeping into Minerva's face.

"Severus you cannot give a day long detention!" Minerva thundered. 

"Would you rather I expel them then? As well as have Hagrid brought up on charges at the Ministry?" Severus asked. Continuing on, "That Minerva is what would happen if someone like Lucius found out what his sons were getting up to."

"Very well, but do not write to Lucius then," Minerva stated simply. She knew that neither Draco nor Harry would be foolish enough to write to Lucius to tell him of this. 

"I have no intention of it," Severus stated with a wry grin that made Minerva nervous.

"Very well. In that case I shall inform Miss Granger of her impending detention after supper. What shall be done with Mr. Weasley when he is released?" Minerva inquired.

"You may see to his detention, though I warn you if it is not as severe as that of Mr. Potter and Miss Granger I will be giving him a series of other detentions to make up for it," Severus stated bluntly. 

"I wouldn't want that to happen Severus. No I think a detention on the next Quidditch match saturday scrubbing suits of armour with Filtch for the morning would do, as well as spending the evening with me writing lines and cleaning my classroom should about do for a days detention," Minerva informed Severus who looked less then happy but nodded none the less. It was far easier then he'd like. 

"I expect him to read and write the same essay as I am assigning the others regardless," Severus injected. 

"Yes he can do that before he writes lines for me," Minerva sated giving Severus a small smile. 

"That is settled then, I will inform Mr. Nott," Severus rose and Minerva followed suit. "Will you floo back to your office? Or would you like to accompany me to dinner?" 

"I think I'll accompany you to dinner. I was about to head there myself before I read your note," Minerva answered as Severus led her from his office. The two walked up to the Great Hall.


	35. Triple Trouble Part Three

Severus sighed. It was really beginning to wear on his nerves. Could the boy not keep himself out of trouble for even one day? Severus thought darkly as he walked slowly back to his quarters. He had just had to issue yet another detention due to the boy's nighttime wanderings. This time he'd caught the boy in the library after curfew. If he didn't know any better he'd say the boy was looking for a book in the Restricted Section. Severus by this point was getting to his wits end with the child. How many more detention could the boy get in a week? Sighing in exasperation Severus made his way back to his room to get some much needed sleep before the group of children showed up for detention. 

Saturday dawned bright and early. Not that Severus could see that from his windowless chambers down in the dungeons. Rising at around six am the dour potions master got ready for his day and headed up to the Great Hall. Knowing that Theodore was indeed going to show up for detention as he'd been sent a missive last night by Severus himself when he'd gone to the Slytherin Common Room in order to see if anyone needed any help with something. 

Striding smoothly into the Great Hall he looked at his Slytherin table noting who was already up, pleased to see Draco and Theo eating breakfast already. Seeing as they were expected in his office at 8am this was a good thing. He made his way up to the staff table. Sliding into his seat next to Albus. 

"I got your note last night my boy, will you meet me at Hagrid's before the lunch hour?" Albus asked him. 

"I cannot headmaster I have detention to administer. I could meet you tomorrow morning at Hagrid's if that would be agreeable?" Severus stated.

"Yes I think that would work well," Albus replied cheerfully going back to eating. Severus sighed and resumed eating. Wondering when he'd have time to finish all that was still required of him. He had so much work left to do. His headache was starting to return again. 

Severus finished eating his meal and rose again excusing himself to head down to his office to get a little bit of work done before the four students entered for detention. A half hour later found Severus still finishing up the last of his essay stack when Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Theodore Nott and Draco Malfoy walked into his office. Severus looked up at them and waited until they came to stand before him. 

"I presume you are all aware why you are here?" Severus stated bluntly. His narrowed gaze scanning each face. He received a series of nods and a few mumbled yes sirs. "Good then follow me, you will be spending the day here and probably a good portion of the evening." Severus stated darkly as he rose and led them through to his classroom. Indicating that they should sit themselves sat the desk before his desk. 

"For the morning you will read through the chapter on Dragon and their uses in potions found on page 436 of these books here," Severus lectured in his usual teaching voice making the books fly over to their desk and land one before each child. "I expect a two foot essay on what you read by lunch," Severus said and turned to gather what he would need to work on the antidote to the Dark Lord's potion. Which would be a very stable potion making the best use of his time here. He'd finished the formula yesterday. Setting the paper down on his desk and starting to quickly and smoothly chop the roots silence fell over his classroom as the children began to read. 

Several hours later Severus had a simmering brew on his desk and noticed Granger had her hand in the air. "Yes Miss. Granger?" Severus said. 

"I'm finished with my essay sir," Hermione said. Severus set a charm around his cauldron that would alert him when it had simmered for thirty minutes, before stalking down to her desk. He picked up her parchment and read it. Frowning. "It's hardly more then the textbook regurgitated but it is adequate I suppose," Severus drawled putting the paper back down on her desk. "Clean up and take out your potions kit. I will have you preparing a few ingredients that I may brew another batch of anti-venom." 

"Yes sir," Hermione said taking her essay and tucking it into her bag. She took out her knife and scales. Meanwhile Severus had gone to retrieve the ingredients he wanted her to prepare. Setting them down with three vials he instructed, "you will need to dice these roots until you have one ounce of them. You will then need to crush these berries until you have a full vial. Then you will cut into very fine slices these leaves here until you have exactly two ounces of them. Am I understood?" Severus asked. Hermione who'd been writing down everything he said replied softly. 

"Yes sir," Hermione said before taking the roots and starting her dicing under his narrowed gaze. Satisfied that she was doing decently he walked over to Theodore who'd just raised his hand. 

"Finished with your essay Mr. Nott?" Severus inquired. 

"Yes sir," Theodore said handing him the parchment. Severus read it frowning slightly. 

"Acceptable, clear your spot and open that book to page 506. It will list how you are peel and slice the Newt Tails," Severus instructed as he retrieved the next set of ingredients that the children would be preparing. Setting out two different one's before Nott. "The salamander hearts are to be prepared as per page 296."

Severus watched as Theodore began before going over to Draco and Harry who were both finishing up their essays. A little while later he read over them and nodded satisfied. He retrieved another small pile of ingredients giving instructions for dicing, page numbers for certain more complex preparations and weight required. Nodding in satisfaction he returned to his potion. Decanted it and set it to cool before he began cleaning his equipment. Preparing for brewing the anti-venom. 

An hour later Severus noticed that it was a little past twelve o'clock and thus he called a stop escorting the children to the great hall with a stern warning to return straight to the classroom after the meal. Severus ate his lunch rather quickly and was back in his classroom before any of the students had returned. He prepped the base that would need to simmer for an hour before anything else could be done. 

The students came back as Severus was just adding the last ingredient to the base and started to stir it counter-clockwise. Pausing every couple of stir. He looked up briefly to insure they returned to work, which they all did in silence. Knowing better then to speak least they get points removed on top of this detention. Once he had the base simmering he walked around checking the ingredients and gathering up those that were completed setting them on his desk in a very specific order. 

"Once you are done with what remains I expect you to clean up your desks and set up a cauldron. You will all be working together to brew a strong sleeping draught," Severus told them as he noticed Hermione getting close to done along with Draco.

Severus finished grading the last of his essay stack by the time all of the ingredients were finished and the desk the children worked at was clean with one cauldron set up for them to work at. He waved his wand at the blackboard and the instructions appeared on the board for the potion they were to make. 

"I expect you four to work together," Severus instructed before rising and going about working on his own potion which had reached the deep red it was suppose to be to go to the next stage. The rest of the day went by rather quickly to Severus. It was soon seven o'clock and all their potions were ready. He was pouring out the thick black anti-venom while Draco was pouring out the sleeping drought. When the vial was set on his desk Severus dismissed the four children with a warning that they better not be out next Saturday while he and Minerva took the dragon to Charlie's friend or they would be in detention until the end of term! 

The next few days were rather uneventful and Severus was quite pleased. He was finally caught up on Potions for everyone he owed them too. Including the ones he'd had via request from the Ministry of Magic and was in a more relaxed mood. It was a beautiful Wednesday evening and he was walking the halls after dinner when he came across a scene that both startled and infuriated him. Instantly irradiating the good mood he had been in. 

Standing in the hallway between the Charms classroom and Transfiguration classroom Harry Potter and Ron Weasley were facing off. Severus's eyebrows rose as hexes flew. His gliding walk took him across the space in an instant he stopped just short of grabbing Potter by the scruff of his neck when Ron fell to the floor. 

"What in Merlin's name are you two miscreants doing?" Severus thundered. Both pair of startled eyes looked at him. "Wands away NOW! 50 points from Gryffindor." Severus began. At their gaping mouthed looks and the stammered.

"That's not fair," Ron growled. 

"Each," Severus continued as if he hadn't heard Ron who wisely shut up. "You shall both receive detention of this! Get up. Both of you are going to see Professor McGonagall," Severus thundered far to angry to say anything more as he grabbed Ron's shirt and took a hold of Harry's elbow. Leading both boys in his furious wake as he almost dragged them along the corridor stopping at Minerva's office and pushing them through the door. 

"Minerva, I caught these two dunderheads having a duel outside the charms corridor. I presume you can handle this?" Severus demanded of the startled witch who stared at them. 

"Yes I can thank you Severus, I presume you already removed points and asigned detention?" Minerva inquired politely while glaring darkly at the boys. 

"I did," Severus stated. Without another word he left the office fuming. Of all the stupid thing those two imbeciles could have done. Trying to hex each other. Idiots. He could hear Minerva's tirade from outside the closed door and he smirked. As much as he would have liked to have been the boy's Head of House to really lay it into them for this he knew Minerva was strict and would set a strong punishment. Satisfied he headed back to his dungeons. 

Saturday came quickly and Severus was reluctant to face what awaited him. With narrowed eyes he walked to Minerva's quarters and knocked. She stepped out and met him with a curt nod that he returned. The two of them set off towards Hagrid's hut.


	36. Enough is Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING:** there will be mention of spanking to a minor in this chapter. However, the scene will not be written out in detail. It is just mentioned that that is what happens.

"Severus, you know that Potter has received four detention this week alone?" Minerva said as the two of them walked down towards Hagrids hut.

"Yes, I'm one detention away from writing to Lucius. This is seriously getting out of hand. Though it is to be expected. I don't think the child is really a trouble maker, but he is testing his boundaries. Seeing what punishments will be dealt out for his actions. How far he can push before his 'adoptive' parents finally get involved and just what that will mean for him. It really isn't uncommon for children from troubled homes," Severus explained clearly knowing what she was asking without actually saying it.

"Are you not concerned by this?" Minerva said stopping to look at him. Severus stopped and turned to face her.

"Not particularly. I'm annoyed and getting to my wits end with him, he needs a firm hand," Severus responded.

"Is that wise Severus?" Minerva asked a little concerned.

"Minerva the child needs rules he can follow. Trust me when I say he's never had a set of guidelines that do not change on a whim," Severus replied to her and started to walk faster down towards the ground as they reached the main floor. Effectively closing the conversation. The hardest part was that so far Lucius had not laid out the guidelines for Harry. He was planning on doing it at the end of term Severus was certain of this. However, right now the boy was testing his boundaries and that Weasley child was always up to mischief, which didn't help as it tended to lead Harry astray. Sighing Severus pushed open the doors that led out of the school. Minerva falling back into step at his side. A stern glower on her face for his abrupt ending to their conversation.

It was dark outside, almost midnight now, as they walked down the lawn and towards the only spec of light outside. Arriving at Hagrid hut, Severus knocked firmly on the door to see a weeping Hagrid come out. "Is he ready?" Severus demanded.

"Ye-yes," Hagrid cried harder at that word. Severus sighed turned to Minerva and gave her a look that said _'do something about him!'_ Severus had no time for this. He walked around Hagrid towards the back of the hut where just outside the pumpkin patch sat a large wooden crate with an semi-closed lid. Severus conjured a bowl and poured in the sleeping drought before floating it into the crate from a safe distance. He waited for the noise to stop as the creature fell asleep. Satisfied he get the lid in place. Put a featherlight charm and a levitation charm on the crate. Levitating it around the hut he was met by Minerva who'd managed to get the weeping Hagrid back in. She looked definitely less then happy as she looked at the floating crate.

"Let's get this over with," Minerva said with a heavy sigh. "Were do we take it?"

"Top of the Astronomy tower," Severus answered, raising one eyebrow at her words. She seemed even more disgruntled then he was about being with the dragon. They began the silent trek up to the school and up to the tallest tower. Finally they were standing on the ledge of the Astronomy Tower watching the sky. Severus hung back far away from the ledge, being very uncomfortable being up here. He did not like heights. Minerva had no such reservation and she leaned against the barrier and looked out towards the dark sky. 

They did not wait long and soon the dragon was safely harnessed between the brooms of Charlie's friends and out of his hair. Severus turned and swept down the steps his movements faster then normal and thus he didn't stand a chance when he ran straight into a solid object half way down the stairs. There was a loud scream followed by four bodies tumbling out of the stairway at the end. Minerva having come down the stairs much slower looked down on the scene.

Laying sprawled on the floor before her were Severus, Harry, Draco and Ron. Severus pushed himself up and glared deadly at them. He'd had enough of this. "That's it. Minerva I shall be taking Potter with me down to my office along with Mister Malfoy." Severus said gently taking hold of both boys and hauling them up to their feet before turning and stalking off with both boys before Minerva could so much as answer. Severus had had enough.

They arrived in his office in almost no time, both boys were breathing heavy from having to jog to keep up with his much faster gait. Severus left them sitting on his couch as he flooed over to Malfoy Manor.

* * *

"What's going to happen Draco?" Harry asked in a whisper as he sat next to Draco on the couch in Severus's private quarters where he was left. He felt terrified at the prospect of Severus waking the Malfoys. 

"Were going to get in serious trouble," Draco sighed heavily. "This is really going to suck."

"Draco..." Harry whispered then got scared and just looked down with tear filled eyes. Draco looked at him and his eyes grew wide at the small shaking child next to him.

"Harry it's ok, look he might spank us, but he's not going to hurt us. Seriously, it'll be ok, we just broke one of his biggest rules and that is to not put ourselves in danger. He'll be angry, but he won't yell, which is actually kinda scarier," Draco said trying to explain to his frightened brother what would happen. That didn't seem to help as Harry drew his legs up to his chest and laid his head on them wrapping his arms around his legs and cried silently. "Come on tell me what's wrong? It's not like this is the first time you're in trouble so what is it? Did you get hurt when we fell down the stairs?" Draco was frantic to find out what was going on.

"Your dad's going to see how much of a freak I am and he's going to get rid of me," whispered Harry. Not having heard the floo sound.

* * *

"Your sons have been caught out of bed after curfew again. This time after being specifically told not to be out of bed this night or they would be facing you for it. They both said to my face they wouldn't be out of bed and lo and behold I run right into them under that infuriating cloak," Severus growled out. Clearly out of patience.

"I see and so you get me out of bed at after one in the morning to deal with it?" Lucius asked with one raised eyebrow.

"Harry needs to see that he's gone too far this time, they were both in a very dangerous situation Lucius," Severus stated.

"What do you mean by that Severus?" Lucius demanded getting frustrated and confused by the half answers.

"He has spent the majority of the term in detention, his assignments and homework along with his classwork is suffering from his lack of attention towards his subjects. He's testing his boundaries and getting in trouble, but detentions are no longer doing anything. He needs a firm set of rules and their punishments to set him back in line. For that to happen you need to be involved Lucius," Severus stated. Explaining briefly.

"Yes I was planning on going over the rules I expected him to live by at the start of the summer, what is a few months?" Lucius asked. Though he was not pleased with what Severus was saying. He couldn't help but wonder what the child was getting up to.

"Unfortunately Lucius if this behaviour keeps up he'll run afoul of Quirrell before the summer starts," Severus sighed heavily.

"No he wouldn't dare! The Dark Lord gave us an order to leave the boy alone until he is seventeen!" Lucius demanded infuriated.

"Quirell will not listen. He has already tried to kill the boy. I am certain he will try again," Severus stated.

"Alright, but one thing Severus, what were the boys doing that forced your hand in calling me in the middle of the night?" Lucius asked. It was clear he wanted answers.

"I made a promise to Minerva that I wouldn't tell you the specifics Lucius, but I will tell you this. Tonight Minerva and I were disposing of a dangerous creature and the children decided to follow us to watch," Severus said and had the pleasure of watching anger flash in Lucius's eyes.

"I take it that the reason you had to deal with this dangerous creature is because the children were helping in concealing it from the staff?" Lucius asked with a deadly calm voice.

"Yes, but they were sufficiently punished for not informing me," Severus stated.

"Be that as it may, I think I need to have a word with my son," Lucius said with a heavy sigh. "Come let us deal with this," Lucius said simply. Though he only had his outer robes over his pyjamas he followed Severus through the floo. As soon as Lucius stepped out he froze at the sight before him, but it was the softly whispered words from the boy that caused his blood to run cold. 

"Your dad's going to see how much of a freak I am and he's going to get rid of me," whispered Harry. Who was curled up on the couch next to a startled Draco. The boys defensive position was all too familiar to Severus and made him wish he could torture some muggles. Silently he glided over and sat down next to the child placing his arm around the boy's shoulders ignoring his flinch. As soon as Severus moved Lucius shook himself out of his shock and walked until he stood before the child. Kneeling down he gently tilted the boy's chin so their eyes could meet.

"No Harry, even if you break the rules I will never send you away child," Lucius said gently. Watching the child's eyes grow wide with fright. It was clear to Severus that Harry didn't know what to make of any of this. After a few moment's he leaned into Severus's side, but he didn't move his arms from their tight hold around his legs. He did try and look away from Lucius, but the man's gentle and firm hold prevented him from it.

"You are not a freak Harry, why do you think that?" Severus asked very gently. Lucius looked up at him with a disgruntled expression.

"Because I can do freaky things," Harry said as if that explained everything.

"You mean Magic?" Severus pressed gently. Harry nodded as much as he could with Lucius still holding his chin. Severus sighed, "tell me Harry am I a freak? Is Lucius? Or Draco?" Severus asked the boy.

"No!? Why would you say that?" Harry asked startled by the words.

"We can all do magic, so if your a freak fro being able to do magic then that makes us all freaks," Severus explained and Harry shook his head emphatically. Lucius dropped his hand from the boy and appreciated Severus's tactic.

"No, no your not. You can't be! Freaks aren't loved, freaks don't have families!" Harry declared emphatically. Almost panicked. 

"If we are not freaks Harry then neither are you. What you are is a Wizard Harry. Just like Lucius, just like Draco, just like me. They were wrong and prejudice. What those _muggles_ told you was a lie Harry," Severus sneered the word Muggle as he spoke. Though his voice was soft it was still cold and firm. Harry stared at him.

"It's late, clearly you boys haven't slept yet, so tell me what you were doing out of bed tonight?" Lucius inquired rising to his feet and coming to sit in the comfortable armchair across from the couch.

"We'd been doing homework in the library," Draco began.

"Ron was just starting to like me again," Harry added in quickly. Almost talking on top of each other. In such a hurry were both boys to explain.

"I head Weasley and Harry were going to sneak out to go see it off," Draco went on.

"Ron said if I didn't go with him then I wasn't the friend he thought I was," Harry went on as well.

"I couldn't just sit around in my room without knowing if Harry was ok!" Draco declared.

"I wanted Ron to still be friends with me," Harry finished sadly. "He said if we were under the cloak we wouldn't be seen."

"I followed them to their tower when they left the library and waited for them to come back out. Weasley was a prat," Draco added the last.

"When I saw Draco I didn't want him to get in trouble for being out of bed after curfew so we all three shared the cloak," Harry decided to add to try and make things more clear.

"Let me get this straight, Mr. Weasley decided that he would ignore what he'd been told and sneak out to see the creature being disposed off. Instead of staying out of it, or coming to me, you both decided to join him?" Severus inquired from where he sat. Lucius regarded them with a frown.

"Yes sir," both boys replied as one.

"Do either of you know how dangerous your nighttime wandering is?" Lucius inquired.

"Yes sir," both boys answered.

"Harry I must apologize, I did not give you my rules during Christmas," Lucius began slowly. Watching the small child who had yet to uncurl from that position. He continued on, "I was going to do this at the start of summer holidays, but I think it must be done now so you fully understand what I am going to have to do tonight. I know you've never had a set of rules that do not change on a whim so let me tell you the rules I expect you to live by. You will respect your elders. You will do you utmost best in school and follow all school rules as if they were my own rules. You will not put yourself in harms ways. There are other's that you'll learn as you learn what is expected of a pureblood son, but those are the main rules. Tell me Harry what do you think you did by sneaking off to follow Severus tonight?" Lucius inquired.

"I put my life in danger," Harry whispered staring up at Lucius with a stunned expression. He couldn't believe the man actually cared about his safety. 

"You did, Draco what punishment do you receive when you disregard that rule?" Lucius asked.

"A spanking," Draco whispered. He didn't want to be spanked by his father.

* * *

Severus bade Lucius a good night as the man flooed home. By the time their evening had finished both boys had been placed in Severus's guest bedroom as they had fallen asleep. He left them only to see Lucius off before going back into the room to check on them. Draco and Harry were curled up on the large bed in peaceful sleep. Hardly a sign of the earlier tears both boys had shed. Severus hated that he'd had to see them both spanked for their constant night time wanderings, but his fear that Quirrell would catch them out of bed at night and succeed in taking Harry's life and likely that of anyone with him was far more pressing in his thoughts then the discipline of the children. As Severus had explained to both Draco and Harry, they couldn't wander the halls in the dark because they could both get hurt, kidnaped or even killed. He'd tried not to scare Harry as he still didn't want to really get into the whole Death Eater thing with him. Yet, the boy had already known. He shook his head. Feeling tired and worn out. Knowing that breakfast would see questions being asked of him he slowly went to bed.

Morning came quickly. Seeing as it was almost two in the morning by the time he'd gone to bed. Severus sighed as he sat up and yawned. Showering and dressing before he went to wake the boys. He found Harry awake and staring at the ceiling. Draco still blissfully asleep. 

"Draco time to wake up," Severus said gently from the doorway watching as the sleepy child blinked up at him. "Both of you get ready. We shall have breakfast in my kitchen before you both head to class," with that Severus turned and left the room before Harry could ask the questions that he could see on the boy's face. Soon enough he would get the long list of questions, but for now he simply wanted to see about breakfast.

Severus was just setting out juice on the table when both boys came into the small kitchen. Sliding into the chairs. Wincing slightly at the unpadded chairs. Clearly uncomfortable. Severus sighed inwardly at that. Though he didn't enjoy the form of punishment he knew many old families used it. Shaking his head knowing that Lucius would never hurt them in his punishment, he pushed his distaste for it away.

"Uncle Severus," Draco began softly and Severus looked at him. Waving his hand to say _'go on'_ and Draco did, "why are you so concerned about us wandering around Hogwarts, Father used to wander at night, so did you. You told me some stories when I was younger. So why is it so bad now?"

"Do you remember how Lucius told you at Christmas that the Dark Lord had ordered his Death Eaters to leave Harry alone?" Severus asked the child. He had not approved of Lucius explaining that to them, but he knew it was necessary. Even though he didn't like it. Draco had grown up knowing Lucius and Severus where Death Eaters and it was only a matter of time before Harry figured it out. It was best that Harry heard it from Lucius or himself. Then someone like Weasley. He knew this conversation was coming. He had just not expected it to be so soon.

"Yes," Draco replied evidently uncertain why Severus asked that. Severus noticed that even though Draco kept eating breakfast Harry had stopped and was staring openly at Severus. Severus took a bite of his eggs and chewed before he answered.

"There is a Death Eater here Draco and he has already tried to hurt Harry before now," Severus stated bluntly. There was no point in dancing around this topic. After all he wasn't known for his tact when it came to saying hard truths. 

"Is it Quirrell?" Harry whispered out softly.

"Why do you say that Harry?" Severus asked instead of answering. He wanted to know how the boy could possibly have guessed this.

"Well my scar hurts all the time in his class," Harry whispered so softly that Severus barely heard him. That startled him. He had to ask.

"Like a headache?" Severus inquired. Hopping that this was indeed what the child meant, but knowing it wasn't.

"No, well yes my head hurts a lot, but this feel like my scar is splitting open. It's not like a headache. Not really," Harry said to his plate. His words soft and hesitant.

"Has it happened before Harry?" Severus asked softly.

"Just when I have nightmares," Harry mumbled. And in that moment Severus knew his suspicions had been correct. He would need to do some research, but he was almost certain what had happened, the only question was _how?_

"Yes Harry, Quirrell is a Death Eater, and he is the one after you," Severus finally answered the boy's question.

"But why?" Draco demanded, "if the Dark Lord told him not to, why is he after Harry?"

"There are many reasons Draco, some of which you wouldn't understand, but that is not important. What is important is that you both are in grave danger when you are near him. Draco he might go after you to get to Harry now that you are Harry's brother, so when you both insist on sneaking out during the night you're leaving yourself open to him. I cannot protect you if I don't know where you are," Severus explained.

"Why does he hate me?" Harry whispered out sadly. "I haven't done anything?!"

"I don't know Harry, I can only guess," Severus said gently. 

"I won't let anyone hurt you Harry," Draco said giving his brother a sideways hug.

"You have a lot of friends Harry, all of whom wouldn't let anything happen to you, but you need to follow the rules or we can't protect you, do you understand?" Severus asked gently.

"Yes Uncle Severus," Harry whispered.

"Good now eat up, you have class in fifteen minutes and I don't want you late," Severus stated simply.


	37. Meetings Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING:** There will be Death and Torture in this chapter. Read at your own discretion. If you don't want to read this chapter skip over to the next chapter where Severus will be giving his report.
> 
>  **Author's Note:** I would read all the way up to the end of Harry's Point of View before closing this chapter, if you don't want to read the torture and death scenes at the end of the chapter. The information in Harry's Point of view will allow for the next chapter to make sense to everyone, otherwise the next two chapters are going to confuse you.

Severus was sitting with the rest of the staff watching the Quidditch match between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff when he felt it. The sharp burning of the mark on his arm. He flinched at that deep burn. It was that sharper far more painful burning that signalled the Dark Lord's displeasure. Rising with one quick look at Albus Severus swept down the steps that led him away from the Quidditch match and towards the Forbidden Forrest. Severus wasn't aware of a pair of bright green eyes following him as he left. 

* * *

HARRY POTTER POV

* * *

Harry was watching the match with Hermione, Ron, Neville and Dean. They were cheering along with the crowd. If Ravenclaw won they would be tight on who won the cup, but if Hufflepuff won then it was much easier for them. Harry was quite interested in the match, until he felt a sudden burning in his scar. He gasped as the pain intensified and he sat down suddenly feeling disoriented and sick. Pressing his hand to his forehead. Hermione who didn't understand Quidditch was the first to notice as Harry fell back on his chair. His eyes seeking out Snape. With an almost blurry edged focus Harry watched Snape get up and leave the teachers bench. He was walking too quickly. Harry wondered where he was going and why his scar was burning. Harry didn't notice Quirrell slowly getting up.

Harry got up and ignore Hermione's shrill cry, "Harry!?" As he quickly made his way down from the stands. Hermione and Ron ran after him catching up just behind him. "Harry where are you going? What's going on?" Hermione called out. Neville followed after both of them but slightly slower. Neville noticed Quirrell following the three Gryffindors and he wondered just what was going on?

Harry ignored Hermione's questions as he ran after the quickly retreating black clad figure. He was hopping to catch Severus before he left. By now the boy had figured out that if Severus was running off and his scar was hurting then it meant that _'the dark lord'_ as Severus called him was calling the Death Eaters. Harry paused as they reached the edge of the Forbidden Forest and Severus vanished into it's darkness. Hermione took her chance and grabbed Harry hard around the arm preventing him from following Severus and insuring that they lost him.

"Let me go!" Harry called rounding on Hermione. "I've got to stop him!" Harry screamed at her tears falling down his.

"What are you talking about?" Hermione asked clearly confused.

"He's going to get hurt," Harry babbled on. Not knowing how to explain what he'd felt. That deep anger that went bone deep. Something wasn't right. Something...

His thoughts trailed off as he saw Quirrell coming straight at them. Harry gaped at the man. Eyes wide as Quirrell grinned evilly at them. 

"Well well well, if it isn't Harry Potter, all alone with no one but his little friends," Quirrell said no longer stuttering. Harry, Hermione and Ron frozen in absolute shock and fear a moment before Quirrell started casting curses at them. Ron and Hermione fell before either could react. Both stunned by Quirrell. Leaving Harry standing before the man disarmed and helpless. Fear spread through him as Quirrell closed the distance between them.

* * *

SEVERUS SNAPE POV

* * *

Severus pressed his right hand over the mark and quickly apparated to Riddle Manor. The moment he slid into his spot in the circle he knew that the dreaded _'celebration'_ was to be this afternoon. No doubt there would be a regular meeting ahead of time, and from the look of things only the inner circle had been called right now. That meant that reports were due. Severus was thankful that he had stashed the required potion the Dark Lord had ordered him to make, all twelve vials of it, in his inner robe pocket just in case the Dark Lord called.

The sharp cries of pain and screams that echoed around the room they stood in told Severus that the raids had been successful. From the way Bellatrix was dancing around in her spot he could tell she was itching to start _'playing'_ with their captives. Severus suppressed a shiver. He hated what this evening would entail for him. The acts he would have to commit in order to remain above suspicion. He could feel the tension in Lucius by his side. He knew Lucius loathed these meetings as much as he did.

"My most trusted followers, welcome," the Dark Lord hissed rising from his throne where he had been sitting a little earlier. His blood red gaze sweeping over the complete circle. "How it pleases me to see you all once again gathered around me. Only the spaces of the dead remain empty, but they will be filled soon. Soon my most faithful, we will be whole again."

The Dark Lord swept from one black clad figure to the next. His eyes lingering on their gazes. The only one in the whole circle not dressed in Death Eater robes and who's face was uncovered was Bellatrix. Her wild eyes and equally wild hair bouncing as she danced on the spot. Clearly more insane now then when she'd been before. Severus felt sadness at the ruin of the woman who had once been cruel yes, but she'd once been lovely and brilliant. Now he could see she was nothing more then a shell of who she'd been. He looked away unable to stand the sight of her. She was Narcissa's elder sister and the two had been close, before Andromeda had become outcast. As the middle child Andromeda had been the bridge between older and younger sisters. Andromeda had been their best friend as a child. Both women had born her loss in different ways. Bellatrix had cut all ties with Andromeda while Narcissa had sought to defy their mother and remain in contact discreetly and that had forever separated Bellatrix and Narcissa. Before then Severus had been friends with all three sisters and now he was only friends with one, Narcissa.

Pulling his mind and focus out of the past he realized the Dark Lord was still speaking and he'd missed what had been said. He couldn't afford to let past memories cloud his mind or he'd be in serious trouble. There was something dark in the Dark Lord's mood tonight. Something completely not right and Severus didn't know what it was. Whatever it was it troubled him deeply and he needed to be cautious.

"... too long have we been separated from one another. Too long have we been forced to hide. Soon my faithful we will rise from the darkness that shelters us to take our rightful place! Soon we will have what is rightfully ours!" The Dark Lord growled from the centre of the circle. Turning slowly too look at each of them in turn once more.

"Tonight I bring good news to you and terrible news. An unspeakable was delivered into my grasp, and soon I will break him and learn the location of what I seek!" The Dark Lord went on.

"We cannot rejoice however, for amongst our own is a traitor. One who seeks to undo all that we are working towards. We must find this traitor and bring them before me! We must destroy them, for we cannot succeed while divided. This traitor is our greatest threat," The Dark Lord ranted. His eyes pausing on each concealed face as he spoke.

Severus felt his heart stop at those words and was ever grateful for the cold mask and occlumency that shielded his true feelings. Fear and panic rose up, but he had to force them down. He couldn't allow them to be seen. Not now. He let the fake calm wash over him and allowed the cold aloofness he always wore as a mask be his strength as he quieted his mind pushing all feelings, all betraying thoughts from his mind. Locking everything down behind absolute emptiness and thick mental shields. Now was not the time to allow himself to panic or fear. He had to be strong. He had to be convincing. His very life and that of countless others relied on his ability to remain unsuspected as the traitor.

"You see my faithful, we were betrayed. That betrayal led to the death of all ten of our faithful. All ten who were the distraction for your escape! Their deaths we will honour tonight. And when that traitor is found, they will pay with their flesh and their blood for each and every one of our brethren we lost that night!" The Dark Lord spat those words out and Severus felt his heart skip another beat as he realized he wasn't lost yet. That strike force had been put together by Avery from the lower ranks. That meant that the Dark Lord couldn't be certain the traitor was in the inner circle. Relief flooded Severus's body, but none of it showed on the outside. He had to be careful from now on, how the order reacted to what he brought them or their actions would be the death of him. He suppressed a shiver at that thought, as the all too real realization that this war might well claim his very life. He had wanted to die since the day Lily had died, he only lived on to safeguard her son and now, now he desired to live to be a part of that child's life and for that reason alone he felt fear. Tasted it so strongly in fact that it took everything he had to remain cold and distant. Even as his body tensed.

Severus was grateful that the tension in his own body would go unnoticed, everyone around them was tense. Every one of them was still almost unnaturally so, including Bellatrix. She had finally stopped her twitching as she stood facing the Dark Lord. Her ice cold eyes locked onto his blood red with such adoration it made Severus's skin crawl.

"Gather my faithful and stand by my side as we light the fires that will stand as our funeral piers for our fallen," The Dark Lord called, beckoning them to follow him. Slowly the gathered inner circle of the Death Eaters fell into lines behind him as they followed like a military procession down through the mansion and out into the back gardens. Which were nothing more then ruins of the beauty they had once been. Out over the empty grounds. To finally stop at a large pile of wood made into the shape of a pyramid where at the top stood tied and gagged a series of four muggles. The Dark Lord pointed his wand at the stack of wood and with a hissed, "incendio" lite the fire as they stood around it watching. A half circle forming behind him of two rows. The inner most circle and the rest of the inner circle falling into the second row. Severus stood with Lucius in the first row of the circle. As was his place. With horror he watched the unnatural fire consume the wood like a true inferno straight from the gates of hell itself. Rising upwards into the sky. The thick smoke and the heat washed over him much as the dying screams from the muggles filled his ears and turned his stomach.

Wanting nothing more then to look away and not see this sight before him. Feeling his body tremble in grief, hatred, and pain as he watched being unable to turn away without giving himself away. Witnessing their deaths which were mercifully brief as the thick smoke killed them before the fire did more then scorch their clothing. Tears threatened to fall and he had to focus all his power on his occlumency shields to prevent the grief from winning out. How he hated himself in that moment for being unable to help them. For having to stand here amongst the cheering death eaters and the cruelly smiling Dark Lord to witness this most disgusting sight. The worst was that this was just the beginning of the evening.

Once the fire was finally dwindling to ash in the wind they returned back into the mansion and the Dark Lord called the rest of the Death Eaters to them. Severus stood still as stone as the rest of the Dark Lord's army gathered around them filling in the room. When total silence fell the Dark Lord rose from his throne once more to stand in their centre.

"Bring forth the initiates!" Came the cold harsh call from the Dark Lord into the total silence. A path cleared leading from one of the many doors and straight towards the Dark Lord. All eyes watched as the door opened at the end and four cloaked figures appeared and slowly walked down until all four of them knelt before the Dark Lord and the circle closed up around them. They raised their left arm palm upward in perfect synchronicity as if this had been rehearsed. Which it would have been by one of their followers who had brought them here today. Their sponsor. Severus suppressed a shiver as he recognized each face as the Dark Lord pulled off their hood and they met his blood red gaze before he pressed his wand to their arm and whispered the words that branded them as his. They screamed out in pain and fell to his feet panting when he finished. He had known each of them for seven years. They had been his students, he had mentored them all. Each one was a member of Slytherin house. His students. Pain ripped through him as he lost four more of his charges to this monster.

Done with this the Dark Lord regarded them all with cold blood red eyes and hissed out. "Now is take your place my faithful," with those words spoken the four stood and walked out of the inner circle to stand with the others two steps back from the main circle that surrounded the Dark Lord.

"Severus," the Dark Lord hissed out turning to him, "have you completed the potion I set for you?" 

"Yes my Lord," Severus said simply. Neutrally. Pulling out one of the vials.

"How many do you have?" The Dark Lord asked with glowing red eyes sparking with glee.

"Twelve vials my Lord," Severus replied.

"Good," the Dark Lord responded, "I will want a display Severus," he said wickedly. "Tell me Severus, do you have a cure?" The Dark Lord took two steps forward until he stood right in front of Severus. Taking the vial from his hand. Severus shivered. Knowing what was coming next. He debated the sanity of lying. The next words spoken by the creature before him made him certain he didn't need to lie as it would be pointless, "I think you do. You are too smart to hand me a potion that I could use to kill you without making sure you could save yourself. Do not worry Severus I knew you'd defy me in this. You are too intelligent not to know that I would make you drink that," A cruel smile curved those features. "Tell me Severus does it work?" The Dark Lord demanded.

"Yes my Lord I does just as you desired it to do," Severus responded.

"How does the antidote work?" The Dark Lord inquired.

"There is a narrow window in which it can be administered before it is too late. The poison must be in the victims system for six hours before the antidote can be taken or it will have no affect. Anything longer then twelve hours and the antidote will be useless as it is already too late by then. The last twelve hours are just borrowed time," Severus responded feeling the full weight of hatred and grief on his conscience as he spoke. Knowing full well the number of death that would now be on his hands for this. He truly hated himself for what he did as he handed over the last eleven vials into the Dark Lord's outstretched hand. Cruel eyes sparked with mirth as he smiled at Severus.

"Excellent, then you won't mind testing this out for us that we may witness the true greatness of your skill my potion master," The Dark Lord hissed out holding out the first vial Severus had handed him with no hesitation Severus took the vial from the Dark Lord and brought it to his lips, tilting it back he drank it's contents with a shiver of revulsion as pain sliced through his body the instance that the dark amber liquid passed his lips. Burning down his throat and into his stomach. Making his shake as his kneels buckled. The vial fell from his trembling grip and shattered to the floor. Severus struggled to remain standing even as his whole body began to burn with a pain so deep he felt his bones must surely break. Raw and even worse then the cruciatus as it didn't let up the pain built into a blinding agony within him. 

For the next five hours muggles were brought forth and tortured to death in varying ways before his eyes as each of the four initiate took turns along with those who were just released from Azkaban and a few others chosen by the Dark Lord to join in. All the while Severus struggled to remain standing and coherent enough not to scream. His breathing harsh and laboured, his heart pounding far too rapidly in his chest, his body coated in sweat and his head feeling like it would break open from the agony he was in. He eventually fell and screamed out as the pain built to a level even he couldn't stand.

Trembling and curled up on the ground he was dimly aware of Lucius kneeling beside him. His hand gently cradling his head. Severus had handed six vials of the antidote to Lucius just before he'd entered the meeting knowing that there might be a time when Lucius would need it just as much as he would. As the last of the of the hour ticked by and the last of the muggles was being tortured to death by the one of the initiates in the center of their group, Lucius took out one of the vials and slowly uncapped it. His eyes focused solely on Severus, wanting to be absolutely certain that he didn't waist the antidote he waited long agonized minutes before pouring the antidote down Severus's throat even as the other wasn't aware he was doing so. 

Consciousness slowly returned to Severus, the bone deep ache was still present, but the pain had let up significantly and he could finally breath in. He felt sick and disorientated. Blinking into the too bright room, even though it was well into nightfall Severus found the swimming face of Lucius next to him. 

"You ok?" Lucius asked gently, softly. Severus nodded weakly. Far too tired and in pain to respond to that. He looked around and noticed only a few of the Death Eaters remained now. The room was empty. Those who remained were taking care of the bodies. Severus looked away quickly. He had seen enough to haunt his dreams for months to come. Pushing himself up he caught sight of the last thing he wanted to see. The Dark Lord watching him from his throne. 

"I see that you are awake Severus," came the hissing voice and Severus bowed his head in the affirmative. "I would say your potion works beautifully, but the victim doesn't stay awake long now does he."

"No my Lord, the human body no matter how well conditioned cannot withstand that level of pain for long," Severus responded in a scratchy and tight voice.

"The pain lingers still?" The Dark Lord inquired.

"Yes my Lord," Severus replied knowing that to lie wouldn't achieve anything, but a few rounds of Cruciatus which he could seriously do without at the moment.

"That is something, how many more vials of the antidote can you create for me?" The Dark Lord inquired, "I will be calling you all back in a weeks time that is how long you have," he added before Severus could speak.

"A batch makes twelve vials my Lord, I can bring you all twelve by that time," Severus replied crisply. His voice wavering slightly as he finally pushed himself to stand.

"See that you do," The Dark Lord said dismissively, "oh and Severus start another batch of this, I think it will be quite fun."

"Yes my Lord," Severus said softly bowing stiffly before he made his slow and mechanical way out of the mansion with Lucius at his side. Lucius looked at him with worry written clearly on his face. Once they reach the apparation point Severus faced him and spoke softly, "I'll be fine Lucius, the antidote is flawless and has countered the poison and most of the effects of the potion. The lingering pain will last the rest of the twenty four hours it was designed to, but I shall live."

"If you need to come to the Manor later," Lucius said gently grabbing Severus's shoulder and giving it a firm squeeze before letting go and apparating away. Severus apparated back to Hogwarts slowly making his way towards the gargoyle that guarded the entrance to the Headmasters office.


	38. Meetings Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I broke apart this chapter because it was beginning to be excessively long. So Meetings is in Two parts. Also it is easier this way in case you didn't want to read the 'Death Eater' meeting part as it is a little bit of torture and lots of death and stuff. Though I try not to go into very much details the last chapter held enough 'death and torture' I felt it warranted a Warning. Thus I broke apart the second meeting (the one that hold's the Order of the Phoenix meeting) into a second chapter.

Severus sat down slowly in front of the Headmaster. His movements were far more mechanical and stiff then usual and his dark gaze held pain and something else that Albus couldn't identify darkening those obsidian orbs. Albus spent a full minute observing Severus before he finally spoke.

"I called a meeting of the Order tonight when I realized you had been called away," Albus said softly. "Do you wish to floo over with me?" He finally asked after a long look at Severus's features.

"I can," Severus replied. His words lacking their usual silken tones. Instead they were cold and hoarse as if he'd been screaming. Something Albus found disturbing as he looked over the other man one more time before rising. Severus got up slower his movements controlled, but the faint tremor that ran through Severus's body didn't go unnoticed to Albus. Even clad in his thick black teaching robes Albus could see that Severus was shaking. His hands were hidden in the voluminous sleeves no doubt to hide their trembling. It was clear to Albus that Severus had been tortured, but the why and how badly were still to be answered. 

Albus led the way towards the fireplace and cast in the floo powder calling out his ancestral home before stepping through and Severus quickly followed. Severus staggered the moment he landed, his head was still spinning and he was left reeling from dizziness and nausea as he stepped out of the floo. A strong hand closed over his arm to steady him, but the burry field of his vision prevented him from seeing who it was that touched him.

It took several long minutes before Severus was able to blink the blurry edges out of his eyes and pull himself back together again. His breathing still laboured and his mind still spinning, he looked around the room. Glad that it was no longer spinning around him. His gaze fell to rest on Minerva's concerned face as she slowly released his arm. So it had been her who had caught him. He noticed that Alastor Moody was also eyeing him critically with something that looked almost like concern in his features. Severus quickly looked away catching sight of Nymphadora Tonks chatting with Kingsley Shaklebolt who was looking at him critically from above Tonks's head. What seemed odder still was Albus standing on the far edge of the room next to an open window where an eagle owl was perched preening as he read a letter, a moment before penning out a quick reply on the back of the parchment and handing it to the bird who promptly took off. That was slightly odd. The bird seemed to be flying a lot faster then should be normal.

Severus settled himself in the chair close to the fire near where he stood. He felt cold to his very bones and for the first time in a long time he desired the actual heat of a fire to warm him instead of just casting a warming charm. There was something about the merry crackling of the fire that seemed to unthaw the cold inside him that a warming charm wouldn't succeed in doing. He looked purposefully into the flames to avoid looking at anyone else. The meeting slowly progressed as it usually did. Reports on the new Headquarters were given by Molly, Black and Lupin who were getting it ready for habitation. A few others were chiming in as well with reports on the layers of wards the house now had on top of what it had held from all the ancestors of the Black lineage who'd owned the house.

When the reports on the Auror battle that had taken place at the same time as the Azkaban breakout came around Severus turned to face them listening intently.

"We lost four of our own," Kingsley was saying. "We did manage to take out all ten of the Death Eaters who showed up though. If it hadn't been for the warning we'd have been caught off guard and would likely have lost many more Aurors then we did."

"It didn't matter though they still managed to break out everyone of the Death Eaters locked up in Azkaban," Alastor barked grumpily.

"There are simply not enough Aurors to split our number up like that Moody, we only succeeded because the majority of the Aurors were there! Had we sent more to the prison then we would have lost many more of our own," Kingsley countered.

"He's right Moody," Severus said in a too soft voice. The edge of pain lacing his words. Every eye turned to him, but he didn't look at any of them. "The Dark Lord was deeply angered by the loss. Even the release of those who had been in Azkaban could not still his anger and rage."

"There was a meeting tonight then?" Alastor asked. Though his tone was harsh and gruff his words held an edge of something that Severus couldn't place. Severus merely nodded.

"Anything to report Severus?" Albus followed up on Alastor's question. Severus took several deep breaths attempting to push away the memories and emotions that rose and threatened to choke him. He felt a shiver run down his spine at the words he would have to speak next.

"He has obtained an Unspeakable, along with the potion he had me make and is aware of the antidote and it's restrictions. Four young..." his words trailed off as he visibly cringed at the memories of those four faces. The four children he lost to the Dark Lord. It was times like these that haunted the dour man most of all. All those he couldn't help lead away from the Dark Lord and his evil ways. Swallowing hard he finished his words in a whisper, "wizards have joined his ranks tonight." He fell silent after that steadying himself for the next part. The startled looks he received didn't go unnoticed, but Severus didn't care. It took all he had to remain calm and collected, a far cry from his usual cold and distant self.

"Thirty-six of the missing muggles are now dead, four of them burnt to ash, the others will likely be placed somewhere as some sort of message. The exact details of which I cannot even guess at as I was," he continued on pausing before he said the next word with a slight emphasis, " _indisposed_ during their torture and murder," Severus finished avoiding mentioning anything else about the evening.

"How badly were you injured tonight Severus," Albus asked him, his bright twinkling blue eyes were a dull and ice cold blue as they bore into Severus's clouded obsidian gaze.

"I have no physical injury," Severus replied crisply. Though his voice wavered slightly on the words.

"You bear some form of injury Severus, everyone here can see it," Alastor stated bluntly. Cutting across Albus.

"I was the demonstration of the potions potency," Severus replied after a long pause. He didn't elaborate on anything more.

"You've taken the antidote I presume?" Albus asked.

"If I had not I would not be sitting here right now headmaster," Severus responded. 

"Going to elaborate on that?" Alastor demanded.

"If I must," Severus responded deadpan. His voice holding no emotion what so ever. In cold clinical words he went on after both man had nodded that yes he had to explain. "The potion consists of three parts: The poison which can be countered by the antidote after six hours of ingestion, but before twelve hours have passed. The pain component which is instantaneous and last for the full six hours, this potion has no antidote and cannot be countered by regular pain relievers. The last component is the mimic of the Cruciatus curse, it is designed to last for the full twenty four hours the potion is designed for. However, this last part of the potion is slow in acting and isn't felt until about four hours after consumption. Resulting in unconsciousness before the full six hours are elapsed. The potency of the potion is enhanced by the binding agent used in order to make all three parts into one."

"Why does it take six hours before you can take the antidote?" Black asked curiously. Severus gave him a gimlet stare.

"If you had bothered to learn anything during potions classes you'd know that a long acting poison requires a number of hours, depending on the poison used, to be fully absorbed in the body and if the antidote is taken before it is fully absorbed then it will not be fully countered and the poison will just be a lower dosage rather then neutralized." Severus explained with a note of exasperation in his dry tone. Severus continued, "the nature of this poison gives a limited window for an antidote to be administered. Anything before the full six hours are up and the poison will remain lethal to the victim. Anything after twelve hours will be useless because the poison will have already begun doing irreparable harm and the strength of it's components will have increased over time, rendering the antidote far too weak to counter it."

"I take it this is one of your specific antidote only potions?" Albus inquired.

"Unfortunately yes, and the antidote itself takes a week to brew and is immensely complicated. Very few potions masters could succeed in replicating the potions required potency to counter this particular poison," Severus responded. "The potion is also tasteless, odourless and colourless, thus virtually undetectable. The only way to know that it was administered is the blinding agony that will spread quickly through the system starting with a fire like sensation in the throat as it is ingested."

"Who were the four initiate Severus?" Albus asked after a long pause. Silence had fallen as the ramification of Severus's words finally hit everyone.

"Darvel Parkinson, Sebastian Lesgar, Gabriel Flint, and Adrian Rogue," Severus replied his voice going softer and edged with both grief and pain. "All four graduated from Hogwarts at the end of last year and were in Slytherin house," Severus explained. His voice dry and cold. His eyes had gone hard and distant. His face stark white. 

"I'm sorry Severus," Albus said gently. Knowing how much loosing even one of his Snakes to the Dark Lord affected Severus.

"They are inexperienced, but all four are excellent duelist and strong in magical force," Severus answered instead. Brushing aside Albus's words. No amount of grief or sorrow would free those four souls from the grips of the Dark Lord. Like countless others before them the only way to be free from that monster was for him to die. That was Severus's goal. It was the knowledge that the younger ones like these four would be caught up in the war and likely not survive, that truly made him ache. When it came down to it, he might have to fight against them. 

"Is there anything else we need to know Severus?" Albus inquired.

"Yes, _he_ strongly suspects that there is a traitor in our midst," Severus began emphasizing the he so they would know he meant the Dark Lord. Severus continued, "he has tasked those of us who are in the inner circle to actively seek out the traitor." Severus didn't say the words, but everyone there knew what he meant. _'Actively seeking me.'_

"What does this mean for the information you gather?" Kingsley inquired.

"It means that you'll have to act a lot more cautiously on it otherwise I will be discovered," Severus replied. Omitting two very important things that Albus didn't fail to catch. _'Otherwise he will kill me.'_ And _'I will withhold information that proves too dangerous acting on it myself instead.'_

"Boy if you're thinking of withholding vital information...," Alastor began growling. It was Albus who cut him off before a misunderstanding could take place.

"You will not act alone Severus, we've been over this, your role is not to take on the Dark Lord by yourself, but to relay information to me. You are not alone in this," Albus said over Alastor's next words.

"He knew that it was the Order of the Phoenix who had bolstered the Auror's that night Albus. He knew that a traitor had given the plan away, because the Order acted openly. It leaves me with very little choices in the matter," Severus responded. He went on coldly, "many already suspect me, but have no proof. They no doubt bring their concerns to the Dark Lord even now. He will watch me closer for a while. Caution must be taken if I am to remain undiscovered."

"I will not risk your life needlessly Severus," Albus said with finality. Severus gave him a one raised eyebrow stare that simply meant. _'that is exactly what happens every time I return to the Dark Lord's side.'_ However, Severus didn't speak. He was far too tired and worn out to utter a single word on this topic. It simply wasn't worth the argument. He leaned back in his chair and fell silent as the rest of the meeting progressed.

* * *

Severus walked down the last step that led him to his chambers pausing just outside the portrait of Salazar who was still awake. Salazar regarded him with a frown as he gently stroked the snake that wound about his upper torso.

"You look unwell Severus," Salazar stated simply. It was not a question, simply a statement of fact. A silent offer that Severus often took him up on, though not in this portrait as he didn't fancy standing outside his door talking.

"Always Lily, and Salazar meet me in my private office later," Severus said adding the last as the portrait slid sideways to reveal the entrance to his chambers. A curt nod met his request and he stepped through the door closing behind him. The first thing he noticed was the warmth of his normally cold rooms. He made his way towards the living room and his fireplace to find Lucius reading a book in his armchair with a roaring fire in the hearth. Severus sighed. He didn't want to talk to anyone, not even Lucius, he simply wanted to be alone. Well maybe he wanted to talk to Salazar, but that is because the portrait unlike people wouldn't repeat what he said to anyone. Severus sat himself down on the couch taking note that both Phineas and Salazar were in the portrait above his mantle. _Typical,_ Severus thought wryly as he nodded in their direction. Phineas was rarely in his portrait down here, unless Salazar told him to come down or Albus did. In this case Severus figured Albus had set him up to it. Not that Phineas would report on anything that went on down here in anything but vague terms and subtle eversions. It was one of the only reasons Severus didn't over the picture and layer spells over it so it couldn't eavesdrop.

"Care for a drink Severus?" Lucius asked finally setting down the book.

"If I wanted one Lucius I would get one, seeing as this is my quarters," Severus responded tiredly. "Why are you here?"

"To ask if you knew why Quirrell was absent from the meeting tonight," Lucius asked taking a sip of the amber liquid in his glass.

"In case you'd missed the part where I was poisoned and unconscious for most of the meeting Lucius, no I don't know why Quirrell was absent, I didn't even know he was absent," Severus snapped.

"According to Dumbledore he left at the same time you did Severus," Lucius went on ignoring Severus's words. "So if he did not go to meet our lord why did he follow you?" 

"Phineas would you go and see if you can track Quirrell's whereabouts?" Severus asked the portrait seeing what Lucius meant, that was highly unusual. Quirrell wasn't in the inner circle. He shouldn't have been summoned with them. 

"There are three students approaching your door from the Slytherin common room hidden passageway Severus," Salazar cut in before Phineas could reply to his query, "and two of them are Gryffindors."


	39. Taken

Severus had just risen to his feet a flick of his wrist and the door that was hidden behind the bookcase opened just as three children staggered to a stop just before the opening. Severus's regarded the three children who stood at the entrance to his rooms, Fred Weasley, Neville Longbottom and Draco Malfoy. Lucius came to his feet and walked over to have a better look at his son as the two Gryffindor boys started speaking one over the other.

"Quirrell has Harry," Neville began breathlessly. The rest of his words lost as Fred spoke over him.

"Ron and and Hermione went after them," Fred put in. Fred paused to take a breath and Neville's words cold be heard again.

"He's gone nuts!" Neville went on. After that statement Neville took a deep breath to keep going and Fred's voice was loud over whatever Neville was going to say.

"They were saying he attacked them," Fred kept going. Both boy's were now speaking loudly and far to fast for anyone to understand the noise.

"Enough," Severus finally said. Even for the bits and pieces he caught the story before him made no sense. Though he did not raise his voice above it's normal volume total silence fell. All three boys looked at him. Severus took a deep breath and went on, "now come inside and sit down on the couch," Severus instructed. The three children followed his instructions. The door to his rooms slid shut and Severus returned to his seat with Lucius a step ahead of him. Once everyone was settled Severus spoke into the silence again.

"Now we are going to start this again, this time from the beginning," Severus demanded looking over the three children. It was Neville who spoke first. The tale he told was one that made Severus's blood run cold. Quirrell had taken Harry. When Neville finished with telling them his tale it was Draco who spoke up next. 

"I had seen Harry and his friends following you as you left the match. I waited for them to come back, but when they didn't I made my way down towards the forest and saw them. Longbottom was trying to wake Granger and Weasley. So I went over to find out where Harry was and what had happened. That's when he told me that Quirrell had taken Harry and I knew we had to get you," Draco explained. Falling silent for Fred to take over the story.

"We saw Quirrell carrying Harry, but he wasn't heading to the Hospital Wing so George followed them and I went out to find Professor McGonagall. That's when I saw Ron, Hermione, Neville and Draco heading towards me. I waited for them and they told me what had happened. Ron and Hermione didn't want to go to you and were arguing with Draco. In the end they decided to go after Quirrell whom they said was heading for the third floor corridor and we came here. Draco said it would be safer if we went through the Slytherin common room that way we could ask one of the Prefects," Fred said and nodded to Draco to tell this part.

"We found Jane White getting the first years to head off to their dorm rooms for curfew and she said you should be in your rooms. Since they didn't get a message saying otherwise. We couldn't find Salazar in the Common Room either and he's always there unless he's here with you. Jane let us through the secret door and we came here. Jane sent Blaise to Professor McGonagall since Professor Dumbledore isn't here," Draco finished. Severus looked over to Lucius. The man had his usual cold and collected aristocratic mask in place, but Severus could see the horror and fear in his eyes. 

"Where are the others now?" Severus asked.

"George told me that they were determined to go after Harry so he went with them to try and keep an eye on them," Fred said. A moment before a solid knock sounded on his door. Severus looked over to Salazar who had just returned. 

"McGonagall is outside your door with Zabini," Salazar told him.

"Let them in," Severus instructed before Salazar vanished and a moment later the door opened from the hallway and Minerva walked in accompanied by Zabini. "Minerva do come in," Severus said looking back over to the children he instructed, "Draco, Blaise go on back to your dorms and do not leave, I will come see you tomorrow morning, wait for me in the common room before you leave for breakfast." The two boys nodded, Draco giving Lucius a quick good-bey. Severus waved his hand and the hidden door opened. The two boys left through it and it closed behind them. Severus then turned to Minerva who had settled in a chair she conjured next to the couch. He explained everything that had happened.

"I'll take these two to their tower, then I will contact Albus, we will meet you in the chamber with the stone," Minerva said.

"Very well," Severus said rising. A soft hiss of pain left his lips as he rose. The residual pain had dulled over the last few minutes, but now it had returned with a sharp spike. 

"I'm going with you Severus," Lucius said simply, having caught the sharp intake of breath that signalled his friend was still suffering from the poison. Minerva regarded them both with concern and curiosity. Severus nodded to Lucius. Leading the way to his door he threw it open and waited for the two boys and Minerva to step out first. Before he left with Lucius.

Neither spoke as they made their way to the third floor corridor. Once they reached the third floor and opened the door where the three headed dog resided they saw the harp that sat silent in the corner just out of the dog's reach. The trap door that had been beneath the large dog was now open and two of it's heads were growling and snapping at the stone trying to break the opening so that it could fit through. One of it's head caught sight of them and started growling. That caused the two other heads to face them. 

Severus drew in a breath and with a quick flick of his wand sent a silent spell to the harp which started to play a melody. Severus charmed it to remain on. As the dog fell asleep he led the way inside, stopping at the open and shattered door. "You'll need to fly to miss the Devil's Snare at the bottom," Severus instructed.

They flew down past the plant, through to the chamber with the keys, and found the three children in the chamber where the large chess set was set up. They were just finishing the game. Severus gasped out as Ron was slung up against the wall and cringed back at the sound of the impact. He went to the child and knelt by him. His wand wove a complex pattern over his body and a paper materialized in his hand. George played the last move of the game and the clanging of the sword announced their victory and access. 

"Lucius can you take those two out of here?" Severus asked as he started to cast a healing charm over the prone boy at his feet. "Blast the door if you must, my wards haven't fallen yet, we are not too late and have some time," Severus added as he saw the worried frown on Lucius's face. Lucius nodded and without waiting grabbed hold of the two protesting children's arms and was gone in a stream of black smoke. Flying them out of the chamber and to safety. Severus turned back to his task. It only took a mater of minutes before Albus, Minerva and Lucius returned. He stood up and turned towards Minerva, "He needs to go to the Hospital Wing, I have done all I can for him, Poppy will be able to heal him completely," Severus told her as she came to the boy's side. She nodded curtly before taking the boy in her arms and walking out.

"The wards are still holding, but he is facing the mirror," Albus told Severus as the three of them walked back out heading towards the final chamber. Once they reached the chamber just before the purple and black fires prevented them from moving forwards. Severus took out a vial from his robe and handed it to Albus, "drink half and give the rest of Lucius," Severus instructed walking to the desk and grabbing the vial that held the same potion there. He downed the remaining half and walked forwards Albus and Lucius having done what he instructed followed him through the fire. There Quirrell was working on untangling the wards that blocked the small alcove that held the stone blocked by the mirror.

"Quirinus," Albus said gently and the man turned to face him. Severus breathed out a sigh of relief as he caught sight of Harry who was lying sprawled on the ground a foot from where Quirrell stood. As his eyes fell on the boy taking in his appearance anger swam up and made Severus's blood run cold. Blood covered the boy's forehead, if he had to guess he would say that it was from his scar. More then that a long slice on his left forearm bled freely. 

"How dare you hurt my son!" Lucius growled before Albus could speak again. Lucius took one step forward and before anyone could say or do anything he cast a hex at Quirrell which caused the other to scream as pain exploded over his body. Severus ignored the screaming Quirrell who had fallen to the ground. He walked over to Harry and slowly knelt down by the boy waving his wand in a complex pattern.

Spells flew from Lucius and Quirrell as they fell into a duel, so much so that Severus cast a protective charm around the child and himself to keep the flying debris from hitting either of them as Severus worked to heal the cut on the boy's forearm. 

Albus stood watching them which irritated Severus, but didn't surprise him. Soon Quirrell was disarmed and laying at Lucius's feet begging for mercy. Lucius didn't look inclined to give it, until Albus spoke. "Don't kill him Lucius, he isn't worth it. You have a child to see to."

Lucius looked over to Albus before looking at Severus and Harry. "You are lucky Quirrell, my son is the only reason you will receive mercy from me," Lucius declared before sweeping over to Severus and Harry kneeling down next to them. "How is he Severus?"

"He'll be ok. He should be seen to by Poppy for the head wound, it's not his scar as I first thought. He was hit in the head by something, maybe a hex. I don't know for sure," Severus explained. "As you can see the cut on his arm is healed and will not scar."

"I'll take him to the Hospital Wing," Lucius said gently drawing Harry into his arms. Both man rose finding themselves alone in the chamber. Neither cared enough to find out where Albus and Quirrell had gone. They headed towards the Hospital Wing with Harry.

Once there they laid Harry down into a bed and Poppy came over to cast her own diagnostic charm and start to see to Harry. The three children they had found in the chamber were sitting on a bed talking in low tones fell silent as they entered and came running over. Lucius conjured up a chair and settled down next to Harry's bedside. 

"You three get back in bed!" Poppy ordered firmly to the three children, "you can see him tomorrow."

Reluctantly the three of them left and she went back to work. Severus looked over to Lucius and spoke softly, "I must have a word with Albus, will you remain here?"

"I will, can you inform Narcissa?" Lucius inquired.

"Certainly," Severus replied and with that he swept out of the room in a billow of black clothing.


	40. Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of the first instalment of Black Phoenix. This chapter will be a little on the long side as it ties together a lot of different things that are left a little open by the ending of the story. It also will lay down the foundations for the next instalment of Black Phoenix. As soon as I have tied off a few more of my stories I'll be starting _Black Phoenix: Into the Chamber_

Severus had gone first into his flat in order to firecall Narcissa. She was headed up the hospital wing and now Severus made his way up to the headmaster's office. His stride quick and determined. Even though his body burned from the poison he'd ingested earlier this night. Looking out the window as he took his seat across the empty desk Severus realized dawn was breaking.

"Severus, are you alright?" Minerva inquired as she entered the room followed by Kingsley, Tonks and Alastor. 

"I'm fine Minerva," Severus stated turning in his seat and rising as he caught sight of the others. A slight wince gave away that he wasn't exactly fine. "Kingsley, Nymphadora, Alastor," Severus stated in greeting. It had taken him a long time, but he'd finally gotten around to calling most of the Order members by their first names. Since they all insisted on calling in Severus, well most anyways. There was still Lupin and Black who called him Snape or worse. Come to think of it it'd been a while since that awful name had been used. 

"Severus," Kingsley and Alastor said at the same time that Tonks growled, "don't call me that!" As her hair turned a fiery red. He gave her a small smirk. Taking some pleasure in annoying the witch. 

"I presume you three are here to escort our _guest_ to a nice cell in the depths of the ministry?" Severus inquired that same infuriating smirk lighting up his features. 

"That we are," Kingsley stated. Severus sighed. 

"This could prove dangerous, by allowing him to leave with his mind intact from this school you are placing the lives of an entire family in danger. For them a fate worth then death awaits them if Quirrell speaks and it reaches the Dark Lord's ears," Severus replied succinctly. He didn't care about his own death. 

"What do you mean by that Severus?" Alastor demanded darkly.

"Lucius Malfoy was with me when we rescued Harry from Quirrell's grasps as he attempted to gain access to the stone," Severus replied. Not elaborating. He saw realization dawn on the three faces.

"Wait, Aunty Cissa and Uncle Lucius are here?" Tonks asked startling everyone.

"Yes, they are downstairs with Harry right now," Minerva informed her, "In the infirmary. You may drop by and see them before you leave."

"Quirrell will not be a problem," Albus said as he walked into the room from a side door. "I'm afraid he no longer is capable of even remembering his own name."

"Albus what did you do?" Alastor demanded.

"It was not my own spell Alastor, but rather one that was woven around him. It seems his own master didn't trust him not to spill his secrets at the first opportunity. The moment he was captured it invoked the spell which in essence acts like a very powerful Obliviate. It stripped Quirrell of everything. He's in essence a child. No way to even know the basics. He will need to be sent to St. Mungos for treatment. Nothing what so ever remains of his mind. Not even a legilimens could find anything out from him," Albus explained. Settling himself down. Severus took his seat as others were conjured around Albus's desk and everyone could sit comfortably.

"The Malfoy's are safe then?" Severus inquired.

"I have made quite sure Severus, there is no way even Voldemort could find out what exactly happened down in that chamber," Albus replied. Severus flinched badly at the name as pain shot through his Dark Mark. Combined with the poison it left Severus gasping for breath.

"Do not say his name," Severus whispered out. The pain laced voice caught everyone by surprise and four pairs of eyes focused on him to join Albus's scrutiny of the man.

"How long have you been in pain Severus?" Albus demanded.

"Since I ingested the poison earlier this evening," Severus replied deadpan.

"How long will it last?" Albus inquired. Pushing to understand why Severus's reaction was more violent then normal to the name.

"Twenty four hours," Severus responded again deadpan and emotionless his tone almost clinical.

"The Dark Mark reacts to his name then?" Albus inquired and Severus glowered at him. They had already been over this.

"As you are well aware," Severus replied darkly. Annoyed at needing to repeat. It wasn't until he saw realization dawn on Tonks face that he understood that Albus had been asking these questions for the benefits of the others. Sighing he regarded the headmaster and said in a rather annoyed tone, "If that is all, I have guests in the infirmary and students to look after."

"Why of course Severus, Minerva can see that the Aurors have taken custody of Quirrell and that he is transferred to St. Mungos," Albus said and Severus rose smoothly from his chair leaving the room via the floo straight to the Hospital Wing. 

As soon as he walked out of the office he noticed that Harry was awake and talking quietly with Lucius. Narcissa was seated with Draco next to her next to Harry's bedside. The curtains were drawn mostly closed around the family. Severus stood in the shadows watching them for a brief moment before he glided through the curtains.

"Uncle Severus!" Harry called out the moment he saw Severus entering the small enclosure. 

"How are you feeling Harry?" Severus inquired gently.

"I'm ok. But I don't understand sir," Harry started looking down. Severus sat on the edge of the bed and gently lifted the boy's chin with one finger.

"What don't you understand Harry?" Severus asked gently.

"Well when I was down there and Quirrell touched me his skin started burning, but I felt like I was being held by mom," Harry started, "then he screamed and threw me across the room and that's when everything just went black. Though I don't get it Uncle Severus, I heard her whispering that I'd be safe from harm because she loved me. I heard mom Uncle Severus," Harry's words broke on a sob and tears flowed freely down his cheeks. Severus for his part stood frozen his heart pounding hard in his chest. It felt as though his whole world had just crashed down, it was Harry's next words that made him feel weak and shaky, "she said dad would be proud of me. That I'd be safe now." Those words left the whole room stunned to silence. Lucius looked at Severus's ashen face and gaped. 

"Oh Harry," Severus breathed out sadly as he sat down drawing the child to his side holding him in the tight circle of his arms. He shook his head at Lucius. Showing him now wasn't the time. "Your mother loved you so very much Harry. You were her whole world. I can still remember the first time she brought you for me to see. Harry you were so small that the blanket she held you in was swallowing you whole. It was only two days after she'd been released from the hospital. When she placed her in my arms I was so stunned I couldn't even speak. You looked so peaceful. She just kept gently running her fingers over your cheek as she told me how happy you'd made her."

Severus paused as he spoke. Sharing this moment with Harry. A moment even Lucius didn't know he'd had. "Your mother and I had been very close friends when we were children Harry, but we had a falling out," the words cut Severus to the bone and it took all his willpower not to let his emotions show. His neutral mask barely holding against the tidal-wave of emotions. "We hadn't spoken in years, not until she brought you to my door. We didn't speak much that day. She told me about you, while I held you, then just before she was to leave she told me that she trusted me to keep you safe. We made the unbreakable vow, me and you Harry. That I would do everything in my power to keep you safe. That is why she said you'd be safe now, because you are here where I can watch over you."

Another pause followed Severus's word. Lucius was looking at him with something akin to worry, Severus drew in a deep breath before he continued. "The night your mother went into hiding, wards were cast on your home. A very old blood ward was cast, your mother used her own blood to seal it. When that awful night came and she stood before you giving her life to protect you, she didn't know that the magic of that sacrifice fulfilled the only way to transfer the generic blood wards onto a single person. It took me many years of research into those blood wards to finally understand why the headmaster insisted you go to Petunia."

A shorter pause followed and now Severus was looking anywhere but at the child to whom he told these things. "Lily's love for you was pure, the purest love there is. It allowed her sacrifice to mark you Harry. No not the scar the Dark Lord's curse left you with, but a mark that is not visible. It is however very much within you. That love is why Quirrell, or any who mean you harm, cannot touch you Harry. You are protected so long as your mother's blood flows through your veins. Do you understand?"

"I think so, but if I need to be at... Petunia's house to be protected by the blood wards my mother cast then how come I can live at the Malfoys?" Harry asked. Hesitating only slightly at saying Petunia's name.

"Because the headmaster cast more wards at Petunia's house, but they are not necessary to protect you. The protection is in your blood. Though those wards around Petunia's house was stronger then any other we could cast it isn't worth the protection from outside when the threat to your health is from the inside of that house," Severus explained further.

"So I can still go live at Malfoy Manor?" Harry asked. Hope shining in his bright green eyes.

"Yes Harry, I promised not only your mother that I would keep you safe, but I make the same promise to you now Harry. For as long as I draw breath I will keep you safe to the best of my ability this I do so swear to you Harry," Severus replied. The second part of his words came out in a soft authoritative and powerful voice and a soft light entwined their clasped hands and Harry knew this must be the unbreakable vow that Severus spoke of.

"Thanks Uncle Sev," Harry whispered throwing himself into the man's arm burying his face into the black cloth of his robes and softly crying as Severus held him tightly. For the first time that Harry could remember he felt like he truly had a family who loved him.

****

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> This work is also on FF.


End file.
